by Amy Brent
He pumped his hips as I groaned, licking my lips and frantically breathing. As he slapped my clit, I exploded, holding tightly as the waves of orgasm rocked me from head to toe. I could feel my body shaking wildly, the air in my lungs tightly squeezing at my chest. As the waves began to slow, I relaxed, tilting my head back and opening my eyes.
I stared up at the bathroom ceiling, all alone with no idea where Brandt actually was.
Chapter 11
Brandt
I sat at the kitchen counter sipping my coffee and looking around the house. I jotted a few more to-dos down on the paper in front of me and sat back on the stool. I had taken the day off work, something I did about once a month. I got Sicily off to school, letting my mom sleep in and had a lot of things to get done that day. It was my monthly deep clean, the day I took to completely overhaul the house. I did normal cleaning things every night before bed but with me being gone all the time, it was hard to keep up with everything. My mom had offered to do it and keep up with it weekly, but I put enough on her as it was and didn’t want to treat her like the help.
Early on, when Josie had first left, I thought about keeping the nanny on, even hiring a maid to keep up with everything, but I felt like I was setting my daughter up for a view of the world that very few people really got to see. Sure, she would be set for life with me owning the company, but I wanted her to be grounded, to know what it was like to be raised by at least one parent. I never thought she would be a nanny’s responsibility, which had been a huge argument when Josie had originally hired her. It was one thing to be taken care of by her father and her grandmother, another to be taken care of by a complete stranger. I didn’t mind taking these days off. It gave me a chance to clear my head and have a little pride in the apartment.
I got up from the counter and refilled my coffee cup before heading to the closet and pulling down all the boxes on the top shelf. It was a bunch of old paperwork that at one time had seemed important, but I was sure I could get rid of most at that point. I took the boxes down, carried them over to the coffee table, and sat down on the couch. I opened the boxes and started sorting, needing some kind of organization or I would end up tossing everything. I started to go through each paper individually when I was interrupted by a knock on the door. The only people who knew I was home were the people at work, and most likely they would call before showing up at my house unannounced.
I walked over to the door and opened it, and then my chin nearly hit the floor. There Josie was, in all her glory, standing in my doorway. I thought about closing the door in her face and going back to what I was doing, but I knew she wouldn’t go away that easily. She hadn’t shown her face in two years, and now that she was there, I was kind of curious why she would come there. I gritted my teeth and took in a deep, slow breath, trying to keep my calm, just glad Sicily wasn’t there for this.
“What do you want?” I said coldly. “You can’t show up at my front door anymore.”
“I figured Sicily would be at school,” she said calmly. “So I wanted to come by and talk to you about seeing her. Obviously, I could have shown up when she was here, but I didn’t want to disrespect you.”
“Since when have you given a shit about respecting me or not?” I said, chuckling. “Really, why are you here?”
“I’m telling the truth,” she said. “I want to see my daughter. Are you going to invite me in?”
“No,” I scoffed. “I don’t want you in my house. And hear that clearly, Josie, it’s my house, not yours any longer. How dare you just show up here out of the blue? You know where I work. You have my cell phone number. You should have called first. How did you even know I would be here? “
“I called your secretary, and she said you were off. I took a shot in the dark you would be here.”
“You abandoned us,” I said. “You abandoned your daughter when she was five years old with no birthday cards, no phone calls, no fight for her in court. You left and washed your hands of this entire family. You left me with the responsibility to take care of her. We haven’t heard anything from you besides signing the divorce papers, in two fucking years. You need to leave.”
“Brandt,” she said, obviously trying to keep her cool. “I know you’re upset, and I know I have made mistakes, but Sicily has a right to see me.”
“She does,” I said, shaking my head. “But she never even talks about you, not even a little bit. The judge doesn’t think she wants to use that right. Trust me, I know, because every year there is a follow-up with the judge where she asks if you have made any contact.”
“You’re making a mistake here, Brandt,” Josie said angrily. “You cannot play God and just decide whatever you want. You cannot keep me from my daughter.”
“You don’t like it? Take it up with the judge,” I said, slamming the door in her face.
I leaned against the door, breathing heavily. I listened as the elevator beeped and she climbed inside to leave. I couldn’t believe after all that time, she would have the nerve to show up without warning and demand to be part of Sicily’s life. She acted like she had some kind of claim to her because she gave birth. Being a parent was more than about giving birth. It was being there through everything and fighting for the time with your child. She was a selfish bitch who had run off at the first sign of distress, not caring the least bit about the wellbeing of her child.
I was so angry, so livid, that I didn’t even know what to do with myself. I turned back and walked into the living room, continuing to go through the papers. I needed to stay on track, blow off some steam, and clean the hell out of that place. That was exactly what I did, too. I went through every paper in the house, filed the ones I needed, and threw out the rest. I vacuumed, cleaned the bathroom, washed the laundry, and did everything else that normally got neglected, and all of it was done by the very early afternoon. I sped through that house like a madman, trying to get the anger inside of me out before Sicily got home. I didn’t want her to know anything about any of it, and I didn’t want her notice how to upset I was. She was really good at picking up on my emotional status because she knew me so well.
When I was done folding the last of the clothes and putting them away, I walked into the kitchen and made myself a sandwich. I grabbed a beer and went out on my balcony, needing to feel the cold air hit me hard. I plopped down at the table and set my plate down, feeling a little better about everything. At least at that point, I was calm enough to put my feet up and think without feeling nothing but rage. I looked out over the cityscape, watching the planes in the distance flying in and out of LaGuardia. I could faintly hear the honking of the horns below, and I tuned them out, trying to clear my mind.
Immediately, my thoughts went back to Emma, a place I was getting used to being. I thought about her wide eyes as she looked out the window at the night cityscape like she had never seen anything like that before. In reality, she probably hadn’t seen anything like that, especially growing up in such a small town like Camden, Maine. I had looked it up online and didn’t even realize places that small still existed in this country. I thought about how sweet she was, how she seemed like the kind of girl who would never make trouble for anyone, the kind who made everyone laugh with her wit and sarcasm. I thought about how gentle she was, how she spoke in soft tones and her eyes lit up when she thought of something exciting. I knew she would probably make an amazing mother to someone one day, if she wasn’t already.
I scoffed at myself, already knowing that answer. Something had happened that night when she walked out of my room, but I didn’t think for a second that Trevor was right by saying she probably was married with kids. She didn’t come off like the kind of person who would ever do that to someone, me or the person she might be married to. She seemed like the kind of person who would go out of her way to keep people from getting hurt. I sighed, taking a sip of my beer and thinking back to that night when everything in my world seemed to stop.
She had walked into that party with her fancy dress, he
r fancy shoes, and her happy friends, but I could tell right away she was different from anyone else in the room. There was something about the way she looked at everyone and everything around her. It was like she was seeing the world for the first time. I knew it was her talking to me before I ever looked over at her, and my heart had skipped in my chest as she chuckled sweetly at her own joke. When I was standing there in front of her, the building could have burned down around us and I would have never noticed. When she came back to the house with me, it was immediately comfortable like she belonged there. I rarely ever had a woman at my place, but I didn’t see any other option with Emma. I needed to have her with me, close, in my home, in my bed.
Ever since that night, she had consumed my mind. Everything I did, no matter how focused I was, she was there in the background taunting me, calling for me. It was nuts, absolutely crazy to me that after only one night and after her taking off like that, I couldn’t get her from my mind. I had never felt that way about any other woman in my entire life. No one had ever breached my head like she did. I knew I couldn’t keep going like that, keep wanting something but not knowing how to get her out of my mind. The answer was staring me right in the face, but I was scared of it, terrified even, especially after seeing Josie earlier.
The answer wasn’t deleting her from my memory, and it wasn’t moving on and hoping that one day she got out of my head. The answer was finding her, doing everything I could to make it happen and get her in front of me again. I wanted to know why she left, why she ran away without a word. I wanted to know if I lingered on her mind the same way that she did with me. If her answer was no, fine, but at least then, I could come home and start to move on from all this. I hated feeling like I was losing it all the time. My friends thought I was nuts, and I had to get ahold of the things in my life. Distraction wasn’t what I needed. I needed to know once and for all if there was any future with this girl. I was going to find her no matter how long it took and finally put it all to rest.
Chapter 12
One Month Later
Emma
It was Tuesday and one of the worst days of the week for me. It was job lineup day, the day we got all our projects in order and decided who was doing what. We had just finished closing out our lingering clients from February, even though it was pretty late in the month to be doing that. This day always stressed Greg out because he was never good at handling multiple things at one time, and when he looked at the list of projects, he would panic. It happened every time, so I knew to expect it, but it was still incredibly annoying to deal with. I just wanted to go home and go to sleep, which was weird because I wasn’t the naptime kind of girl.
March had come fast, and we were speeding through like a bullet train. All the orders were flowing into the place for the spring rush which was coming up very soon. We liked to get a head start on things so when we got into summer, we weren’t lagging behind. I knew this year was going to be especially crazy since the numbers showed that people were starting to open more lines of credit and spend more money than before. Even the private businesses were starting to see a break in the stagnancy of their economic structures. It was time for them to get on the ball and keep the trend moving upward. I understood this. It was something that really interested me, but Greg didn’t really capture the bigger picture, even though he himself was a small business owner. This was the perfect time for companies to do that too.
The spring rush was a time when all of the companies put out sales, knowing that the melting snow and the upcoming warmer temperatures would start driving consumers from their homes. They would want to go places, be outside, and do a little shopping in the meantime. We got orders from private parks, skate parks, fun centers, shopping malls, citywide events, and everything else you could possibly think of. The big chain stores had their own sales, too, that catered to whatever town they were in. Since we were the only graphic arts place in the whole town, everything came to us. It really was a blessing and a curse. We didn’t want to hire someone only for the season, and we couldn’t really afford to take on an extra employee in the winter months, so Greg and I buckled down and took care of everything on our own.
I had woken that morning with a blazing headache and pounded down some water, thinking I was getting dehydrated. I hoped I was going to be able to kick the pain in my skull because it was distracting me from the work I had to get done. On top of that, I had this ache in my lower back, the kind you get when you sleep too long or in the wrong position. I tried sleeping with different pillows in different ways and even slept on the couch one night, but that ache was still there. I had gone by the store the night before and looked for something to rub on it, but nothing fit the symptoms. It wasn’t like a pulled muscle. It was more of a stiffness that, over the course of the day, started to get sore and irritating. So, I just dealt with it, trying my best to get through the day.
I had four boxes of files on my desk and had pushed my chair out of the way, not able to sit any longer. I flipped through the files, trying to match the new orders with their client folders from prior seasons. Knowing what projects they’d okayed in the past helped us determine where to start during the current season. I pulled out the Hendrick’s Auto file and clipped it to their order, tossing it in the finished stack. I stood up tall and stretched my arms over my head, groaning as the tension in my back released for just a second. However, as I pulled my arms back down, I got lightheaded and grabbed the desk for support. Maybe I was working too hard, and I needed to take it easier. Yeah, right, like that was even an option. I looked up as Gillian walked through the door smiling.
“Hey.” I groaned. “I completely blanked that you were coming for lunch today.”
“Is it still okay?” she asked, glancing up at Greg on the phone pacing his office.
“It’s fine. Ignore him. He lives in a tank of anxiety and worry,” I said. “Pull up a chair. We’ll have an office picnic.”
“Nice,” she said, laughing. “God, your office is a mess.”
“Yeah.” I rubbed my back. “It’s right before the spring rush. We’re trying to get all the orders together so we can start banging them out early.”
“I forgot about that.” She set the bags on the table. “Last year, I remember coming in to find Greg having a panic attack because his printer went out.”
“Yeah, because he rolled over the cord and unplugged it from the wall.” I laughed, shaking the spins from my head again.
“Hey, are you okay? You look paler than normal.” Gillian’s eyebrows pulled closer together with her concerned expression.
“Yeah,” I said, brushing it off. “I have this headache and a stiff back. I’m sure it’s just stress.”
“And bending over those boxes all day long,” she said. “Why do you not have digital files?”
“Because Greg is old school.” I rolled my eyes.
“I’m sure it’s just stress,” Gillian said, watching my face. “Besides, I don’t remember you ever getting sick.”
“That’s because I never do,” I said, shifting in my chair. “I’ve been cold and flu-free since my freshman year of college. It would have been since middle school, but my roommate in college gave me the stomach flu from hell. I’m still mad at her for ruining my wellness streak.”
“You should get some vitamin C. It’ll help you keep a strong immune system,” Gillian said. “And I have some essential oils at home that you can put on your back. Just come by after work, and I’ll give them to you.”
“That would be phenomenal,” I said. “I couldn’t find anything that would help, so I’ve just been dealing with it.”
“How’s your home demolition project going?”
“Excellent,” I said, smiling. “I finally got everything of Alex’s boxed up and dropped off at the firehouse. The chief told me I could bring it there to avoid any confrontation. It seems he knows how big of an asshole Alex is, too.”
“Good,” Gillian said. “After he showed up at your house last month,
I was worried about you going over there.”
“I’m redoing the décor in the living room and my bedroom,” I said. “I needed a fresh look, something with no memories of him and me. I also wanted to rid the house of his evil spirit and bad juju. I do not need that lurking around when I’m trying to sleep at night.”
“Ha! You’re absolutely right. You do not need that bad crap floating around you anymore,” Gillian said. “Honestly, I’m glad to see you moving past all of that. I was worried about you, and I knew it took a huge toll on you. I want you to be happy.”
“Thank you, Gilli,” I said, smiling. “I want to be happy, too, and start fresh.”
“So.” She clapped her hands and pulled the bags up on the desk. “I got you your favorite. Italian. Mr. Procopio said to tell you hello and that you’re welcome anytime. He misses seeing you.”
“Yeah, I haven’t been in there in a while. It was kind of an Alex and me place,” I said. “I’ll stop in next week and get some tiramisu and show my face.”
“Good.” She smiled. “They have bangin’ tiramisu.”
I sat back in the chair rubbing my back with one hand and my forehead with the other. The pain seemed like it was pulsing in my temples and in my lower back. It was miserable. I watched as Gillian pulled out the takeout boxes and started to situate the food in front of us. At first, I thought the fact that my mouth wasn’t watering yet was because the headache had killed my appetite. It had done that the last two days to the point to where I didn’t even try to make anything. However, as she opened the boxes, the smell wafting up to my nose, I knew it was definitely something else.