Sky Lights

by Barclay Baker

  ‘All I’ve got is a clown outfit,’ said Shelley. ‘And I’ve got some great face paints. You might not recognise me. I’d better get home now. Tomorrow’s going to be a brill day.’

  And with that the children went their separate ways not realising that their exciting adventure was not yet over.

  Peter headed for Rose Street in down town Edinburgh, a narrow street running parallel between Princes Street and George Street and famous for its pubs. Keeping out of sight but flying close enough to be able to see the people staggering out of one pub and into another, Peter swooped from one end of the street to the other and back again. Nothing. ‘They must be inside one of these hostelries,’ he thought. ‘But which one?’ There were more than a dozen, and besides, Peter couldn’t risk going inside one. He began again at the beginning and about half way along he saw a familiar figure stumble out of a pub and head for a patch of waste ground round the back of the building. It was Noddler. He and Jukes had not long arrived and had spent the earlier part of the evening waiting on the castle ramparts. By luck the others had decided to go back to the castle before celebrating with a wee drink or two in the centre of the city and now the band of six plus Hook were reunited.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ said Peter.

  Noddler got quite a shock when he suddenly noticed Peter Pan standing next to him at the back of the pub. ‘I would have thought that was obvious,’ answered Noddler struggling with the buttons on his trousers.

  ‘I don’t mean right this minute. I mean, what are you, and the rest of the pirates, all doing here, in Edinburgh?’ said Peter.

  ‘We’re doing the Rose Street Challenge. MacStarkey told us about it. He used to do it every weekend before he was a pirate. You should try it….when you grow up!’ Noddler laughed at his own joke. ‘It’s good fun.’

  ‘I don’t mean that either,’ said Peter sharply. ‘I mean what’s all this business with the professor, and Hook? Why have you made another Hook?’

  It took Noddler only a minute or two to explain the whole plan to Peter, who by the end of the explanation had a huge grin on his face. ‘This I have to see,’ he said. ‘I can hardly wait.’

  ‘I’d best be getting back inside before the others miss me, or worse still don’t miss me but go on to the next pub without me,’ said Noddler. ‘I’ll see you back in Never Land, Peter. When are you heading home?’

  ‘Not before I see what you do to Hook. But soon after that,’ said Peter, patting the little pouch of fairy dust that hung from his belt. ‘See ya, Noddler.’ And with that Peter took to the skies.

  Next morning the pirates were less than fine, not being used to the beer served in Edinburgh. A night spent trying to sleep on the bare floor of an empty flat in a condemned tenement had not helped their hangovers.

  ‘Thundering typhoons, what’s wrong with ma head? It’s throbbin’ as if thon scurvy Indians in Never Land are beating their tom toms in ma brain,’ moaned MacStarkey.

  ‘It’s that larger drink,’ replied O’Mullins. ‘We’re no’ used to it, sure we’re no’.’

  ‘What larger drink are ye on aboot?’ asked MacStarkey. ‘We only drank pints o’ beer or nips o’ rum.’

  ‘Yon stuff in the can that we brought back. Look here’s an empty. See it says Larger Beer.’

  ‘Ye bletherin’ buzzard, O’Mullins. It says Lager Beer, no larger beer.’ MacStarkey shook his head in despair.

  Skylights took up where he had left off the day before, pretending to be best buddies with Hook. ‘Are you fighting fit, Captain? Stap me vitals, but you’re a fine looking man, if I do say so myself.’ Hook preened himself, teasing out his curls with the sea eagle talon. He got up and brushed down his scarlet jacket. He turned from side to side, swishing the crocodile tail this way and that. The other pirates jumped out of the way, but Noddler was too slow and the tail caught him behind his knees. He crashed onto the floor, grabbing at the table as he fell, but hampered by the backward facing hands, he slipped forwards on to his face. His chin hit the floor with a sickening crunch. Hook laughed heartlessly. ‘Got you, you spineless jellyfish.’

  Skylights gritted his teeth and held back from falling upon Hook that very instant. Jukes helped Noddler up and all the pirates exchanged murderous glances behind Hook’s back. It was so hard to keep up the pretence, but they steeled themselves in the knowledge that the cruel Hook would soon get his comeuppance.

  ‘In the name of Davey Jones, this is a fine tail,’ boasted Hook. ‘It’s like an extra weapon. Talking of which, what have ye scrawny dogs done with me cutlass and me pistols? How can ye mangy cockroaches expect yer captain to rule his crew with a rod of iron, without his weapons?’

  ‘We’ve been getting them all cleaned up and polished for you, Cap’n,’ improvised Fitzsmee, as quick as a flash.

  ‘Nothing but the best for you, Captain,’ grovelled O’Mullins.

  ‘Quite so, ye dim witted peasants,’ said Hook, placated for the moment.

  Skylights was quick to change the subject. ‘We’re going to walk down the Royal Mile from the castle, Cap’n. There’s a great atmosphere in Edinburgh in the Festive Season. There will be people in all kinds of fancy costumes. Anything goes here. I think it might be best if we disguise the fact that we’re pirates. The police are sure to be looking for us. That professor and his lassie will have given them a description.’

  ‘Ah kent this bag we nicked fae the theatre would come in handy,’ said MacStarkey. ‘Let’s see what’s inside.’

  ‘We can leave our own clothes on the ramparts ready for when we take off back to Never Land,’ suggested Skylights.

  They each rummaged through the bag until they found something they thought might fit. Before long there was a ghost, a superman, a wizard, an ugly sister, a tramp and the front end of a pantomime horse. Captain Hook refused to demean himself by dressing in anything other than the costume fit for the terror of the seven seas, in other words, a pirate captain, and no amount of persuading would change his mind.

  Each pirate had been primed to pick up his own weapons ready for the trip into Edinburgh’s historic quarter, leaving the harmless pantomime props for Hook. Skylights smiled at Hook’s gullibility, knowing he had now added an element of surprise. When the time came for the attack, Hook would find himself at a distinct disadvantage.

  The city of Edinburgh was a Christmas wonderland, with stunning street decorations and elaborate, cheerful window displays. The children stood in the department store gazing up at the huge Christmas tree. It rose from the floor, up through the middle of the building to very nearly touch the glass roof. Around the central core were balconies with wooden banisters, where shoppers of all ages leaned over to get a view of the tree from the different levels. It was a truly magnificent fir brought all the way from Norway and beautifully decorated with sparkling baubles, tinsel, crackers and lights, all in shades of gold. ‘Wow! It’s amazing!’ said Amy, her eyes bright with wonder.

  ‘It’s so big. I can’t fathom how they manage to decorate it,’ said Jack. ‘It’s a job for someone using fairy dust, that’s for sure.’

  ‘I love those glittery icicles, Mum. Could we have some for our tree?’ Amy leaned out over the railings.

  ‘I’ll see if I can get some later, but they may have sold out.’

  ‘Thanks! Oh, and look at the fairy on the top. It could be Tinker Bell.’

  The three of them stood spellbound till Beth glanced at her watch. ‘Come on then,’ she said. ‘We’ll be late for the skating.’

  She led them down the flight of white marble stairs and through the perfume department to the main entrance at street level. A smartly uniformed concierge held open the heavy glass door and wished them a Merry Christmas as they left the shop and stepped into Princes Street. A loud boom from the direction of the castle stopped everyone in their tracks. ‘Why do they fire that gun, Mum?’ asked Amy.

  ‘It’s so that people on the ships in the Firth of Forth and at Port of Leith can check the time. There’s a w
hite ball drops at the same time on Calton Hill every day too, but that’s not so well known as the one o’clock gun.’ They walked on down Princes Street to the next crossing. When the lights changed, Beth hurried them across the busy road and down the side of the Art Gallery to where a long flight of steps led into the east end of Princes Street Gardens.

  ‘There it is,’ cried Amy who had been looking forward to this all day. She pointed down into the gardens where a large area had been flooded and frozen over. ‘I’m so excited. I love skating.’

  ‘Careful on these slippery steps,’ reminded Beth. ‘We don’t want any accidents. Now look out for your dad. He’s going to meet us near the entrance.’ The three of them walked along towards the skating rink, with Edinburgh Castle silhouetted behind them, dark and foreboding on its sheer volcanic rock base. High on their left was the Scott Monument, flanked by the helter skelter and the big wheel which, along with the ice rink, were part of Edinburgh’s Winter Wonderland attractions. Although it was still afternoon, the bright lights of the fairground shone out and, with the sun behind the castle, the sky looked dark. As they approached they could see their father standing talking to a man and a teenage girl.

  ‘Look!’ shouted Jack. ‘It’s the professor and Wendy.’

  ‘Your dad thought it would be nice if they came too, since you were all getting on so well last night. We didn’t tell you in case they didn’t make it. We’d no idea how long they’d be kept at the police station, answering questions.’

  ‘That’s cool, and now here comes Shelley, with her mum and dad,’ said Jack.

  As they were about to enter the arena, two broad men in dark clothing appeared from nowhere and barred their way. Amy clung to her mother in fright. ‘Can you follow us please?’ The taller of the two men flashed a police officer’s badge and ushered them to the edge of the path. ‘We are conducting enquiries today and are on the lookout for young people dressed as pirates.’ He glared at Jack. ‘There’s been a lot of trouble over the past few days.’

  ‘Can you account for your whereabouts…..’ The second policeman began but was interrupted by Professor Dante and Jack’s father arriving on the scene.

  ‘What’s the matter, officers? Why are you questioning my son? He’s only a boy,’ said Doug.

  ‘We have orders to question all young people dressed as pirates in connection with car thefts and kidnappings,’ said the taller policeman.

  Professor Dante took his driving licence from his wallet. ‘Allow me to clear up this misunderstanding.’ He handed it over. ‘As you can see, I am the person involved in the kidnapping incident and I can vouch for this boy, Jack. I can assure you the pirates you are searching for are large and fierce and very dangerous. I appreciate your efforts, but in this case, you have the wrong suspect.’

  The police officers inspected his credentials and satisfied of his identity, handed them back. ‘Sorry to have troubled you, sir,’ apologised the officer. ‘Enjoy the rest of your day.’ With that the two police men set off down the path.

  ‘That was a near thing,’ said Jack to the professor. ‘Lucky you and Dad were nearby.’

  ‘I thought you were going to be arrested,’ said Amy, her face still white. ‘I was really worried for a minute.’

  ‘I’m glad they are still looking for the pirates, though,’ said Wendy. ‘They are up to no good, that lot.’

  Jack nodded in agreement but changed the subject. ‘Come on, it’s time to enjoy ourselves! Let’s go and get in the queue. Have you got our tickets, Dad?’ Doug produced the tickets that he had bought earlier that morning and soon the children were lining up to enter the skating arena, happily talking about the fancy dress costumes they had chosen. Wendy was dressed as her namesake in a long white nightgown with a sash of wide pink ribbon round the waist.

  Each of them had done a little skating in the past, and soon they were gliding round to the music blasting out from the loud speakers. They were home, they were safe and they were having fun with friends.

  After stowing their clothes and weapons behind the ramparts of the castle, the band of pirates flew silently down to Princes Street Gardens. Since Hook had not been covered in fairy dust, Skylights and MacStarkey each held an arm to support him in the air. ‘Take me to the helter skelter,’ demanded Hook, assuming he was in charge as he had always been. ‘I haven’t been on one of them since I was a child.’ The strange looking trio veered off towards the enormous structure while the attention of the other four pirates was caught by the music and laughter coming from the ice rink.

  ‘That looks like fun, so it does,’ said O’Mullins, dressed as half a horse. ‘I’m going to give it a try.’ He drifted on to the ice and tried to stand up, but immediately lost his balance, slipped and fell on to his ample bottom. Jukes helped him up, lifted him just off the ice, and whispered, ‘See, we can fly, so you don’t need to put your feet down.’

  People were soon noticing the band of pantomime characters performing all sorts of tricks so effortlessly. They flew round holding hands, pulled each other through their legs and did balancing acts that seemed impossible. Just when it seemed that every one was watching them, they jumped over the perimeter fence and made their way up to the carnival at the top of the hill. All the skaters clapped, thinking that they had just witnessed a professional display, put on for their entertainment.

  Jack had been particularly interested in this group. Was he the only one who had noticed that they weren’t wearing skates? He looked round to see where Amy and Shelley were. He spotted them at the barrier at the far side of the rink talking to their parents. Then he saw Wendy, skating round with Peter Pan. Jack squinted through the crowds. Was it the real Peter or someone in fancy dress? Suddenly Jack was afraid for his newfound cousin Wendy. He made his way through the crowd to where he had last seen her. By the time he got there he was too late. There was no sign of either Wendy or Peter.

  Meanwhile the performing pirates had met up with Skylights, Hook and MacStarkey just as they came to the bottom of the helter-skelter. ‘Right me lads,’ said Skylights. ‘Back to the ramparts.’ And he winked at the others, indicating that the time had come to carry out their plan.

  CHAPTER 19

  From Dust to Ashes

  ‘But I want to have another go on the…..’ began Hook. Skylights and MacStarkey each grabbed an arm before he could continue, and flew up to the castle ramparts with Hook protesting all the way. They judged the descent very precisely so that Hook ended up straddling Mons Meg with a thud.

  ‘Ouch,’ he cried. ‘That hurt! What do you think you’re doing? Ye mangy dogs, I’ll have you whipped, if you are not careful.’

  ‘Oops, sorry Cap’n, accident, too much to drink last night,’ mumbled Superman MacStarkey.

  ‘Well just be warned,’ barked Hook gruffly, climbing off the cannon and standing back to admire it.

  He rubbed his good hand up and down the largest cannon ever made which in its heyday could fire a cannon ball at a target 3 miles away. ‘Now this is what I call a cannon, me hearties,’ said Hook. ‘That was a pitiful effort at one o’ clock. I didn’t see it hit anything. Absolutely useless! It’s a shame this gun is so big. The weight of it would sink the Jolly Roger back in Never Land. All the same, how about giving it a try? Let’s get one of those old cannon balls over here and see if we can give these Edinburgh folk a shake. Maybe we could hit that tower.’ Hook pointed at the Scott Monument.

  Strutting about importantly, acting the pirate captain, he was still totally unaware of how much Skylights hated him, so well had the pirates deceived him. While Hook was lost in his thoughts about cannons and the Jolly Roger, Skylights quickly discarded his tramp outfit and dressed once more in his blue breeches, striped shirt and weathered leather waistcoat. The other pirates, with the exception of Jukes, did the same and changed into their comfortable but scruffy pirates’ garb.

  Turning his attention to Hook, Skylights replied, ‘Aye, aye, sir, we’ll see to it.’ The pirates retreated to a spot wh
ere piles of old cannonballs sat by the side of a cobbled path.

  ‘There’s no way we can lift one of these, sure we can’t,’ whispered O’Mullins, struggling to move one. ‘They’ve been stuck together with paint, so they have.’

  ‘Relax, O’Mullins. We know that. They are not meant to be used. They are only for show. We’ll pretend to put a cannon ball in, keep him happy, for just a few minutes longer, till we are ready,’ said Jukes.

  ‘I’m tired of waiting. Let’s get on with what we planned,’ said Skylights, under his breath.

  The pirates huddled over the cannon balls discussing the final details of their strategy while O’Mullins was sent to distract the gullible captain. Hook suspected nothing as O’Mullins, true to his character, asked question after question; the distance to the target, the weight of the balls, the mix of the powder and any other query, appropriate or not, that entered his head. The others made a show of pretending to lift one of the cannon balls while Skylights filled his empty pouch with earth and tied it up into a roundish shape. Returning to the great gun, Jukes, MacStarkey and Fitzsmee emptied the contents of their gunpowder pouches into the muzzle of the cannon. Skylights loaded his pouch of earth, rammed it all into the chamber then turned his attention to Hook.

  ‘Now then Captain Hook, how are you enjoying your last night in Edinburgh?’ he asked boldly.

  ‘My last night? Who said it is my last night? Don’t I make the decisions round here?’ snapped Hook.

  ‘Not any more,’ answered Skylights and on that signal, all six pirates drew their cutlasses and advanced menacingly towards Hook. He backed away until he was trapped against the rampart wall.

  ‘What’s this fellows? We are one crew, we are friends, fellow pirates,’ he said trying to placate them. ‘Split me infinitives, you are such good friends, you…you…you brought me back to life. Is this some kind of joke?’