Bernie tried to process what he’d said. “You gave our parents money for me and Dillard?”
“Yes,” Wilbur whispered.
Bernie closed his eyes and gulped. When he thought he could speak, he opened his eyes and looked at Wilbur’s worried gaze. He smiled softly.
“I know you did it for us. But Dillard left the year after you did. He didn’t even tell me he was going. He was just gone. I don’t know where he is.”
Wilbur’s face went determined. “We’ll find him. I’ll get my investigators on it.”
“Okay.” Bernie’s throat was tight.
“Do you still play the piano?” Wilbur sounded wistful.
“Not for a long time. You were always more into music than we were,” Bernie said.
“I’d like to hear you play the piano, and Dillard on the sax.”
“You on the guitar. Is that the same one?” Bernie pointed to the case.
“Yeah. I have lots of them, but this is still my favorite.” Wilbur patted the closed case.
Bernie smiled. He and Dillard had worked odd jobs and pooled their allowance for a year to get the guitar for Wilbur. Bernie could still remember his face when they had given it to him. The smile faded as other thoughts filled him, of their standing up to stop it from being destroyed. Bernie pushed the thoughts away.
“I’ve never heard of you. What music do you play?”
“Of course you haven’t. I bet you still only listen to classical.” Wilbur smirked.
“I’ll have you know I’ve heard live music. There’s this restaurant, Bacchus Sloan, that has various bands. And they have concerts in the park.”
“What were the names of some of the songs?” Wilbur still had the smirk.
“I don’t know. But it was good. So, what’s your kind of music?” Bernie butted his shoulder against Wilbur’s.
“Ever heard of TrebleBur?”
“No. Isn’t Bur your name now?” Bernie asked.
“Yeah, I go by that. TrebleBur was the name of my band. I’m retired.”
“At twenty-four?” Bernie asked in shock.
“Yeah. Not touring or performing that much anymore. Still write music now and then.” Wilbur shrugged.
“I’m glad you followed your dream into music.”
“I want you to sign the papers and take the money.”
“I don’t need the money. Hell, I don’t even know what to do with that kind of money.” Bernie shook his head.
“My financial advisors are ready to help you make more money. Take this from me, please. I couldn’t be there to take—”
Bernie cut him off. “It wasn’t for you to take.”
“I know. But with me and Dillard gone, it was just you with them.”
“It wasn’t so bad.” Bernie shrugged.
Wilbur gave him a look that said he didn’t believe him.
“It could have been better,” Bernie admitted.
“I know. Sign the paper for me,” Wilbur pleaded.
“You don’t need to give me your wealth out of guilt.”
Wilbur laughed, saying, “This isn’t even a drop in the bucket of my net worth. I’m not being self-sacrificing and giving it all to you. It is as I said. You were the first investor in Bur. So take the money and kiss me good night, and go snuggle with your man. I need to get to my hotel.”
Bernie frowned, chewing on his lip. Wilbur held out a pen, waving it in his face. Bur’s face had the same obstinate one from their childhood.
“If I don’t sign, what are you going to do?”
“Put it in a trust for you until you do,” Wilbur said.
“Stubborn prick.”
“Bullheaded ass,” Wilbur countered.
Bernie chuckled. “Fine. Give me that.” He signed the papers and shoved them at him.
“Good. A portion will be deposited to your account, and the rest, the financial advisors will invest. They’ll contact you.” Wilbur put the papers into his pocket and stood.
Bernie stood with him. “How long are you going to be in town?” He didn’t want to lose touch with him.
“Until my house is built.” Wilbur’s lips curved in a wicked twist.
“In England?”
“Nope, in Mapson. Bought a nice piece of ranch land. Having it renovated and a new house built. Getting a few horses. If you can’t ride, I can teach you.” Wilbur was matter-of-fact.
“You’re staying in Mapson?”
“Yes, I am. I want us to be brothers again, and to find Dillard so we can be the triumvirate again.” Wilbur put his hand over his heart on his tattoo.
Bernie put his hand over Wilbur’s. He shifted his hold and pulled Wilbur into his body.
“I’m not losing my brother again.” Wilbur hugged him fiercely.
Bernie cleared his throat. “And you’re not staying in a hotel. You’ll stay with me.”
“Will your partner be okay with that?” Wilbur asked.
“This is my condo. Well, I am renting it, sort of, from my friend Robert. You’ll meet him.”
“You can just buy it from him now. Hell, buy a bigger place,” Wilbur pointed out.
Bernie blinked, realizing he was right. He shook his head. “Not thinking of that now. Let me process all this change first. Where is your stuff?”
“At the hotel. I can go get it in the morning, if you’re sure you want me to stay.”
“I am. Let me show you the room.” Bernie led him to the other side of the living room and down the hall.
He passed his lab and opened the spare room. Turning, he pulled some linens out of the closet and went to make the bed. Wilbur helped. Once done, they stood.
“Was that a lab I saw? In the report, they said you were still into science.” Wilbur watched him.
“Yeah. Enjoy doing it.” Bernie shrugged.
“You pursued your passion too. I wonder if Dillard did?”
“We’ll find him.” Bernie patted him on the shoulder.
“Do you think he’s dead? Maybe that’s why there’s no trace of him.” Wilbur gripped Bernie’s hand, leaning his head on his chest.
Bernie cupped the back of his head. “We would have felt it. No matter what, we’ll find him.”
“Okay.” Wilbur nodded and stepped back.
“Do you need some clothes to sleep in?”
“Nah.” Wilbur’s lip lifted in a half smile.
“Okay. I’ll give you something to wear in the morning,” Bernie said, turning to the door.
“I missed you, Bernard. I’m glad I came,” Wilbur said.
Bernie paused in the doorway and looked back at his brother. He stood slightly hunched, his arm around his waist.
“Missed you, Wilbur. Welcome home, brother,” Bernie said.
“Thanks. ’Night.”
“’Night,” Bernie replied.
He closed the door and hurried down the hall into the living room, then rushed to the kitchen and onto the back patio. Gripping the rail, he inhaled deeply, fighting nausea.
They took money to take care of me.
The thought vibrated in his head.
“No wonder they moved us to a bigger house,” Bernie whispered.
He remembered not too long after Wilbur left, they had moved. The house was bigger, but they had given him the smallest room off the kitchen. It was a maid’s quarters. The bigger house hadn’t meant anything. Just more things to taunt him with. Swallowing thickly, he closed his eyes. A hand touched his back. Startled, he jumped, then relaxed as he recognized Tomas’s scent. Turning, he buried his face against Tomas. Tomas held him. Bernie shuddered, swallowing again.
“Come to bed, Bernie,” Tomas said.
“How’d you know I was out here?”
“Your brother knocked on the bedroom door and told me he was moving in. And that you needed me.” Tomas sounded disgruntled.
“Interfering little shit,” Bernie said wearily.
“You’re tired. Come to bed.”
“Not yet. I can’t… won’t… bring th
em into our bed. I need to tell you why I’m so leery around your parents.” Bernie swallowed.
“You don’t have to do this tonight,” Tomas insisted.
“I want to get this out now. I should have told you before.”
“Whatever you think is best. But I think it can wait,” Tomas grumbled.
Bernie was grateful for his attitude. It stabilized him. The one thing he could count on was Tomas. Shocked, Bernie drew back and stared at him. Tomas frowned.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“No reason at all.” Bernie smiled widely.
Tomas was leery. “I’m not sure if I like that smile.”
“It will be all good.” Bernie replied. He took a breath, then started. “I’ve noticed that you are close to your family. Your parents would do anything to protect you, wouldn’t they?”
“Yes. Family is important.” That unshakable surety was in his tone.
Bernie pulled away from him and looked out at the backyard. “Not how we grew up. In our house, it was all about my parents. From the time I was able to understand, I was taught my place. We all were taught our place. That we were there at the benevolence of our parents, and we better never forget it. Which we never did. Not that it mattered.”
“You all were abused.” It wasn’t a question.
“That seems such a pretty word for what they did to us. Dad was quick with his fist. He’d punch you so quick that the pain wouldn’t register until he left the room. Him, I could deal with. It was just vicious. It was her that I feared. She’d feed you and cuddle you, speaking so kindly. Then she’d turn on you. She liked to throw things. I used to be good at ducking what she threw. But even that, she would blame you if you moved. Blame you for making her break whatever. Vase, chairs, knives, shoes, appliances. She’d justify it to Dad, and then he’d punish you for it. A broken finger here, shattered legs, wrenched shoulder. It didn’t matter. They just wanted to inflict pain.” Bernie bit his lip.
Tomas touched his back. He flinched. Tomas withdrew. Bernie turned and caught his arm.
“Sorry. You just startled me.” He clutched Tomas’s hand, pulling him in to him.
Tomas hugged him fiercely. “Didn’t you tell someone?”
“Olivia tried to tell once. She was our protector—the main punching bag. The teacher mentioned it laughingly to them that Olivia was making up tales. She had no idea what she had done. I felt it with them squeezing my hand. I feared for Olivia, but was too little to do anything. When we got home… God, I thought they would kill Olivia for it. It’s amazing how much blood a body can lose and survive. After that, we didn’t dare breathe a word. We’d learned the lesson not to. They were good at putting on a face of being attentive parents. And we were just a set of kids.”
“Olivia?”
“My sister,” he said dully.
“You have a sister too?”
“Had a sister. When she was eight and we were four, they left with her and she never came back. They told us she was dead because she had been a bad girl. After that, I became the main punching bag for a while. I was glad for it. They left Wilbur and Dillard alone.” Bernie sighed.
Tomas stroked his back. “That’s enough.”
“No. I need to get it all out.” Bernie shook his head.
Tomas’s voice was hoarse. “I don’t know if I can bear it, but go ahead.”
“They left them alone for a while. After a bit, it just became a routine. Get dressed, punch, brush teeth, slap, eat breakfast, lamp thrown. I guess I had stopped reacting enough for them. They turned on Wilbur and Dillard. It was sickening, watching them get abused. For some reason, they seemed to take special joy in tormenting Wilbur. He took it for years. But something happened when we turned fifteen. I still remember when Wilbur came to me, so desperate to leave. He wouldn’t tell me why. Dillard knew. I could see he did, but neither of them would tell me why. We helped him escape. God, they went crazy. Locked us away in the basement for three months, giving us barely any food or water. They gave us just enough to make sure we didn’t die.”
“How could they do that and no one know?” Tomas cried.
“It was summer. No one was looking for us. They just said we were away for the summer. When I went back to school, I was so thin. But no one really paid it any mind. I was always a gangly kid, anyway. Dillard stuck it out almost a year, and then he was gone. He said nothing, and I feared they had taken him like they had Olivia. But when they didn’t seem to know where he was, I felt hope that he had escaped.” Bernie smiled bitterly.
“Why didn’t you leave too? God, Bernie.” Tomas sounded shaken.
“I didn’t dare. They would have gone after them. Found them. They told me to stay or they would. I had to protect my brothers. I did such a bad job of it. I could at least do this. I wanted to do that for them. Let them be free.” Bernie’s voice lowered. “I was glad Wilbur and Dillard had gone. It was easier to take a beating than see them do it. God, I wanted them gone. What kind of man am I that I was glad to see them go? What kind of man am I that I couldn’t protect them in the first place?” he cried.
Tomas gripped him. “A good one. One who gave himself up for his brothers.”
Bernie wrenched away. “You don’t understand. It wasn’t some self-sacrifice. It was survival. Mine. With them gone, maybe I could sleep without worrying they would come in and take them. With them gone, all I had to worry about was myself. God, I didn’t even care where they were… if they were running into something worse.”
Tomas grabbed his hands. “You were a child, Bernie. There was nothing you could do.”
“I was never a child in that house. I was always the oldest brother. Supposed to be the protector.” He laughed bitterly, then asked, “But how do you protect your brothers from their own parents?”
“Exactly. You did what you had to. I’m just glad you got out,” Tomas said.
“Coming to Mapson to school was a blessing. They didn’t ever expect I would leave. Thank God I was smart. I hid and applied for scholarships. When I got one, I told them. It was my last defiance. Telling them ‘fuck you’. But I wasn’t fast enough. Dad and she were like animals. I blacked out. Woke up on the side of the road. Had to drag myself out of a ditch. By some miracle, they had decided to drive cross-country and dropped me in a ditch in Mapson. A Good Samaritan stopped and took me to the hospital. I told the cops I was jumped and didn’t know by whom. They called my folks, and they came to be by my bedside. I knew it was because they couldn’t believe I was alive. I made sure to make it clear they should never contact me again, or I would kill them. They even stated I should come home because my brothers needed me, but they had already been gone for years.” Bernie paused.
Tomas squeezed his hand. Taking a shuddering breath, Bernie spoke again.
“Of course, they didn’t believe me, at least not until I cut Dad with the scalpel I had swiped. Then they believed me. And left. Haven’t seen them again. I just wanted to forget about them. I convinced the admissions board at Mapson University that I could do the classwork from my hospital bed and then home as I convalesced. I made arrangements to rent this little dinky room so I had someplace to go after the hospital. That became my temporary new home. Once I was able to, I went to actual classes. Being in college made me realize how free I was. God, that freedom was so addictive.”
“You are free, Bernie. They can’t hurt you,” Tomas assured him.
“You don’t understand. I still let them hurt me. Talking with Wilbur made me realize that I’ve been clinging to college, since it’s the first place I ever felt free.” Bernie shook him off.
Turning, he gripped the rail. Tomas pressed against his back, putting his arms around his waist.
“I don’t know what you mean, Bernie. I know you have another two years of grad study, and then school is done. That’s not clinging. That’s getting your education.”
Bernie sighed. “I could be done already. Should have been done a long time ago.”
; “What do you mean?”
Bernie turned in his arms. He glanced up at Tomas’s warm brown eyes. He hunched, lowering his eyes.
“I’ve hidden from the school and everyone else that I have an eidetic memory. The schoolwork comes easily to me. I’m bored with it. I’ve read all the books in the university library and remember them all.”
“You what?” Tomas asked.
“I have a photographic memory, Tomas. And although I’ve never been tested, I suspect that I probably have a high IQ.”
“Why’d you hide what you can do?” Tomas asked calmly.
“Because I’m a freak.”
“Yeah, you are,” Tomas replied without hesitation.
Bernie raised his eyes in shock.
“You’re my freak. And I’m keeping you, no matter if you are a supersmart geek. Geeks are sexy.” Tomas smiled playfully.
“I’m not sexy,” Bernie said in exasperation.
“Yeah, you are. But that’s a discussion for another time. Back to what you said. If you’re bored with school, then finish it and do what you want to do. There’s nothing stopping you from that. I’ll help you wherever you need it.” Tomas shrugged.
“I don’t know what I want to do,” Bernie admitted.
“What is your deepest dream? If you could do anything, what is the one thing that you would do above all else?”
“Help people so they don’t have to go through what I did,” Bernie said.
“Then find a way to do that. You can do anything you want. I believe in you.” Tomas squeezed Bernie’s waist.
“Thank you for your faith, for believing in me.” Bernie leaned against his body.
Something in Common (Dreamspinner Press Bundles) Page 24