“Was she as outspoken then as she is now?” Harper chuckled.
“Yes, she was, and even if I would not admit it then, I loved matching wits with her. So there I was, in the dark, and she came to me. She sat by me and asked me in her blunt way what was wrong. I don’t know why, but I blurted out that I’d had sex for the first time. She was assuring me it was normal for teenagers to try things out. Then I blurted out I was gay, and always knew I was, but I was dirty and didn’t deserve to feel good. And then she said something that would stick with me forever.” Del rubbed the bracelet. “Clarita stared me straight in my eyes and said, ‘So what if you’re gay? That doesn’t make you dirty or not worthy of feeling good. There is so much other shit in this world that you will go through. Being true to who you are is the easy thing. I know I won’t have to worry about you hiding or trying to conform to anyone else’s expectation. Del, you’re going to be just fine.’ She patted my hand and took the knife I was holding.”
“You were going to hurt yourself?” Harper gripped his hand.
“No. I had been eating an apple. But Clarita didn’t know that and thought I was. When I realized what she thought, I let her know I would not be offing myself. I would not let them win. She didn’t even ask me who ‘they’ were. She left. And you know, I did feel better. The next morning, Jerrod and Sheldon had a talk with me about being gay, and although I knew they were, too, I was angry that she had told them. Then, when they took me to the therapist, boy, was I even more pissed. I didn’t tell them anything, and when I got back to Jerrod’s, I went looking for Clarita and cursed her out. She sat there, calm as you please, as I raged at her. Then, when I was done, she handed me this.” He touched the bracelet. “Told me to wear it, and when I was feeling out of sorts, use it to clear my mind. Then firmly told me I would keep going to therapy, and she would take me whenever I went. When she uses a certain tone, you can’t tell her no. Clarita wouldn’t tell me what the writing was. Told me to find it myself. I took the bracelet.” He shook his head. “It took me a year to track down the symbols and their meaning. It’s a mix of various ancient texts. It states, ‘The only things capable of hurting you are those that you let do it. Instead of being a bystander in your own life, make your own path and conquer all that tries to bring you down’.”
“That is a powerful saying.”
“It is, and over the years, it has become a habit for me to touch it.” Del looked at his wrist, then their hands. “You were right, you know. Clarita is like a mother to me. I didn’t want to think of her that way, because… well… of my own. When I left Jerrod’s household, I offered her a position to come with me, which she accepted. She can read my moods so well.” Del glanced at Harper. “All these years, I’ve kept her at a distance, yet she has been here. Until you pointed it out, I didn’t even realize I did it. Thanks for being you, Harper, and for being here for me.” Del yawned. “This has been a long day. And with the boys coming back tomorrow….” He trailed off, thinking about them.
Rey and Dar were very inquisitive and would know something was wrong.
“We don’t have to get them. I can ask Gerald and Bur to keep them,” Harper suggested.
Del thought about it and nodded. “Please do ask them.”
“I’ll call them right now.” Harper stood.
Del held his hand. “I love you, Harper.”
“Love you too.” Harper squeezed his hand.
He released him. Harper left the room. Del glanced at the phone by the beside, then moved back onto the bed, turning on his side.
“Del, they’ll watch the boys until we tell them otherwise.” The bed dipped. “What else can I do?”
“Nothing.” Del closed his eyes.
Harper was silent, then he hugged Del, pulling him back against him. Del covered Harper’s hands over his chest. He listened to Harper breathe, and knew when he fell asleep. Gently, he moved out of his arms and slid out of the bed. He put on his robe and left the bedroom. Moments later, he opened the sliding door onto the back patio and walked to the water behind the house. Del sat on the bank of his private lake, staring at the oasis. He turned his head toward the house and spotted Harper, also in a robe, by the open door. Del lifted his hand, and Harper came to him. He sat behind him. Del touched his leg that was by him and returned to staring at the water.
Chapter Eight
DEL STRETCHED, then stood from what had become his spot by the lake. He glanced once more, then strode across the yard and into the house. Del walked through the kitchen, then went down the hall by the staircase. He stopped in the doorway of the sitting room and leaned against the doorjamb, studying Harper, sitting in a chair facing the window. There was a perfect view of where he had been sitting by the lake. Harper looked up from the book he was reading and out the glass. He started to stand.
“Sit. I’m right here.” Del approached him and sat on the armrest beside him.
Harper put a bookmark in his book and placed it on the table by his side. He turned sideways to face Del, touching his knee. The concern on his face was plain. Del leaned over and kissed him gently. Harper cupped his cheek, stroking along his ear. Del withdrew, studying him.
“You need to go back to the store, Harper.”
“We’ve already discussed this. Ke—”
“I know Kenton is handling things, but it’s been over a week, Harper. I don’t need you to watch me. I’m going to be fine.”
“I know you are. I’m just taking a vacation.” Harper smiled.
“Harper.” Del stood, pulling him out of the chair, then sat, bringing Harper into his lap. Del grabbed the back of his head and brought his forehead against his.
“No fair,” Harper said.
“It’s time for a serious discussion.” Del stared into his gaze. “I love having you here with me. For the last nine days, you’ve been by my side, even if I haven’t been saying much. Your just being here with my silences helped me so much. But we’re going to get back to normal. Bur and Gerald are bringing the boys home.” Del smiled. “I miss them. Their laughter and running everywhere… even all the questions.”
“You’ve talked to them every day,” Harper said.
“Yes. We both have, and even with the fun they are having with Bur and Gerald at their big old house in Westlake, they keep asking when they will come home. It’s time they do.” Del paused. “When they bring them, I asked Clay to take them out somewhere. And I’ve asked Bernie and Tomas over too. I’m going to tell them.”
“Are you sure you don’t need more time?”
“No. It’s time for them to know everything. Tomas and Gerald will need to be here for them. And I need you there for me,” Del said.
“Of course I’ll be there.” Harper leaned against his chest.
“I know you will be. Then, after tomorrow, I want us to get back to going about our lives. I want our family back all under one roof. Harper, I want you to think about moving in with us here at my house.”
Harper stiffened. “I—”
“No. Don’t answer now. Think about it. Think about it as long as you need to. I know you made a life for you and Karl in your house. I would be willing to live there with you, but it isn’t enough space for us, the boys, Clarita, and Clay.” Del held him. “I don’t want you to sell the house. Keep it. But I would love for you to move in here.” Del gestured around the room. “We can convert this to your man cave. It’s bigger than the one you have now. We can get more furniture for this room to fix it up, and even paint it. I’ll even help paint and put up the furniture. The room on the other side of the living room is bigger than this one, and we can build a library there for us to fit your books and mine. We’ll clearly mark the bookcases to make sure your friends know which books they can or cannot take.”
“You’ve been planning about me moving in.” Harper bit his lip.
“Yes. I’ve been thinking about a lot of things. But you think about it.” Del kissed him briefly.
Harper nodded, and he shifted in Del’s
lap, straddling him. “I’ll think about it. I don’t know if….” He didn’t finish the statement.
“There’s no rush. We’ll keep doing as we have been. Oh, the boys were excited about tomorrow being July first, since we promised starting that month, we would be having lots of activities. We don’t want to disappoint the boys.”
“They want to go to the zoo to see sharks. I want to see the tigers.”
“Of course. And just so you know, I’m planning to get help to face what happened.” Del sighed. “I’m not going to avoid it. I know I’ll need someone to talk to, but I don’t want to see a therapist again. Well, not in an official capacity.”
“I’m glad you’re going to talk with someone. Who—”
“Del, your guest is here,” Clarita said.
Del glanced at her and the man who came in with her.
“Good choice. I’ll leave you two alone,” Harper said.
He kissed him, then stood, nodded at the man, and left the room with Clarita. Del rose as his guest came toward him.
“Theron, thanks for coming by,” Del said.
“Of course I came. You called saying you needed help. Friends help each other. Although you might not see any of us as that. But we claimed you, and you’re not getting away. Hell, you kind of grow on people, even if you have this thing about people in your house. You really need therapy to get over it,” he teased.
“I do need someone who has a therapy background to talk to, but not about that,” Del said.
Theron sobered. “I can recommend someone.”
“No. I did therapy before. This time, I need someone who can listen, but do so as a friend.”
Theron studied him.
“I know that you usually work with kids.”
“That’s not the problem. I can’t be detached enough, Del. I really do see you as a friend. I can listen, and it will be only between us. But if you want my thoughts about something, then I’ll tell you my opinion as a friend and not a therapist.” Theron sat on the edge of the couch, putting his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together between his open thighs.
“That’s what I want.”
“Then I can do that.” He opened his hands, gesturing. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“You know about the abuse my parents did to all of us.” Del rose and sat beside him on the couch, turning sideways.
Theron did the same before replying. “Yes.” He paused, then said, “The fuckers.”
Although he could see the knowledge on his face, Del looked at him and said it. “They molested me. It started before I was even old enough to know what they were doing.”
“Wait. Before you continue, I have to say this.” Theron gripped Del’s hand. “It’s not your fault.”
“I know it isn’t. But until recently, I’d never told anyone, until Harper got it out of me.” Del smiled.
“He’s good for you, and you’re good for him.” Theron sat back.
Del leaned by him and told him of what happened when he was a child.
HARPER WANDERED the house, his thoughts on Del with Theron. It had been a rough nine days, and Del had been quiet. All he could do was be here for him and hug him when he needed it.
He asked you to move in with him. They had only just admitted they loved each other, that they were even in a relationship. So many changes in a short space of time, and now Del wanted him at his house permanently. Harper crossed his arms over his chest, entering their bedroom. He stopped in the doorway, taking in the neatly made bed. Next to it, where he slept, was a pile of books. Del didn’t have a bookcase in his bedroom. Harper went to the chair, picked up his, then Del’s robe on the chair, then put them back. He went to the bed and flopped down on Del’s side of it. Curling on his side, he rubbed his cheek on the pillow. He’d have to think a long time about Del’s offer. He’d never expected to ever find another man he could love. Even when he’d admitted it to Del, he’d never thought of what would come next.
“Harper.” Del rubbed his shoulder.
Harper blinked, not sure when he had fallen asleep. He rolled onto his back, looking up at Del. “What time is it?”
“After six thirty. Sorry. I lost track of time talking to Theron.”
“You don’t need to apologize for that.” Harper knuckled his eyes. “I can’t believe I’ve been asleep for five hours.”
“You needed it. I do too. We haven’t been sleeping much.”
“Hmmm… I’m awake now. But come lie down, and I’ll keep you company. I can read while you sleep.” Harper stretched, wiggling his toes.
Del looked along his frame, then back to his face. “Do you remember that first night when you asked me what you could do?”
“Yes.” He sat up, touching Del’s thigh. “What can I do?”
“When we make love, don’t treat me like I’m broken.”
“I haven’t been treating you any way but as Del, the man I fell in love with.” Harper frowned. They hadn’t done anything but kiss and hug in the last nine days. “I wasn’t planning to do anything different when we have sex. Yo—”
Del cut him off, kissing him, pushing him back against the bed. Harper spread his thighs, rocking against him. Del sat up, kneeling between his legs. He undressed Harper, throwing his sweatpants and T-shirt off the bed before removing his own and doing the same. Harper pulled open the nightstand drawer, taking out the lube and condom, then handed them to Del. Del accepted the items, kissing him fiercely, then readied him before smoothing on the condom, coating it with slick.
He lined up and pushed in. Harper closed his eyes, moaning as Del slid inside.
“Look at me.”
Harper opened his lids at Del’s demand. Del braced his elbows on the bed next to Harper’s head, closing his lips over his as he stroked slowly. Harper moved his tongue along Del’s as they rocked together. At each motion, Harper moaned, sucking stronger on his tongue. He clenched as Del pumped in and out. Rolling his hips, Harper countered his thrust.
“Del,” he whimpered.
With each forward motion, his erection pinned between them was being stimulated. Del pressed more firmly, enhancing the friction. Harper arched, moving, his sac tight and the tip of his cock throbbing.
“I love you,” Del groaned, shuddering.
Harper stiffened, coming at the same time. Del slumped, resting his head in the crook of Harper’s neck.
Holding him, Harper yawned, then laughed. “I’m sleepy again.”
“Me too.” Del rolled off him, disposed of the protection, then resettled by his side. “After tomorrow, you’re going back to the store, and I’m going to help my brothers with the centers.”
“Okay.” Harper closed his eyes.
THE NEXT day, Harper sat beside Del watching Bur, Gerald, Bernie, and Tomas sitting on the couches adjacent to theirs.
“Thanks for taking care of the stuff with the center whi—”
“Don’t be an asshole. We don’t give a shit about that. Tell us what’s going on.” Bur leaned forward.
Del glanced at Harper, who gave him a smile in support. Del returned his attention to the men on the couches.
“I never told you about all Mom and Dad did to me.” Del cleared his throat, then spoke again. “They molested me.”
“What?” Bernie stood abruptly.
“That’s why you reacted the way you did when you found us,” Bur said.
Bernie looked between Bur and Del. “Found you what? Is this about why you left?” Bernie grabbed his own hair, yanking it. “What didn’t you all tell me?”
“They molested me,” Del said again.
Bernie lowered his hands, his expression devastated.
“Me too,” Bur added.
Harper stared at him, shocked. From Gerald’s lack of response, Harper could see he had known. Tomas was surprised, rubbing Bernie’s back. Bernie shrugged him off.
“Damn you.” Bernie strode toward Del, then turned to glance at Bur. “Fuck you both. Why did neither of you tell me?” B
ernie stared at Bur. “This is why you all came to me so frantic for you to leave.”
“Yes. We couldn’t tell you, Bernie.” Bur stood and moved toward him.
“You fucking could have. Maybe not then, but recently. You all still kept it from me.” Bernie backed away.
Del stood and went to him. Bernie moved back from them both.
Bur and Del exchanged glances, looking unsure of what to do.
“Del didn’t tell me about what happened to him. You asshole.” Bur shoved Del.
“I gave you the money I was saving to leave so you could get away,” Del admitted.
“That was your money?” Bur glared at him, then said, “Thanks for giving it to me.”
“Why did you leave almost a year after Bur?” Bernie demanded.
“They were getting more… when Bur left, they touched me even more. I left because I knew they were going to rape me. Don’t hate me, Bernie,” Del said.
“Dumbass. I don’t hate you.” Bernie closed the distance between them and hugged him, then Bur. “Neither of you. But I am mad at you.” He placed his hand at the back of each of their necks, then looked at Tomas, Gerald, and Harper. “We need some time alone.”
They stood. Tomas hugged Bernie, and Gerald kissed Bur. Harper touched Del on the back, and they left the brothers alone. Harper led Tomas and Gerald down the hall to the living room. He sat on the couch with the other two men. They exchanged looks. Harper could see the concern in the others’ gaze that he was sure was mirrored in his.
Something in Common (Dreamspinner Press Bundles) Page 60