“A he. His name is Cuda. How’d you know what breed he is?” Alex started to unpack the items Leslie had sent.
He put down the pad on the floor by the couch, then set the dishes for water and food on it before placing the toys from the bag next to it. Alex realized Dustin hadn’t answered him. He turned to him and saw he was sitting on the chair, petting Cuda with a big grin on his face.
“What?”
“Just watching you make sure Leslie’s dog is made to feel comfortable.” Dustin bit his lip.
“I didn’t say it was Leslie’s.” Alex glared.
“True, but by process of elimination, I figure it’s him. The other people I know who might be able to convince you to bring a dog to work don’t have a Borzoi.”
“No laughing at me.” Alex swiped at Dustin’s head as he passed. “I brought him so he could have a better hiding spot than under Leslie’s desk.”
“Why would he be hiding under his desk?”
“From his sister. She’s a breeder and does shows with her dogs, as well as Cuda. She and Leslie have this thing they do.”
“If they have something they do, how will that work with Cuda here?” Dustin outright laughed.
“I don’t know. Cuda asked to come here, and I brought him.” Alex sat at his desk and booted up his computer. “Don’t you have any work to do?”
“My morning meeting canceled.”
“I’m sure you can find something to do in your own office,” Alex suggested.
“I’m going. I’m going. Can I get an intro to Leslie’s sister? I’m thinking of getting another Borzoi.”
“I didn’t know you had a dog.”
“I did. She died a year ago.” Dustin petted Cuda and stood.
“I’m sorry.”
“Death sucks.” Dustin left.
Indeed it does. It also devastates your life and makes you question ever putting yourself out there.
The phone rang, interrupting his thoughts. Alex focused on work and picked up his line.
DAYS LATER, Alex rolled his shoulders as he put away his papers. The class he was teaching at the center two days a week was fun, but with work, it made for long days.
“Well, well. I haven’t seen you in a long time,” a modulated voice said.
“I’m not the one who canceled our last get-together.” Alex smiled at Nicolas Rodriguez, picking up his messenger bag and moving toward the door.
“That was in June, and I’ve been busy at work. But you usually drag me out at least once a month. I’ve come to depend on you being bossy and getting me to relax.” Nicolas matched his stride as they headed down the hall.
Alex realized he was right. He hadn’t even realized he hadn’t seen Nicolas in months. The last time was in May, for their monthly get-together. He remembered Nicolas had mentioned things were even more hectic because they had lost more staff in their department.
“You’re absolutely right, Nicky. How about we go out for a drink? I’ll check with Leslie to see if he wants to come with us.”
“Sure.”
“He’s teaching a class here tonight.” Alex headed in the direction of his classroom. “What are you doing here?”
“Being attacker number two in Miguel’s self-defense course.” Nicolas rubbed his shoulder. “Once they got over their reserve, they got into it.”
Alex nodded, then entered the garage setup used for the class. Leslie and Terry, with the class, were around the vehicle they were fixing up. Alex glanced at his watch and noted the time. As usual, Leslie’s class was running overtime.
“Leslie drove tonight. I’ll get a ride with you to Destinations.” It was their usual hangout spot. “Give me a sec while I tell Leslie where I’m going.”
He went over and called his name. Leslie glanced up, then straightened and came to him. He waved at Nicky, then focused on Alex.
“I’m going out for drinks with Nicky. We’ll be at Destinations if you want to join us.” Alex hitched the strap of his bag higher on his shoulder.
“Sounds like a plan. I’m going to have a celebratory drink. Tomorrow, Burns picks up his car, and then there will be peace. I’ll meet you all there. Give me your bag. I’ll put it in my truck.” Leslie accepted the bag, then touched his arm before returning to the class.
Alex stared at him as he joked with one of the students. Leslie had been counting the days to September eighteenth, when Burns came to get his restoration project. Alex turned away and joined Nicky. They caught up as they made the trip to Destinations. At the bar, they chose to sit in a booth and were quickly served.
Nicky turned his glass on the table, studying him. Alex didn’t say anything, knowing it was his way. He fiddled with whatever was accessible when he had something important to say. Alex sipped his gin and tonic as Nicky continued to move his mug of beer.
“You’re still going to Rhode Island.” Nicolas tapped the side of his glass with a finger.
It was another telling movement. Alex didn’t say anything, since it wasn’t actually a question. He drank again, waiting for Nicky to continue.
“I thought you had given up on finding your friend.”
“Yes.” Alex didn’t expand further.
Nicolas was referring to their conversation a few months ago, when Alex had admitted having lost touch with a friend in Rhode Island. There was a lot more he hadn’t shared with anyone, and he wasn’t about to start now.
“So why are you still going there?”
“Personal reasons,” he stated flatly.
Nicolas had been around him long enough to recognize the tone. He didn’t ask anything further. Instead, he changed the subject. “So you and Leslie seem to be getting serious.”
Alex shrugged, not responding to that question either. Instead, he leaned forward. “No one will tell me, but I know there’s a bet.”
“There is no bet, as everyone keeps telling you.” Nicolas chuckled.
“Someone warned you,” he accused.
“I might not have been around much for the things our group does, but I’ve heard from many people.” There was a slight reprimand in his tone.
Alex winced. “I should have called.”
“Or even e-mailed me something besides the jokes you send. There is also a carrier pigeon option too.”
“Smartass.”
“You say the sweetest things.” Nicolas blinked, pouting playfully.
“No trying to steal a kiss from Alex. I’m the only one who’s allowed to kiss him.”
Alex glanced at Leslie as he slid into the booth next to him. Leslie followed words with action, kissing him gently.
“Nicky.” Leslie’s voice changed to his Maestro tone.
Alex glanced at Nicolas in sympathy.
“I’ve bee—”
“Would you use tools that have been made to languish?” Leslie tapped his finger on the table.
Nicolas lowered his head, mumbling something they couldn’t hear.
“Nicky.” Leslie’s tone was sharp.
“No.” Nicky propped his hand on his chin, then closed his eyes, sighing before opening them and saying, “Okay. I’m ready for the lecture.”
“I don’t lecture about the way you treat your vehicles.” Leslie patted his chest. “I gently educate you on the error of your ways.”
Alex snorted at the same time Nicolas did.
“It’s the truth.” Leslie glared to include them both in his look. “You must respect the things you have. Treat them right, and they will never betray you.”
Alex straightened, startled at his words. It dawned on him that Leslie would never betray him. Not like… Alex cut off even thinking of the name. As Leslie continued to give Nicolas a hard time for not bringing in his car for servicing, Alex stared at Leslie.
Oh shit. He isn’t just important to me. He means everything.
Alex gulped down his drink, wondering what the hell he was going to do. At the idea, his stomach rolled.
Chapter Eight
ALEX TOOK another pee
k at Leslie as he reclined on the couch, watching the movie. He hadn’t even paid any attention to the film.
“What’s up with you?” Leslie pushed at his leg with his foot.
Alex pushed his leg and moved away. Leslie frowned, reached for the remote, and turned off the movie before throwing the control onto the couch.
“Two weeks of your nasty attitude is all I’m about to take, Alex. You’ve been pushing me away, and I want to know why.” Leslie crossed his arms over his chest.
Alex didn’t reply.
“When you get your head out of your ass, let me know.” Leslie rose and stomped out of the room.
A few seconds later, the door slammed. Cuda lifted his head, then lay back down to doze. Alex ran his hands through his hair, knowing he was being a prick and that he needed to talk with Leslie. He stood and went to the window, glancing out over his gardens in the moonlight. Soon it would be October, and November would follow after, and Leslie had already started hinting he wanted Alex to spend the holidays with his family. He’d even mentioned that, next year, they would be preparing dinner at their place. Leslie kept making plans for the long term, and Alex hadn’t said anything. Alex braced his hand against the wall beside the window. A body pressed against his knee, and Alex looked down at Cuda.
“Yeah, yeah. I know. I need to talk with your daddy.” Alex turned and went to find Leslie.
He already knew where to look. Unlike Leslie, he didn’t go out the front door, but went to the door off the kitchen that led to the garage. From the doorway, he watched as Leslie pounded out the body of his newest project. It was cool tonight, so Leslie had the garage door closed. Alex winced at the viciousness of his strikes. He walked closer.
“Imagining it’s me?” he teased.
Leslie pushed back his hair from his face, moving to place the hammer on the table. He sat with his back to Alex at the counter and started typing on his laptop. Alex walked over and closed the lid of the computer.
“Let’s go to bed.”
Leslie crossed his arms over his chest.
“Please. I need to talk with you, but….” Alex held out his hand.
Leslie watched a long while before taking Alex’s hand. Alex squeezed his fingers, then led him back into the house. He turned off the lights and they headed upstairs. Cuda ran past them. In the bedroom, Alex sat at the side of the bed, pulling Leslie to sit beside him. They were silent in the semidarkness.
“Alex—”
“Give me a moment, Leslie.”
Leslie didn’t say anything further as Alex tried to gather his thoughts.
“I’ve only been in one other serious relationship.” Alex was trying, but it was hard.
“I know about you and Robert already.”
“Not Robin. Robin and I were different. That was infatuation. Even when we were younger and having sex, we knew it wasn’t really love or a relationship. I love him, but as a friend.” Alex inhaled, then let it out in a whoosh. “I’ve never even told Robert, or any of the Berkuses, about Donald.”
“Donald?”
“The one man I loved and dared to have a relationship with.” Alex blinked as his thoughts filled with that familiar face and lopsided grin. “When we met I was such a… well, I was a slut. Screwing around and not letting anyone close. At least until Donald.”
Alex closed his eyes, feeling them burn. He opened them, fighting to keep it together enough to tell Leslie about Donald.
“He wasn’t even my usual type. Donald was so sedate and reserved, but he had this way of calling me on my shit without once raising his voice. He knew how to make you realize you were being a prick.” Alex chuckled. “Our first meeting, he did just that, and man, I hated his ass.” Alex clenched his fist. “We kept running into each other, and for some perverse reason, I made sure I spoke to him when we did. He was always so dismissive of me, and it aggravated me. I shouldn’t have given a shit what he thought.”
“But you did.” Leslie spoke.
“Yes, and it took me a year to figure out why. I was attracted to the man. When I figured it out, I waited for our next meeting, then made my move. Donald smiled and said he was glad I finally got my head out of my ass and figured it out.” Alex shook his head. “When he said that, I thought he had been messing with me. Acting all cool to make me want him. He didn’t deny it, but made me a promise. Get to really know him, then think about what I said. I didn’t know what he meant at the time, but I learned that that wasn’t Donald’s way. He was a straightforward guy.” Alex rubbed down the bridge of his nose. “Or at least, so I thought. Years later, I learned a lot I didn’t know about him.”
Alex leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees and laced fingers between his legs. “That first night after I admitted I wanted him, we talked for hours. I mean really talked, about any and everything. That was the way it was for months. I didn’t get to see him as often as I wanted, since he traveled so much for his business. But the times I did, we spent them together.” Alex gripped his hands tighter. “When we finally had sex, I was primed, and it was everything I imagined. I knew he was it for me. The only man I would love. That I would be with him forever.”
Alex’s throat felt closed off. Leslie pressed against his side, touching his hands. Alex opened his palms and gripped Leslie’s hand between his.
“Breathe, Alex.”
He released a shuddering breath. Leslie stroked his back.
“Finish telling me.”
“We made a life together. Moved in together and were partners for five years. Donald was private about his life, and he was in and out of town so much I never mentioned it to anyone. I even started to hint that we should get married, make it official.” Alex didn’t hold back the pain as he spoke harshly. “I loved the rotten bastard, and do you know the reason he was out of town so much? He had another family. A wife and son.” He glanced at Leslie, seeing he wasn’t surprised. “Sounds like a closeted man, doesn’t it? But the part that’s so sad is, he was leaving his wife permanently to be with me.” The tears filled his eyes, and he whispered hoarsely, “I didn’t know he was married when they called me to tell me he had been in an accident. Didn’t know, as I rushed to the hospital, only to be told he was dead. I was sitting beside the man I thought I knew when his wife came to find her husband. She had been on the phone with him when his car crashed, and she was frantic when she couldn’t find him.” Alex shook his head. “She knew about me. Donald had already told her and was coming to me, but was on the cell discussing something about their son.”
“Alex—”
“She wasn’t even mad at me. She didn’t hate him. But God, I did. I hated him so much in that moment for leaving me. For making all we had a sham. I couldn’t even tell him, ‘Fuck you for lying to me. Fuck you for making me love you.’” Alex shuddered. “Kali, his wife, had met Donald when they were thirteen. They were childhood sweethearts. They had been married five years when he met me, and six by the time we became a couple. She said he had been acting unlike himself, but she knew his business was stressful. We sat there at his bedside while she told me all about their life together. Then how much happier he had been the last five years since meeting me. Filled me in on their conversation about me.” Alex blew out a breath. “She told me all this as I held his hand and thought I should get out of there and leave him to the one who had the right to be with him. Eventually, I worked up the energy to do just that, and left.”
“I’m sor—”
“Don’t be sorry for me,” Alex said softly. “Donald had married a smart and sneaky woman. Kali tracked me down the next day and brought her ten-year-old son, Kyle. Said she was there for us to plan Donald’s funeral. I didn’t understand what she meant. She, in her sweet voice, told me we were going to plan the final send-off for her husband and my partner.” Alex chuckled. “God, I wanted to throw her out on her head, or at least curse her out, but I couldn’t with her kid there. He looks just like Donald. She got him settled with a book, then bullied, prodded, and forc
ed me to help plan his funeral. Kali is one determined woman, and days later, I found myself standing by her side as people came to pay their condolences. The attendees were all his and her friends. They didn’t have any family, since they both grew up in foster care. Kali even introduced me as his partner.”
“She sounds like… a good woman.” Leslie squeezed his hand.
“She was a lunatic—a loving and kindhearted, insane know-it-all. After the funeral and when everyone left, when her son was in bed, she finally broke down. I held her as she cried. We mourned for the man we both loved. After that, she became a regular part of my life. We helped each other. She made me come to terms with what Donald did, while I provided her someone who knew him to talk about him with.”
“Alex, I’m sorry.”
“Thanks. Almost two years after Kali and I met, I asked her to marry me.”
Leslie stiffened. Alex turned to face him.
“Being the smart lady she is, she refused. I asked her when I decided to move here to Mapson. I knew we would have made each other miserable, since I’m gay, but I felt I owed her, and I didn’t want to lose the friendship we had developed.” Alex sighed. “And exactly what I didn’t want to happen did.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s the reason I was going to Rhode Island so often. I was trying to find her. She just seems to have disappeared.” Alex ran his hand through his hair, gripping the ends. “Maybe she decided to make a new start for her and Kyle. I don’t know. Before my trip in June, I decided to let finding her go.”
“Then why did you go to Rhode Island two times since then?”
“For Donald’s birthday and the anniversary of his death,” Alex admitted, then shrugged. “I convinced myself I was doing it for my love for him, but that wasn’t the truth.”
“Why were you doing it?” Leslie’s gaze was steady.
“Donald will always have a place in my heart.” Alex stared into Leslie’s deep-green gaze. “But I love you, Leslie.”
“’Bout time you admitted it.”
Something in Common (Dreamspinner Press Bundles) Page 72