by L. P. Dover
He’s right. I’ve pushed her back until all that remained was my magic. I turn to Beck, and he nods. “Your father has a point.” He looks off into the distance and sighs. “I have to go. If you need me, you know what to do.” And just like that, he steps through a portal into the Land of the Fae. A part of me really wants to see what it’s like to experience the world my mother grew up in, but like any world, no place is perfect. I clutch Cedric’s clothes tighter to my chest. They smell just like him.
“Cedric’s probably mad at me,” I whisper, glancing up at my father.
He stares down at me, his smile sad. “He’s not mad, Laila. The man just found out your bond might come with a price. He knows how much magic means to you.”
I can’t imagine what all is going through his mind. “I have to talk to him.”
“He’ll be at the lake,” Ryker calls out. I turn toward the house to see Ryker on the front porch. He points out in the direction of the lake. “It’s where he likes to go.”
“Thanks, Ryker,” I say quickly. I don’t want to waste another minute. I turn to my father. “I want to go alone,” I tell him.
My father huffs and stands back. “Just be careful. Don’t lose your stone.”
It’s still secure in my pocket. I rush off into the woods, and there’s so much snow it’s hard to run through. My magic swells up inside me, and when it bursts from my fingers the snow is blasted from the path. When I get to the lake, the wind stops, and the snow falls back to the ground. Twilight has taken over, giving the area a mystical glow. I look around, but there’s no sign of Cedric. I can’t see him, but I can feel him.
I scan the areas around the lake but then stop when I sense him right behind me. “You should’ve told me, Laila.”
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. “I knew you wouldn’t take it well. Plus,” I say, turning around to face him, “we don’t …” The words get caught in my throat. I’ve seen plenty of naked men in my time, but Cedric is different. The snow falls onto his skin and melts on contact, giving his body a glow in the darkness. His arms are sculpted, and so are his washboard abs. The heat rises to my cheeks, but it also goes lower. Cedric can sense the need in me, and he responds just like a male would. Now, of course, is not the right time. I hold out his clothes, and he takes them, his hands sliding against mine. Every time we touch, it takes my breath away.
“We don’t what?” he asks, his glowing gray eyes staring into mine. “What were you going to say?”
He’s so close, and all I want is to kiss him, to tell him things will be okay. But will they? So much is going on around us. Not only do we have rogue wolves lurking about, but we have to worry about Dorian and the other dark fae. Nothing in my life has been simple. I should’ve known it wouldn’t be now.
As I look into his eyes, I can’t help but get lost in them. The pull feels stronger like the earth is drawing me closer to him. It’s different than what I’ve felt before. Cedric’s breath picks up, and he moves closer. “I was going to say,” I begin, whispering the words, “that we don’t know if I’ll lose my magic or not.”
He shakes his head. “And that’s the problem. We don’t know. I can’t ask you to give up who you are to be with me. That’s not how this works.” He steps back and puts on his clothes.
“So what are you saying exactly? That you’re not going to mate with me?”
His eyes flash, and he growls. “You know I want to, Laila. I’m just not going to make you choose. I don’t want you to hate me or regret your decision if you decide to go through with it.”
I don’t know what comes over me, but I wrap my arms around his neck. “There’s still hope.” I kiss him, and his arms fold around me, his grip tight as he deepens it. Everything feels right, but then he pulls back.
“Your wolf calls to me,” he whispers, placing his forehead to mine.
I feel her too. “She’s there, just in the background.”
Brows furrowed, he steps away. “Yeah, I can sense that. But I also get the feeling you’re keeping her there on purpose. Why?”
It’s the first time anyone has ever said that to me. I’ve known for a long time why my fae side is dominant. I just never talked about it. The Sierra pack never cared, just as long as I could use my magic. Turning away from him, I stare out at the frozen lake. A part of me feels ashamed for my reasoning, but also justified. I don’t know if he’ll understand.
“You can be honest with me, Laila,” Cedric murmurs. “I want to know.”
Closing my eyes, I breathe in the cold, crisp air. When I open my eyes, the moon starts to peek through the clouds. In a couple of weeks, it’ll be full. Cedric and I haven’t known each other long, but if we mate, it could save me from Dorian, but only if my fae magic gets taken over by my shifter side. We don’t even know if that will happen. I could mate with Cedric and still have my fae magic, hence, leaving me open to Dorian and putting my pack in harm’s way. What the hell am I supposed to do?
Cedric places a hand on my shoulder and slides it down my arm. I slowly turn to face him, his gray eyes searching mine when I look into them. “I grew up seeing the brutality of the Sierra pack. I didn’t want to be like them. It made me hate the shifter part of me. That’s why I embraced my magic and ignored my wolf. I pushed that part of me away.”
Cedric’s eyes soften, and he cups my cheeks. “Not all of us are bad, Laila.”
I bring a hand up and hold it over his. “I know. By the time I realized that it was too late. Being around you has helped, though. She doesn’t feel so far away.”
His smile is sad. “The question is … do you even want that part of yourself?”
The pain on his face makes my heart hurt. I lean into his touch. “Of course, I do. I just don’t want the pack to suffer because of what I am. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you all safe. If only I knew what to do.”
Cedric tilts his head to the side, his lips lowering to mine. “You don’t need to worry about the pack. We’re strong. For now, let’s just hope that stone keeps you hidden.”
“Let’s hope,” I whisper. The second he closes his lips over mine, my worries seem to melt away. I just wish it would last.
Fourteen
Cedric
Sleep doesn’t come easily for me anymore. All I can think about is protecting Laila. It doesn’t help that I hear every one of her movements in her bedroom just above me. After we walked back from the lake last night, I took her home and slept on her couch. The bond is getting stronger between us; I can feel it. She opens up to me more and more with each passing day. Still, the lingering thought of her losing her magic because of me doesn’t settle well. I would never forgive myself if that happened.
Stretching my arms above my head, I listen to Laila. She hums a lot, and I love it. Sometimes I don’t think she realizes she’s doing it. The sound of crunching snow catches my attention along with the familiar scent of a royal arctic wolf. I walk to the door and step out onto the porch just as Micah appears through the trees in the distance, dressed for his usual morning of fight training.
“Hey, man,” I call out.
Micah takes one look at me and chuckles. “On the couch again?”
Glancing down at my wrinkled clothes, I shrug. “I’ll take what I can get.”
Micah steps up onto the porch. “I’d be the same way if I found my mate.” He moves closer and lowers his voice. “Have you and Laila decided what you’re going to do at the next full moon?”
I shake my head. “Not yet.” I know she’s up in her room listening to us. I don’t think she’s ready. Micah stares at me, and I nod toward the backyard where he trains the women. I want to be as far away from the house as I can, so Laila can’t hear me. “She’s not ready,” I admit to him.
Micah nods. “I figured that. I’m impressed though. If you weren’t patient with her, I’d be kicking your ass right now.”
I snort. “As if you could.” But then, I smile. He’s her uncle, so I wouldn’t expect anything less of him. “T
he more I’m around her, the more I want to claim her. It’s not easy keeping my distance.”
“And if she were a full shifter, it wouldn’t be so hard.”
“Exactly.”
That’s what makes this bond with Laila a little more complicated than what the other wolves have experienced. Wolves are sexual creatures. We crave our mate’s touch, their blood, and the intimacy that comes with being with each other. Laila is more fae than shifter, so that side of her isn’t as heightened as it should be. She blocks that part of herself off. No matter what happens, I’m going to be patient with her.
Micah rolls his neck and stretches. “Don’t worry. Things happen for a reason. I’m a firm believer in that. Laila was chosen to be your mate and you hers. There are just a couple of obstacles standing in your way.”
Obstacles that could tear us apart. There’s desperation inside me that feels like it’s going to consume me if things don’t change. Could it be the rage? I don’t know, but it makes me feel out of control.
The screen door on the front porch slams shut, and I can hear Laila and Faith whispering amongst themselves, but I can’t tell what they’re saying. I look over at Micah, who’s busy stretching out his legs. “Let me be the one to train Laila today,” I say. “I don’t have to be at work for another two hours.”
Laila and Faith come into view, and Laila smiles at me. She has on a pair of skintight black leggings and a snug long-sleeve T-shirt that hugs her breasts. I’d give anything to touch her right now. Micah stands and chuckles under his breath. “Sure thing, Convel. I’m warning you, she’s not an easy opponent.”
Laila’s eyes twinkle as she comes closer. “You got that right.”
I wink at her. “I’ll take my chances.”
Micah shakes his head as if I’m crazy, and Faith snickers as they walk away to another part of the yard to train. Laila sets her phone down on the ground and cracks her knuckles. “Magic or no?”
“No,” I answer, placing my phone beside hers, so it doesn’t get broken if she kicks my ass. “I want to see what you got without it.” I want her to use her shifter instincts. I know she has them; they just need to be unleashed. I lunge at her and drop to the ground, swiping my legs under hers. She reacts quickly and jumps over me. “Very good,” I tell her.
She shrugs and tries her best not to smile. “I’m trying.”
I circle her. “Gotten a little cocky, haven’t you?”
She counters my movements, her body on guard, by the way, her muscles tense. Her face, however, shows nothing but calmness. “I blame it on the company I keep,” she says.
“I bet twenty dollars you can’t tackle her,” Faith shouts at me.
Laila giggles, and I turn to face Faith. “You’re on.” Without hesitation, I go on the attack, hoping to catch Laila off guard. She sidesteps me, and I almost get my arms around her waist, but she pivots out of my hold. By the surprised look on her face, I can tell it shocks her.
Micah claps his hands. “Damn, Convel, I’m impressed.”
It’s hard not to gloat. I give Laila a wolfish grin, and she crosses her arms over her chest, glaring at me playfully. “Luck is all that was.”
“All right,” I say, stalking toward her, “no holding back.” As quick as I can, I rush toward her, and she back handsprings out of the way. We go back and forth, and I get closer to her with each turn. I know I’m going to get her; it’s just a matter of time and patience. Laila’s quick, but I’ve learned to anticipate my opponent’s moves. I know exactly where she’s going to move next. From what I’ve learned by watching her, she tends to lunge towards the right to evade me. When she does it again, I’ll be ready.
Everything moves in slow motion. I hold my breath and watch as her leg muscles tense. The second I go on the attack, the muscles in her right thigh tenses as she digs her foot into the snow to jump away. I instantly change up my move and tackle her down to the snowy ground, making sure I get the brunt force of the fall. We roll around the snow, and I’m laughing so hard it hurts.
“You owe me twenty dollars,” I shout to Faith as I hold Laila down on the cold ground.
Faith scoffs. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m disappointed in you, Laila.”
Laila tilts her head back so she can see her. “Hey, I think I’m doing pretty good with what I got.”
When she looks at me, I smile. “You are. You’re quick and agile. I’m impressed.”
Her grin turns wicked. “Maybe you’ll be impressed with this.” She flicks her wrist, and the next thing I know, something grabs my ankle, and I’m yanked off of her onto my back in the snow.
“What the …” I jump to my feet, but the tree roots wrapping around my ankles make me trip and fall. Laila bursts out laughing and stands above me as more of the roots have my legs completely entrapped.
“Very funny,” I say, laying my head in the snow.
Laila grins down at me. “I can play dirty when I want.”
The tree roots continue circling my body and are now at my waist. I don’t even try to fight against it. Laila is having her fun, and I love the look on her face when she uses her magic. It’s who she is, but there are moments when I see her shifter side. If she’d embrace both, she’d be one lethal half-breed. The only thing I can do is be patient with her, but unfortunately, time isn’t on our side right now.
Faith and Micah walk over and snicker at me. “Looks like you got yourself in a bind,” Faith teases.
Micah kneels and tugs on the roots. “At least, she didn’t make you fall in a hole.”
I shrug. “As long as Laila doesn’t keep me here all night, I’ll be fine.”
Micah gets back to his feet. “Good luck with that.” He winks at Laila and walks off with Faith to the house.
Laila picks up a handful of snow and turns it into a ball of ice. “Over the years, I got creative. I hated the men in my pack so much that I’d do little things to make them miserable.” She sits down in the snow beside me.
“What would you do?”
She holds up the ice. “One thing I loved doing was in the winter. When I was a little girl, I’d make ice patches appear and watch the guys fall on their asses. None of them ever suspected it was me.”
“What else would you do?” I ask.
Her smile slowly fades, and she stares at the ice. It shatters and turns back to snow. “When I realized how evil the men were in my pack, my tricks turned a little darker. I’ve never told anyone this.”
She looks at me, and I reach for her hand. “You can tell me.”
Her hand clasps mine. “I was fifteen years old. There was this one guy in our pack, Chris Morgan, who was pure evil. He had many human women and loved to beat them. I used to overhear him talking about it all the time.” Her grip tightens around my hand, her eyes taking on a darkness I’ve never seen in her before.
“Go on,” I tell her.
“One night, he came over to see my brother.” Then she scoffs and shakes her head. “I can’t believe I still call him that.”
“The guy was a psychotic dick, but he was the only family you had for a long time, Laila.”
She sighs. “I know. He kept me safe from everyone, that’s for sure. I’m at least thankful for that.”
“Something tells me you didn’t need him for that.”
“You’re right,” she says, meeting my gaze. “In the end, I didn’t need him at all. When Chris left the house that night, I watched him go to his car. I kept thinking about how the world would be better with him gone. My heart broke for all the women he’d hurt.” She closes her eyes and exhales slowly. “I remember wanting him dead, and then, out of nowhere, it’s like the tree beside his car came to life and pierced him through the heart with one of its branches.” Her eyes open, and she looks down at me. “The pack searched for the killer, and I thought for sure they’d figure out it was me. But they didn’t.”
“Is he the first person you ever killed?”
She nods. “Is it bad that it felt good?”
&nbs
p; I’ve killed many wolves over the years, but never any humans. I don’t like having to kill anyone, but sometimes there’s no other option. I’ll do anything to protect my pack and the people I love. The only time I ever enjoyed hurting someone was when I found the men who killed my parents. “Not at all,” I confess. “He deserved it.”
Her gaze saddens. “Just like the people who murdered your parents deserved it too. I know you try to hide that from me. I know I’m not a master at this mate thing, but I know it gives us the sixth sense on what the other is feeling.”
I don’t want her to see the violent side of me. That’s all she’s ever been around. What I did to the rogues who killed my parents is no better than what her old pack did to others. In a way, I’m just like them, and I don’t want her to see me like that.
She cups my cheek and smiles sadly. “It’s okay, Cedric. You killed evil men who took the people you loved away from you. There’s no shame in that. And I don’t care if you hung them up by their balls and sliced them to bits until they died.”
“Damn, woman,” I interrupt her. “You’re more vicious than I thought. I wish I would’ve had that idea all those years ago.”
She shakes her head and laughs. “All I’m saying is that we all do things in life that we question whether it’s right or wrong.”
I try to sit up, but then I’m reminded that I can’t move. Laila tries her best not to snicker and fails. “Guess you want up, don’t you?”
“It’d be nice. That way, I can kiss you.”
Her eyes twinkle. “Well, in that case.” She doesn’t release me but slowly lowers her lips to mine. Her kiss is soft, yet I want so much more but I can’t fucking move.
Groaning, I break from the kiss. “You’re killing me.”
She stands up and lifts her hand in the air but stops as she looks down at my body, her face full of surprise. “What the …”
“What is it?” I lift my neck as far as it can go, which isn’t much, but I’m able to see what she’s looking at. The roots that have wrapped around my body start sprouting little blue flowers. “Are you doing that?” I ask her, turning my attention back to her.