by Snow, Lucy
Summitville Hospital was small, but the few times I’ve been there before, I’d found it to be super efficient. I drove up to the emergency entrance, and stopped the car honking the horn before I got out and ran across to the other side.
The door opened, and a nurse came rushing out. “What’s the matter?” She asked, as I started to open Maggie store.
“She’s pregnant! And her contractions are getting closer and closer together. Please help!” I threw the door open wide, and Maggie waived from inside.
“Got it. I’ll be back in a second. You stay with her, and make sure nothing goes wrong.” The nurse dashed back into the open hospital doors, and Maggie and I looked at each other.
How could I fix anything should anything go wrong? We were outside a hospital! This was the very place where wrong things were fixed! I settled for holding Maggie’s hand as she went through another contraction. Her phone was ringing, but Maggie was too busy to answer it. I took the phone from her hand and thumbed the screen.
It was Maggie’s mother, calling frantically to see how she was doing. I reassured her as much as I could, telling her that we were already at the hospital, and that the nurses were coming to take care of Maggie. That contra down a little bit, and she assured me that family members would arise as soon as they possibly could.
To reassure them just a little bit more, I took a picture of Maggie giving the thumbs-up, and sent it over to her mother, Before putting the phone away. “I’ll keep this, I’m sure they’re going to call again.”
Maggie nodded as another contraction hit. I squeezed her hand, and whispered to her how great she was doing, and how soon all the pain would be over, and she’d have a new baby to take care of.
By then the nurse came rushing back out of the hospital, pushing a wheelchair in front of her. “Get her on to this, help me.” I stood out of her way while she moved the wheelchair right up against the door, and then with Maggie’s help we managed to get her out of the car and into the chair, Maggie huffing and puffing the entire time with all the exertion.
Once we were done, the nurse immediately begin pushing Maggie toward the entrance. “There, there, we got you, we’ll take care of everything from here.” I followed alongside, holding Maggie’s hand as we entered the hospital.
The heat from the air inside hit me, and I unzipped my jacket before leaning over to the same for Maggie, who thanked me under her breath, still bracing for the next contraction.
“Are you family?” The nurse asked without stopping. She picked up speed, and I had to double time the pace to keep up.
“She might as well be!” Maggie muttered, just loud enough for the nurse to hear.
“Her family’s on the way. We were out doing some shopping. Is there anything I can do?”
“We’ll take it from here.” The nurse must have seen the look of concern on my face, because she looked down at Maggie, and seeing that things seemed to be stable, she stopped and grabbed my forearms. “Relax, honey, you did great. You got her here on time and everything seems OK. We’ll take it from here. Please try and relax.”
“Yeah, honey, relax,” Maggie added.
“Thanks, this is all just very new to me,” I stammered.
“It’s new to everyone once, you did just fine. Trust me, many people fall apart on the way here, or just after they arrive. You’re way ahead of the curve.” We started moving again, and a few seconds later we got to the intake area. “OK, from here on it’s just the new mom.” The nurse motioned to the waiting area we’d just passed by. “How about you take a seat over there, make any calls you need, have some coffee. It could be a while!”
I nodded and stepped in front of Maggie. “You gonna be OK, Mags?”
Maggie waved me away. “I’ll be fine, love. I don’t envy you.”
“Huh? You’re the one about to give birth.”
“Yeah, but you’re gonna have to spend the labor with my family in the waiting room.” The nurse smiled and started to push the wheelchair through the doors and out of view. The last thing Maggie said was, “of the two of us I got off easier!”
I laughed at the situation. Maggie was getting wheeled off to go give birth while her husband was deployed on the other side of the world and she was the one reassuring me, and not envying what I had to do in the next few hours!
I walked over to the waiting area and found a seat, waiting for Maggie’s family to arrive. No doubt they would have plenty of questions, and all of them would be directed at me.
***
The next few hours were rough. Maggie’s family thankfully didn’t show up all at once, but there was a steady flow of people one or two every hour or so. We exchanged excited greetings and chatted, reassuring each other that Maggie would be fine and that her new bouncing baby boy would be as well.
Finally Maggie’s mother arrived and took charge of the situation. The hospital staff tried to keep order, but even they withered under her steely gaze and shrank back. In no time at all, Maggie’s mother directed other family members, quelled arguments that arose, and became the point of contact for all hospital communication.
After that we just sat around and waited. I texted Harrison what was going on, but he didn’t reply. I sat in the waiting area with the rest of the family, but I mostly stayed out of their conversation. Maggie’s mother came over when she had a free moment and sat down with me, and we did the standard what-have-you-been-up-to-oh-that’s-nice-I-hear-wonderful-things-about-New-York thing. Like Maggie, her mother really loved Summitville and the surrounding area and even more than Maggie wondered out loud why anyone would ever want to leave, especially for the unsafe and anonymous bright lights of the big city.
I could tell Maggie’s mother wasn’t really invested in the conversation, and my heart reached out to her. Her daughter was going through something difficult and yet wonderful at the same time, and all she could do was wait. The anxiety of the situation was driving her to yammer on despite running out of things to say, so after a few minutes I took her hands in mine. She smiled, and we sat there in silence for a few minutes, both finally on the same page - anxious and hopeful for Maggie and her new baby.
***
A few hours later we got word - Maggie had delivered a perfect baby boy! A cheer erupted through the waiting area, now almost entirely comprised of Maggie’s family. It was a slow night for new babies.
The nurses announced that one by one we could go in and visit with Maggie and the baby, and that set off entirely new round of familial squabbles about who would get to go in second. Everyone knew it would be Maggie’s mother first; that went without saying. Such was the power that she wheeled with just a glance.
The entire family jockeyed for position, and there was talk of even setting up an a actual line brewing when Maggie’s mother went in to see her new grandson. I paced around, not sure whether I should stay or leave the family to their newfound bundle of joy, but something told me to stick around.
Honestly, I didn’t have much else going on - no other friends in the area, and despite Harrison’s attempt at reconciliation, I didn’t really want to be around the house right now - it was just easier to stay away. Plus, this was Maggie we were talking about! And on one of the biggest days of her life. I couldn’t miss this, even if I had to wait till even third cousin twice removed Myrtle was done visiting with them.
The rest of the family mostly ignored me beyond polite waves and greetings - they were all far too interested in what was going on behind closed doors, both in the hospital and at their own homes among family members. I hung back and read a book on my phone.
30 minutes after she went in, Maggie’s mother came out, beaming from ear to ear, unable to stop gushing about how beautiful her grandson was. The rest of the family stood up and rushed toward her, each trying to get in questions and get closer to hear how happy she was as she described what she’d seen.
Then the shock rippled through the family in waves as Maggie’s mother delivered the news - Maggie didn’t wa
nt to see the rest of the family until she’d seen her friend Laurel! If someone had taken my picture in that moment it would have been right at home in the dictionary next to the definitions of “surprised,” “awed,” or “positively gobsmacked.”
I was thrilled, but also not just a little bit guilty to hear it. Of course I wanted to see Maggie and her baby as soon as possible, but I also thought that should really go to family first, especially with how distant Maggie and I had been since I’d moved to New York. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I stood up and walked toward the door. I tried to ignore the one or two unhappy looks I got along the way from family members.
Maggie’s mother stopped me at the door and gave me a hug, telling me she and Maggie were so happy that I’d stuck around, that it meant so much to them and their family. She also thanked me yet again for getting Maggie safely to the hospital.
I was almost numb with good feelings and I must have come across as cold and stiff, but after a minute or so the nurse waiting by the door took me by the hand and led me through the doors, past the sterile and efficient looking delivery area to the more relaxed and comfortable recovery rooms.
We walked down a long hall, the nurse saying quiet but keeping me on track as I looked into each room as we passed by. It was light this time of year, so there were only a couple filled, but in each one of them I saw a woman lying in the bed holding her new baby with just the purest look of joy on her face. Like nothing else could even hope to approach that moment.
“How do you do it?” I asked, to no one in particular.
“Do what?” the nurse asked, unsure of what I meant.
“Keep calm and composed with all this going on all around you all the time.”
The nurse furrowed her brow, still not understanding. “What do you mean?”
I motioned back behind us to the delivery area. “All that, the rush and pace of delivering all these babies,” I moved my hands all around us, “and then this over here, looking in these rooms and seeing these families, you know, getting bigger one person at a time.”
“Oh that,” the nurse laughed, finally getting it. “I think after a while you just take it all in stride. You see the good stuff, the scenes like this,” she pointed to a door, through which I could see a new mother softly singing to her baby girl, rocking it back and forth in her arms. “But then again you also clean up the poop in the delivery room.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Right, right. I’ve heard about that.”
“It’s worse than you’ve heard. So yeah, you take the good with the bad. Kinda puts a new perspective on,” she made air quotes as we stopped in front of a closed door, “the magic of childbirth.” She tapped on the door to see if we could come in.
I giggled, nodded to the nurse, and looked in the window. Maggie lay in the bed and she lifted a hand away from the blankets wrapped up in her arms to look back at me. Her eyes widened in recognition and she nodded and waved me in.
I started to open the door. “Take your time, but don’t take too long,” the nurse said, grabbing my wrist with her hand, “the rest of the family’s gonna get restless soon. I’ve seen it before.” We smiled at each other, and I went in.
Before closing the door behind me, the nurse called into Maggie, “everything alright in there? Need anything?”
Maggie weakly replied, “No, thank you,” in a tired voice. I looked around the hospital room. It was a pristine white, a small bathroom off to one side, and plenty of room on either side of the giant bed Maggie lay in. Machines next to the bed beeped and hummed, their screens all green with text, which I assumed meant all was well. Certainly there were no nurses hovering around, so that was a good sign.
Maggie wore a hospital gown, and she was bundled up in blankets, propped up with a few pillows behind her back. She looked up at me when I entered, but almost immediately, as I looked around, her attention went back to the baby in her arms.
Maggie’s baby.
Holy shit.
Maggie had a baby.
My best friend Maggie. Had a baby.
She was a mother.
Did I mention holy shit?
I think I did, but it bore repeating: Holy shit. Maggie was a mother.
I must have gasped out loud just seeing the baby for the first time, because I made enough noise to shake Maggie out of her reverie and force her to look up.
“Hey, Laurel, you made it through alright…” her voice was tired and wan, but I could tell this was probably battling it out with her wedding day for the happiest moment in Maggie’s life.
“Yeah, babe, I made it through just fine. But the coffee in the waiting room really could use some work.” I put my hands on my waist. “Can you do anything about that?”
“Sure, sure,” Maggie agreed, “I’ll get someone on that right away. But in the meantime, how about you say hi to Jack here?” She looked down, and for a second I thought she forgot me again.
I stepped closer, putting my hands on the railing that made sure Maggie didn’t take a huge spill out onto the floor. “Hey, Jack,” I whispered, tentatively at first. I wasn’t sure how loud I could talk around him, and I didn’t want him to start crying or pee or some other random thing.
I didn’t really spend much time around babies.
“Come closer, come closer,” Maggie reassured me. “He’s sleeping now, and hopefully he’ll stay that way for a little bit.” As I came closer, Jack turned his head, his eyes still closed, deep in sleep. He turned toward me, and I couldn’t keep the huge smile off my face.
“Can I touch him?” I whispered, unable to take my eyes off Jack’s peaceful face.
Maggie glanced at me, as if she was reading my face to judge whether I was fit for something. Fit to hold her newborn son. She brightened. “Of course, dear.” She slowly moved Jack’s bundle toward me, and I crowded in closer.
Jack was covered in a blue inner blanket, inside the larger wrap Maggie had him wrapped up in. He looked so calm, so relaxed, as he slept, I made sure to touch his arm as gently as I could.
“Would you like to hold him?” Maggie whispered, offering him to me.
“Are you sure? I mean, I’d love to, but…”
“Of course, come on, Laurel, you know I trust you.” She pushed him toward me, smiling. “Plus, it’ll give my arms a rest for a couple minutes.”
I pushed the movable railing back toward the foot of the bed to clear some space for me to sit, and I hopped up and sat, my legs dangling over the edge. “Are you sure?”
“Of course, you’ll be doing me a big favor. Come on, he’s fast asleep, you’ll do fine.”
I gulped; this I didn’t expect. “OK,” I said, still not 100% convinced, “if you’re sure.”
“I’m sure. You’ll be a mom someday, it’s good practice.”
“I guess…I guess you’re right. Give him here.”
“Just don’t run away with him! My mother already tried that.” I tried to picture Maggie’s mother running away with a newborn tucked under her arm, and the image was all too easy to conjure.
Tentatively at first, I took Maggie’s new son Jack into my arms, cradling him like I’d hold…well, a newborn baby. Jack, to his credit, didn’t wake up, just kept snoozing away like he owned the place. Which, in a sense, he kinda did.
I looked at Maggie; she smiled and nodded at me. “Go on, rock him a little bit.” I swayed my entire body a tiny bit over and back, and Jack rolled over a bit, opening his mouth like he was yawning.
“Oh my gosh!” was all I could get out, and I was instantly worried he’d wake up at my outburst, but you couldn’t disturb the little man with an airhorn. Not that I had one or anything. Well, maybe I had one in my purse.
“I had the same reaction the first time,” Maggie whispered. “It doesn’t go away.”
“I’ll bet. He’s so beautiful. So small and so precious.” I couldn’t pull my eyes away from him. “You’re gonna be big and tall like your daddy, aren’t you?” I brushed a little speck of dust o
ut of his face. “Yes you are.”
I couldn’t believe I was holding new life in my hands. Maggie and Chris had created something together, and of course I’d known about her pregnancy for months now, ever since Maggie had breathlessly called me to squeal about it from hundreds of miles away, and I’d congratulated her, but never really understood what that meant.
Until now. All that hardship and work and preparation and this was the result. I held Maggie and Chris’ child in my arms, and he was as close to perfect as he could be. I couldn’t imagine what Maggie must be feeling right in that moment - the exhilaration of giving birth, the wonder at having your own child to raise and love and take care of, and the knowledge that the journey of the last 9 months had come to an end, and an infinitely more difficult journey was just about to begin.
And then a wave of sadness hit me, thinking that Chris was so far away and wouldn’t be able to see his baby for months. My heart went out to Maggie, knowing she’d be facing a lot of hardship relatively alone in the next few months, despite having a huge family as a support system. That didn’t compare to having your husband with you; it couldn’t.
Maggie and I had always talked about having children, and I’d always thought of it as something that would happen eventually. Meet the right guy, fall deliriously in love, get married, and have a ton of kids, right? That was always the plan, that and a career doing…something, whenever I figured out what it was that I wanted to do.
But now, standing there, holding Jack and switching off between watching his sleeping face and Maggie’s about-to-fall-asleep face beaming back at me from tired eyes, all of it came home. Meeting the right guy, getting married, having children, all of it.
Whatever maternal instincts that lay dormant inside me came up all at once, and made themselves known.
I turned my head, casting my gaze around the room before seeing the chair Maggie’s mother had left near the bed. Careful not to wake Jack up or jostle him any more than I had to, I glanced and Maggie and then moved myself from my increasingly precarious perch on the bed to the chair.