I can’t imagine how bad things could've been if he never came into my life. I probably wouldn’t be alive today.
“I’m the lucky one,” I say, wishing there was a way to show him just how much he means to me. “You saved my life, Colton. I wouldn’t be here right now if it weren’t for you.”
A look I can’t name ripples over his face, and it almost looks like he’s going to cry, but then he clears his throat and swallows the expression down. “You have no idea how much I needed to hear that.” He takes a step closer, pressing his body against mine, and then he feathers a soft kiss over my lips. “You gave me the chance to redeem myself, Brie. Forget falling. I love you.”
It takes a moment for me to realize I did something big for Colton, and it makes a wide smile spread over my face. “I love you, too. With all my heart.”
Colton hugs me to his chest, and we stand like that for the longest time while the waterfall rushes into the pool and the sun moves across the sky.
COLTON
Brie keeps thinking I saved her, and yeah, there’s truth to it. But I don’t think she knows what she did for me. I’m not the hero in our story. Brie is.
We’re sitting on the grass, and the sun is starting to set when I say, “You’re so much stronger than you think. Yeah, I helped, but at the end of the day, it was all you, Brie.”
She brushes her palm over some blades of grass, then glances up at me. “Nope.” She shakes her head, a constant smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “You’re the one who fought all my battles.”
I tilt my head and capturing her eyes, I say, “And you’re the one who fought for survival for eighteen years. I only gave you another option, but you were the one who made the choice to move in with us. That’s huge, Brie. That’s one hell of a leap you took.”
I can see my words are getting through to her, but then she says, “Yeah, but it was an easy choice to make because you were there.”
“You gave my mom a chance,” I remind her, hoping to make her see it was all her.
“Because she’s kind like you,” she shoots it down.
I shake my head, determined to get through to her. “Brie, what I’m trying to say is that you gave my mom a chance at life. She was…” I shake my head again, “she gave up after Brady died. You got her to leave her room. You gave her a reason to get up every day.” I lean forward, my eyes intense on hers. “You gave me my mother back.”
Brie’s eyes begin to shine, and she swallows hard.
Knowing I’m finally getting her to understand, I continue, “I blamed myself for Brady’s death.”
Brie instantly begins to shake her head, but I reach for her hand, saying, “Let me finish.” When she nods, I admit, “The night Brady committed suicide was the first time I left him alone to face our father.”
Sitting with Brie as dusk sets in, I allow my thoughts to return to that night, and the familiar crippling sorrow seeps into my heart.
“Brady was upset because his girlfriend wanted to take their relationship to the next level. He felt he needed to tell her about our father before they did… the deed. But he couldn’t. He didn’t want her to see him as less. It really got to him.”
Understanding settles in Brie’s eyes. It’s so easy to talk to her because we’re kindred souls.
“My father overheard us talking and took it as an opportunity to lay into Brady.”
‘I told you you’ll never be good enough for the likes of Jade Daniels. She needs a man with an actual set of balls and not some pussy.’
The words shudder through me as if my father’s here, saying them now. “I’ll never forget the hurt on Brady’s face, and I know my brother believed every word my father spewed, no matter what I said,” I admit to Brie.
‘Stop it!’ I shout, and taking a step closer to our father, I fist my hands at my sides. ‘What the hell is wrong with you? How can you say that to Brady? He’s your son!’ Enraged by the hurt, he caused my brother, the self-control I always have begins to slip.
“I lost my temper.” Lifting my eyes to Brie’s face, I see she’s totally focused on me before I lower my gaze back to the grass. “I was always the patient one. I took the brunt of his rages so Brady and my mom wouldn’t have to. But that night… I lost it.”
‘Who the hell do you think you are?’ he shouts back, spittle flying from his mouth. Raising his arm, he’s just about to hit me when I lift my own and block the blow.
I step right up to him, and we come eye to eye as I hiss, “I’m your son. Brady’s your son.’ My body trembles as I cling to the last of my self-restraint. ‘You treat us worse than dogs. You’re not a man.’ I shake my head as disgust for him wells in my chest. ‘You’re nothing more than a coward who beats his own family.’
He shoves me back, but I manage to catch myself from losing my balance. Standing my ground, my eyes burn on him with hatred. ‘You’re nothing but a sick fuck.’
He lets out a growl as he storms me. The force from the blow of his body slamming against mine knocks me into the wall. His fist connects with my side, and it makes a sharp, burning sensation spread through my insides.
“Things got really bad,” I murmur as the night keeps playing out in my mind like a bad movie. I let out a heavy breath. “I would’ve killed him if I I’d stayed at home.” I shake my head as the weight of my decision settles heavily on my shoulders. “So, I left. I just walked around the town until I felt calmer.” Lifting my eyes to Brie, remorse squeezes at my heart. “By the time I got home, Brady had already shot himself.”
Walking up the street I live in, I see emergency lights flashing up ahead. Instantly apprehension ripples through me, and I break out into a run.
Reaching the driveway, a police officer tries to stop me, but shouting, “I live here,” I manage to get past him and run over the lawn to the front door.
Fear prickles over my skin, and one thought after the other flash through my mind.
Did he hurt Brady? Or my mother?
Shit, I shouldn’t have left.
I dart into the house and up the stairs. The first thing I see is Mom standing by the bathroom with an officer. There are tears streaming down her face, and she looks like she’s seen a ghost.
There’s no sign of my father, and I hear voices coming from Brady’s room. Walking closer, someone says, “You can’t go in there.”
“It’s my brother’s room,” I snap, pushing past the officer who just addressed me.
My eyes land on the bed, and it takes a long second for the sight to make sense. It looks like Brady’s just staring up at the ceiling. Only there’s blood. So much blood. The iron scent hangs thick in the air, and it begins to suffocate me, filling my stomach with bile.
I somehow manage to walk a little closer before I’m stopped by an officer. His arm wraps around me as I stare at my brother’s lifeless eyes.
When the officer begins to pull me away, my muscles tighten, and I try to yank free to get to Brady. “Let go,” I growl as I keep struggling at the hold.
Another officer comes to help, and I don’t have the strength to fight them both.
“Get him out of the room,” someone snaps.
I start to shake my head, my gaze locked on my brother as the realization that he’s dead rips a gaping hole right through my life.
I hear someone shout, and my throat burns as I gasp for air. They pull me backward, and no matter how hard I fight, the distance between Brady and me keeps growing.
“Colton.” Brie’s soft voice draws me back to the present. She’s moved onto her knees and shifted closer to me. Her hand’s on my shoulder, and as I raise my eyes to meet hers, she leans forward and hugs me.
Bringing my own arms up, I wrap them around her and pull her onto my lap. Burying my face in her neck, I hold onto her because this girl is the only one who has the power to keep me from drowning.
“I should’ve stayed and killed the bastard,” I murmur, my voice rough from all the grief and anger. “Then Brady would still be her
e.”
Brie pulls back a little, and as she frames my jaw with her hands, her chin trembles. “I know I sound selfish, but if you had killed your father, you would be in prison.” A tear spirals over her cheek. “And I wouldn’t be here.”
Brie’s words loosen the tight hold of regret around my heart, and I swallow hard before I admit, “Now do you understand what you mean to me? What you’ve done for me?”
She nods as her tears begin to fall faster.
“You’re the one who saved me, Brie,” I whisper before I press my mouth to hers.
Out of all the horror I’ve suffered, Brie was the one good thing to come from it. Maybe, just maybe, the reason everything happened was so I would see Brie’s torment where everyone else was blind to it.
I’ll always miss my brother, but I think Brady would be happy if he knew I found Brie because of him.
Even in death, he managed to give me peace and love.
I pull back, and my eyes meet Brie’s. “Brady would have liked you.”
“I’m sure I would’ve liked him as well,” she replies.
Chapter 24
BRIE
Dear me,
I have so many happy feelings, but I don’t know how to write them down.
We kissed!!! Colton’s lips were on mine. More than once. He also said he loves me. We talked until it was dark, and I’m just writing this down quickly before dinner because I don’t want to forget.
I’ve never been this happy. It feels like it’s bursting out of me and shining like a second sun.
Colton told me about the night Brady died. I never knew how much Colton blamed himself, and at least I got to help him in some way. It makes me feel closer to him. It’s like we’re two pieces of the same soul. I wish I could explain it better.
I guess the only thing that matters is our love. Colton is my everything.
B.
Ps. Does this mean we’re dating now? Should I ask him?
Waking up and feeling Colton’s chest rise and fall beneath my cheek, a smile spreads over my face.
Last night we talked about everything we could think of until we fell asleep. I learned the reason why Colton has to redo his senior year. Hearing what he’s been through makes my own past feel… less traumatic.
I lift my head and stare down at his sleeping face. It’s mind-blowing how just in a few weeks, everything has changed. When Colton walked into school, I was sure he’d become another bully. Instead, he turned out to be my hero.
The love of my life.
He begins to grin, then sleepily murmurs, “I can feel you staring.”
I let out a chuckle, and climbing over him, I get up. “I’ll make us some coffee.”
Walking to the bathroom first, the thought settles hard in my stomach today is my mother’s funeral. I still feel apprehensive about meeting my grandparents. But, I’ve decided to go so I can say goodbye to my mother. I’m doing it for myself because it’s my way of shutting the door on my past.
Everything will be okay. Colton and Cassie will be there.
After relieving myself and brushing my teeth, I go to my room and quickly pull a brush through my hair, then I walk down to the kitchen. I see Colton’s still lying on the couch and wonder if he dozed off again.
I start to make coffee as Cassie comes down the stairs. When she sees me, she says, “Morning, sweetie. How do pancakes sound for breakfast?”
“Yummy,” I grin.
Colton gets up from the couch, and my eyes drift over his tousled hair and the scruff on his jaw as he walks toward the stairs.
Yep, definitely yummy.
I feel the heat creep up my neck and quickly carry on making coffee. Still, a broad smile spreads over my face.
Cassie gathers all the ingredients she’ll need, and I move her cup closer. “Here you go.”
“Thank you.” I lean back against the counter and sip on the warm liquid. When Colton comes into the kitchen, I point at his cup. “There’s yours.”
“Thanks.” He shoots me a grin before picking up his coffee. He comes to stand right next to me, also leaning against the counter. We glance at each other, and it makes a blush spread over my cheeks.
It’s still unbelievable that we kissed yesterday.
Cassie’s gaze drifts over us, and when she tilts her head, frowning at us, I quickly lift the mug to hide the smile on my face behind it.
“Did I miss something?” she asks, a teasing tone to her voice.
Colton lets out a chuckle, then he whispers to me, “We might as well tell her now.”
My eyes widen as I look up at him. “Huh?”
“Brie and I…”
Nooooo.
I quickly put the cup down and then cover Colton’s mouth with my hand. My eyes dart from him to Cassie, then back to him, and standing on my toes, I whisper right by his ear, “You can’t tell your mom we kissed.”
Colton begins to laugh, and pulling my hand away, he says, “I wasn’t going to.” He places his arm around my shoulder and pulls me against his side. “Isn’t she cute?” he asks Cassie.
She nods, silently laughing as her eyes never leave us. “I’m going to take a wild guess here. Are the two of you a couple?”
Colton begins to nod. “Yeah.” Then he turns his gaze to me. “Right?”
I let out a chuckle. “Definitely.”
Cassie lets out a squeak and rushing over to us, she hugs us. “I’m so happy.” When she pulls back, she turns her attention back to the pancakes, a contented smile on her face.
I glance up at Colton and don’t have any time to stop him as he presses a quick kiss to my mouth. Again my eyes widen, and I hiss, “Your mom.”
“You don’t mind, right, Mom?” Colton asks, and it sends my face up in flames.
“If you kiss?” Cassie asks playfully. “Not at all. But when things get serious, just remember to use protection.”
Oh, my God. I’m just going to die right now.
I let out a groan and cover my burning cheeks with my hands, making them both laugh.
I’ve decided to wear a navy blue dress and a white cardigan. In a way, it feels like I’m rebelling by not wearing traditional black for the funeral.
Walking down the stairs, I come to a stop when I see Colton, dressed in black suit pants and a white button-up shirt. I watch him shrug on the jacket over his broad shoulders.
He doesn’t look like a senior, but instead a man. A very attractive man. There’s a weird sensation in my abdomen, and slapping a hand over it, I slowly walk closer.
“Are you ready?” he asks when he notices me.
“Yeah.”
Cassie comes rushing down the stairs, checking her purse. “I think I have everything.” Then her eyes fall on me. “You look so pretty.”
“Thank you.” I gesture at the black dress she’s wearing. “You look pretty, as well.”
“Okay, let’s do this,” Colton says, and sucking in a deep breath, he opens the front door.
We walk to his truck, and when he opens the passenger door, he murmurs, “Ladies.”
“You can sit in the middle, Brie.” Cassie nudges my back lightly.
Getting in, I scoot up to make space for Cassie. Once we’re all in the cab, and Colton puts the truck in reverse, the back of his hand brushes against my knee. It sends sparks racing over my skin.
“Goosebumps,” he whispers before placing his arm behind me so he can pull the vehicle out of the driveway.
I shouldn’t be grinning like an idiot right now, but I can’t help it. Sitting so close to him has all the butterflies throwing a party in my stomach.
I’m so going to hell.
“Can you stop at the flower shop? I want to get fresh ones for Brady,” Cassie says, and it instantly changes the vibe in the cab from happy to sad.
“Sure.”
My eyes dart up to Colton’s face, and when I see the hard line of grief around his mouth, I move my hand from my lap to his thigh. His hand instantly covers mine.
Colton pulls up to the store, and while Cassie runs inside, he leans down and presses a soft kiss to my mouth. His lips linger on mine for a couple of seconds before he lifts his head. “How are you holding up?”
“Good.” I scrunch my nose. “I’d rather be home watching movies, but…” I let out a sigh, then ask, “And you?”
“I’d also rather watch movies.” He grins. “Lying on the couch with you. Stealing kisses.”
I smile back at him. “I meant, how do you feel about going to the cemetery? Are you okay with it?”
Colton nods, and his eyes dart over to the sidewalk before they come back to me. “I’ll be okay. Plus, I think it’s a good opportunity to introduce you to Brady.”
Cassie opens the passenger door, and I take the bouquet of lilies from her, so she can climb in.
A couple of minutes later, Colton parks outside the Methodist church. I watch as people I’ve never seen before walk into the building.
Cassie opens the door, and it has me asking, “Can we wait until everyone’s inside?”
“Sure.”
A weird feeling spreads through my chest as I watch everyone go inside, and I mutter, “So many people. Did any of them even know my mother, or are they here for my grandparents?”
“Probably here for the press,” Colton replies as he points toward the news vans.
“That’s not good,” Cassie adds. “Stick between Colton and me. If any of them start asking you questions, we’ll leave right away.”
“Okay.”
When the sidewalk is quieter, we climb out. Crossing the road, I ask, “Can we sit in the back somewhere?”
“Of course.”
Colton takes the lead as we near the church. It’s cold inside, and I’m glad I’m wearing a cardigan. My gaze darts over the rows filled with strangers, and knowing my grandparents will be upfront, my eyes settle on the couple in the first row.
I expected to feel something… anything, but instead, there’s nothing as I look at them. Colton takes my hand and pulls me into the second last row, where we take a seat.
Not My Hero: Black Mountain Academy Page 17