by J. C. Reed
Crap.
How can I explain it? The feeling of betrayal. The desperate need to believe his excuses. Is believing lies easier than acknowledging the truth?
I don’t want to lose him—that’s it. That’s what keeps me trapped in a vicious cycle.
“I so want to punch that fucker. I hope you gave his ass a good kicking.”
I laugh. “Actually, I didn’t. I chose to forgive him.”
Sylvie’s mouth drops open. “No!”
“Yeah, I did,” I say, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. “Right after the court order, he called me on a friend’s phone, saying that the situation at home was heated and tense. And I gave him one more chance. He said he was going to sort it out and that once I’m out of here, he’ll take me out.”
Sylvie starts to shake her head again. “How can you do that?” She sounds so shocked, I can barely contain a laugh.
“Because I love him, silly.”
I meet her eyes and see pity reflected in them. Her concern causes another lump in my throat.
“That’s why you need this place.” Her words sound so resolute, I almost believe them. “Sorry, that came out wrong. I didn’t mean to imply that you’re crazy. It’s just—”
“It’s fine.” I take a deep breath. “I’m sure he misses me and something good will come out of this experience. I want to leave everything behind—the fear, the anguish—and start anew. I want to come out stronger. I want to prove to him that we can beat this. We’ll start over again, but this time everything will be different. That’s what he said. That’s what I choose to believe, too.”
She looks at me for a long time. “You know there’s nothing wrong with you, right? He’s the one who should be held accountable for this mess.”
I turn my head away. That’s what my counselor said this morning, right before I began a shouting marathon.
“How’s your roommate?” I ask.
The change in topic isn’t subtle, but Sylvie bites.
“Don’t get me started.” She laughs.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He’s a designer, and so playing for the other team,” Sylvie says with the kind of excitement that’s usually reserved for Prada warehouse sales. “When I complimented him on his work, he asked me to help him create a custom clothing line and even invited me to a runway event as a guest.”
“Oh.” I say, surprised. “So, he doesn’t run around naked?”
The words make it out before I can stop them.
She lets out another laugh. “Hell, no.” Her face lights up as realization sinks in. “Are you saying yours does?”
“Aren’t they all?” I swallow. “Sex addicts, I mean.”
“No. Mine definitely doesn’t take off his clothes more than is necessary.” Her eyes narrow as a soft smile plays her lips. “Looks like someone’s messing with you.”
“He’s not—”
“Well, I hope he didn’t ask you out, because that would be so totally against the rules,” Sylvie says.
Rules.
I forgot the rules.
As if reading my mind, Sylvie frowns. “Don’t tell me you haven’t read them yet?”
“I forgot, alright.”
“You need to read them.” She leans forward in a conspiratorial way. “My counselor told me at the end of my session that they’re pretty strict about it.”
“I broke off my first therapy session, so she probably didn’t get the chance to remind me. Why? What’s the most important rule?”
“You’re not allowed to fuck your roommate. Obviously.”
“Oh.” Obviously.
Kade’s almost naked body pops into my mind.
“Between me and you, I think it’s an experiment.” She drops her voice further. “You haven’t slept with him, have you? Because if you have, you’re both in so much trouble.”
“No. God, no.” I let out a noise that remotely sounds like laughter, but it comes out a bit too shrill. Heat begins to scorch my cheeks. I was so close to saying yes when he asked me out.
Too close, and I don’t even know him.
“Vicky?” Sylvie’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
I smile at her. “Don’t worry about me. He’s not my type,” I say, my voice a bit too breathy. “Even though he’s funny, easygoing, and…”
Hot.
And built like a rock star god. But he’s still not my type.
Or, is he?
Shut up. Shut up.
“He’s okay. Just okay. In a friends kind of way.” I add quickly, “But let’s say someone broke the rules, what’s the worst thing that could happen? Being grounded or what?” I take another sip of my tea and almost choke on it. Now that’s cold, it’s way too spicy and burning my throat.
“Should you decide to break the rules, they’ll transfer you abroad and the treatment will take at least twice as long. I’ve heard they’ll even subject you to controlled visits afterwards.”
“Oh.”
Sounds like a load of BS to me. I mean, this is a treatment center, not exactly Guantanamo Bay.
“But you didn’t sleep with him, so there’s nothing to worry about,” Sylvie says as she eyes my cup of tea. “Are you ready for the big tour? I bet you haven’t seen the communal kitchen yet.”
Chapter Nine
Kaiden
She may be just a woman, but to me she’s paradise in a place that’s Hell.
For the last three days, I’ve fought to get into a routine while mainly doing four things: eat, sleep, attend sessions with my counselor, and work out. My thoughts, however, have been occupied by the many ways I want to have her, be inside her, stilling my thirst that stretches as deep as a canyon. Every time I pass her room, I fight the very real urge to knock down her door so I can kiss her and carry her to my bed, where she should be.
A distraction is what I need—if only to clear my mind, get rid of the thoughts that have been plaguing me day and night. Thoughts that make no sense. Usually, I’m not someone who’s wasting his breath on a woman when there’s no way I’m hooking up with her as long as there’s a chance that I’m losing my seat on the company board. And yet here I am, fantasizing about a woman I’ve known less than three days.
A woman I can’t even say I like.
According to my schedule, love addicts have their therapy sessions in the morning. Ours are in the afternoon.
As soon as the door to the apartment closes, I check the hall to make sure she’s gone and indeed find no sign of her. Satisfied, I settle on the sofa in the living room and speed-dial the one number I know won’t let me down.
Cash might not be as responsible and word-savvy as my brother, but as a club owner and my best friend, he always knows what I need: a quick pep talk.
After three rings, he picks up. His voice is heavy with sleep, as if I’ve just woken him up. “Kade? Is that you?”
“Who else would it be?”
“I didn’t realize you’d be calling so soon. I thought you’d be busy fucking all the nurses, and then calling to tell me all about it.”
“Yeah, I thought so, too, but life has a way of fucking up your plans when you least expect it.” As I fall silent, I make out the hushed voice of a woman.
I frown.
“Do you have someone over?” Oh, wait. It’s not one voice. It’s two. I lean back, a wry smile on my face as I realize what I’m missing. “Am I interrupting your threesome?”
“No. To be honest, I expected your call. Give me a sec to get rid of them.” Hushed voices again and steps. Eventually, the sound of a door closing and a heavy chair being moved.
“Please don’t tell me your ass is back in California,” Cash is back on.
I let out a laugh. “Come on, man. I may be many things, but I’m not stupid enough to lose my seat. I worked my ass off for that company. I sure as fuck won’t be walking away just to chase some pussy. I’m not sure though how I feel about you having a party of three while I’m gone.”
“It wa
sn’t a party. I crashed a wedding and decided to take my dessert home.”
“Two, huh?” I shake my head even though he can’t see me. “Make sure to wear a condom. Otherwise you’ll soon be paying for child support. Not that you couldn’t afford it.”
He lets out a laugh. “So, what’s up?”
“Not much. I’m good. Really good.”
“Yeah?” He sounds unconvinced.
“Once I’m done here, I might be quitting my job to become a counselor.” My words are rewarded with dead silence, so I continue, “My first group session was nice. Lots of handholding. Plenty of support and understanding. I’ve come to realize I have a lot of issues and that I haven’t been the real me in a long time. My point is, having so much meaningless sex is blocking my spiritual path and yours as well. You should give rehab a try.”
“Are you bullshitting me right now? There’s no way you’d give up your sex life.”
I let out a laugh as I imagine my best friend’s shocked expression. “Damn right I wouldn’t. I was just quoting my counselor.” I lean back against the sofa and prop my legs up on the table. “So, buddy, is the other half of the world doing okay without me?”
“Obviously, you’re being sorely missed, but I’ve vowed to make you proud. I was doing fine before you called.” There’s the unmistakable sound of a glass being set down on the table. “I gather you managed to sneak in your phone.”
“Thanks to your invaluable advice, I did.”
Cash came up with the idea of hiding it in my boxers, assuring me that no one would pat me down. My boxers are tight enough without my smartphone, so the even more defined bulge earned me a few interested looks, but no one dared make a comment.
“How are you holding up?” Cash asks.
I grimace. “I’m not going to pretend it’s been smooth sailing so far.”
“No shit?” The hint of amusement is unmistakable. “Are there no good-looking women to keep your mind occupied?”
“It’s not that. It’s worse. There’s plenty of them; I’m just not allowed to fuck any.”
Cash laughs. “Come on, man. Don’t tell me you didn’t see that one coming.”
“Yeah, I did, but that doesn’t mean I’m okay with it.” I take a sip of my soda and wince at the sweet taste. “I feel like I’m being prepared for the end of times.”
“No, Kade, it’s not the Rapture. Six weeks are nothing, you’ll see.”
“It still feels that way. Six weeks feels like six centuries for my cock.” I move over to the kitchen and grab a bottle of water. “It’s barely been seventy-two hours and I’m already feeling like a thirsty man in the desert. They won’t even hook me up with a porn channel. Heck, some magazines would do.”
“Why don’t you use your imagination?” Cash asks.
I grimace. “You know me. I’m not particularly good at jerking off, all alone with nothing but my imagination. I may be good at my job, but I’d rather go for the real deal rather than imagine it.” I cock my head to the side. “Maybe I’ve had too many women, but no one long enough to recall a face.”
Or a particular body.
However, last night, when I jerked off, it was her I thought of.
Her face, her eyes. All in precise detail.
She has such a pretty mouth, all soft lips and little freckles on her nose. I imagined the way she moves, as if she owns the world, and the way she frowns.
Her shoulders are petite and rounded; her skin is the color of alabaster.
She has wide hips and a tight, perky ass.
Her legs look strong, as if she used to be a dancer. Judging from the way she moves, it sure would make sense. I so would do a dancer right now.
My cock stiffens, reminding me that I’m in desperate need of sex.
“You might be right,” Cash says.
“And it doesn’t exactly help that I have a living arrangement situation.”
“Which is?”
“I’m roomed with a woman.”
“You’re roomed with a woman?” Cash asks in disbelief.
“Yeah.”
There’s a short silence. “No way. You’re bullshitting me.”
“I’ve been assigned a new roommate,” I say slowly. “The rehab's freshest meat, for the next six weeks. We’re basically sleeping wall to wall.”
“Get out.” I wince as Cash lets out a roaring laugh. “Oh, shit. You’re serious?”
“Yes, I am,” I say, irritated that my best friend finds my dilemma funny.
“Dude, I’m so glad I’m not you. That sounds like a nightmare.”
“She’s a lot of things. A nightmare is definitely one of them.”
“You think she’s hot.”
“Like you wouldn’t believe it.” I close my eyes, and the image of her red hair brushing her shoulders flashes before my eyes. “Under any other circumstances, I would fuck her.”
“Why don’t you?”
“Because she’s crazy.”
“That’s your kind,” Cash says. “I don’t think you’ve ever done normal.”
“Not that kind,” I reply. “She’s like batshit crazy.”
“How crazy are we talking about?”
“Let me think.” I pause and think back to all the crazy shit that’s ever happened in my life. “Remember when I stopped giving out my phone number because of that woman who kept calling and went on to stalk me for nearly a year?”
“You mean Joanna?”
“You still know her name?” I ask, surprised.
“Hell, yeah, I do. She worked the bar at one of my clubs. As I recall, I explicitly told you not to fuck her. I told you she had issues, but you wouldn’t listen.”
“You weren’t explicit enough,” I say with a smile. “Anyway, this one’s just like her. A stalker.”
“You’re saying that—”
“—I’m roomed with a fucking love addict.”
“Shit,” Cash says slowly after a pause. “No sex addict, then. I feel for you.”
“Sex couldn’t be further from her mind. But the problem lies elsewhere: she’s into someone else. So even if I wanted to, she would not be interested,” I say. “Bro, I’m facing a crisis here. I need to hook up with someone. And quick before I lose my fucking mind.”
“What do you need?”
“Good question.” I lean against the fridge. “Do you think you can arrange something to make this all a little easier on me? You know, get me out of here for a couple hours.”
He lets out another roaring laugh. “Are we talking about breaking you out? Already? You’ve barely been in there for what—three days?”
“Come on. We’re only talking about an hour or two. Let’s hit a club. Meet some chicks. Have a few drinks. Help me get the chance to finish my 365-day, non-stop sex calendar. I only skipped yesterday, so it doesn’t really count. I’m so close.”
“How close?” I can hear the excitement in his voice.
“Just one left, and you’ll hear the dong.”
“Damn. You’ve really gone through with it?” Cash’s voice echoes through the line, heavy with disbelief. “I thought you gave up long ago.”
“A bet is a bet. Do I look like someone who’s ready to lose?”
“I didn’t think you would take it so seriously.”
“Well, I have. So don’t waste the five hundred bucks you owe me because I’m almost ready to pick up my check.”
“Almost,” Cash says, laughing. “Alright. I’m going to help. You still have your phone?”
“I wouldn’t be talking to you if I didn’t.”
“Good, don’t lose it. I can arrange for a driver to pick you up this Friday.”
“Why Friday?”
“I’m opening another club. There’s someone I want you to meet. She’s a new dancer I hired last week. I think you’ll like her. You’re absolutely her type: young, rich, and an asshole.”
I let the asshole comment slide, because to be honest, I don’t care what Cash thinks of me.
“I
f you weren’t a club owner, you’d probably make a good pimp, you know?”
“That wouldn’t be my career choice.”
“What would be?” I ask, interested, and take another gulp of my drink.
“Making great movies and asking you to be the lead actor.” The dirty connotation is unmistakable. I shouldn’t have mentioned the missing porn channel.
I grimace. “I love sex, but I wouldn’t want to make money off of it. Give it a few more days here though, and I might be telling you a different story.”
“Two more days and you’ll have your fun.”
“Thanks. I owe you big time.”
“Yeah, you do. I’m most certainly not doing this for free. I mean, let’s face it, the 365 days are up. But I’ll help under one condition.”
“Which is?”
“I want you to fuck your roommate.”
My heart speeds up as Vicky’s image flashes before my eyes. “What if I don’t want to do that?”
There’s a short pause, but the silence is ominous, heavy with the promise of bad news.
“Then you’ll lose the bet.” I open my mouth to protest, but Cash continues, “As you might recall, when we made that bet, we also agreed that I’d get the chance to point to anyone and you’d have to fuck her. Well, I haven’t used that card yet. So, here’s my condition: I want her to be the last on the list. It goes without saying that any women you might have in between don’t count. Including the dancer I’ll arrange for you to meet.”
“I don’t know,” I say, hesitating. This could work. Besides, I’m not one to say ‘no’ to a challenge.
“It shouldn’t be too difficult,” Cash says. “Most women dig bad boys. However, my gut feeling tells me that’s not what she needs. Patience is not your best virtue, so, me being your best friend and all, I suggest you play the friends card. Do we have a deal?”
I let the thought sink in for a moment.
Cash might be spot on about her.
I close my eyes and take a breath. “I can take all the time I need?” I ask warily.
“Of course.”
This can’t be too hard.
A woman like her is in desperate need of romance and love, and I know exactly how to lavish attention on her. Besides, I can plan this carefully, make her want me with everything she’s got, and then strike on the last day, right before I leave this place.