by J. C. Reed
She opens her mouth, drawing a slow breath, then lets it out slowly. “That’s right.”
“Look, Vicky.” I let go of her face and brace my palms against the shelf, leaning into her. My weight’s keeping her from shifting, but she doesn’t seem to mind. “I don’t care if you’re addicted to me because I could just as well say I’m addicted to fucking you. I’ll be honest with you, I want to fuck you—bad. I want it not just once, but again and again. That breaks the golden promise I once made to myself. I believe it breaks most of them.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I don’t want to stop now. There’s no way I’m giving up what we have. Not yet.”
“You still want to continue despite knowing I’m obsessive.”
I nod. “That’s the thought, yes. We have a good thing going. What’s the harm in that?”
She laughs, the sound bitter and sad. “What’s the harm? We could get caught, Kade.”
“You knew that when we started this. Why the sudden fear?”
“Because I feel like I’m moving into unknown territory,” she whispers. “This addiction of mine represents everything I’ve grown to hate about me. There’s this constant fear. Uncertainty. Since being here, I’ve realized my greatest mistake is that I tend to live in the future rather than the present. I used to pin all my hopes and wishes on people who never intended to stay around. As you can see, it didn’t work out too well for me.”
“It’s a good thing you realized that because I want us to live in the present and not focus on tomorrow. I want us to focus on us.” I stare at her, letting my words sink in. “You have something I need, and I can give you something you want. Call it a symbiosis. An intimate relationship with no commitment, but one that is of mutual benefit.”
Her lips twitch. “Are you comparing us with trees and spores?”
“Something like that.” I lean into her, brushing my lips against hers. “I’m into you, Vicky. I just don’t do relationships. I never made a secret out of that fact. If there’s a chance that we can help each other, then I don’t think we should stop. I just think we should make our own rules.”
“Rules?”
“Yeah. Rules.” I trace her cheekbone with my finger, cupping her face again. “Rule number one: you need to be honest with me at all times.” My thumb glides over her full lips that are quivering under my touch. “Rule number two: I want you to act on your desires. I honestly believe that sometimes the things that keep you obsessed are the things that might help you heal. If you want to touch me, go on and touch me. If you think of me, don’t just think. Act on your urge. If sex is what you crave, then let me fuck you.”
“What’s number three?” she whispers just as short of breath as I feel.
“Why do you assume there’s a rule number three?”
“Because the first two rules only seem to apply to me. You haven’t mentioned yourself yet.”
My lips curl into a smile. “This isn’t one of my rules so much as a general fact about me, but I’m going to teach you that love is overrated and sex is a cure.”
She laughs briefly. “That sounds wrong on so many levels.”
“How can sex be wrong? Sex doesn’t break your heart. Sex doesn’t need kindness to work out. Sex is never patient. It rarely boasts, and it always makes you feel good.”
“Did you just make that up?”
I look at her, wondering the same thing. “Maybe. All I’m saying is that I want you to let go of your limitations, fear, and expectations. Stop thinking about what’s wrong and live a little.”
“What about rehab?”
“What about it?” I shrug. “I am here voluntarily. I could leave at any time, but I choose to stay because my company’s important to me. This is all a show I’m putting on. Doesn’t mean I really have a problem.”
As I say the words, I realize how empty and hollow they are. I might have believed them not too long ago. But something has changed. Yes, my company’s important to me, but so is Vicky. I refuse to let her go just as much as I won’t lose the very thing I built up from scratch. This isn’t a show any longer, and my bet with Cash is no longer what drives me to pursue Vicky, which is why I haven’t yet mentioned to him that the deed’s been done.
Vicky regards me for a few moments. “I knew you’d say that.” Her words sound strange. Maybe a bit bitter but not angry. I don’t know what to make of them.
I wrap my hands around her waist, pulling her close. “I do feel a great level of attraction to you. What you see is how I feel about you. I want you. I desire you. I crave you in any way I can have you. Right now, I’m thinking of tearing this thing off your body and fucking you on the spot. I want to go on a journey inside your body, discover the world with you. I want to be your favorite place. I want you to be your true self with me.”
She’s changing her mind right before my eyes. I can see it from the way she’s chewing her lower lip, sucking it into her mouth. I want her like I’ve never wanted anyone else before. But admitting that part to her is never going to happen. If the very idea of getting involved in a sexual relationship with me scares her to death, admitting my level of fondness for her would drive her away forever.
“What happens after this?” she asks warily.
I don’t know that. I don’t know what I’m feeling or thinking. I just know that I crave her. Everything about her. And it pains me to see just how hesitant she is to the possibility of seeing me again after rehab’s over.
“Who cares? I want you now and don’t give a damn about tomorrow.” I cringe at the words. Cringe at the fact that she’s nodding her head in agreement, as though I’m saying all the things she wants to hear from me.
The realization feels like a punch to my stomach.
This isn’t me. I barely recognize myself. Barely recognize my reactions to her blatant emotional aversion to me.
As if to regain some of my old self, I move my hand between her legs, stroking her pussy over her dress. “I want to find that hidden spot inside you and mark it as mine. I want you to know how much I want you and find out if you’re brave enough to want me back.”
At least that’s the truth.
“Kade, what are you doing?” She throws her head back and swallows a moan as my fingers find their way beneath her dress.
Her panties are soaked with want. That’s all the invitation my dick needs. I take in her expression—a mixture of fearfulness and excitement.
“What do you think?” I pull her panties down her hips and unzip my jeans. My hard shaft jerks to life, demanding that it finally finds its way home, as a hurricane of need and desire spreads through my entire body.
“We can’t. What if someone sees us?”
“We’ll think of something.” I slowly thrust my finger inside her and curl it to find her sweet spot. “I love how wet you are.”
“Kade.” Moaning my name, she closes her eyes and throws her head back. My teeth graze her neck as my finger finds its rhythm inside her. “I know what you need. I know how to heal you. Let me be the one who fixes you.”
My mouth finds hers in a slow kiss, our tongues entangled in a slow, erotic dance. She tastes like cinnamon and sunshine. Like all the things I love and cannot have.
I thrust deeper, my whole body coming alive as I drag her into another kiss. “Is this what you like?” I whisper into her open mouth.
“Yes,” she moans in that sexy voice of hers and grinds into my hand. “More.”
I want to give her more. So much more. I’d love to give her more every day of the week.
Slowly, I pull out my fingers and spread her moisture to prepare her.
“No. Don’t stop.” Her eyes are glazed over, her lips pouting, mirroring her displeasure.
I suck her lower lip into my mouth as I position her against the door and myself between her legs. She doesn’t need any invitation to spread them apart.
I place both of my hands under her ass and lift her up, splaying her wider open than s
he’s probably ever been.
Her eyes meet mine. “Kade, I—”
I don’t give her doubts enough time to get in the way of things. Before she can protest, I stroke my cock between her swollen lips, up over her clit, and then back down to her slit, sliding into her—all the way in.
She gasps and grabs onto my shoulders for support.
“You make me so fucking hard, Vicky,” I say and start to rock my hips.
My hand fists in the hair at the nape of her neck as I pull out of her and thrust back in. Between my tight grip and the door keeping her in place, she’s completely at my mercy, but she doesn’t seem to mind.
“Yes.” Her lips part and she throws her head back, moaning. Her pussy clenches around my cock. I can feel she’s close to the edge. Seeing her beautiful face lost in her lust for me sends tiny explosions through my body.
I cup her ass and lift her just a little higher, letting me dive balls deep into her.
“I promised myself it would only be a one-time thing,” I groan and bite the tendon at the base of her neck. She gasps for air. “But I can’t get enough of you.”
“Fuck, yes, Kade. Don’t stop.” The sounds she makes sets me on fire for her. I force myself to fuck her slow and steady. Her nipples are standing on end, poking through the thin fabric of her dress. I want to suck them into my mouth, to make her squirm and scream my name. But I’m in no rush. There’s time for that later, in the privacy of my bedroom, where I’ll have her tonight.
“You’re so tight and wet, baby. I love it.”
Taking her lower lip between her teeth, she looks up at me. The expression in her eyes reveals her desperation for finding release. As much as I want to prolong our little session, someone could come in any second. We can’t risk being found out; not as long as I haven’t had enough of her.
I thrust into her hard and stay there, rocking barely an inch in and out of her. Her pussy muscles clench around me. I move my hand between our slick bodies and find the little nub. The combination of my hard cock inside her and my fingers brushing over her clit does the trick. She erupts with a cry of pleasure that makes me plunge into my own orgasm. I pump into her with a groan, spreading my load as she continues to clamp her pussy around me. She angles her hips to meet my last stroke and plunges into another orgasm.
Even though we’re both panting and spent I take my sweet time setting her down and pulling out of her.
I arrange her dress around her hips. “Are you okay?”
She nods and smiles. “Better than in a long time.”
I lean into her to kiss her lips. “I want you in my room tonight. I expect you right after dinner.”
Her eyes narrow on me and that suspicion of hers is back. “Why?”
“Because I have plans for us. And that involves being naked and lots of screaming.”
She opens her mouth to protest when I place my finger against her lips, silencing her. “And don’t be late, unless you want me to tie you to my bed and torture you until you’ll beg me for release.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Vicky
It’s a chilly Sunday afternoon. I’m taking my regular walk, lost in thought, when I get the distinct feeling that I’m being followed.
I spin around and almost bump into Kade.
“Whoa, there.” His hands go around my waist to steady me, pulling me a little too close to him.
“Jesus.” Pressing my hand against my chest, I exhale a sharp breath and peer around us to make sure no one’s seen us. “You scared the life out of me.” I want to be angry with him, but I can’t. He looks so carefree with that lazy smile on his lips and the sun catching his eyes, that for a moment I almost forget who we are and why we’re here.
For a moment, it feels as though he’s someone I’ve known forever.
Someone I’ve started to like way more than I should. I don’t even know when it happened. Maybe the feeling’s been here all along. Or maybe it started the moment I realized that even though he only wants my body, during those moments together he made me feel as though he treasured it.
As though he treasured me.
“I thought I’d take a turn being a stalker. You know, shake things up a little.” He guides me to a nearby tree and presses me against it. We’re shielded from the rehab building and the windows overlooking the back, but that doesn’t mean people walking by couldn’t see us.
Even though the weather’s been rainy, a few rays of sun are shining through the heavy curtain of gray clouds. Squinting, I reach up to brush Kade’s hair out of his eyes and marvel at just how right it feels to have his hard body press into me.
This won’t last.
My mood drops a little at the thought, but I won’t allow myself to go there. All that counts is the present.
“Don’t tell me you’ve been following me all the way up here.”
He laughs. “To be honest, walking isn’t really my thing.” He tilts his head to the right. I follow his line of vision and notice a mountain bike leaned against a tree.
“Where did you get the bike?” I watch his lips twitch and frown. “On second thought, don’t answer me if it involves anything illegal. I won’t be your partner in crime.”
“Anything that doesn’t carry a lock and an explicit warning, can be borrowed.”
I gape at him, unable to decide whether to laugh or be shocked.
“How about we take a trip around the island and visit the local museum? Group meeting’s been canceled, so we might as well enjoy the day together.”
“I’m pretty sure most tourist attractions are closed.”
“We can still look around, spin our own stories about the early settlements.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “I bet we’ll see some interesting things inside.”
I let out an exasperated laugh. “You’re not seriously thinking about breaking in.”
“Who says anything about breaking in?” Kade says gravely, but his tone can’t fool me. “Come on. It’ll be fun. We’ll have a bottle of cabernet sauvignon and maybe watch the sun set on the beach.”
“You brought wine?”
He points at the bike again. “The most expensive…available in rehab, which is a ten-dollar bottle.”
“I’m impressed. How could a girl possibly decline?”
“You have to promise me something first. Don’t get drunk on me again. My arms are still aching from carrying you back to our apartment.”
He had to bring that part up. Slapping his shoulder, I look at him. Really look at him and realize it comes as no surprise women are throwing themselves at him. I mean, everything seems so easy with him.
“You in?” Kade prompts.
I close my eyes. “Kaiden Wright. You’re going to break me.”
The breaking part is meant as a joke, and yet it isn’t.
“Your will?” He steals a soft kiss that feels like my legs have just sped off in the distance—leaving me behind. I lean into him, wanting more but he pulls away, continuing, “There’s no chance I’ll let that happen. Before I break you, you’ll have to rip me to pieces first, because I would rather lose my heart than be without you.” He looks at me before adding softly, “As a friend, of course.”
Of course.
He’s made that part clear on so many occasions that it shouldn’t come as a surprise. And yet a heavy weight grows inside my chest, cutting off my air supply.
But what choice do I have?
His words are sweet as honey, and yet meaningless. Even though I shouldn’t, I want to be close to him. I simply can’t stay away.
“Okay. Let’s do this.” I turn to head down the narrow path when his hand clasps around mine, stopping me.
“We’re taking the bike.”
I shoot a wary look at the bicycle. That thing doesn’t look like it’s made for two people. In fact, I doubt anyone should be riding on it. “Are you kidding me? It can’t carry us both.”
“You’re scared.” His eyes are glinting with something, and his expression softens. “I
’ll teach you. It’s not hard.”
“What if I fall off?”
He lets go of my hand and cups my chin, tipping it back until I’m forced to look at him.
“If you fall, I’ll be there to catch you. There’s no way I’d ever let you get hurt.” He kisses me on the corner of my lips, lingering on my lower lip. His touch is soft, gentle, his soul fused with mine. His fingers trail down my back, kneading the knots in my muscles.
“Ready to give it a try?” he asks, pulling away.
I nod, still intoxicated from his kiss. His strong hands hold me steady as he lifts me onto the handlebars. I long to hold on to them, to stay in his arms for a little longer, but like everything else that’s too good in life, his embrace is over too soon. My whole body tenses as he gives the bike a push and settles onto the seat.
As the bicycle rolls down the path, I jerk forward, my legs dangling in the air. A startled yelp escapes my throat, followed by a shriek of relief and laughter.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this.” It’s both fun and exhilarating. Having conquered my fear, I feel like I’m on top of the world with Kade right beside me.
“You’re doing great, baby,” Kade says, joining in my laughter. I love the sound—deep and manly, the waves carrying through my body and leaving a delicious tingle behind.
I want to peer at him over my shoulder, but my confidence is not there. For one, I could still fall off. And then there’s also the fact that I might like what I see a little too much.
We circle around the island in silence while the wind’s playing with my hair and my body’s relaxing more and more with every passing moment. For the first time, I really feel alive and free, as though we’ve escaped the web of time.
I only notice that we’ve reached the historical site—a red brick building—when the bicycle comes to a halt and Kade jumps down, catching me in his arms.
“We’re here,” he says, needlessly.
I nod and stare up at him. This is the moment I should be prying myself away from his arms, but all I can think about is that he smells of the sun and the woods around us. The nerves inside my body fire all at once, and my insides clench in response. I want to snuggle up against him and run my hands up and down his ripped torso. Beg him to take me to a secluded spot and guide him inside me so he can fill the space that’s always empty without him.