I remember my business partner saying, “Lesser men would have caved and let the wife go home.” But that’s not me. There was no freaking way we were going to miss that trip. I could have gone by myself, I guess, but it honestly never occurred to me that leaving my wife behind would be an acceptable outcome.
You can’t let a brick wall stop you. You must figure out a way around it. Don’t let the “no” wolves stop you from continuing down the path to the next village.
Mandolin Moments
Life is more than just outsmarting wolves. My great-uncle spent the majority of his time bringing joy to many people as he played his mandolin throughout the Apennine villages of Abruzzo. As your business, wealth, and influence grows, you have a responsibility to share the privileges of life with others.
Success breeds success. As I became more and more successful, I began noticing more and more successful, interesting people were joining my circle. Spending time around those interesting people often resulted in our creating a new business idea together. Also, now that I have the ability to afford it, I’ve been able to travel the world, and as a result, I’ve enjoyed some great countries and cultures. We’ve taken exotic cruises, and I’ve been able to give my executives those experiences too because I believe that treating people well comes back to you in more ways than you can imagine, and I’ve seen that play out time and time again.
Whether you call it karma or God’s blessing, I do believe that doing well by your colleagues, partners, staff, and fellow men will come back to you, many times over. That’s also how I’ve forged amazing working relationships with some of the celebrities I’ve collaborated with. I don’t want to be the guy with my hand out. I never, ever ask them for money. We make a deal, and they get the checks as we split the profits.
What’s the point of making a lot of money and having a lot of success in life if you’re not sharing it with the world around you? It’s this very thought that came to mind when I first considered creating the Vallorani Estates brand.
I was enjoying the best cigar I’d ever had. At hand sat palatial perfection in the form of an imported Italian wine from Colli del Tronto’s Vigneti Vallorani, and I could smell freshly roasted coffee from where I sat, looking out over the same landscape I had once viewed from the top of Kennesaw Mountain.
How can I hoard these mandolin moments? How can I hold back for myself the enjoyment of life’s privileges? It was then that I knew my next entrepreneurial endeavor would be about helping the world around me savor the mandolin moments, not just outsmart the wolves.
Lead people
Don’t manage human resources. I absolutely abhor the term human resources. People are not human resources. They are human beings with families and dreams. It is my hope that one of the big contributions to my success has been how I lead people. For the most part, my leadership philosophy came naturally but also incrementally. Through my experiences, I would see what worked and didn’t work.
A few years ago, my COO, Liz, suggested that our executive team read The Orange Revolution. I highly recommend this book. It solidifies what I had come to realize over my years in management: You will get much further with a carrot in front than a stick behind. You will get more from your employees by inspiring them to achieve the company mission than you will by making them afraid of what will happen if they mess up.
Always have something ahead that’s good. Always provide encouragement and incentive. Always have a goal you want the team to achieve. But at the same time, as is well-known, you can’t get lazy or inattentive without consequence.
When I’m true to myself, I’m a better leader. Not that I can’t learn from other people, but intuitively, I read people well and just follow my instincts, which I think are in my DNA from my dad.
To me it’s the difference between being a boss or a leader. A boss tells you what to do and how to do it and checks to make sure you are doing it. A leader inspires you to do your best and accomplish his vision in your own unique way, and he trusts while he verifies.
My brother Jared once told me, “Tell us what hill to take and we will take it.” Your team should be ready to take any hill for you because they’re inspired by what you’re trying to achieve and not because they’re terrified of the consequences they’ll face if they fail. You’ll also find that they’ll be less likely to fail if they’re inspired instead of hounded!
When someone isn’t performing at the level I hope for, I always start the conversation with a list of what they’re doing right. When I get to the part where I need to confront their deficiency, I preface my comments by saying, “Look. Your greatest strength is also a weakness. I like how this particular trait yields these results, but here’s where it can cause a problem. Let’s address the problem and figure out a solution.” Then I end with, “But overall I’m very pleased.” Creating a sandwich of concern with positive affirmations and praise on either side comes across as less of a personal attack and more of a guide to increased success.
On occasion, middle management will tell me, “So-and-so needs to be fired.” I resist acting on an impulse until I’ve made absolutely sure that, as a leader, I’ve done everything I can to make that person successful. Sometimes, the employee is moved to another department. I coach the employee. I have a “sit-down” to outline what will help to achieve success because when an employee is successful, we all win.
When I do fire employees, it’s the absolute last resort because I put most of the blame on myself if they didn’t achieve success within my company. I want them to succeed! I hired them because I believed in their potential. Generally, when I have to let people go, I have exhausted every means of reaching them, inspiring them, and getting them fully on board. If all this fails to produce the required results, there’s no other option but to end the professional relationship.
Keeping people who are not productive damages the morale of the whole team. It also prevents them from doing something they are really good at and enjoy doing. Don’t keep them out of the market while they limp along in your company for so long that they cannot find successful employment elsewhere.
Enjoy the Good Life
I like traveling to cool places. Nothing quite invigorates the creativity and inspiration required to operate and build businesses as much as the sights, sounds, and smells of a different culture. I also like to dress well, and I’ve noticed that the better I dress, the higher the level of service I enjoy. People simply respond to you differently when you look polished and classy.
The Italians actually have a phrase for it, la bella figura, which translates to “cutting a beautiful figure.” They believe, as do I, that taking pride in how you present yourself to the world changes how the world sees you. There’s a reason many of the top fashion icons of our day are Italian, no?
Everything in life is about marketing. When you dress to present yourself well, you are marketing yourself as someone who cares about the details, who knows how to look good, and who should be listened to. Presenting yourself well also can increase your self-confidence.
The more I experienced this kind of heightened level of living—the exotic travel, the successful people I was meeting, the pleasures of the good life—the more I wanted to use my business knowledge for something more in tune with my personal philosophies. I wanted to take a break from fighting wolves, to play the mandolin until dawn.
It was this new thinking that would eventually bring me back, full circle, to my Italian heritage. In 2016 I determined to create my lifestyle brand, Vallorani Estates, to share the mandolin moments with the world at large.
My goal is to reach the many determined, successful professionals—or those who aspire to be such. These individuals are busy, tired, and, possibly, overworked executives and entrepreneurs who want
. . . need . . . to take a break from fighting the various wolves on their life’s path in order to enjoy the music of the mandolin.
What I
Know to Be True
Risk is essential for success. Among the many things I’ve learned is how and when to take a risk. Consider what will happen if your plan fails and decide if you’re prepared for the consequences. But also weigh the rewards. Go with your gut. Risk is a four-letter word to some people, but for me, accepting risk has been a real game changer and has rewarded me time over time.
The harder and smarter you work, the more opportunities will present themselves. Don’t just take every opportunity. Look for the most promising and then move—and move quickly.
Don’t accept no as an answer. If a bank says no, try another bank. If all banks say no, ask friends for capital to get you through. I’ve done this many times, and I have built an incredible amount of trust because I never, ever fail to pay a debt. I also commit to a pleasant interest to sweeten their sacrifice.
“Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never-in nothing, great or small, large or petty-never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. We stood all alone a year ago, and to many countries it seemed that our account was closed, we were finished. All this tradition of ours, our songs, our School history, this part of the history of this country, were gone and finished and liquidated.”6 -Winston Churchill
CHAPTER NINE
Coming Home: Vallorani Estates
When you rise in the morning, think of what precious privilege it is to be alive, to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.
Marcus Aurelius
I’ve alluded to this sentiment several times. When I read the thoughts Marcus Aurelius penned in Meditations, it was this quote that stood out to me the most. It is a privilege to be alive. Consider the thousands of people in our history who have died from war, plague, famine. What if Luigi had died in battle that day in Libya? What if Big D had followed his brothers to heaven as a baby or been killed during WWII?
Life is, indeed, a privilege and not one that should be taken lightly. Every morning when we awake, we have the opportunity to once again breathe the air, to think of a new idea, to enjoy a strong cup of coffee, to love our family and friends, to lay the foundations of a legacy. Life is a privilege, and my brand focuses on purveying products that help people enjoy those privileges.
Liberty Alliance is still going strong to this day, and along the way, I have learned something very important about myself. Politics and the business of politics are a means to an end. Yes, I am conservative, patriotic, religious, and a capitalist because I believe living with these ideologies and values yields peace, prosperity, and opportunity for all who are willing to reach out and work for them. As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
When you are prosperous and at peace, you want to savor the fruits of your labor—and well you should, for you have earned the right to do so.
My trips to Italy solidified this mind-set. Italians enjoy dinners that last three hours and more. They savor some wine . . . and some more wine. There’s always time to drop everything and spend time with family over a café or a shot of sambuca.
The hospitality for strangers I have witnessed in Italy is nothing short of astounding. Visiting Italy really began to demonstrate to me the vast importance of making the enjoyment of life’s privileges part of your daily life.
Twice, I have had the opportunity to visit cousins descended from Luigi’s second marriage. Without a moment’s hesitation, they put aside their personal plans in order to meet me for dinner. I planned to simply slip away from the area, having said farewell the previous evening after much laughter and camaraderie over freshly made Neapolitan pizza and Italian beer.
“When are you leaving?” my cousin Pietro asked, always practicing his English. “We’ll meet you for café and dolci tomorrow morning.” And they did. One by one, nearly every family member joined us for a moment or two the next morning before proceeding on their busy work day.
Another example of hospitality that absolutely blew me away was when we visited the vineyard from which Vallorani Estates imports wine.
After our tour of the operations, we started to say our goodbyes and thank-yous. Rocco said, “Oh, but wait, we have a lunch prepared for you.”
Rocco’s entire family had never met us before that day, never talked to us, and yet they served us the most amazing multiple-course, homemade meal. They were not begrudging with their hospitality and, certainly, no expectations had been set that they would provide for us. There was not a hint of reluctance in their generosity.
This experience was one of the highlights of the trip, a refreshingly open and warm hospitality given freely to virtual strangers. All I could think while we were sitting at their table in their living room was how much I wanted to share this kind of experience with the world. Life is short. It’s high time we started to enjoy it and the privileges it brings.
On a personal level, I have realized how quickly life passes us by. I am in my forties now, and I have lost my grandmother Edith and my grandfather Big D. My oldest baby girl is now married. The children still at home grow faster and faster each day, it seems. My businesses consume much of my time. When I’m not traveling to expand my brand or build relationships with clients and vendors, I am in meetings, answering the phone, and solving challenges continuously.
We can often become so involved in watching for wolves, eyeing wolves closing in, and escaping from wolves that we miss out on the opportunity to play the mandolin and enjoy the sounds of music wafting on the breeze.
I’ve always been very idealistic and built my businesses on sheer optimism, enthusiasm, idealism, opportunism—everything positive. Early on, I took people at face value and gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. But my naiveté and trusting nature sometimes allowed the wrong people to get too close.
If you become a successful entrepreneur, this may happen to you as well. There will be those people whom you bring in very close and who will turn on you—the wolves in sheep’s clothing, if you will. They have been permitted in your inner circle but betray that trust, causing emotional or financial harm. They have been barred from my life entirely—gone. You can and should forgive, but you can’t remain in a business or personal friendship with those who betray your trust.
Those decisions were difficult, and it has been painful to work through the havoc left in their wake, but each situation has certainly proved to be a valuable learning experience, and my team and I are stronger for having experienced the lesson. Though far from cynical, I’m much shrewder and sharper now, drawing on my inner Luigi to realize that not everyone has good intentions or blemish-free motives and to be cautious of those wolves in sheep’s clothing.
As my businesses experienced explosive growth and those in my life saw me experience success, I began discovering who my true friends were. Some people were envious of me, and some celebrated with me. Eventually, I could count my closest friends on one hand. While success attracts success and thus successful people are attracted to other successful people, others are likely to resent your success. It is simply unavoidable.
Another thing I’ve learned in my forties is that I really know less now than I thought I did when I was younger. I’m less dogmatic than I was ten years ago. A few generations ago, people abstained from discussing religion and politics in polite company. Your personal beliefs were exactly that: personal. You lived your life the way you needed to live it and let everyone else do the same. It was a more tolerant and reasonable way to live, and increasingly, I find myself drawn to that philosophy.
Over the past two decades, I’ve met people with whom I would totally disagree, politically, even religiously, but they are people whose company is enjoyable. They are as interested in me as I am in them. I’ve realized we may not see eye to eye on a topic, but I like them, and I’ll gladly share a drink with them and talk about what we have in common.
When a group of people gather in a room where no two might agree on political or religious platforms, I’ll utilize my ability to get us all talking and having a good time anyway because, let’s face it, there is a lot more to enjoy in life than just controversial topics!
As I get older, what is becoming increasingly attractive and appealing to me is getting together with others to enjoy the good things in life and sharing the music of the mandolin with the world around me rather than divisively arguing about religious or political beliefs.
A desire to share mandolin moments and encourage others to enjoy the privileges life provides is what prompted the creation of my Vallorani Estates brand. Not only am I personally enjoying every product we curate or create, but they’re absolutely the finest products I can recommend. If I’m going to put my name on a product, it must not be mediocre or even good. It must be great.
I’d like to share stories of some of our products with you and explain how and why each of them was chosen to be part of Vallorani Estates.
Vallorani Cigars
One product that really resonates with me is my cigar line. My initial partiality for cigars may be related to the family story of Luigi and the scorpion. I’m always looking for products with that kind of personal feel attached to them. As an adult, I’d learned to enjoy a good cigar as one of life’s great leisurely pleasures because you can’t smoke a cigar in a hurry. It’s the polar opposite of the high-speed living most of us do these days, and much more old world in the sense that the old world still knows how to pause and smell the roses. If you don’t believe me, go to dinner at an Italian’s home in Italy. You’ll be at the table for hours, and you’ll relish every moment.
The Wolves and the Mandolin: Celebrating Life's Privileges In A Harsh World Page 11