Aiden had refused, but a compromise was made for staying at Liv’s old house. It was at least a way to have some privacy and distance from all of them for a while. Especially Cade.
He hadn’t approached, although he had tried to call more than a dozen times. He hadn’t made any attempts in the last week, but it seemed like he was always just there. Even now, he was watching from across the street as I carried laundry through the house. He might have been giving me some distance, but he wasn’t really distant at all. When I glanced over at the window, I saw him on the phone and wondered what, if anything, he was going to do now that he was officially back.
They, I assumed Aiden, had run a news piece about his miraculous return. It'd been a small item in the local news. Man presumed dead, mistaken identity thing. Whoever came up with the garbage, had spun a truly fanciful and believable tale.
But what does a dead man, now alive, do with his time? Does he work? Does he watch a movie? Get back to his life, whatever that was before he left? No. He sits in front of a non-descript condo in the middle of Lakefield and watches the house and the women in it.
I shook my head. There was no sense in trying to understand him. It'd taken a while to feel better about what happened. The embarrassment had faded. Even the anger had faded. Now, all that remained was a deep hurt that I couldn’t seem to squash, no matter how many times I tried.
It was like the period of time right after he’d supposedly died. There was a yearning to see him. A measure of disgust at myself for trusting him and then a longing. I wasn’t being stubborn about it. He would have probably told me otherwise if he’d contacted me. I was trying to work through it, think it through.
Love was ugly sometimes. It made a person put up with the wretchedness of another person’s behavior to the point of stupidity. It also dug in deep and wouldn’t let go no matter how many times a person tried to cut it out or purge it.
Love was family, it was in the friends you made. It was in the smile of a child and the tears of a parent. It bled into things like laughter, quiet moments, hard decisions, and restless dreams. Love didn’t choose kindly sometimes, it didn’t bother with what a person thought. It happened on its own, grew where it wanted, and withered if proven false.
The problem was, in my heart, it remained. I loved him. For all the stupid things he’d done, I couldn’t imagine him not having a good life. If not with me, then with someone that would make him happy. I truly wished it for him when I caught glimpses of his profile from time to time. Right now, I just couldn’t see that life including me.
I sighed and turned away from the front window.
My mother was humming a tune as she walked across the patio in the back. I went to the laundry and set it to run.
The doorbell rang, and I wondered briefly if Cade had finally decided to walk across the street to talk to me.
I took a deep breath and opened the door to find Jake standing on the porch.
“Did you check to see who was on the porch before you opened the door?” he asked. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt for once. Looking every bit like just some guy that had randomly stopped by for a visit.
“Uhm, no.” I replied, glancing at Cade’s car across the street. He was eyeing the house and me with interest.
“Always check, Suzanne,” Jake said nicely. “How are you?”
“Uhm, good, I guess. It’s a nice place to stay.”
He gave me an irritated expression for a moment. “Yeah. You shouldn’t be here, though. Too public.”
I shrugged. “I could have left, Jake. Instead, I’m grocery shopping with half an armada following me through the store. Like that doesn’t look obvious. I’m going stir crazy here as it is. No way am I going to some safehouse to go crazy there.”
“Brock mentioned you were viewing some college courses.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why am I not surprised that he knows that?”
He shrugged. “I stopped being surprised about a week after I met the guy.”
“What’s up?” I asked, noticing for the first time that Jake had kind eyes. I’d only seen him on the job most days, and never in anything but the same kind of suits Holden wore. Without the regular attire, he seemed like a very healthy, good-looking man. But I knew better. He trained with Aiden’s guys, and could be as deadly as the rest of them.
“We have an issue with one of the cameras. Can I come in?”
I opened the door to him and let him walk past me. Glancing at Cade again, who was still staring a hole through me, I hesitated before shutting the door.
“Is he part of the security watch?”
Jake glanced at me briefly, his eyes flicking toward the window. “No, that’s his own thing. Penance or something. That’s what he called it. Aiden is all over his ass to get back on track, but he’s ignoring everyone.”
“Why? He needs to get his life back.”
Jake grimaced for a minute. “He has to want his life back, Suzanne. He’s here, but he’s not here.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, concerned about what he’d said.
He shrugged and opened his mouth to say something, then clamped it shut. It seemed like he was debating for a minute how to answer.
“I always liked you, Suzanne. You never gave us any trouble, and other than being a pain in Cade’s ass, I’ve always thought of you as part of this family thing they have.”
I shook my head. “I’m just a friend. They’re far closer, being married and all. The girls are wonderful, but they’re just friends.”
“Nah, they’re family. So are you. But I understand what you mean. Thing is, that guy out there is still dead. Not sure what went down in Bakersville after we left, but this whole deal with him not wanting his life back is hard to watch. For everyone.”
“That’s not—”
He put a hand on my shoulder. “Hey, no blame from me or anyone else. He can be a dick sometimes. You asked, and I’m telling you what he’s doing. Which is a whole hell of a lot of nothing, but getting into fistfights, stalking this house and drinking himself into misery.”
I frowned. “Wait. What?”
He looked at me questioningly. “He’s fucking up. I guess Logan stored his stuff while he was gone. The guys moved all of it to a house he owns. He’s got a place to go to, he’s got funds. And he’s not doing a damn thing. That’s it.”
My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest when he told me what Cade was doing. That just couldn’t happen to him. He was better at life than I was, and to hear that he wasn’t dealing well with it, broke my heart.
“He can’t do this,” I whispered. “Not him.”
“Again, I like you. And again, I don’t know what happened. But whatever the fuck you two are fighting about, he’s taking it hard. Anyway, I’m going to go check that camera. I think I know what the problem is. Your mom out back?”
“Yeah,” I said absently, wondering if Jake understood the significance of what he’d said. I watched as he wandered into the house and headed toward the patio.
Drinking. I wanted to hope that was some sports drink after he went to the gym, but I had a feeling it wasn’t. Fistfights, watching the house, and drinking.
Everything that I wanted to prevent had manifested anyway. He was still dead, since he wouldn’t get back to the life he deserved. It was irritating.
Of course, I was concerned. More than concerned. Outright scared of what all that meant when put together. But I also wanted to kick his ass. He needed his family, and he needed to have purpose too. The only way he could do that was to join the living again.
I let out a huff of frustration and stared through the window. His car was gone from his regular spot. If he’d still been out there, I would have marched over and asked if he was out of his damned mind.
Without him within reach, I stomped up to my bedroom and grabbed my phone off the dresser.
I had another missed call from an unknown number. They'd been coming in once a week with no voicema
il, leaving me no clue as to who the caller was. Which usually meant solicitor or creditor. Either way, I was ignoring them.
I texted Cade.
Suzanne: What the hell are you doing?
I slammed the phone back on the dresser and started making my bed. I wasn’t normally one of those people that made it every day. I wasn’t that particular about it. And lately I hadn’t been sleeping much at all anyway, finding myself sitting up until three in the morning with a book, or ugly crying until I passed out.
I hated crying. Rarely felt the need. But lately, it seemed like my emotions were on overload and I couldn’t escape my nightly tear-fest.
My phone beeped, and I snatched it off the dresser.
Cade: Eating.
I took a deep breath and tried to calm down.
Suzanne: Where? I’ll meet you.
Better to do this in person I figured. Have it out with him and tell him what I thought.
Cade: Stay in the house.
Suzanne: No. Tell me where you are.
Cade: About to kick your ex-boyfriend’s ass.
Suzanne: Don’t fucking do that! Are you at David’s house or the gym?
Cade: Don’t care what his name is. But now that I know…
“Fuck,” I mumbled, realizing my mistake. Given Jake’s description of what he was doing lately, he was probably already primed for a fight with David.
Suzanne: Come over. Now. Are you drinking again?
Cade: I’ll be back later.
Suzanne: No. Need you.
I really did need him, but it was to make sure he was sober, and not killing David.
Texting a few more times without a response, I ran down the stairs to find Jake. He was in the backyard with my mother, trying to explain why she couldn’t hang a birdfeeder from the camera.
“Jake,” I called out, with desperation in my voice.
He looked over and nodded as he quickly rehung my mother’s birdfeeder in a new spot. She hugged him and went back to her recliner sitting in the grass.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, after he shut the patio door.
“Cade. I—I texted him because I was concerned and thought maybe…forget it. He texted back, and I accidentally gave him the name of my ex.”
“Fuck. Logan said the guy was a douche.”
I sighed heavily. “I’m not even going to ask why my ex was even the subject of conversation.”
“Checking out leads for the serial killer.”
“Okay, whatever. Cade is going to kill him. He beat me up. You have to get Cade. Please. He said he was eating. David works at the gym downtown. And he lives on Heritage Street. I’ll give you the address.”
Jake programmed it into his phone, then made a call.
“Trouble we think,” he said, as he stepped away. I could almost bet he was talking with Holden on the phone. If Holden was involved, then he would hopefully know how to handle Cade.
My phone rang. When I glanced at the number it was the same damn one that had been calling. I was already irritated, and this was getting old.
“Hello?” I answered, as Jake turned back toward me, waiting. “Look, stop calling, I’m not interested.”
“Number ten,” a male’s voice said. The blood in my veins went cold. It sounded like the man was speaking through a tunnel or a microphone. The line sounded noisy with some sort of interference.
“Who is this?”
Sensing something wasn’t right, Jake stepped closer to me and frowned.
“It was hard to find you. But I know you’ll be happy with me. I’ll send you a present.”
“What…” I started to say, then the line went dead as the doorbell chimed.
Jake glanced toward the front door, then at me. “What’s wrong?”
“It was him,” I whispered, between clenched teeth.
“Cade?”
“N—no,” I whispered. “It was him. He said he was going to send me a present. He called me number ten. J—Jake, find Cade.”
Jake was already dialing on his phone again. “Get your mom upstairs, Suzanne.”
The doorbell chimed again, and we both looked toward the living room. Jake pulled a gun out of the back of his jeans and cocked it.
“Fuck, no one’s answering. We have guys out front, though. If it was someone they didn’t like, they’d call or take them down. Suzanne, your mom.”
I felt chilled as I went outside, herded my protesting mother back through the door, and up the stairs. I hadn’t explained what was going on. It wasn’t a conversation that I felt we needed to have, then or now, but she knew something was wrong. She didn’t ask, but she knew.
Digging my phone out of my back pocket, I texted Cade.
Suzanne: You have to come here. Please hurry.
I stuffed the phone back in my pocket and ran back downstairs. Hiding just out of view on the last step, I peeked around the corner of the wall. Jake was at the door with his gun drawn and trying to stay out of sight of the window.
He very slowly turned the knob, letting the door fly back and aimed his gun at nothing. There was no one standing on the porch.
“Jake?” I called out.
“Just stay there, Suzanne,” he ordered with authority. “Go upstairs.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked, as I saw two men running toward the door.
“Nothing. Just stay there.”
Jake blocked my view of the two men he was talking to. But they seemed to be rattling off information to each other.
My phone beeped in my pocket, causing me to flinch. I reached for it, hoping it was Cade.
Cade: Busy.
Suzanne: He called. Jake’s here. Something is wrong.
The wait for a return text was endless. It might have only been a few minutes, but as I waited and watched Jake, time seemed to slow down with the anxiety of the moment.
Cade: Who called?
Suzanne: He called me number ten.
Peeking around the corner again, I saw Jake bend down to inspect something on the porch, then saw the two men from earlier running past the window.
Jake slammed the door as he ran back toward me. There was a panicked look on his face as he made his way across the room.
“Get down!”
Then the door exploded. Shards of glass flew in every direction, ripping fabric and bouncing off walls. The sound was deafening, the shockwave throwing nearly everything in the room back.
I threw myself back onto the stairs behind the wall as debris pelted the surfaces around me. I felt nicks and cuts along my arms as I covered my face with my hands.
My mother was screaming my name upstairs, but I could barely hear her above the ringing in my ears.
“Mom! I’m okay! Stay there!” I yelled. “Just stay there!”
Unfolding from my curled position, I blinked at the chaos around me.
Dust, or maybe plaster, was floating and thick in the air, while bits of wood and drywall lay everywhere on the floor.
Carefully, I moved around the wall and into the living room, trying to avoid debris. I noticed the couch was shredded and turned upside down. Pictures were hanging off kilter, and anything that was on top of a table in the room, was now laying smashed on the floor.
It was complete and utter chaos. And there was no sign of Jake.
I shuffled further into the room and noticed blood on the floor. A long smear of it that disappeared under the couch.
Lifting the edge, I saw Jake’s leg, the source of the blood on the floor. His jeans appeared shredded and the skin on his calf was bleeding.
“Jake!” I screamed.
There was noise behind me, men’s voices, yelling. When they entered, I was moved back against the wall as they lifted the couch from Jake’s body. The torn jeans looked like the only damage to his clothing, but his calf was a mass of angry wounds and blood.
When the couch was fully removed from him, he groaned.
Lifting a hand to my mouth, I started to cry in relief.
Chapter Nin
eteen
“Where the fuck is she?!” Cade bellowed from somewhere down the street.
My hand paused in wiping my face with a washcloth that my mother had brought me. She sat in the back of Jake’s car, silently leaning against the door with her eyes closed. The stress of the situation taking its toll on her in the form of exhaustion.
Police were everywhere. Aiden’s men were everywhere. And I was sitting beside the car, trying to wipe the bits of plaster off my face.
I tried to focus on my hands, anything that would block out some of the chaos around me. There would be questions later. A lot of them. And I didn’t have any answers. The only people that could help me were Aiden’s group or the FBI. One of which was here, and the other not answering the phone.
After the police and ambulance came, I’d been rushed out of the house with my mom, who had brought down a wet towel by some miracle of forethought. I’d been cleared by the paramedics and had been questioned a little bit before Jake’s team had interceded.
What they told the police, I didn’t know. But they had left me alone for the past few minutes, and I was grateful for the space.
“Suzanne!” Cade bellowed again. He was closing the distance by the sound of it.
When a large hand came into view and grabbed mine, I knew he’d found me.
“Suzie. Fuck, are you okay?” he asked, as his arm slipped around me. “Fuck, baby. Talk to me.”
“I’m okay,” I whispered, as he pulled me into his arms.
He tilted my head back. The firm set of his jaw and wild eyes made me shiver for a moment. The anger emanating from him was unmistakable.
My heart sped up as his eyes wandered over my frame. There were small cuts and a couple of bruises from things that had gotten around the wall of the stairs. Not so big that they required attention, but so many on one of my arms, that it looked speckled.
Damage: (Lakefield Book 5) Page 18