by Ben Ryder
“You okay?” Callum asked.
“My back is beginning to hurt from chopping wood and sitting down so long.” He stretched again. “We’ve had too much beer to drive back tonight, so I guess we’re going to have to stay here. I haven’t bought any proper beds yet, but apparently this sofa turns into one. I have a few blankets in the back of the car,” Noah said. He slowly rose from the couch, but stopped halfway and drew a sharp breath. He grimaced, then stood up the rest of the way. “I’ll go and grab them. Can you pull out the bed so we can lie down? It might help my back a little.”
Callum nodded, still a little astonished, and watched Noah head to the front door. His heart raced as he pulled the cushions off the sofa and tugged at the bar to release the bed. He couldn’t seem to control the shaking in his hands. He tried to remember when he had ever wanted something so badly, but nothing came close.
Moments later, Noah rushed back through the front door. “Cold! Cold! Cold!” He was still bare chested and the frigid temperature outside made his body taut and his nipples erect. He threw the blankets over to Callum, who started to unfold them to cover the bed. “No time for that. Freezing!”
Noah lowered himself gingerly onto the bed, pulled one of the blankets over himself, and shivered. After a moment to gather warmth, he turned to Callum. “So you really didn’t guess?”
Callum shook his head and took a quick swig of his beer. “No.”
“To be honest, I thought that was the reason you were quiet on the way up here today. I got nervous, thinking that perhaps you weren’t interested in me but didn’t know how to tell me.”
Callum froze at Noah’s confirmation.
“So you being quiet in the car this morning, it definitely wasn’t because you were nervous about—”
“God, no. Well, if I’d thought there was a chance in hell that…. Well, I would’ve been. But no, it really was because I had a sad dream.”
“Tell me about it,” Noah said, as he turned on his side and pulled the blanket close to his bare chest.
“No, it sounds a bit… I don’t know. It’s depressing. You don’t want to hear about sad dreams now.”
“Try me.”
“Okay. But if you laugh at me—”
“Just tell me!”
Callum pulled part of the blanket over himself and mirrored Noah by turning on his side so they faced each other. Although comfortable, they still lay two feet apart.
“Okay. When I was a kid, every Christmas and birthday I would ask my parents for a dog. That’s all I ever wanted. But every year they refused.”
Noah reached over, took Callum’s hand, and brought it to rest between them. He slipped his fingers under Callum’s palm while his thumb stroked the top of Callum’s hand.
“Go on,” Noah said, smiling that his actions had silenced Callum.
“There was no argument, discussion, or debate. It was always a flat ‘no’. So when I left college and got a job and my own place, the first thing I did was go down to the dog rescue shelter in Battersea. I found a little brown mutt who wasn’t much older than a puppy, and I just fell in love with her. She was this scared, nervous little thing who made me melt. She’d been abandoned, so I had to give her a name.”
“What did you call her?”
“Kodak. Because she was exactly the picture I had in my mind of the dog I always wanted.”
Noah smiled and pulled his other arm around to lay his head in the bend of his elbow. The movement made him wince.
“Your back?”
“Yeah. It’ll be okay. Carry on.” “Anytime I laid on the sofa, Kodak would jump up and lay on my chest with her head just under my chin. Even as she got older and bigger, she’d still lay on me the same way she did when she was small.”
Callum stopped for a moment and swallowed the lump in his throat. “About four months ago she was diagnosed with leukemia. The vet did everything he could for her, but she died a couple of days before I came out to Toronto. It just about did me in.”
“Oh, Callum, I’m so sorry.” He gave Callum’s hand a little squeeze of sympathy. “So your dream last night was about Kodak?”
“Yeah, I dreamed she was lying on my chest again. It sounds stupid, but it was so real and so vivid. I could feel her weight and her rib cage on my stomach go up and down as she breathed, and I could feel her breath on my neck. I could even hear her little snores and smell her fur. I woke up just as I brought my arms up to cuddle her.”
“She obviously knew that was a great place to be. I can understand why she’d want to be there so much,” Noah said as he nudged his way over. “I know it’s not the same, but—” Noah slipped his arm around Callum’s waist and then laid his head on Callum’s chest.
“Do you want me to put some more wood on the fire?” Callum asked, needing to say something, anything. He knew Noah’s ear was pinned on his chest and his quickening heartbeat would give him away.
“No, we’ll save it,” Noah said, looking up at him. “Besides, I like this.” Callum nuzzled closer still and felt Noah’s long stubble pierce his thin T-shirt as he got comfortable. “It must have been tough keeping it under wraps all this time,” he said, changing the subject back to Noah.
“Some times are more difficult than others. I’m more comfortable on the ice than I am anywhere else in the world, and when I’m playing it all seems worth it. But sometimes I see the other players with their wives, girlfriends, and kids, and it begins to sting.”
“What would happen if you came out?” “God, I’ve asked myself that question a thousand times. Some days even the thought of it terrifies me to the point I feel paralyzed. You work to build a name for yourself, train hard, win games, but your reputation could be taken away in a moment and all you’d be left with is ridicule. I’ve had visions of skating onto the ice and having thousands of people booing or shouting abuse, people throwing things at me, or fathers nudging their kids as they sneer.”
Noah sighed. “But then I have days when I think what a relief it would be. I wouldn’t have to watch what I say in front of the kids at the foundation. I wouldn’t be nervous all the time. I wouldn’t have to lie to everyone day in and day out.”
Callum thought back to when he was younger and still in the closet. “It’s constant, isn’t it? Even when you’re away from people, it beats you down until you’re exhausted. At least when you’re lying to someone face-to-face you can gauge whether they believe you. It can kind of calm you down when you’re fretting, if you can see the lie is working. When I was in the closet, I found the worst time was when I was alone. I’d constantly worry if someone was saying something or if someone knew something. I’d convince myself that people were at home thinking a particular lie I’d told them didn’t make sense and then spend hours beating myself up for raising their suspicions.”
Noah squeezed Callum as if to show he was grateful to have another person in his life who understood. “My contract negotiations are a few weeks away. Half of me doesn’t want them to extend my contract or sell it on. That way I can finally find some peace. But the other half can’t bear the idea of not playing professional hockey.”
“You’ll do what’s right for you, I’m sure of it,” Callum said, setting his fingers into Noah’s thick hair and stroking it back.
Noah let out a long, deep hum, obviously enjoying Callum playing with his hair.
The iPod finally came to the end of its playlist. They lay in silence for a while, listening to the fire crackle. “Callum?”
“Yes?”
“You know I like you, don’t you?”
“I’m still getting my head around it, but yes.” Callum let out a short laugh. “And if the hard cock pressed against my leg is anything to go by, I don’t think I need much more proof.”
“I can’t help it.” Noah chuckled back. “But would you be disappointed if we didn’t fool around tonight? I’ve wanted to be with you so long, but my damn back seems to be getting worse and I left my painkillers at home. I just want the first time to be perfect,
not with me howling in agony every time I move.”
“Well, we can save the howls for later.” Callum gave a sly grin. “But I’d be disappointed if I didn’t at least get to kiss you.”
Noah raised his eyes to Callum. “Then I won’t disappoint you.” It wasn’t the night of passionate sex Callum had fantasized about. He didn’t pass the hours by satisfying his weeks of craving for the taste of Noah’s skin. And he didn’t explore every last inch of the body he had daydreamed about since he first laid eyes on it.
But the second they kissed, it was more than Callum could have imagined in a million years.
Chapter Seven
12:30 p.m. C ALLUM looked out the window and watched the rain come down in heavy sheets. He would be stuck in Stompers for the time being, so he looked over the lunchtime menu. He knew he should eat something, but as the morning went on he felt his stomach begin to churn as the excitement of the phone call got closer. An old man in a trench coat at the end of the bar had been staring at him for the past fifteen minutes in a creepy, leering way Callum found uncomfortable. He decided not to eat and put the menu back on the bar. He picked up his phone again. Still nothing.
I T HAD been a week since their trip to the cabin. Noah left Sunday night with the team, as they were due to play games in New Jersey and Ottawa. They kept in touch via nondescript texts, and both were cautious in their words, in case a teammate might look over Noah’s shoulder.
Noah was proud to report he’d scored one goal and two assists in New Jersey and a hat trick in Ottawa. Callum didn’t know what that meant but assumed it was good and congratulated Noah. The team won both games, and Noah was on a high the night he returned.
When he arrived at Callum’s apartment, Noah looked casual in sneakers, sweatpants, and a T-shirt. Callum couldn’t help noticing Noah’s package swinging inside the loose sweatpants. He meant to comment on it, but just as Callum turned from closing the door behind him, Noah picked him up in a fireman’s lift onto his shoulder and carried him to the bedroom.
“I’m not waiting anymore,” Noah shouted and playfully bit down on Callum’s ass cheek before dropping him onto the bed. “I’ve had a cortisone shot in my back and I’m good to go!”
“I know it’s only been a week, but I’d almost forgotten how big you are,” Callum said, looking up and watching Noah strip off his T-shirt. “You’re a fucking giant!”
Noah climbed onto the bed and straddled Callum while pinning his hands behind his head. “Fe, fi, fo, fum, I want the cock of this Englishman,” he growled before grinding his crotch into Callum’s.
Callum burst into hysterics. “Are you fucking kidding me?” “Of course, but I knew it would make you laugh,” Noah said as he ran the stubble of his chin up the side of Callum’s neck until he found his ear. “And you have no idea how much hearing you laugh turns me on.” He found Callum’s smiling lips and kissed them. “Can we get out of these damn clothes now, please?”
Callum ran his fingers down Noah’s muscular back until he found the rim of his sweatpants. Slipping his hand between the elastic and skin, he cupped his ass cheek and pulled it up as Noah ground his crotch into him.
“Stand up again,” Callum said, removing his hand. “I want to look at you.” Noah obeyed and slid off the bed to stand in front of him. Callum took in the incredible sight. His stubble dissolved into the dark hair across his chest, which was framed by the gray tattoo of gods and demons that wrapped around his bicep and onto his shoulder. Callum traced Noah’s firm, defined chest and lingered on his leanly muscled stomach and the trail of hair beneath his navel that disappeared into his sweatpants, which now bulged with arousal.
Callum moved off the bed and sank to his knees. He slowly pulled down the waistband of Noah’s sweatpants until Noah’s thick cock sprang free. The sweatpants fell to his ankles and Noah kicked them aside, one foot at a time. Callum returned to his feet and tore off his own clothes like they were on fire. He began to sink down to his knees again to take Noah’s cock into his mouth when Noah caught him under the arm and pulled him up to stand again.
Noah said nothing, but he wrapped his arms around Callum and pulled him in tight. The silent embrace said this was something more than just sex to Noah. He released Callum and softly lowered him backward onto the bed.
Kisses only parted when they whispered. Their hands were only still when they were clasped tight in each other’s. Moans were only muted when tongues were in action. Callum and Noah rolled on the bed, each giving the other their dominance and the chance to feel the weight of the other bearing down on his body. Hours went by as they competed with each other over who could bring the most pleasure.
Callum rolled onto his stomach. With his chest against Callum’s back, Noah kissed gently across the top of his shoulders, his stubble lightly tracing the contours of Callum’s frame. Callum’s hips moved as Noah’s cock nuzzled in between his ass cheeks. Callum raised in position and pushed back when he felt the tip of Noah’s cock. Noah froze in position, allowing Callum to take him at his own pace. Once Noah was completely inside him, Callum took a deep breath. Noah froze as if in fear of causing Callum pain.
“I can stop,” he whispered. Callum’s chest and back shook as he let out a small laugh. “You feel fucking incredible. Why would I want you to stop?”
Noah slowly pulled his cock out and then gently slid back into Callum as they gasped in unison from the feeling. Noah began slowly at first, then increased the speed until he found a pace that had Callum moaning. The sweat between them made their skin glide over each other, while the roughness of Noah’s kisses on the back of his neck had Callum tearing at the sheets. He’d never felt such constant rhythmic ecstasy as Noah brought to his body. He felt it deep inside his body, in his heart, in his mind. He would never have believed making love could feel this way. It was the purest of physical and mental joy, like Noah was stroking any remnants of sadness out of his soul.
Noah’s stamina and desire to please was interminable. Callum lost track of time and didn’t care. Noah felt incredible. His passionate trance was only ended when he heard Noah’s voice in his ear.
“I don’t want to stop, but I’m not far off.” Callum could feel the sweat drop from Noah’s forehead onto the top of his neck.
“Wait,” Callum said. He turned onto his back and wrapped his calves around the small of Noah’s back as he felt his cock slide back in. “I want to see you.”
They looked into each other’s eyes as Callum held Noah’s triceps with one hand. They were taut and hard from supporting himself. Callum’s other hand held his dick, which had been on the edge of exploding ever since he’d found Noah’s lips. He squeezed hard, willing the delay. Noah’s breath became heavier as he neared climax.
“Stay with me tonight,” Callum whispered. Noah’s whole body shook, as though the invitation sent a bolt of electricity through him. He pulled out and shot a stream of cum up Callum’s chest and across his neck. A rogue droplet flew up and landed on Callum’s lips. He pulled them in to taste Noah. It was enough to make his own cum fly, despite the firm grip he held on his own cock. The release was mind blowing and, judging by the shocked look on Noah’s face, plentiful. Noah lowered his body and slowly released every muscle as if he was melting into Callum.
After catching his breath, Callum turned his head and asked Noah, “Will you stay?” “I’ll have to be careful and probably have to leave early in the morning. But I can honestly say there is nowhere else I would rather be tonight.”
Callum wrapped his arms around Noah and gently kissed the side of his neck.
“Salty,” said Callum, and they laughed together.
“Hey, I’ve got an idea,” Noah said excitedly as he jumped up and wiped the cum off the tip of his cock with Callum’s Tshirt before tossing it onto his lover’s chest so he too could clean up. “We should go away somewhere. There are no games next weekend, so I’m free Friday to Sunday. Do you think you could swing it?”
“I don’t know, a couples getaw
ay so soon? Next thing you know we’ll be picking out curtains and arguing over paisley.”
“You’re a sarcastic little fucker, you know that?”
Callum winked at Noah. “I think I can get away. I’m ahead of schedule. The only thing I need to do is run the software through the mainframe again. But I can’t do that until Arnold has sorted his programs out.”
“Do you know how to play poker or blackjack?”
“Yes. Why?”
“Let’s go to Vegas!”
“Really?” A huge smile spread across Noah’s face. “Just you and me,” he said, jutting his hips back and forth so his cock swung up and down. “A dirty weekend in Las Vegas!”
“Oh, like that’s never been done,” Callum teased. But he was sure it had never been done the way they would.
Chapter Eight
1:00 p.m. C ALLUM put down his first glass of wine and took another look at his phone lying on the bar, but so far the screen hadn’t illuminated. He glanced at the old man in the trench coat, who was now obviously cruising a handsome guy sitting alone at a nearby table with a bottle of wine and paperwork strewn in front of him. Callum smiled to himself as he watched the man at the table check his silver watch for what seemed to be the fifth time in ten minutes. Maybe he was trying to show the creepy guy in the trench coat that he was busy and pressed for time, subtly signaling he didn’t want to be bothered. Or perhaps he was checking his watch because he was waiting for something important too.
“T HANKyou so much for working last weekend,” Amy said as they made their way through the crowds of the old arena. “Sorry it was all so last minute.”
“It’s okay,” Callum said casually, trying to disguise his now simmering anger at Amy. She had called an hour before he and Noah were due to leave for Vegas and told him her bosses were getting anxious that some of the software installation was behind schedule. Though his part of the system was up to date, he had to attend the meeting with all the contractors and the CEO of Taylorfield on Saturday afternoon to run through the timetable.