by Ben Ryder
“They looked at each other and Howie just kept saying ‘fuck, fuck, fuck’, like he was panicking. Coach didn’t say a word. In fact, he just sat there looking concerned. I was kind of annoyed at first. I know I’ve worried about telling them in the past, but in my heart of hearts, I know these men and expected them to give me some level of support or understanding. Instead, they both just sat there like I’d told them they had cancer.”
“Well it must have been a shock to them. I didn’t even know you were gay when I met you, and my gaydar is pretty well calibrated.”
“Well, I got a bit angry and defensive. I told them that if they wanted to delay the meeting by a couple of days to think things over, I’d come back in with my agent and accept whatever decision they made. Then Coach stopped me and said, ‘You’ve already made a difficult decision even harder.’”
“What did he mean by that?”
“It was odd. It was as if they’d heard what I’d said, but then suddenly ignored it. Then they both took turns talking, like they were running through a speech they’d prepared. They credited me for the success of the team, spent ten minutes thanking me for everything I’d done to raise their reputation, and for all the time and effort I’d dedicated to the Foundation and charities. Then Howie showed me graphs of our wins, the money that had increased with advertisers and even the revenue from the sales of my hockey jerseys. I just sat there getting angrier and angrier.”
“Why?”
“Because I knew that they were going to let me go. I could tell in their voices. It pissed me off that they were thanking me and telling me what a fantastic fucking hockey player I was, when I knew the last sentence was going to be, ‘But we don’t think we’re ready to have an openly gay hockey player on our team.’”
Callum let out a deep sigh of understanding. Compliments never really soften bad news when you know it’s coming.
“Then my agent walked in, and I told her that she may as well go home because my contract wasn’t going to be renewed. Then Coach got up and shouted at me like I was on the ice. He told me to sit and listen to what they had to say before I started running my mouth off.”
“I bet that went down well.”
“At first no, but old habits die hard. I did what he said and listened.”
“Noah, this is killing me—what happened?”
“You remember I told you that one of the guys had overheard Howie and the coach talking about the Warriors?”
“The team in New York? Yeah. Wasn’t it something about one of their players looking to leave?”
“Well, that’s what he thought. But he got it completely wrong. The Warriors have had a few bad seasons. The owner is an old man now and wants to sell the team, but the buyer they’ve found who’s interested won’t commit unless they improve in the rankings. The Warriors were huge years ago and were one of the most recognized and followed in the sport. So they’re looking for a sort of return to their former glory. The owner has offered to buy the option on the remaining three years on my contract to build their reputation and wins back up!” Noah said with a note of cheer to his voice.
Callum didn’t know whether the excitement in his voice was from the compliment of the offer or something else. He spotted droplets in puddles in the pavement begin to erupt as the heavy rain began to pour again.
“So you would play for a New York team?”
“That’s the offer. But apparently the guy who’s interested in buying the Warriors is a well-known, wealthy, right-wing conservative. If I come out, there’s no way he would even consider buying the team with me on it. So they’ve asked me what I want to do.”
Callum’s head was spinning.
“Sorry, Noah, this is a lot to take in. Can you break it down for me?” he said, trying to get his head around the fact that Noah’s third option, the one they had assumed wouldn’t happen, was suddenly at the forefront.
“Well, it pretty much comes down to this. I can either play in New York for the Warriors, but remain in the closet. Or I can continue to play for the Bobcats as an openly gay man.”
“And they were okay with the fact you’re gay?”
“They warned me it would be hard, but they said they’d support my decision to come out. So in that respect, yeah, they’re okay with it.”
Callum was suddenly nervous. “What did you say?”
“I told them that I had to talk to you first, of course,” Noah said, as if Callum’s question was completely ridiculous.
“Well, Noah, what do you want to do?”
“I really don’t know. I’d only just gotten my head around the fact that they were going to let me go and my professional career would be over. But now I have the chance not only to play for another three years, but also for the most famous team in the world!” His excitement was obvious, but he quickly shifted his tone to add, “But I can’t even consider doing it if it means that you won’t be there.”
Callum appreciated the words, but he thought he knew what Noah couldn’t bring himself to say. “It sounds like you know what you want to do.”
“Really, Callum, I don’t.”
“You told me that in the whole world, you felt most comfortable on the ice.”
“That was before I knew how comfortable I felt in your arms.”
“Noah, I told you I’d do anything to make this work. I expect the same from you.”
“Of course, just say it and I’ll do it.”
“Take the offer in New York, Noah. If it means a long distance relationship for a while, then so be it. This is your last chance to play the game you love!” Callum couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth, but he knew they were the right ones.
“But—”
“But what? Why can’t we have both? Why can’t we still see each other and you still play hockey? You can come down to Rio when the season ends. I can meet you in New York whenever I can. We can make it work, Noah!” Callum said, his own enthusiasm convincing him of its truth.
“I don’t know what to say to you, Callum.”
“Tell me that we can do this!”
There was a few seconds of silence. Callum stood in the open, not caring that the rain was coming in sheets on top of him.
“We can do this!” Noah said, matching Callum’s enthusiasm. Callum also detected relief in Noah’s voice. Though he didn’t doubt Noah would have given up the game if Callum had asked him to, he also knew Noah wouldn’t be happy. It wasn’t ideal, but at least this way, Noah could have both the game and Callum in his life.
Callum reinforced their decision. “We’ll get together as much as we can. I’m sure it’ll be hard at first, but we’re only talking three years, at the most. Thirty-six months. That’s nothing in the grand scheme of things. If anything, it’ll give us more time to plan. Hey, maybe we can finally take that trip to Vegas.”
“No, Callum. I’ll go anywhere but Vegas.”
“Why not?” Callum asked, almost shouting to compete with the pouring rain that drenched his hair and soaked through his suit.
“Because I’ve spent all my luck finding you.”
About the Author B EN RYDERwas born and raised in England. Though he’s proud of his British heritage and homeland, he spends as much time as possible in the American southwest, seeking sunshine, warmth, and cheap tequila. Ben enjoys mud runs, scuba diving, and unabashedly self-effacing mockery. He can be reached at [email protected] or on Twitter, @benryderbooks.
Romance from DREAMSPINNER PRESS
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Copyright
Noah ©Copyright Ben Ryder, 2013 Published by
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
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Digital ISBN978-1-62380-667-5 Printed in the United States of America First Edition
April 2013