In fact, he had been actively avoiding his brother for quite a while now. Truthfully, he had no one to blame for their division other than himself, but they were both quite prideful—a trait they both acquired from their father—and if there was one thing neither of them had ever been very good at, it was admitting when they were wrong.
Uilleam, especially.
“It’s so nice to meet you,” Luna greeted with her trademark smile, always the people pleaser. “I didn’t—“
“Is he here?”
Ah.
At least that answered his question as to whether or not his brother was still cross with him. There couldn’t have been more disdain in that question if Kit had tried.
The nerve. As if he had never done anything to cross him … “He can hear you, dearest brother.”
One would think it would be in his best interest not to annoy the trained assassin who was still very much active despite his claims of retirement, but Uilleam had never known really how to properly fear his brother.
And it didn’t help that he rather enjoyed vexing his brother.
Kit’s gaze cut in Uilleam’s direction, his eyes revealing everything he was feeling. They even darkened further when Uilleam stood. It had never been in his nature to show fear, even when he had reason to, and he wouldn’t start now despite the tension in the air.
Kit looked as if he had more to say, but Luna, ever the voice of reason when it came to the pair of them, rested her hand on his arm, the simple touch enough to keep him from doing something drastic.
Unlike the mercenaries who had all looked as if they would rather see his head on a stake than to walk out of that room, Luna’s expression was kind as she regarded him. But then again, she had never quite been like the others. Her inevitable involvement in the Den might have come because of manipulation on his part, but ultimately, there was far more to it than that.
He saw her differently. Always had.
And unlike most, she seemed to see something else in him other than what made him notoriously unhinged.
Some of the same things, he thought that Karina had once seen in him.
“It’s good to see you too, Uilleam. You look well.”
Kit made a soft sound beneath his breath, clearly still cross with him. “Those who raise the most hell live the longest, as they say.”
Losing what little patience he already didn’t possess, Uilleam narrowed his eyes on his brother. “Would an apology help? I’m sorry I didn’t murder our mother, Kit. Perhaps we can remedy that now if it will make you feel better.”
Because as it currently stood, he felt dead inside. And though the thought was a somber one, Uilleam wasn’t sure if he would actually feel anything if he did in fact carry through with that threat. Nothing could hurt him more than the truth of what he had caused.
And most days, even he wasn’t sure why he had chosen to spare her instead of putting his mother in the ground. It wasn’t as if he had gone out of his way to visit her in the years that had passed, nor did he make it a point to contact her and see how she was doing at any given time. For all intents and purposes, he had merely banished her to a place no one should have known about where she was meant to live out the rest of her days.
For a woman who thrived on attention, it seemed like a worthy punishment for the life she’d led.
“That right there tells me you understand nothing,” Kit said, his voice restrained.
“Then by all means,” Uilleam said with a grand wave of his hand. “Enlighten me as to why you’re angry with me now? You always have a reason, don’t you?”
Kit opened his mouth to do just that, but Elsie cleared her throat, interrupting the pair of them. “Perhaps we can discuss our grievances at a later time. Besides, our guests have only just arrived and it seems only proper they get a chance to settle in before family dinner commences.
“Not hungry,” both Uilleam and Kit parroted, still staring at each other.
Elsie merely carried on as if neither had spoken. “Dinner will be served within a couple of hours. Keiko will show you to your room. And Luna? Please let me know if there’s anything you’ll need for the duration of your stay. I’ll be more than happy to fetch it for you.”
Luna, who had never truly been in the middle of a Runehart sibling squabble, looked at them each in turn. “Um, thanks?”
“Oh, don’t worry yourself,” Elsie said with a light laugh, repeating Uilleam’s thoughts from earlier. “It’s only going to go downhill from here.”
* * *
If he avoided the dinner entirely, what was the worse Elsie could do?
He wasn’t a child, so punishing him would accomplish nothing. And since she had already taken away the one thing that might have enticed him …
As it stood, he’d much rather starve than deal with his family drama.
At half seven, a knock sounded at the door, a beaming Elsie standing on the other side after he gave a terse, enter.
“Are you coming down for dinner?”
“Quite busy, I’m afraid,” he said with an apologetic shrug. He gestured out around him. “My work is never done.”
“Avoiding the past only leads to you repeating it. It’s best to confront it head on instead of running.”
He peeked over at her. “What sort of fortune cookies are you reading these days?”
Her laugh lightened his mood a touch. “It’s true. But I would, very much, like to see you join us. I’ll even be having that 52’ vintage you like.”
That was enough to pique his interest. While wine didn’t have the same bite as freshly poured vodka, beggars couldn’t be choosers.
“I’ll be down in fifteen.”
Elsie nodded enthusiastically making him contemplate if he knew what, exactly, he had just agreed to.
She seemed to be up to something but as it stood, he wasn’t quite sure what that something was.
Deciding it couldn’t possibly be worth missing out on good wine, Uilleam got himself dressed, combed his hair, and made sure he looked every bit the proper gentleman before leaving his room.
Even as he found Kit and Luna already seated, he didn’t lose his good mood as he found his spot at the table and started pouring a glass of wine from the carafe on the table.
Uilleam made an effort not to guzzle it down, craving the buzz it would inevitably bring. But he also knew if he didn’t show restraint, the drink would possibly be taken from him.
The last thing he wanted.
Kit watched him, a remark in his eyes, but whether because of Luna or Elsie, he kept it to himself.
Ah, siblings.
Annoying and self-righteous.
“Good,” Elsie announced as she entered the formal dining room. “We’re all here for the time being.”
There was something about the way she phrased that that made Uilleam hesitate as he lifted the glass to his lips—something she was purposely omitting.
Whatever.
Not his problem.
Luna fiddled with the expertly crafted gold choker around her throat. Hooking her fingers through the admittedly small ring that hung in the hollow of her throat.
Uilleam expected dinner to arrive shortly—Elsie had made it a point to fetch them all and make sure they were seated well over twenty minutes ago—yet the longer they sat there, the more he started to wonder about her intentions. He couldn’t be sure, but it almost felt as if they were waiting for something.
Which couldn’t mean anything good.
“Elsie, is there something you’d like to share with the rest of us?” Uilleam asked, managing to keep his tone neutral if only because of the wine he was steadily going through despite the short time he’d been at the table.
Her smile was nothing short of serene, if a little cunning. “Do you not trust me, brother?”
“I don’t trust anyone,” he responded blandly.
It could have been his sister or another family member and a person he didn’t know whatsoever, he would give them each the b
enefit of the doubt and nothing more. His trust was earned not freely given.
And given the current state of his affairs, it would be wise for him not to put his trust in anyone.
“All will be explained in due time,” she said standing, smoothing the front of her dress.
She quickly excused herself, leaving them to stare after her. Kit was the first to break the silence.
“She’s up to something.”
“Evidently,” Uilleam agreed, swirling the contents of his glass. “Otherwise, neither of us would be here.”
The only question now was, just what did she have planned for them? He could guess that she wanted the pair of them to settle their differences and get along for the sake of what was to come in the near future.
Uilleam was still considering the possibilities when he heard a knock at the front door. That should have been his first clue that something was amiss, if only because of the hour and the only people he could imagine she wanted to be there were already seated at the table.
But it wasn’t until a woman entered the dining room in an obnoxious fur coat and glittering jewels that he felt his stomach tightening uncomfortably before he said fuck it and drained the last of his glass.
Uilleam had always both loved and despised his mother, a conundrum he had always tried to put to the back of his mind because it was far easier dealing with it that way than confronting the issues he had with her. But Kit, on the other hand … there was a clear line between love and hate for him, and he was distinctly on the side of the latter.
Luna glanced at him furtively, her throat moving as she swallowed.
Kit had gone still as a statue, first looking down at the empty plate resting in front of him before lifting his gaze to the woman who had made his childhood a living hell. “Why is she here?”
Abigail tutted, glaring at him as she made a show of slipping out of her furs. “Is that anyway to address your mother?”
Kit’s smile was not nearly as kind as his wife’s had been. “Believe me when I say, when I address you, you’ll know it. Elsie.”
“When was the last time we had family dinner?” Elsie asked, as if it were the most mundane questions of all. “I think it would be good for us to finally deal with the past.”
Is that what she thought?
There wasn’t enough wine in the world.
“If you’d excuse me,” Uilleam announced as he stood, grabbing the carafe of wine and practically daring anyone to stop him.
Maybe once he had a night to himself he’d be ready to deal with this.
But tonight? Not on their fucking life.
* * *
Alone once more, Uilleam stared up at the glowing orb that was the moon, wishing he could find answers within its waxy visage.
But he wouldn’t find them in the night sky—he wasn’t that lucky.
He considered calling it an early night—forcing himself to sleep since he had nothing better to do—but before he could move an inch, the sliding glass door opened, soft footsteps sounding that didn’t put him in a sour mood.
Luna.
Without thought, he stood and grabbed one of the deck chairs to drag over to rest next to his own.
“You’re in a better mood than I thought,” she commented thoughtfully, a smile in her voice as she slowly lowered herself into the seat.
“My mood is immaterial. You’re pregnant.”
And her comfort outweighed any desire of his to remain in solitude.
“Kit says the same thing far too much. I’m pregnant, not handicapped.”
All the same, he wanted her comfortable. And offering her a decent seat was the very least he could do to see to that.
Besides, he wasn’t a complete bastard. There was some decency left within him despite everything.
“I can’t imagine my brother knows you’re here.”
“He does,” she said gently. “I know you two are having a … thing right now, but I’m under the philosophy that you two will work it out.”
“Oh?” he asked, turning his gaze back to the sky. “Why is that?”
“Because you always do. And beyond that, neither of you has done anything you can’t forgive each other for.”
“I’m not so sure, Luna.”
And this time, he wasn’t.
It didn’t matter that they had done far worse to each other over the years and that keeping a secret seemed rather minor in comparison, but Uilleam knew better.
He knew it wasn’t just about what he hadn’t said.
“Kit loves you, Uilleam. And despite your protests, I know you love him too. Otherwise, neither of you would be here.”
“I’ll have you know,” Uilleam said as he turned to look in her direction. “I was forced here against my will. They drugged me.”
“And in the days after?” she asked with a tilt of her brow.
“No mobile.”
She laughed, the sound making him smile, easing some of the negative emotions that seemed to plague him most days.
“You’re you. I doubt you’d ever let something as small as not having a phone stop you from doing something you wanted.”
Perhaps.
But he didn’t agree or disagree.
“What do you think of her?” he asked, curious about an outside perspective. “About my mother, I mean.”
“She’s …” Luna seemed to grapple for the right thing to say, and knowing her, she probably meant it to sound as least offensive as possible. “No worse than my own mother.”
A soundless chuckle left his lips as he considered the two women. “Believe me when I say, Carmen Santiago was a saint in comparison.”
Carmen had been blinded by greed—powerless to stop herself from seeking out that which would be lucrative for her.
His mother, on the other hand, had come from money. She knew the taste of it from the moment she could perceive such things.
She’d had enough of it in her own right that she hadn’t needed to rely on his father for anything, she simply chose to.
He had never understood why she had been so willing to submit to a man Uilleam couldn’t be sure she had actually loved. Most days, he wasn’t even sure his mother had liked the man.
And yet, they had gone on to have two children and had created something of an empire.
An empire Uilleam had changed in his image.
“Oh,” she whispered almost to herself, a soft absent smile on her lips, bringing him out of his thoughts.
She rested her hand on the swell of her stomach, the adoration on her face telling him everything he needed to know.
“He’s kicking,” she explained, turning that smile in his direction. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it. Want to feel?”
“I couldn’t possibly—”
But she didn’t allow him to give no for an answer. Instead, she reached for his hand herself and placed it where her own had been.
Why, suddenly, was he aware of his own heartbeat? Oh how warm and damp his palms felt.
After a moment, he was starting to wonder if he’d somehow done something wrong.
“Will—”
And as quickly as he’d been ready to ask a question, he felt it. The surprisingly prominent thump against his hand.
There and gone and already, he was eager to feel it again—to acknowledge the tiny life growing inside of her.
Uilleam didn’t think he had ever been particularly moved by babies before. Their cries were always loud and piercing and could even be a hindrance at times.
But this one … he felt something.
And the longer he kept his hand there, the more he thought about Karina.
How she must have looked pregnant—beautiful and heavy with his child. Had she had the same look of wonder on her face when she felt their daughter’s kicks?
Had she been pleased?
Had she felt the same sense of wonderment he was feeling now?
At the thought, he drew his hand back, already missing the feeling. But di
d he really deserve it after what he’d done?
“Uill—”
“We have to live with the consequences of our actions,” he said without emotion, moving to his feet. “No matter how much they hurt.”
3
Survive
It was because of rooms very much like this one that Karina Ashworth had grown to hate the scent of cleaning sprays. More often than not, it turned her stomach and left a sour taste in her mouth that wouldn’t go away for hours.
But, it wasn’t as if she had much of a choice—this was the one yearly obligation she couldn’t avoid, no matter how much she might have wanted to.
While waiting for the physician, she turned her phone over in her hands, running her fingers over the sleek silver back of it and the slightly raised logo printed there. Some part of her—a desperate, foolish part that she didn’t like to think about too much—willed it to ring.
It was a reckless desire—no good would come from having the person she wanted to call ringing her phone—but as always, her heart wanted everything it couldn’t have.
And more importantly, there was the realization that it was over.
The fighting.
The manipulating.
All of it.
Her work was finished and there was nothing left for her now but to move on with her life and occupy her time with something, or even someone, else. As it were, she had no idea what that would look like.
This was the one thing she hadn’t considered during the years she spent targeting Uilleam—what came next.
She hadn’t considered how … empty she would feel.
Karina was saved from her thoughts when a dark-haired woman knocked and entered the room wearing her white lab coat and a kind, professional smile.
She hadn’t been sure what to think of the woman when she had come to see her the very first time, or how to explain her shame when she’d ultimately explained why she had needed to see her, but Dr. Lawrence had proven to be exactly who and what she needed.
“How are we feeling today, Karina?”
She shrugged, knowing the answer to that question was more complicated than the woman could possibly imagine. “As well as can be expected.”
Dark Horse: The Kingmaker Saga #5 Page 3