It’s the first time she’s brought him up so casually, without any sadness. “Oh?”
“Do you really want me to adopt Turner? I saw the form, and we haven’t talked about it before. Technically I’m his aunt, so is it even a possibility?”
Emotion clogs my throat. “You weren’t supposed to see that. It was just in case something happened to me. I was going to wait until much later, after we get married even.” I blow out an annoyed breath. “I’m so sorry you saw that before we could talk about it.”
“What else have you done in case something happens to you?”
How does she know? “I put you in my will, but there’s nothing in there about where Turner will go. It stills, says my mom. I wouldn’t change that without talking to you first.”
“If it’s legal, I want to adopt him. We need to tell him about Rena and how I’m actually his… aunt, first though. Maybe when he’s older? What do you think?”
I open my mouth to respond, then close it again. Licking my lips, I stare at her. “I don’t think you can get any closer to perfection than you are right now. I thought that would have scared the fuck out of you. Nope, just made me want you to be in his life even more.”
“I love him. Why would it scare me? It’s no different than agreeing to marry you. Being his step-mom is something that adds to his life, adopting him and being his legal mom is so much more. He deserves the best parents in the world and I don’t know if I can be the best, because despite what you think, I’m not perfect. Nowhere even close.”
“You always surprise me,” I admit, sighing loudly. “I think he’s lucky to get you in any form, Maeve.”
“All I ever wanted my entire childhood was a mom who loved me. A mom who wanted me. One to tuck me in and kiss my elbow when I fell on the playground. A mom who would listen to me rattle on about my boring day and pretend it was the most amazing story in the world. I wanted a mom so bad that I wished for one anytime I had a chance.” Maeve chokes up. “Do you remember at the ranch when Turner said his birthday wish was coming true?”
Narrowing my eyes, I think back to something that seems like a lifetime ago. “Yeah. I do. I forgot to ask him what the wish was.”
Maeve turns to look at me and a tear cuts down his cheek. “He told me. He wished for a mom.”
Closing my eyes against the onslaught of emotion, I try to keep the emotions in check. “Of course, he did.”
“I want to be that for him. It’s too late for my childhood, but it’s not for him, and who better than someone who shares his blood?”
Maeve pulls off the road onto the long driveway that leads to her house and parks the car. She doesn’t move to turn off the car. “Yes. I think we tell him the whole story and if at the end he’s okay with it, we sign the papers and make it official.”
“I want to do it and give it to him as a present for his birthday.”
Leaning over, I kiss her cheek. “You might not be perfect, but you’re pretty damn close. I love that idea.”
She sits there, deep in thought for what seems like forever. “Thank you for saying that. Do you want to go in? We can go back home, I just wanted to get that off my chest.”
Now I look at her like she’s crazy. “Maeve, tell me you don’t want to go in there and fuck wild and loud and we can go home right now, but if you’re scared or worried that’s something else entirely.”
Instead of replying, she opens the door and slams it. She looks over her shoulder as she walks to the front door, jiggling the keys in her hand to find the right ones. I hop out as quickly as possible and follow her inside. Locking the door behind me takes some work after all of the bolt locks were installed. It’s like a NYC apartment in a bad neighborhood. A chill prickles my skin as I walk up the stairs. It doesn’t happen every time I’m here, and there’s no way to determine if it’s going to bring me back to that day. The spot Rena where was standing is empty and I let out a breath. Maeve is in the wine cabinet when I arrive at the top. I ask if she thinks about that day when she’s here. She says she doesn’t think about it unless it’s brought up, like I just did, but I’m not sure I believe her.
“Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?” I ask, watching her fill a glass and take a sip. She gazes at me over the rim.
Maeve stretches her neck to one side, exposing it, forcing me to forget where I’m at and what happened. Now all I can think of is her. Twisting the stem of the glass in between two fingers, she gazes at me with an unreadable emotion. “Sometimes you love me so much it confuses me,” she says. “I wonder why. How is it possible? Then I open my heart and feel how much I love you. That’s the only thing that I can do to make sense of it.”
I cross to her, slowly stalking across the living room, over the spot Stavros died, to reach her in the corner by the fireplace. “I’m glad you can make sense of it,” I reply, swallowing hard. “Because I love you more than is reasonable and there’s no way to explain it any other way.”
Her gaze flicks up to meet mine. “I’m still getting used to it. But Lincoln,” she asks, setting her glass down on a side table. “Were you celibate because you were waiting for Rena? Then you met me and subconsciously you thought, well next best thing is this woman who resembles the woman I love? Humor me here, it’s me trying to make sense of our relationship.”
I take her hands in mine. “Because of what Riley said?”
She nods, big blue eyes shining up at mine. “No. I told you the truth on our first date. It was my decision and it had nothing to do with anyone except Turner.” I lean in and kiss her neck on the spot I haven’t stopped thinking about since she exposed it. Her cool skin raises where my lips left.
“You really did fall in love with just… me?” I’ve never seen her this vulnerable before. Not quite this exposed in her desire for validation. It breaks my heart and heals it at the same time. She’s so innocent and beautiful.
“It wasn’t just you, it’s only you, Maeve.”
She flashes me a seductive half-smile before reaching her hands around my neck to capture my lips against hers. Maeve’s eyes flutter closed and I let her guide the kiss, keeping my hands by my sides. Her pace. Whatever she wants. However she needs it, is what I want her to have. Not just now, but forever. Her tongue tastes of wine, and the scent of her shampoo wafts into my oxygen causing all common sense to flee. Grabbing her ass, I pull her against me, but with too much strength. The table next to us shifts, and her wine glass crashes on the hardwood. It’s only a mild distraction as we break our mouths to view the mess.
She turns back to me, and pushes me to the sofa, straddling me as I fall backward. Spit, her scent, her pussy against my dick only separated by clothes. The need for her grows. “I need to shower first. I want this one-hundred percent a thousand different ways. I’ve been living in a hole with only a stick of deodorant to my name.”
“Funny,” Maeve hisses, sucking in a breath at my neck. “All I smell is you and it’s delicious. It’s pure man.”
My cock likes that and hardens to an uncomfortable level. I stand and Maeve squeals, wrapping her legs around me. “Then I’m taking you in the shower with me.”
Her laugh echoes against the tall ceilings, and I feel so happy to hear actual sounds of her happiness that I would run her up and down this house a million times if it meant preserving the sound. I set her down, and crank on the shower. My boner is the main attraction as I pull off my pants and jump into the cold water wanting to get the cleaning over with so we can move on to what comes next. At home, we have a lot of shower sex because it’s the most soundproof place in the house, and it happens after Turner goes to sleep. “No shower sex tonight,” I tell her when I see her yanking on her sleeve. “Go ahead and get undressed, but just watch.”
Her throat works as she swallows, her big eyes staring at the glass. It won’t be long until the hot water fogs it, so I make a show of washing my body. Not slowly, though because I’m not a masochist. I flex my abs as I wash my stomach. “Okay that’s not f
air, I want to touch them.” Maeve’s voice is stifled by the water and shower glass, but I hear the sexy curl of her voice.
“There’s nothing I want more than your hands on me, but I’m literally washing black suds off myself right now.” I laugh a little as I soap up once more, this time letting the soap sit in my hair to soak. Maeve undresses slowly as she watches, and if she were to climb into this shower right now, I’d call myself clean enough, but she doesn’t make a move to open the door.
“Just getting ready for you,” she says, licking her lips. “I miss you so much when you’re away. I think about you, about being naked with you.” I pause my soapy assault as her words become laden with emotion. “I dream about holding your hand. About kissing you when you get home from work or watching you laugh at one of my dumb jokes. I’m in love with you in every single way, Lincoln.” The water splashes on the tile loudly as I let the clean water rinse me. I don’t respond until I’ve turned the water off. I open the door and the heat from inside hits Maeve, creating an instant film of dew on her bare skin.
“I love you,” she repeats again, her gaze lighting on mine in challenge.
She reaches for a towel on the warming rack, but I grab her forearm. “What would I need that for?” I grumble.
Her smirk grows into a wide grin. “Oh, I don’t know, to get to water off yourself before they turn into icicles.”
“There isn’t going to be anything cold about what’s about to happen.”
“Aren’t you going to tell me you love me too?”
I crack my neck on one side, and then the other. Maeve takes a step back. “I tell you I love you all the time, tonight I’d rather show you how much I love you.”
Grabbing her tiny frame by her hips, I set her on the bathroom counter. She shivers from the cold granite. I kneel in front of her, pulling her legs apart and moving her closer to the edge so I can bury my face in her pussy. She’s soaking wet before my tongue reaches her clit. Maeve sets her thighs on my shoulders and settles into my touch. Her face upturned, she balances back on her hands, muscles in her body clenching and releasing as she enjoys every goddamned second of me pleasuring her. I pull her even closer to my face, using her thighs.
A gasp of bliss echoes in the room as she wriggles against my face. My cock has been hard, but it stiffens even more at the erotic noise. I lap at her core and relish her taste on my tongue. I’ve missed her, too. Having her like this—exposed and writhing, for me. Maeve tells me to slow fuck her with my tongue as she pulls her heels up to rest on the granite. With her in this position, I can see everything and I’d give my left nut to sink into her. Her orgasm hits, her whole body tightening, and relaxing as she calls out my name mixed in with a group of swear words. Standing, I slide a finger inside to rub against her G-spot as she falls apart, panting, begging for more. Begging for my cock.
Her eyes roll back in her head as I stroke her most sensitive area. I kiss her throat and slide across her chest as I move my finger back and forth. When my lips land on hers, she’s ravenous for more. I slam my eyes closed to focus on anything except the fucker between my legs trying to get playtime.
“I want you,” she breathes, words a plea on my swollen lips.
So much for my waning self-control. Pulling my finger from her slowly, I watch. My cock jumps. I grab my cock and rub her wetness over the tip. It literally could not be more perfectly lined up. She’s still splayed with her heels up, and I push down on my dick and let it hit her clit.
She moans, tilting her head back so far it’s now resting against the mirror. My dick feels cold against her velvet fire as I dip the head down to go in a little further. “Ah, you feel so good,” I choke out. From this angle, viewing every fold, and drop of wetness, I know I won’t last long, so I continue to tease the head in and then letting it pop out.
“More,” she pleads. “Give me more.”
“Oh, I’ll give you everything,” I growl, biting my lip as I try to hold myself back. Looking up, I meet my eyes in the mirror and it takes me out of the moment for a second because I don’t look like myself. Not in that quick glance. I’m a man on fire, a man breathing and existing to take the woman in front of me. Because I love her. I slide into her body halfway in the next thrust and she squirms to get used to my girth. I don’t pull out, I circle the base of my dick with my hand. The skin around her pussy is tight as I push in a little more and tilt my dick up to rub her G-spot. “This a little better than my finger?” I ask without meeting her gaze.
“Oh my God,” she says, voice cracking. “Yes.” Maeve swallows hard and closes her eyes as I continue to use my cock to get her off. “More. Fuck me, Lincoln.” My name on her lips is all it takes, I let my dick sip in until it hits the back, her wet heat enveloping me. I fuck her hard, taking her ass in my hands so I can position her body for maximum depth. She comes again, her teeth on my neck and her heart pounding against my chest. The waves of her orgasm grip me tightly, causing the last bit of my self-control to disappear. I pump into her a few more times and release deep inside her. I’m panting from the power, from having her against me and on me. As we both catch our breath, we don’t speak. Not with words, but with touch. Her hands roam my back and I cradle her neck and face.
With her eyes closed softly, I place a gentle kiss on each eyelid. Her sigh of contentment is more praise than I’ve ever wanted. Her sleepy smile hits me, and her blue eyes sear into mine. “My turn,” she says, covering my eyes, so I’ll close them. She repeats what I did to each eyelid. Her lips are warm and indulgent, and the sensation rolls from head to toe. When her lips land on mine, I open my eyes.
“Should I pull out now or wait a while longer?”
“Never pull out,” she teases. Chuckling, I pick her up and carry her into the bedroom. I bring her to the bed without disconnecting our bodies. Laying on top of her, I press into her farther, keeping my dick awake.
“Lincoln, I have to tell you something else.”
“While I’m inside you, damn, this must be bad.” Her gaze flits from mine. “Oh, shit. Is it that bad?”
Maeve raises her hips, and I moan. “Pure torture. Go ahead. Tell me. I’d forgive treason inside you.”
Bringing her hands up to my head, she pulls me down to kiss her while tilting her hips under me back and forth. This is the part where I give her part of my soul because I have nothing left to give her that means anything. My phone rings in the kitchen. It would be easy to ignore it except it’s a preprogrammed ring that makes the blood in my veins turn to ice. Pulling away from her kiss, I cock my head to make sure I’m hearing correctly. My stomach flips. “It’s the secure line at work. I’m sorry, Maeve. I have to get this. I’m on call right now and this could be important.”
She doesn’t make me feel bad, she pushes me off her, and my dick is so sensitive it actually hurts when it hits the cold air. I jog to the kitchen and answer the call.
“Wilds here,” I say.
“There’s been an accident. A bad one, Wilds. How soon can you be in?”
Chapter 12
Maeve
I’m supposed to meet Lincoln inside this bar to honor the men who died in the helicopter crash, but I can’t force my feet to move in the direction to him. In fact, everything in my body wants to run away from this, from Lincoln. The only reason Lincoln wasn’t on the helicopter that killed seven SEALs was because he was in the other troop that came home. He was supposed to be on that helicopter. He traded spots with someone because Rena was back. The troop that stayed, well, they got the short end of the stick. The service ended a couple hours ago, Lincoln rode to the bar with Isaac, and I told him I’d meet him here.
“I can’t go in.” The words surprise me because instead of thinking them, I say them out loud. Run, Maeve. Run. If you don’t, you’re next. Again. The rational part of my brain tells me that I love Lincoln and running is a bad idea, but you can’t change who you are down to the DNA level this quickly. I rest my head against the steering wheel as I wage an internal battle. L
incoln’s been so distracted with the loss of his teammates and with survivor’s guilt that he hasn’t noticed that I’m drawing away from him. It’s my fault for not talking to him about it, but the weight of this narrowly sparing his life, is more than I can process.
I call Ramona as I pull out of the parking lot. I let my gaze land on the bar in the rearview mirror, but not for long. “Ramona,” I rasp the second she picks up. “I’m going to spend the night at your place tonight. Turner is with Lincoln’s parents. We’ll leave for Sonoma tomorrow morning together.” They arrived early to watch Turner during all of the different activities that go along with death. I’m thankful they’re there to care for him, but there’s no way I can even go back to that house to pack a bag. Seeing Turner will break my heart. I need to get away.
She pauses. “Why do I feel like you’re avoiding something?”
My breathing races. “I can’t do it. I have to leave. I have to get away.”
I hear Ramona talking to someone and then a door closes. “Are you home now? I’m going there now.”
“This, this, out of all of the things that’s happened, is what is triggering you? Maeve Lincoln is fine.”
“It’s not that. I mean, it is, but it isn’t. I can’t breathe.”
“Pull over, Maeve. Where are you?”
“Almost to your place,” I say, wheezing, as I drive into the parking lot and fall out of the car. My body doesn’t feel like my own. It feels heavy and wrong, and my lungs won’t take in enough air. Ramona stumbles outside, wearing a bathrobe.
“Jesus, Maeve, get in here.” She helps me stand, closes my car door and helps me up the stairs. I sit on her sofa and put my head between my legs.
“Why do they tell you to do this? It makes it even harder to breathe.” I’m panting laboriously as I throw my ringing phone across the room. Ramona hands me a glass of water and I take a tiny sip and set it on the coffee table. “I fucking hate this. Why does this always happen?”
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