'It certainly did,' said the Fifth Doctor.
He turned towards the tower. 'You can come out now!'
Tegan andTurlough emerged, stretching cramped limbs. They looked down at the prone robot.
'What did you do to it?' asked Tegan.
'I think we gave it a nervous breakdown,' said the Fifth Doctor.
'I know how it feels!'
'Who's this Buridan you were on about?' demanded Turlough.
'Ah, a bit of an old sophist,' said the Doctor, fondly, 'Buridan was a French philosopher in the 14th century who once carried out a rather cruel experiment with a hungry donkey.'
'He placed it exactly between two mangers filled with hay,' continued the Fifth Doctor. "The poor beast starved to death because it couldn't work out which one to go for.'
'Something similar happened with the robot,' said the Doctor.
'When it's about to attack it locks on to the electrical impulses from its enemy's brain. Now it happens that my brain patterns and those of my friend here are remarkably similar.
To the robot it seemed as if it was registering the same target in two places at once. The confusion caused an overload.'
'Temporary or permanent?' asked Turlough.
'I'm not sure,' said the Fifth Doctor thoughtfully.
"Then let's not stay around to find out,' said Tegan practically.
'Seconded,' said Turlough.'
The Doctors looked at each other.
'They're quite right,' said the Fifth Doctor. 'I hate to cut this reunion short, but we'd better be on our way. You first!
The Doctor shook hands with Turlough and tookTegan's hand and kissed it. 'A very great pleasure to meet you again!'
Tegan looked hard at him. 'You two aren't just very alike are you?' she said.
"That wouldn't have fooled the robot. You're both the same!'She looked at the Fifth Doctor. 'Is he that one of your past selves we never met? The one who got trapped in a time loop?'
'Certainly not!' said the Doctor.
'Excellent fellow, though. We met quite recently.'
'Then he's one of your future selves,' said Tegan. 'How does it feel, seeing your future self for the first time?'
The Fifth Doctor smiled. 'To tell you the truth, Tegan, it's a little spooky!'
'I must go,' said the Doctor, shaking hands with himself. 'Goodbye!'
As he turned to go a harsh voice boomed, 'Stop! Do not move!'
They turned and saw a small group of figures grouped on top of the nearby hillock. Squat and dome headed, they all wore space armour. The heavy-duty military blasters they carried were trained on the Doctors and their companions.
Tegan glared at them in irritation.
'Now what? Who the hell are this lot? What are they doing here?'
The booming voice answered her question.'This territory has now been annexed. You are all prisoners of the glorious Sontaran Empire!'
Chapter 16
Battleground
Commander Vrag of Sontaran Special Forces surveyed his commando squad with pride. Veterans of over a hundred interplanetary battles, ferocious and ruthlessly efficient, they were everything Sontaran soldiers should be.
This was a great occasion for the squad - another muster at the Sontaran Military Academy. A million cadets were lined up in serried ranks on the city-sized parade ground. No less a dignitary than Admiral Sarg of the Sontaran Space Fleet was to preside over the proceedings.
As part of the opening ceremonies, Vrag's commando unit was to be presented with the Sontaran Medal of Pacification, awarded only to teams who had destroyed at least 10,000 alien life forms.
Lined up beside their sleeping slabs in the immaculate little barrack-dome, the squad stood rigidly to attention, helmets polished, battle armour gleaming.
'March off on my command, lads,' barked Vrag. 'Don't let me down now.
The eyes of the future are upon you!'
He paused, checking his battle—
chronometer. Everything had been timed to the nano-second. 'Squad -
forward!'
The squad stepped forward, turned and marched out of the dome in pairs.
Outside they formed into fours and marched briskly towards the towering saluting platform, Commander Vrag leading the way.
The blood-stirring, ineffably sweet strains of the Sontaran Anthem pulsed across the parade ground to greet them, and a guttural cheer rose from a million Sontaran throats.
But then the cheering and the music tailed away as the air around them blurred for a moment and the ecstatic crowds simply disappeared...
***
Commander Vrag and his men suddenly found themselves marching up a steep slope towards a little hill.
Automatically Vrag roared, 'Squad, halt!'
They halted and Vrag looked around. Behind them the ground sloped away to a green and pleasant expanse of woods and meadows, with a river meandering through.
Immune to the scene's beauty, Vrag saw only a clear field of fire and a gratifying lack of opposing military installations. He didn't know where he was, or why, but a Sontaran's duty was always clear - to conquer.
'Battle-readiness, lads,' he ordered.
'Take that hill!'
Drawing their blasters, the squad marched forward. On the other side of the hill they saw the remains of a ruined building.
An oddly-assorted group of alien lifeforms was a grouped around a strange blue box.
Vrag undipped the battle-hailer from his utility belt and raised it to his helmet.
'Stop! Do not move!'
The aliens swung round and stared at him in astonishment, then began talking agitatedly among themselves.
Vrag raised the battle-hailer again.
'This territory has now been annexed. You are all prisoners of the glorious Sontaran Empire!' He turned to his troops. 'Surround them!'
The squad marched down the hill and surrounded the astonished aliens, covering them with their blasters.
Vrag surveyed his prisoners. There were four of them altogether. Three male humanoids, one with brown cranial fur, the second with yellow.
The third humanoid had red cranial fur and appeared less mature. The fourth had short reddish-brown cranial fur and the differently constructed thorax that according to the Sontaran Recognition Manual Know Your Alien, marked humanoid females. A metallic figure lay curled up in the grass some way away.
Vrag addressed the brown-furred male humanoid.
'You are natives of this planet?'
'No, just visitors, like yourselves.'
'We are not visitors, we are the advance guard of an invading force. I see you do not know who you are dealing with!'
Commander Vrag took off his dome-shaped helmet, revealing a dome-shaped head, a leathery epidermis, a thin lipless mouth and small, red, burning eyes. These were the features that gave the Sontaran race so distinctive and distinguished an appearance. Every Sontaran was used to the awe inspired in lesser races.
The humanoid female gasped, no doubt expressing admiration. The younger male muttered the name of some native deity.
The other two males spoke together: 'Sontarans! "They sounded resigned, recognising their inevitable defeat.
'We are indeed Sontarans,' said Commander Vrag proudly. 'Resistance is useless!'
"That's what they all say,' muttered the yellow-furred humanoid.
'Tell me,' said the brown-furred humanoid. 'Are you really part of an invasion force, or did you suddenly just find yourselves here without really knowing why?'
Vrag marched up to him, thrusting the blaster under his nose.
'How do you know this? Did you bring us here?'
'Certainly not! Why would we want to do that?'
'Who then?'
It was the brown-furred humanoid who replied: 'You don't imagine we deliberately chose the dubious pleasure of your company, do you?
You were brought here by our enemies.'
'Why?'
'Well, knowing your particular
temperament, they probably hoped
you would kill us.'
'Unless you can come up with a more convincing story, their hopes may well be fulfilled!'
'But don't you see?' said the yellow-furred humanoid. 'Whoever brought you here is your enemy as much as ours. Purely for their own purposes, they've stranded you on a strange planet far from home. If you kill us, you'll be acting like puppets, carrying out their plan.'
Vrag stared at him in bafflement.
Neither temperament nor training had prepared him for a situation like this.
The Sontaran creed was simple: destroy the enemy. But if you weren't sure who the enemy actually was...
'What are you suggesting?'
'You should ally yourselves with us and help us to defeat our mutual enemy.'
'Sontarans do not ally themselves with inferior alien species,' said Vrag automatically.
'How do you know we're inferior?'
asked the female humanoid.
'You are not Sontarans.'
'Of all the stupid, arrogant -'
'Never mind, Tegan,' said the humanoid with the yellow fur, wearily.
'Let it go.'
The brown-furred humanoid turned to his friend. 'Nice try - but you ought to know you can't make a Sontaran see reason.'
Yellow-fur shrugged. 'One always has to try.' 'Silence!' bellowed Vrag.
Everyone shut up and stood looking expectantly at him. Uneasily, Vrag realised he had no idea what to do next. He looked around for inspiration, and saw the blue box. A blue box...
Suddenly Vrag's deep-set red eyes blazed with excitement. Only one of the Sontarans' many enemies was so important that he had an Alien Recognition Manual all to himself. The Doctor!
The Doctor's purposes were often baffling in that he sometimes acted against his own self-interest.
Recognition was difficult, since to Sontarans all humanoids looked alike.
To make matters worse, the Doctor's appearance sometimes changed.
But just one thing was constant. The Doctor always travelled in a time-and-space craft disguised as a blue box. It was called - it was called theTARDIS!
Capture of theTARDIS, when and wherever encountered, was a top Sontaran priority. Sontaran time-travel capability was extremely limited, based as it was on the osmic projector. With a machine like the TARDIS
the universe was theirs. They could go back in time and destroy the Rutan Host before it was spawned.
Commander Vrag saw immortality opening up before him. He had captured the TARDIS - and, presumably, the Doctor as well. His place in the Sontaran Hall of Fame was assured.
'Which of you is the Doctor?' he snarled.
The two adult humanoids spoke together. 'I am.'
'Do not attempt to deceive me!'
The young male humanoid said,
'Believe it or not, it's true. They both are.'
Unable to deal with the problem, Vrag decided, in true Sontaran fashion, to ignore it.
'No matter. Here is what we will do -
Doctors! We shall all enter your TARDIS, and you will take me and my troops back to Sontara. There you will be interrogated and we will discover who is who. Co-operate and your lives will be spared. Now move!"
The humanoids all stayed put.
Vrag's mind went back to the manual. Humanoids could often be influenced by indirect pressure applied through their females and through their young.
'Move,' ordered Vrag again. 'Or I shall have the younger humanoids killed -
the female first!'
Jabbing a thick finger at three of his troopers he barked, 'You, you and you, execution squad.'
Three troopers broke ranks and lined up before the female, raising their blasters.
'Firing party, take aim...'
The female glared at them, seemingly unafraid.
'All right, we'll go,' said the yellow-furred Doctor. 'Come on, all of you, there's nothing else for it.'
As the group began moving towards the blue box, Vrag noticed the silver form prone in the grass nearby.
'What is that?'
'Be careful,' said the yellow-furred Doctor. 'It's -'
The brown-furred Doctor cut across him. 'It's a servo-robot - vital to the operation of theTARDIS.'
'Why did he warn me to be careful?'
'It's an extremely complex piece of robotics,' said the brown-furred Doctor loftily. 'Far in advance of anything on your planet.'
'Why doesn't it move?'
'It's in a dormant phase. You can easily rouse it.'
As he spoke he stared challengingly, not at Vrag but at the other Doctor.
Vrag sensed some kind of emotional undercurrent between the two of them, but he was too impatient to bother himself about it. Instead he turned to the nearest trooper. 'Get that thing moving.'
The trooper moved over to the robot and booted it hard in the side. The robot rose in one smooth motion. It extruded a sword from its right arm and sliced off the Sontaran trooper's head, which rolled away across the grass.
The headless Sontaran stood for a moment, the stump of its obscenely thick neck gushing a stinking fluid, and then fell to its knees.
The robot surveyed its astonished enemies for a moment, blurred and apparently vanished.
It reappeared on the far side of the group. Its arm swept down and a metal javelin pierced the probic vent of another trooper, killing him outright...
***
'Back to the TARDIS!' shouted the Fifth Doctor, starting to run. The Doctor, Tegan andTurlough followed him .
Without hesitation. The Fifth Doctor opened the door and ushered Tegan and Turlough inside, then turned to his other self. 'Are you coming?'
The Doctor said, 'Just a moment. There's no hurry, not now'
He was watching the battle between the Raston Warrior Robot and the commando squad of Sontarans. It was not unlike the battle with the Cybermen his other self had witnessed in the Death Zone. But the present reality was far more ghastly than that memory. Perhaps it was because the Sontarans, for all their squat, troll-like shape, were somehow more human.
They were creatures of flesh and blood, and they were being butchered.
The Raston Warrior Robot was everywhere at once. Sometimes it flashed from point to point on the perimeter of the group, bringing down trooper after trooper with its deadly projectiles. At other times it was suddenly in their midst, lopping off arms and legs, and shearing heads from bodies with its sword blade.
The Sontaran troopers fired their blasters wildly, but the Robot was never in one place long enough to form any sort of target. In the swirling confusion of the battle, they succeeded only in killing each other.
It was over at last - or almost. Only Vrag was left on his feet. Five javelins had pierced his body, and his shoulder was bleeding from a sword slash, but he refused to die.
The Raston Warrior Robot appeared beside his swaying form. It drew its sword arm back for the final stroke - and Vrag's great leathery hands sprang out and seized it by the throat.
The robot struggled wildly, but Vrag's hands tightened in a death-grip. With a final paroxysm of dying strength, Vrag wrenched the head from the robot's body and hurled it from him.
The headless robot stood swaying for a moment and then toppled over. A moment later Vrag crashed to the blood-soaked ground beside his enemy.
The Doctor ran over, skirting the mangled bodies of the dead Sontaran troopers. Vrag opened his eyes and saw the Doctor kneeling beside him.
Feebly he gasped, 'I thank you, Doctor.'
The Doctor looked down at him.
'Thank me? Why?'
'You trapped me - but you gave me a true warrior's death. I killed that thing, did I not?'
The Doctor looked at the headless Raston Warrior Robot.
'Oh, yes. If it's any consolation, you won.'
Vrag's thin lips twisted in the rare Sontaran smile. His head fell back.
The Doctor straightened up and saw the Fifth Doctor beside him, lo
oking sadly around at the scene of carnage.
'I suppose all this was necessary.'
'You know it was,' said the Doctor.
'They were prepared to execute
Tegan and Turlough. They'd have taken us to Sontara and tortured us for information. Think of the TARDIS in Sontaran hands! We did what we had to do.'
'I suppose so,' said the Fifth Doctor wearily. 'Let's be on our way.' He looked at the pile of slaughtered Sontarans. 'I've rather gone off the Eye of Orion as a holiday resort.'
Doctor Who: The Eight Doctors Page 17