Oh, right. She’d forgotten.
Charlie spoke to Blaine. “I hope we’re all comfortable enough that we won’t need it. But if things get too intense, I don’t want anyone getting hurt, physically or emotionally. I want everyone—” he looked pointedly at Meredith, “—to feel safe.”
She stood and clapped her hands together. “Okay. Everyone’s safe. Let’s go.”
“We don’t have Blaine’s safe word.”
She huffed and glared at Blaine. “What’re you waiting for?”
The man smiled. “Well, right this moment, I’m waiting for you to sober up a little.”
“Oh no, don’t do that. This is good. I’m less nervous. All those people today. How do you live like this? Strangers coming in and out all day long. It used to be so peaceful around here.” Tears filled her eyes. She missed the quiet. She missed the three of them alone together. She missed Charlie seducing them in the kitchen. “Where’re Abby and Zach? They don’t like the crowds either, do they?”
“The twins keep the dogs busy when they’re here. They even sleep with them.”
Her shoulders slumped. “Oh. That’s good. Okay, let’s go to bed.”
“Blaine?” Charlie said.
“Let’s make it easy and go with red,” Blaine said.
Charlie crossed his arms over his chest and stared sternly at Meredith. “Who’s in charge?”
She sighed. Soon. The butterflies in her stomach were as excited as she was. “You are.”
Charlie spoke to Blaine. “I was gonna do this in my room, but let’s use yours. We can check out the game while she sobers up.”
“No, I don’t want to sober up.” She reached for the glass Charlie had set on the desk, but he blocked her.
“Then it’s a good thing you’re not in charge.” He pulled her to her feet and dragged his hand from her wrist to her shoulder and down to the swell of her breast.
She held her breath, waiting for more. The room began to spin, and she closed her eyes to stop it, but it only spun faster. She opened them at the same time she grabbed Charlie’s arms to steady herself. “Uh-oh. I think I drank too much. The room’s twirling. Twirling,” she said in a singsong voice as she followed the motion with her head, hoping to counteract the constant spiraling. Didn’t help. “Oh, yeah. It’s definitely twirling.” She tightened her grip on him.
“Are you gonna throw up?” he asked.
“I don’t throw up,” she said, offended at the suggestion. “Not when I’m drunk.”
“That’s good news.” He scooped her up, sending a fresh surge to the merry-go-round in her head.
He jostled her as he walked, but she didn’t mind. She liked being carried by Charlie. He was warm and safe, and he smelled good, like...like...well, like something good. She supposed he just smelled like Charlie, and that was good enough. Even with the world spinning, it was nice. He laid her on a cushy bed. She curled up on her side and closed her eyes. She’d just sleep for a few minutes until the world stopped spinning. Except it twirled faster when she closed her eyes, so she opened them and stared at a beige wall. Then the light went out and the wall darkened.
She struggled to sit up. “What are y’all doing?”
Blaine pointed the remote at the TV. “We’re gonna catch the end of the Rangers game.”
She crawled to the head of the bed and leaned against the headboard. “Then can we please have sex?”
“If you haven’t gone to sleep by then,” Blaine answered.
“I won’t,” she said happily.
Blaine and Charlie bounced on the bed, bumping her shoulders then settling against her like earmuffs. They spoke in low tones to each other, the drone of the game in the background. Following their conversation took too much effort. But it was nice simply sitting here alone with them. No one else around. Just the three of them like before. She’d been waiting weeks for this. She snuggled down between them and sighed. No, longer than weeks. Years, maybe. Or her whole life, except that was rather dramatic.
Their voices soothed. She slipped further down, and her eyelids drooped. The world stopped spinning.
Chapter Twenty-One
Meredith woke in a cocoon of sheets and blankets. The room was light, and she was alone. She rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. Despite the quantity of tequila she’d consumed last night, her memories were as crystal clear as her glass had been. She’d passed out.
“Good morning.”
She startled and jerked her head toward Blaine. He was sitting in a navy-and-green plaid club chair near the window. His bare feet, peeking below the frayed hem of his jeans, were propped on a matching ottoman. His fingers were inserted in a closed book that rested on the arm of the chair. His T-shirt was ancient, so worn and thin she could see the contours of his muscles beneath.
She sat up and checked out the room. It was furnished in a style similar to Charlie’s, but Blaine’s was larger with a sitting area and TV that Charlie’s room didn’t have. The bed had a wrought iron headboard but no footboard.
She smoothed her hand down the navy-and-cream quilt across her lap. “Where’s Charlie?”
“He and Lindsey took a group on an ATV ride. They’ll be gone most of the day.”
“Oh.” Of course, Charlie had a job. He couldn’t drop it just because she was around. Still, she was disappointed and kind of weirded out. She was in Blaine’s bedroom. With Blaine. Without Charlie.
“How’re you feeling?”
Weird. “Fine.”
“You hungry?”
“Yeah.” But she needed to shower, brush her teeth and put on clean clothes before she ventured out into the now-very-public lodge.
Blaine stood and stretched his arms above his head, giving her a brief view of his abs. Her mouth should have been watering. Sexy man. Sexy body. The two of them in an intimate setting. He tossed his book on the chair behind him, and the abs disappeared. “I’ll go see what’s left from breakfast and bring you a plate.”
“No. That’s okay. I know where the kitchen is.” She glanced down at her clothes, the same denim shorts and cotton T-shirt she’d had on last night. “I’ll change then head that way.”
Blaine maneuvered around the ottoman to stand at the side of the bed. “I’m sorry about yesterday. We shouldn’t have thrown you into everything.”
She waved a hand in the air. “It’s not your fault. It’s me. I should have expected it, but I thought it would be like last time. You know—just the three of us. If I’d been thinking, I would have realized. I would have been prepared.”
“I wish you’d said something. You could’ve hung out in your room or even mine.” He nodded at the TV in the corner. “Veg in front of the tube.”
“Thanks. I might take you up on that today.”
“Uh, actually, I thought it would be good for us to spend the day alone together. Today. You and me, without Charlie.”
He didn’t have time for that, not with all the guests. Besides, without Charlie, it would just be weird. “That’s sweet of you to offer, but you’re busy. You don’t have to babysit me. I’ll be fine.”
He sighed. “You’re not comfortable with me.”
“Yeah, right,” she scoffed. But he was right. It didn’t make sense. Not after the things they’d done.
“Is it Charlie? Because he’s on board.” He slipped a single folded sheet of paper out of his book and handed it to her. “He left this for you.”
Hey Doc, I’ll be gone until late afternoon. You and Blaine have a good time. Do whatever you want. Don’t worry about the green-eyed monster. I’m as cool with y’all together as you are with me and Blaine together.
“You read this?” she asked.
“Yep. I thought we’d pack a picnic. There’s a beautiful spot where no one will find us.”
“Why? I mean why go through all that trouble? He’s giving us permission to fuck.” And for some reason, the idea didn’t excite her. It annoyed her, which didn’t make sense. Hadn’t she done the same thing with them? In fact, she’d insisted on it. “Why pretend it’s anything else?”
He braced his hands on either side of her hips and leaned in. His proximity aroused all sorts of conflicting emotions—too many to sort out. Her brain was a confused mush. “He’s giving us permission to do whatever we want to do. I want to spend today with you.” His gaze held hers. “Not fucking. Just talking, hanging out.”
She glanced down at the quilt. “I don’t want to interfere with your work. Y’all are obviously busy, and you’ve got the campaign on top of it all.”
“Not today.” His lips caressed her neck, whispered over her jaw and tickled the corner of her mouth. “Today is all about you.”
She didn’t have an argument for that, didn’t even know why she wanted to argue. But she did, and as he kissed her, she mulled reasons and excuses.
Blaine pulled back and cocked his head to the side. “Interesting.”
“You sound like Spock when he’s confronted with a particularly human situation.”
He grinned. “I kinda feel like Spock.”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. Maybe nothing. If I figure it out, I’ll tell you.”
Two cups of coffee, one American breakfast and one hour later, she stared out the window of Blaine’s pickup truck as it bounced along an ungraded road that became less and less like a road and more like a foot path until it ended in a blockade of trees and bushes. Blaine hefted the backpack, which held their picnic, from the back seat and slipped it over his shoulders. They hiked and talked like normal people. It was surreal when she considered why she was at the ranch. From time to time, Blaine stopped to point out a bird or a squirrel or to hydrate. If there was room for them to walk side-by-side, he held her hand. If not, he walked ahead of her, clearing a path. It was nice, like two friends together instead of two lovers or potential lovers. She began to relax. Gradually that weird strain between them was replaced with a different kind of tension. When he was in front of her, she watched the play of muscles across his shoulders, his confident, sure-footed strides. When he was next to her, holding her hand, she admired his flexed biceps and forearm and sneaked glances at his profile. His wide mouth was still as sexy as it had been in college. She remembered why she’d suggested the ménage.
They stopped to eat lunch next to a dry stream bed. After they’d finished and packed away their trash, Blaine lowered himself behind Meredith and wrapped his arms around her. She snuggled back against him, content to sit and talk or satisfy the slowly building desire.
“I didn’t know you had a sister,” she said. “Any other siblings?”
“Just Lindsey.”
“Y’all are close then?”
“Yeah.”
She asked the question that had been bothering her since meeting Lindsey. “Does she know why I’m here?”
He snorted. “Not that close. She knows you’re Charlie’s girlfriend. She knows we’re friends.”
“She doesn’t know about the ménage?”
“Lindsey doesn’t discuss her sex life with me, and I return the favor by not discussing mine with her.” He paused. “Is that what’s bothering you?”
She sighed. “No. I don’t think so. Anyway, I’m fine now. This picnic was a great idea.”
“We don’t have to do this,” Blaine said earnestly. “The three of us doesn’t have to happen.”
“I want it to happen. At least I think I do. I’m pretty sure.”
He chuckled. “One hundred percent maybe.”
His lips pressed against her shoulder. A kiss. But not seductive. Friendly. Though how she determined the difference, she didn’t know.
“Yeah.” She almost said more but caught herself.
“But...”
“I don’t want it to be weird. I think that’s part of why I got so drunk last night. To mask any awkwardness. And then this morning when Charlie wasn’t there...”
“That’s why I wanted to spend some time alone with you. We haven’t had that. You and Charlie have. Charlie and I have. But you and I haven’t. I think if this is gonna work, we all need couple’s time, too.”
As they hiked back to the truck, Meredith tried to think of a way to bring up adoption and birth fathers and secret babies to feel him out on whether he’d try to take Cassandra away from her dads if he turned out to be her biological father. But how the hell did you work that into a conversation? Maybe she could just get his impression on kids in general. If he had no interest in being a dad, it would make it easier to tell him that he might—though the odds were miniscule—have a daughter. On the other hand, if she brought up kids, he might think she was getting too serious, too fast. Hmm, maybe in a roundabout way.
“Did Charlie tell you that I have a sister?” she asked.
Blaine chuckled. “Yeah. He told me the story about y’all piercing your brother’s ears.”
“She’s pregnant,” she blurted. “I’m gonna be an aunt.”
“He didn’t mention that. Congratulations.”
“It seems odd. My sister with a baby.”
“Yeah. I get that. I felt the same way when Lindsey had the twins.”
Perfect set-up. “You ever think about having kids?”
He stutter-stepped. “You want kids?”
Okay, maybe not so perfect. “God, no.”
They walked in silence for a few minutes. Blaine finally broke it. “Until a few weeks ago, I was officially gay, so I didn’t really think about it.”
“But there are other ways. Surrogacy. Adoption.”
“Yeah, I guess.” No enthusiasm there, and he was looking at her funny.
She didn’t push for more. Despite her supposedly clever segue into the conversation, it was uncomfortable.
When they returned to the lodge, Charlie was waiting for them. He put his arm around her, and she slipped into his side as if she belonged there. They ate dinner with Grant, Grace and Lindsey again, but this time Meredith only drank water. Blaine left the table first and about thirty minutes later, Charlie and Meredith followed. But instead of taking her to the office or her room or Charlie’s, they went to Blaine’s.
Charlie knocked on the door. Her heart about pounded out of her chest, and she held her breath.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Meredith seemed nervous, eyes wide, movements stiff as she entered the room. Blaine couldn’t help but wonder if she was ready for this. He didn’t want to push, didn’t want to make the same mistake he’d made in college.
She licked her lips as Charlie stood behind her and ran his palms up and down her arms. After a quick glance at Blaine, her gaze darted around the room.
Blaine stood in front of her and picked up her hands. He waited for her to look at him. His touch seemed to calm her, and she smiled shyly.
“You wanna watch some TV?” he asked.
She shook her head, and her smile transformed from shy to seductive. She stood on tiptoe and brushed her lips against his. Their real first kiss since that night. It stole his breath for a moment. And then he couldn’t help but answer. First sampling, savoring, then gorging. He lost himself in her.
She pulled back, slipped her hands from his and grabbed the hem of her shirt.
Oh, fuck. This wasn’t happening. Couldn’t be. He had to be dreaming.
But Charlie covered her hands before she got any further. “Safe word is red. Got it?”
Meredith nodded and sighed.
Blaine gulped and managed a raspy, “Yeah.”
“Good.” The word still hung in the air when Meredith’s T-shirt floated to the floor.
Charlie thumbed her nipples through the white lace bra, but he spoke to Blaine. “You wanna touch?”
“If it’s okay with her,” Blaine said. He wanted to touch so badly that he clenched his hands at his sides.
“She doesn’t get a say. She does what I tell her. Isn’t that right, Doc?”
Meredith whimpered and arched her back, filling Charlie’s hands with her breasts.
Charlie crooked a finger in the lace and eased it down just enough to bare a nipple. “Pretty, isn’t it?”
Mesmerized, Blaine extended his hand to the warm, pale globe. Her glazed eyes closed, and a long moan vibrated against his hand. He wiped his thumb over the peaked nub. He could see her heart tapping against her chest, feel it fluttering against his palm. She was so delicate, so fragile. It wasn’t her size or her gender. It was something inside her. He’d seen it their first time together. And in the last month, he’d realized the years hadn’t toughened her.
“Please.” She swallowed. “More.” That blatant sexuality should have negated her fragility, but it only enhanced it.
While Charlie plumped her flesh, Blaine obliged. He rolled the nipple between his thumb and forefinger and lowered his head to the other breast, sucking that nipple into his mouth and swirling it with his tongue.
Her chest rose and fell erratically, matching Blaine’s own rapid breathing.
Charlie’s low, commanding voice penetrated the fog of absolute pleasure. “Meredith, I wanna see your hands on his cock.”
Her hands were on his fly. Her eagerness as she unbuttoned and unzipped eased his anxiety. She parted the denim and pushed down the front of his boxers. She hesitated, her tongue moistening her lips, her pupils almost vanquishing the blue of her eyes. She slowly and deliberately wrapped her fingers around his cock while Charlie watched over her shoulder.
“Fuck.” His dick jerked, and his hips bucked. He couldn’t help it. Meredith’s hand. Charlie’s eyes. God, it was more than good. There were no words.
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