by Margo Kelly
Kitsuneshin: Slayer, what state are you in?
Janie told me not to answer him. It was easy to keep the conversations separate, because the private ones were colored blue, guild ones purple, and the general Skadi boxes were black. When someone opened a private chat with another person, a tiny blue square blinked next to their username. The full chat box wouldn’t open until the user clicked the square.
I read Kit’s question again, but before I could decide what to do, I heard Mom coming down the hall. I quickly typed:
ImmortalSlayer: The northwest
Mom knocked on my door. I closed the private chat box and collapsed the game before she moved in direct view of my monitor.
“Did you finish your homework?”
“Yes.”
“Then why did you collapse Skadi?”
“I don’t know. I just did.”
“Pull it up.”
“Fine.” What was she up to? I enlarged the game screen and typed:
ImmortalSlayer: My mom says hi.
“Thea! Why did you do that?”
“I thought you wanted me to.” I stole a quick peek to gauge her reaction.
She took a deep breath. “Show me how you play this.”
I explained it in the best monotone I could muster. I knew she didn’t care about the workings of Skadi. Why would she? Mom never played on the computer. I kept my eye on the chat box, but since my friends knew she was watching, they kept the conversation moving with game-related nonsense.
Mom interrupted my tutorial. “Are you missing important things? The comments seem to fly by pretty fast.”
“I can always scroll back if I miss something—” The words spilled out before I realized what I said. I rubbed the back of my neck.
“Show me.”
I scrolled back through the comments, to the point where I identified Mom’s presence.
“Further,” Mom said. I sighed and complied, moving line by line.
“Far enough?” I asked.
“No.”
“Are you looking for something?”
“Not necessarily.”
The pressure in my skull increased like a vice tightened down on it. I scrolled up to the point where Kit had asked where I lived, and I had answered.
“You gave him personal information,” Mom said.
I cringed. “I didn’t tell him Idaho, and I didn’t tell him Nampa.” I twisted in my chair and studied her.
Mom scrunched her bare toes along the surface of the carpet. She stiffened her back, and her lips tightened. The computer hummed in the speechless silence. Mom switched her weight from one foot to the other. “Thea, I’m concerned you’re spending too much time with this game and this Kit character.”
She didn’t trust me. My jaw clenched so fast that I bit my tongue. Pain shot through my mouth. “I’m not doing anything wrong,” I said while massaging my jaw.
“Then don’t collapse your computer screen when I enter your room.”
“Okay.”
“Will you type that I left the room, and let me read what they say afterward?”
Fuming, I was certain flames would shoot out of my fingertips at any second, but I typed anyway.
ImmortalSlayer: My mom wants me to tell u she left the room.
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” The chat box was still. “If you want to keep your Internet privileges, work with me.”
“Fine.”
ImmortalSlayer: She’s really gone let’s just finish our quest
Red: A good surfer doesn’t get wet.
“What does that mean?” Mom asked.
“She likes to quote people and old sayings.” I tapped on the keyboard.
ImmortalSlayer: Nice one, Red.
Red: Mahalo.
“Is she from Hawaii?” Mom asked.
“I haven’t asked her.” Truth.
“But can you see how simple things like saying, ‘Mahalo’ can give away personal details about where you live?” I didn’t respond. I had to keep my lips closed or I would blurt out something rude. Mom didn’t wait long before she started yammering again.
“Why would you choose such an awful username?”
I struggled to control my facial expressions. She folded her arms across her chest. I took a deep breath and tried to sound calm. “It’s a name. That’s all. Online you make things up. That’s part of the fun.”
She remained motionless. I refocused on the game, and Mom pulled over a chair to stay and watch. I participated in sterile conversations in the chat box about the game. After about fifteen minutes, she left in silence. I phoned Janie and told her everything.
“Are you kidding me?” she asked.
“Nope. I’m just glad she didn’t walk in when I had a private chat box open with Kit.”
“What do you guys talk about?”
I wasn’t sure how much to reveal.
In her angrier deep voice she asked again, “What are you saying in private chats?”
“He tells me stuff about his dad and his friends. He asked me to keep it quiet. That’s all.” I’m sure she knew I was holding out on her, but she didn’t push it and changed the subject.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with our mothers. I hate my hair. I feel so ugly now.”
“I’m sorry . . .” I’d been so concerned about my own situation I’d forgotten about her awful hair. “What can I do to help you?” I wanted to be supportive. I did. But I was distracted by Kit. He was all I could think about.
“Stay away from Kit,” Janie said. “That’s what you can do to help me. I have a bad feeling about him, and I have too much to worry about right now with my mom. I can’t deal with this, too.”
I wondered if she was right about Kit.
CHAPTER 6
Mom and I stepped into Studio Four of the rec center, and my chest tightened. The stink of perspiration filled the thick air, and class hadn’t even begun yet. Mom and I had been concerned about passing the test tonight at this, our final self-defense class. I had no idea everyone else would be just as apprehensive. No one said a word because the sign taped to the door read, “No talking.”
Jackson and Keith waited at the front of the room. With their feet apart and their hands clasped behind them, they were sculpted mercenaries. Tight clothing and mirrors revealed their perfect bodies, front and back. When the last students arrived and took their places, Jackson spoke. His deep raspy voice filled the room.
“Law number one: You will be assaulted by someone larger and stronger than you. That’s because bullies intentionally select smaller people. They think they can intimidate you. After tonight, that will be the last mistake they ever make. Over the last month, you have learned to use your core strength and body mass against vital kill zones. No matter how big or strong, you know the skills to knock a predator out cold.”
Kill zones. Knock a predator out cold. Sheesh. I only wanted to be able to stand up to Josh. I didn’t really want to hurt anyone. But over the four weeks of this class, I realized strength, psychology, and confidence were all necessary if I wanted to defend myself. I hoped I could do it.
My palms started to sweat when a man in padded gear entered the room. Duct tape patched multiple spots on his protective equipment. His helmet was already in place, but he tightened the chin strap as he walked. He stepped onto the mat, and then he pounded his fists together. My breath caught.
Keith picked up a clipboard that must have held a list of our names, because after he looked at it, he studied us. I prayed he wouldn’t say my name first. He locked eyes with me, and I almost panicked. He gave me a reassuring nod and called someone else’s name. A grandma. Seriously. She had to be like fifty or something. Surely, they wouldn’t actually hurt her.
Jackson turned her away from the padded attacker, and then he addressed the group. “No more silence tonight. No more letting others hurt you. No more intimidation. No more good girls. Tonight, you will fight. Fight for your lives. And, as you watch your friends fight for t
heir lives, you will yell for them. Cheer for them. And give them your strength.”
He left the grandma in the center of the mats by herself and moved over next to me. He glanced at me, smiled ever-so-slightly, and then faced back to the mats. His body radiated heat, and his triceps flexed when he grasped his hands behind his back.
A bead of sweat rolled down my right temple.
The padded assailant ran up behind the grandma and grabbed her shoulders. She screamed, flipped around, and shoved the heel of her hand up into his jaw. The room erupted in cheers; the circle of students screamed their support. My throat clenched. I was paralyzed with fear. I knew it wasn’t real. But it seemed wrong for this man to attack her. My cheek quivered when a hand touched my back. To my left, Mom bent forward and screamed with viciousness I’d never before seen in her. To my right, Jackson whispered to me, “You’re all right. You’re safe.” He rubbed his hand across my back until his arm wrapped around my shoulders. My skin tingled. This caring Goliath was different from the tough mercenary I’d met in the first class. I leaned into him, grateful for the comfort he provided, but at the same time, ridiculously embarrassed. I was the only one not yelling and screaming to cheer on the grandma. She finished knocking her assailant down and raised her arms, a champion. Everyone in the circle ran onto the mats and embraced her. Jackson pressed against the small of my back and urged me forward to join the group. Reluctantly, I did as he indicated.
Person after person fought off the padded attacker, and it became easier for me to watch and eventually to cheer and clap as well. About halfway through the group, Mom’s name was called. Her face, flushed from the adrenaline and the yelling, showed no hesitation when she ran out onto the mat. I wished I had her strength.
Before I could blink, the padded attacker picked Mom up and slammed her down on her back. He straddled her across the waist, and instinctively I stepped out on the mat to help her, but Jackson grabbed my wrist and restrained me.
“She has to do this,” he said. He pulled me back to the edge of the mat, and a sour odor, like mildewed clothes or milk gone bad, clung inside my nose. I wasn’t sure if the smell came from Jackson or someone else. I snuck a quick sniff of my shirt. It wasn’t me, so I ignored the stink and yelled for Mom.
“Go Mom! You can do it!” I wiped sweat from my forehead and continued shouting for her. Soon, she wrapped her legs around his upper body, pinned his arms, and used her lower body strength to drag him backward toward the mats. And then . . . in an instant . . . she balled up her fists and pounded him in the groin. She darted out from under him and jumped in triumph. Everyone cheered and ran in to congratulate her. I threw my arms around her and hugged her tighter than I had in years. Her wet face rubbed against mine as she kissed my cheeks.
We took our places around the mats again, and Keith called more names. Finally, he summoned me to the center.
“Thea Reid.”
Keith watched me without blinking, and I stepped forward.
At that point, I had so much adrenaline pumping from the energy of the other women that I knew I could do it. I had to. I couldn’t be the one to fail, and I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I took my place in the middle with my back to the padded attacker and rocked from foot to foot. The buzz of the florescent lights amplified, and I started to count nervously. One . . . Two . . . Three . . . And then his arms locked around my torso.
Even though protective gear covered the majority of his body, the bones of his forearms pressed into my ribs as he pinned my arms against my sides. I struggled for each breath. I knew it wasn’t real. I wasn’t actually in danger. The grandma didn’t get hurt. But yet, I froze. And the room became silent. The women in front of me still yelled and clapped, but I could no longer hear them. The padded assailant lifted me from the mat, the glare of the overhead lights temporarily blinded me, and I blanked. For the life of me, I could not think fast enough to figure out what I was supposed to do.
As the attacker threw me, everything moved in slow motion. I caught a glimpse of Jackson with his fist balled. I focused on him and remembered what he and Keith had taught us. First step, I went limp and let go of my fear. Jackson’s handlebar mustache twitched, and I smashed onto the mat. With determination, I took a deep breath. Second step, I recalled an escape technique. I concentrated my power and shoved the heel of my hand into the attacker’s chin as he hovered over me. Pain shot from my wrist to my shoulder. I winced and licked my lips, tasting salt from the perspiration that plastered my skin.
Then, the events snapped into full speed and I refocused. The hit to his chin had thrown him off balance. I spun on my side and swept my leg against his feet, knocking him to the mat. Then, without delay, I kicked the ball of my foot into his neck. He rolled to his back, and I used my lower body strength to wham the heel of my foot into his chest.
Energy surged through me, and I jumped up, ready to kick him again and again, but before I could unleash more fury, the women surrounded me and screamed my name. I’d almost forgotten I wasn’t alone. I threw my arms in the air and yelled with them, but it ended too suddenly, and I wasn’t sure what to do with the pent-up adrenaline that still pumped through my body.
Mom found me through the throng and wrapped her arms around me. “I’m so proud of you,” she yelled. My hands shook, and my stomach clenched, but I also felt empowered. Like I could beat anyone. Do anything.
Before Mom and I walked back to the edge of the mat, the padded attacker said, “Good job, Thea.”
Across the circle, Jackson gave me a thumbs-up and mouthed, “Way to go!”
I smiled, and my face dripped with sweat.
■
To celebrate, Mom and I went out with the majority of the class, and the two instructors, to a local coffee house. With Italian sodas and scones in hand, we mingled and chatted about our victories.
The adrenaline had emptied from my system. I yawned, tapped Mom on the shoulder, and pointed up to the wall.“Is that clock broken? Or is it really that late?”
Before she answered, Keith and Jackson stepped over.“Fantastic job tonight, Thea!” Jackson squeezed my shoulder. “I’m impressed with how far you’ve come.”
“I agree,” Mom said and looped her arm through mine. “You did great!”
“Together, you two will be a hard team to crack,” Keith said. He stuck his chin out in his usual way and the muscles in his jawline tightened.
“That’s right,” Jackson said. “Be sure to say hello whenever you’re at the rec center.” We agreed to do that, and both instructors walked away to join another cluster of people.
“Let’s head home,” Mom said.
“Yes, please.”
I could hardly wait to get online and tell Kit about the evening. Problem was, by the time I dragged myself into my room, I wanted to sleep. I kicked off my shoes and climbed into bed without even changing my clothes.
■
After a late Sunday brunch and quick shower, I logged into Skadi. Kit was already online. He opened a private chat box and typed hello to me.
ImmortalSlayer: Hey!
Kitsuneshin: I waited online for u last night. How was your final class?
ImmortalSlayer: Omigosh!
Kitsuneshin: I waited for hours.
ImmortalSlayer: Sorry. I was exhausted last night and crashed!
Kitsuneshin: If you’d let us text we wouldn’t have to wait until you got home.
ImmortalSlayer: I know. I am sorry! Do u still want to hear about the class?
Kitsuneshin: Yes. How’d it go?
ImmortalSlayer: Scary . . . I thought I was going to fail. But I didn’t!
Kitsuneshin: I couldn’t imagine u failing at anything! UR so amazing!
Kitsuneshin: Should I take you out to dinner tonight to celebrate?
ImmortalSlayer: If there are candles! *smiles*
Kitsuneshin: Candlelight, soft music, and holding hands across the table . . .
ImmortalSlayer: Sounds perfect! ☺
Kitsu
neshin: Agreed. *calling restaurant for reservations*
ImmortalSlayer: LOL . . . if only!
Kitsuneshin: We can fantasize . . . right?
ImmortalSlayer: Absolutely.
Kitsuneshin: Did you get hurt last night?
ImmortalSlayer: A few bruises, but I’m ok
Kitsuneshin: RU sure? *wraps arms around you*
ImmortalSlayer: Ah! You’re so sweet!
ImmortalSlayer: But I’m ok. And still kinda pumped from the excitement.
Kitsuneshin: I couldn’t think of anything but u last night.
ImmortalSlayer: ☺ Thanks!
Kitsuneshin: I wish u could know who I really am.
ImmortalSlayer: Why? Who RU really?
Kitsuneshin: I just mean . . . sometimes I feel like the distance between us makes us strangers.
ImmortalSlayer: But we’re not strangers. We’ve connected and gotten to know each other thru our conversations.
Kitsuneshin: I’m still skeptical. But I want to be with you; our love is unconventional.
ImmortalSlayer: Uh. Oh. I guess we need to watch the Broken video again on YouTube! LOL.
ImmortalSlayer: *slugs shoulder* Shake it off! We’re good! ☺
ImmortalSlayer: —brb—mom coming
Mom sang off-tune and moved down the hall. I closed the chat box and moved away from the computer. She entered without knocking.
“Are you playing Skadi already?”
“Yes.” I figured the truth was easiest for now.
“I’d rather you do something else.”
“Mom . . . please?” I needed to spend time with Kit.
She pulled a chair over and sat next to me. “Why is this so important to you?”
“It just is.”
“I need more than that.”
“It’s fun. I’ve made new friends. Janie and I like to play it together.”
“What about this Kit character?”
“He’s a nice guy.”
“You can’t know that,” Mom said. “He could be up to no good—”
“Why would a bad guy waste his time playing a kid’s game?”
“Because that’s where the kids are,” Mom said. “It’s a sure bet he’d invest time there.”