by Margo Kelly
Kit was online. Finally. I touched his name that appeared on the monitor, and my heart filled with hope.
CHAPTER 14
My life had been restored to me, like I’d finished a long hike through the desert and had earned a reward of vanilla ice cream and fresh brownies, except this was better. I opened a private chat with Kit and typed.
ImmortalSlayer: hello.
No response.
I waited for an eternity.
ImmortalSlayer: hello?
Kit’s name disappeared from the list. What just happened? I exited out of Skadi and logged in again, hoping it was a game glitch. Still no Kit.
I grabbed my cell and powered it on. I sent him a message and asked him to call or text. I tried to play Skadi for a few minutes, but it wasn’t any fun without Kit or Janie. I logged off and checked my phone for messages. Nothing. I grabbed the pages from the printer, climbed into bed, and read the stories about kitsune-shin.
“I assumed you’d be playing Skadi,” Dad said at my door.
“No.”
“Why not? You were dying to have your computer back and now you’re not using it?” What could I say? Nothing. So I shrugged. “Well, we’re in the family room if you want to join us.” He left. I figured Mom had sent him to check on me.
Before going to bed that night, I checked Skadi again. Kit still wasn’t on, and he hadn’t replied to my text. I went to sleep with my cell next to me. I had set it to vibrate mode, but I’d be able to feel it if Derek sent a text. He didn’t.
■
During the night, I had a dream about a rollercoaster. I stuck my hands in the air and screamed when the car plummeted down the rails. I caught my breath during the boring part of the ride when the cars chugged and vibrated up the steep tracks. But something seemed wrong with the coaster. It crested the top and lingered on the precipice, about to rocket down the other side, and that’s when I saw there were no more rails. The cars flew off and plummeted toward the earth. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t scream. I needed someone to save me before I hit the ground. The car trembled beneath me, but the shaking was out of place, and everything became foggy in the dream. I never hit the ground. I woke up instead. My phone was vibrating, and I was sweating.
I grabbed the phone and pushed the Talk button but too late. The missed call log showed Derek’s number. I listened for a phone message. Nothing. A text buzzed through.
I am on Skadi right now.—Derek
I hopped out of bed and started my computer. While I waited, I texted Derek back.
I was worried. U didnt reply last night. RU ok?—Thea
I logged onto Skadi as fast as I could. There was his name: Kitsuneshin. I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding. Kit opened a private chat box with me.
Kitsuneshin: Hi
ImmortalSlayer: Hi.
ImmortalSlayer: RU ok?
Kitsuneshin: Ya
ImmortalSlayer: Why didn’t you answer me last night?
Kitsuneshin: Not feeling well.
ImmortalSlayer: RU sick?
Kitsuneshin: No
ImmortalSlayer: What?
ImmortalSlayer: Tell me.
Kitsuneshin: Just got home from hospital
ImmortalSlayer: What?!
Kitsuneshin: I saw u online last night but I couldn’t talk yet.
ImmortalSlayer: What RU saying?
ImmortalSlayer: Why were you in the hospital? Why couldn’t you talk to me last night?
Kitsuneshin: My dad took me to ER to get my stomach pumped.
ImmortalSlayer: What for?
Kitsuneshin: I took a bunch of pills with a lot of wine—they had to pump it out of my stomach.
ImmortalSlayer: You told me you would never do that again!
ImmortalSlayer: Why would u?
Kitsuneshin: I can’t live without you.
Kitsuneshin: I realized your parents were never going to let you talk to me again and I couldn’t bear to be alone.
I leaned back in my chair. What if he killed himself because of me? My cheeks burned with anger, and my jaw tightened. I heard footsteps in the hall. I typed:
ImmortalSlayer: brb
I closed the private chat box and jumped up to open my door just as Mom began to knock.
“Hi,” I said.
“Good morning.” Mom peered over my shoulder. “Are you using the computer with your door closed?”
“I barely turned it on. I’m trying to follow your rules.”
“Keep the door open.”
I agreed, and she left. I angled my monitor away from the door, and I reopened the private chat box.
ImmortalSlayer: Sorry. Parents are enforcing rules. I don’t want to lose computer and cell again.
Kitsuneshin: See? That’s what I mean. Your parents are going to do everything they can to keep us apart. I can’t live without u Thea. I love you too much.
ImmortalSlayer: You can live without me, but u don’t have to. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.
Kitsuneshin: Do you still love me?
ImmortalSlayer: How can you ask that? Of course I do. But, I’d be very mad if u hurt yourself. You have to promise never to try that again. I can’t handle that stress. Please promise.
Kitsuneshin: I’ll promise if you promise to never leave me again.
ImmortalSlayer: I didn’t leave you. I had Janie send you messages on Skadi every week.
Kitsuneshin: She sent me one right after you lost your computer. I wanted so badly to talk to you, but I thought you were ignoring me.
ImmortalSlayer: RU saying she sent you only one message in the entire four weeks?
Kitsuneshin: Yes
ImmortalSlayer: That’s not what she told me.
Kitsuneshin: And she was never on Skadi for me to ask her if you were ok.
ImmortalSlayer: She said she sent u msgs & you two talked on Skadi.
Kitsuneshin: Did you see her send the messages?
ImmortalSlayer: No, but I can’t believe she’d lie to me.
Kitsuneshin: She was trying in her own way to protect you. Don’t blame her. Don’t even tell her you know. You can’t always trust people. They lie. My dad lies to me all the time. I hate it. I feel like UR the only one who tells me the truth. The only one I can trust. I hope u know u can trust me, no matter what. I love you.
ImmortalSlayer: I love you too. I know I can trust you. I am mad to think Janie lied to me.
Kitsuneshin: Don’t be mad. Forget it, and let’s just focus on us for a while.
ImmortalSlayer: Ok. I’ve missed u.
Kitsuneshin: Me too. Please never let us go this long without talking again. I can’t take it.
ImmortalSlayer: I promise if you promise to never hurt yourself again.
Kitsuneshin: I promise. I wish we could touch. I need to be near you. Hold you
ImmortalSlayer: We could talk on the phone and at least hear each other’s voices.
ImmortalSlayer: But I’m still worried my parents will catch me
Kitsuneshin: What can you do?
ImmortalSlayer: I’ll just tell them I’m going for a walk.
Kitsuneshin: Do it! I can hardly wait to hear your voice. Love U!!
ImmortalSlayer: Love u too. Talk to u soon.
I logged off Skadi and drummed my fingers against my desk. First things first. I had to pick out an outfit, and then I had to take a cute new picture to send him. I rummaged through the clothes hanging in my closet and chose a bright pink top. I ran to the bathroom and took a super fast shower, but before I could finish, Seth yelled and pounded on the bathroom door. At least this door had a lock on it.
“Just a minute,” I hollered back at him.
“Hurry up. Other people need to use the bathroom.”
I finished in the shower and decided to take my time fixing my hair, because I knew Seth was waiting impatiently. Oh well. While I ironed my hair straight, I contemplated the possibility of Janie lying to me. Why would she? But why would Derek lie? He wouldn’t hav
e attempted suicide if she had sent the messages. He must be telling the truth. Janie always wanted me to leave Derek and hook up with Tim. It made sense that she never sent the messages. Plus, she made up that crazy story about Derek killing Red. Seriously? How could a twenty-year-old guy even afford to fly clear to Hawaii and manage to kill someone with no witnesses? I was sure that Janie and Tim concocted the story to convince me to leave Derek. Once my hair hung perfectly, I snapped a couple of pictures with my cell phone.
Seth pounded again. I gathered my things and opened the door.
“What took so long?” he asked. “And why do you have your phone? Can’t you go five minutes without talking to Janie?”
“Shut up.” I moved past him, and once in my room, I texted Derek the newest picture of me and asked him to send me a new one of him. I knew he worried that I’d be disappointed with what I saw, but I wished he’d just send another picture. I loved him, no matter what he looked like. Derek didn’t reply right away.
I found my parents at the kitchen table reading the newspaper.
“I’m going for a walk.”
They both gawked at me.
“Okay,” Mom said, and they went back to the newspaper.
Once out of the house, I wrapped my fuzzy pink scarf around my collar twice like a turtle neck and zipped up my coat to protect me from the cold. I walked down the sidewalk, and after I rounded the corner of our block, I pulled off one glove to dial Derek’s number. I’d wanted this for so long, but I was still apprehensive. What if I said something stupid? I stared at the glowing numbers on the phone, knowing that when I tapped the Talk button, I’d connect with someone who loved me. I was sure he did. Finally I pressed it, wiggled my hand back into my glove, and held the phone up to my ear.
“Hello,” Derek said in a deep chesty tone.
“Hi.” I nearly choked. I was hearing Derek’s voice for the first time. It may have been thirty degrees outside, but sweat formed on my spine and butterflies danced throughout my body.
“I can’t believe we are speaking to each other.” He coughed and cleared his throat.
“Me neither.”
“What should we talk about?” he asked.
“I have no idea,” I said, proud that I strung more than two words together.
“Are you terribly cold?”
“Yes.”
“Well, at least you’ve got a great scarf to keep your neck warm.”
I stopped walking.
A shadow fell across a bush at the end of the street. I wanted to scan the area around me, but I couldn’t budge an inch. I thought I had been alone, but how could he have known about my scarf? I forced myself to ask.
“How’d you know I’m wearing a scarf?”
He coughed and cleared his throat. “You said it’s freezing out. I assumed you’d have a scarf. If you don’t, then I need to buy one and send it to you right away.”
“Oh.” I checked over my right shoulder and then my left. I whirled around and inspected the area behind me. No one. Why was I freaking myself out? Evidently, I’d watched too many creepy late night shows. I shook off the eerie sensation and relaxed.
“Are you going to freeze to death?” he asked.
“No,” I said and snickered.
“Why is that funny?” he asked.
“Because the weather here is frigid, but I’m so excited to talk to you, I’m sweating! Oh wait, that isn’t a flattering thing to say. Forget that. Oh sheesh. I’m making a terrible first impression.”
“You can’t make a terrible first impression when I’m already in love with you.”
“Really?” How did I ever get so lucky? I could barely contain my bubbling delight.
“Of course, Thea. There’s nothing you could do that would ever disappoint me.”
“You’re so sweet to me.”
“I don’t ever want to lose you. I’ll fight hard to keep you in my life.”
“Don’t worry. You’ll never lose me.”
I wanted to ask him about Red, but couldn’t muster the courage. Plus, he just got out of the hospital, and I didn’t want to upset him. So, we spoke about day-to-day things instead. I moved like a lazy dog around the neighborhood. I kicked rocks and twirled my scarf while we talked. Thirty minutes passed, but it seemed like five. Before we ended our conversation, we agreed to meet on Skadi in an hour.
I tucked my scarf back into my coat collar and hurried home.
I finally had what I always wanted. Someone who understood me, confided in me, and loved me. I was complete with him.
CHAPTER 15
Monday morning arrived, and that meant back to school for me. This had been the best Thanksgiving break ever, but this was going to be the worst Monday ever. Janie had phoned several times over the weekend, but I refused her calls. Even when Mom brought me the house phone, I shook my head. Mom apologized to Janie and said I wasn’t able to take the call.
The rest of the weekend had flown by in a whirlwind. Derek and I chatted via Skadi and texts. We didn’t have an opportunity for a long personal conversation again, because my parents constantly checked in on me. However, after they went to bed, I texted Derek, and he phoned. Both calls Saturday night and Sunday night only lasted a minute or two—he simply wanted my voice to be the last thing he heard before he went to sleep.
Even though Monday morning came too fast, I was up before my alarm went off and got ready faster than ever. I wanted to be gone before Janie arrived. In the kitchen, Mom cleaned up after Dad’s breakfast, while he grabbed his things and rushed out the door, as usual. My parents never changed.
The kitchen smelled of orange juice and scorched eggs. Mom had a habit of cooking the scrambled eggs too long. I’d take mine runny over scorched any day. Seth hunched over the edge of the counter reading the comics and finishing off a bowl of Frosted Flakes while Mom continued to wipe the spotless granite counter.
“Hey, Mom,” I started.
“Hey, baby-girl. You’re up early.”
“Yeah, I was hoping you could drive me to school.”
She stopped wiping. “Why?”
“I left a project at school that’s due today. I meant to bring it home, but forgot.”
“I can take you,” Seth said. “I’m leaving in two minutes.”
Mom and I stared at him in disbelief. “Really?” we asked simultaneously.
“Sure. Marcus and I have to be there early to work on a project for our government class. So, it’s no problem, but don’t make it a habit.” Seth shoved another spoonful into his mouth. Clearly, he was possessed.
“What about Janie?” Mom asked.
“I’ll send her a text and let her know I’m going in early.”
“Are things all right between the two of you?”
“Yeah, we’re fine. I wasn’t in the mood to talk on the phone, and you know, once Janie gets going, it can be a long conversation.” I hoped she believed both stories.
Seth and I left a couple of minutes later. We stopped in front of Marcus’s house and Seth honked. Marcus came bounding out but halted midstep when he noticed me sitting in the front seat. He raised his eyebrows, and then he grabbed the handle of the back door and climbed in.
“Hey, Thea,” he said in an usually high sing-song voice.
“Hey.” I grinned at him.
“Still playing Skadi?” Marcus asked.
I twisted around and narrowed my eyes at him. “A little,” I said. “Why? Are you still playing it?” Maybe he had a new username.
“She’s on there all the time,” Seth interrupted.
“Am not.”
“Yes.”
“Shut up.”
“You want to get out and walk?” Seth jerked his thumb toward the road, and I shook my head. So much for my brother being nice to me for once. I rode the rest of the way without speaking. Marcus and Seth didn’t say much either. Seth blasted the radio, and we all ignored each other.
Few people, mostly teachers, were at school so early. I went to the cafeteri
a, grabbed a free breakfast, and parked myself. The lights hummed overhead. The space appeared much brighter than normal, as though everything had been deep cleaned while we were gone. From where I sat, I could hear the kitchen staff working behind the counter. I never really noticed them before, because the cafeteria usually buzzed and jumped with hundreds of people coming and going, eating and talking, laughing and yelling.
I phoned Derek.
“Hello,” he said and coughed twice. My stomach tingled at the sound of his raspy voice. “Sorry, my throat is still sore from having the tube shoved down it last week.”
“Every time you mention that, I want to hit you and hold you at the same time.”
“Why?”
“I want to hit you because I can’t handle the stress of you dying . . .” Especially if it’s because you weren’t able to get ahold of me, and because attempting suicide is one of the most selfish things a person can do. But, of course, I couldn’t tell him all of that. Instead I said, “I want to hold you to show you how much I love you.”
“That would be nice,” he said. “I’d like to wrap my arms around you and feel the warmth of your body next to mine. I’d never let go.” The image lingered in my mind until he spoke again. “What are your plans for the day?”
“Only boring school. How about you?”
“Only boring work.” He chuckled and coughed again. I told him how I’d avoided Janie and the bus stop, but I wouldn’t be able to dodge her much longer, because we had second period together.
I had intended to leave the cafeteria for my first class before any of the buses arrived, but I had gotten so caught up in the conversation—and the rhythmic sound of Derek’s voice—I’d lost track of time. Suddenly, Janie was hovering to my left.
“What is wrong with you?” she asked.
I spoke into the phone to Derek, “I’ve got to go.”
“Good luck,” he said. He must’ve heard Janie’s voice in the background. I put my phone away and rotated in my seat to face her.
“The only thing wrong with me is a lying friend named Janie.”
“I never lied to you.” She plopped down next to me, and I had to scoot over so she wouldn’t be in my bubble. Most people gained weight over the Thanksgiving holiday, but Janie seemed to have lost weight. Her cheeks sagged in and her jaw protruded out. I wondered how she could change so much in just a couple of days.