His words made sense . . . if she survived. But what if . . . He didn’t want to finish the thought, but he was also afraid to leave the surgical waiting room. As though reading the reason for his hesitation, Henry added, “The nurses have my pager number. If the doctor needs to find you, they’ll call me.”
Reluctantly, Ben nodded and let Henry lead him downstairs. He went through the motions of putting some kind of sustenance into his body, and three hours later, he was wearing a path in the carpet in the nearly empty waiting room. Surgery wasn’t usually scheduled for the holiday, so other than an emergency appendectomy, the operating rooms had remained quiet today.
The parents of the nine-year-old appendicitis patient left an hour after Ben and Henry returned from the cafeteria. Henry had settled back with a magazine, aware that trying to calm Ben down was a useless venture.
When he heard a door open, Ben whipped around, surprised to see not the doctor but his parents and Kari rushing through the door.
“Any word yet?” Steve asked.
Overwhelmed by their unexpected presence, Ben took a moment to find his voice. After he hugged his sister and mother, he answered his father. “The doctor said the surgery would take at least three hours but that it could take twice that.”
“How long has it been?”
“A little over four.” Henry answered for him, standing up to stretch his legs.
“This is Henry. He’s been a really good friend to Maya and me.” Ben introduced Henry to his family, and at his mother’s insistence, they all sat in a corner of the waiting room.
Ben only lasted ten minutes before he was up and prowling the room again. At some point, one of Henry’s friends brought sandwiches for everyone, but Ben could eat only a few bites. The nervous energy building up in him was exhausting. He needed to do something, and he needed answers.
The thought had barely crossed his mind when the door opened and the doctor walked in.
Ben hurried across the room, desperate to know Maya’s fate. “Well?”
Dr. Schuster dragged a hand over his face and let out a relieved sigh. “It’s a miracle; she’s alive.”
Chapter 40
Maya kept her eyes closed and listened to the squeaking sound of footsteps on the hallway floor, the low hum of hospital equipment, and the constant murmur of voices. The scent of someone’s overly floral perfume almost hid the underlying scents common to the hospital she had come to know so well.
Her mind was a haze of confusion, and she felt herself drift in and out of sleep. Once, she vaguely remembered someone trying to wake her up, but she couldn’t quite bring herself out of the fog.
She knew she was in the hospital, but her thoughts were too scattered for her to piece together how she got here. She felt a hand holding hers and knew instantly it was Ben’s. His thumb rubbed back and forth over the back of her hand as though he couldn’t quite manage to stay still.
She tried to move and felt resistance when she tried to turn her head. Some bandage pressed against her forehead, but she didn’t have the clarity of thought to question why.
Slowly, her mind started to pull together the events that had brought her here. Thoughts drifted through her mind as she faded in and out of consciousness, the steady grip of Ben’s hand constant on hers. Even through her drug-induced haze, she found comfort in the solidity of the gesture. Her dreams mingled with reality, and she found herself hoping this warm, steady, loving feeling could last forever.
A door opened, and she heard her doctor’s voice. “How’s our patient?”
The sound of Dr. Schuster’s voice sent her nerves scrambling. If he was here on New Year’s Eve, her condition must be serious.
“I don’t know. She still hasn’t woken up,” Ben answered, his voice low.
“Let’s take a closer look,” Dr. Schuster’s footsteps sounded as he crossed the hard floor. “Maya? Can you open your eyes for me?”
She heard the request, but she hesitated, knowing that if she opened her eyes to the terrifying nothingness in front of her, terror would take over. She wanted to pretend everything was normal, that she could find a happily ever after with Ben. He had already said he loved her. If that was true, maybe she could find another miracle in her life. Or more specifically, she could have a life.
When she didn’t comply right away, Ben squeezed her hand. “Maya? Are you awake?” She stirred slightly, but still, she couldn’t get past her fears and open her eyes. “Come on, honey. Open your eyes. Let the doctor help you.”
The steady tone of Ben’s voice did what all of her internal assurances couldn’t. It gave her hope.
Slowly, she forced her eyelids open, narrowing her eyes against the bright lights overhead. Lights! Her heartbeat quickened, new hope surging through her. Squinting, she tried to look around the room but again felt resistance. The tall shadow at the side of her bed slowly took shape until she recognized it was her husband.
The doctor’s calm voice continued. “What can you see?”
“Ben. I see Ben.” Her words came out in a hoarse whisper and sounded distant even to her. She summoned her strength and tried to continue, but still, her words were spoken softly. “Everything’s a little foggy . . .”
“That’s to be expected. It’ll take a few minutes to focus.”
“What happened?” she managed to ask, Ben’s hand gripping hers.
“You’re going to be okay,” Dr. Schuster assured her.
“Okay?” Maya repeated, confused. Again, she tried to turn her head but found she couldn’t.
“Don’t try to move. You’ve already had your surgery. The tumor is gone.”
“Gone?” She wanted to ask more, but she felt herself fading. Her eyelids suddenly heavy, she felt them droop closed, and she slid back under.
* * *
Ben sat by her side and rubbed a hand over the stiffness in his neck. The doctor’s words echoed through his mind repeatedly. Maya truly was a miracle. According to the surgeon, had the tumor been a fraction larger, Maya wouldn’t have survived. A little more to the left and her spinal cord would have been damaged, most certainly causing paralysis. As it was, the doctors were confident that the entire tumor had been removed, and they believed she would recover completely.
Despite the doctors’ optimism, Ben couldn’t bring himself to leave Maya’s side. Through the first few hours after Maya had woken up, he had been overwhelmed with gratitude. Everything he had wished for had come true.
That thought had comforted him during those first long hours by her side, but then, late that night, doubts had started creeping into his mind. Not his doubts about Maya’s recovery but about her heart. The scene in the hotel circled through his mind, and one thought continued to surface: Maya hadn’t said she loved him.
He had recognized that fact at the time, but so quickly after he had confessed his feelings, her health had spiraled and become his priority. Now, sitting in the dark hospital room, his hand covering Maya’s, he let himself remember the moment when he had hoped to hear her respond, but no words had come.
Over and over again, he forced himself to remember, his uncertainty growing with each passing minute.
For the past two months, Maya’s whole focus had been on reaching this day—the day after her surgery. Now that she was here, what did she want to do with her tomorrows? They had broached the subject once when they were at his parents’ house for Christmas, but that conversation had been in general terms. Never once had he asked what she wanted.
She was his wife. There was no denying that, even if they hadn’t gotten married in a traditional sense. With the immigration investigation now behind them, she would be free to apply for her citizenship in a matter of months and wouldn’t need him in that regard. Nor was she tied any longer to Washington, DC.
His heart rose into his throat. What would he do if she wanted to leave? He couldn’t hold her here. If he tried to persuade her to stay, he’d be no better than Rishi, but the thought of her walking away from him left a h
ollowness that engulfed his whole being.
By the time the first fingers of sunlight streamed into the room, Ben knew what he had to do. He would help nurse her back to health, make sure she was able to gain her citizenship, and pay off her debts. Then he would give her the freedom to choose—to stay or go.
Ben was still struggling with his decision when Maya finally stirred an hour later. Her leg moved under the blanket, giving Ben a reassurance that Maya had truly avoided paralysis. When she tried to roll over and found she couldn’t, Ben stood and spoke in a soothing voice. “Hey, take it easy.”
Maya’s eyes opened fully now and seemed to take a moment to focus. Ben could tell when she did because her lips curved into a lazy smile. “Hi.”
“Hi, yourself.” He stood so he could see her more clearly. “How are you feeling?”
“Don’t know. Feel loopy.”
“Dr. Schuster gave you some pretty heavy-duty pain killers after your surgery.”
Her eyes narrowed, and her voice was questioning. “Surgery?”
“That’s right.” Ben’s voice gentled instinctively. “It’s the day after, Maya. You made it.”
“I don’t understand.”
Ben explained the sequence of events after she’d lost consciousness—her arrival at the hospital, the decision to proceed with her surgery, and the doctor’s assurances that everything had gone perfectly.
She took several minutes to absorb his words and then managed to ask, “It’s really over?”
With a shadow of regret, he nodded. “It’s really over.”
He fought the urge to ask her what she wanted next, trying to keep his promise to himself to let her recover before pushing her to tell him her feelings.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong,” Ben insisted. “I told you. The doctors said you’re going to be fine.”
“No. What’s wrong with you?” Her eyes met his and held. When he didn’t immediately respond, she added, “Just tell me.”
He drew a deep breath, let it out, and broke the promise to himself. “I’m just wondering, now that you have your life back, what are you going to do with it?”
“What do you mean?”
“You have a future now. I’m asking you how you want to spend it.”
He sensed her apprehension and saw the way she seemed to draw up her courage. “I want to spend it with you.”
“What?” Ben asked, afraid he hadn’t heard her right, praying that he had.
“There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time.” She shifted her hand in his, linking their fingers. “I love you, Ben.”
“What?” Ben repeated, wanting to hear her say the words again, needing to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.
Her eyes stayed on his, unwavering. “I love you.”
Joy leapt in his heart as shock melted into wonder. Theirs might not have been the most traditional relationship, but seeing the blank pages in front of them, the future they could carve out together any way they chose, he knew he wouldn’t want it any other way. He leaned over her bed, gently pressing his lips to hers.
The kiss was sweet and simple, but his stomach jumped with a sense of need and anticipation unlike anything he’d ever experienced. He drew the kiss out, finding unspeakable joy in knowing Maya could be his forever. When he forced himself to draw back, she offered him a timid smile.
Finding new confidence, he reached into his pocket and drew out the wad of tissue he had wrapped around her rings. Slowly, he unwrapped them and held them out for her to see. “Maya, I love you so much. Will you stay married to me?”
She offered him a watery smile, lifting her hand so he could slip the rings into place. “I thought you’d never ask.”
About the Author
Originally from Arizona, Traci Hunter Abramson has spent most of her adult life in Virginia. She is a graduate of Brigham Young University and a former employee of the Central Intelligence Agency. She enjoys writing what she knows and considers it a bonus when her research includes travel and attending sporting events.
Since leaving the CIA, Traci has written numerous novels, including the Undercurrents trilogy, the Saint Squad series, the Royal series, Obsession, Deep Cover, and Code Word, a Whitney Award–winner.
When she’s not writing, Traci enjoys spending time with her family and coaching the local high school swim teams.
Other Books by Traci Hunter Abramson
Undercurrents
Ripple Effect
The Deep End
Freefall
Lockdown
Crossfire
Backlash
Smoke Screen
Code Word
Lock & Key
Obsession
Royal Target
Royal Secrets
Deep Cover
Chances Are Page 26