"So do you believe me now?"
"No,” I said stubbornly, dragging myself up to a seated position. "I don't want to believe you."
"Desire doesn't alter reality, Cassie. Whether you want to believe me or not, this is real, so I suggest you cancel the pity party and we can move on to something productive."
"I'm not throwing a pity party." I glared at him.
"Aren't you?" he asked, standing up and reaching out a hand. “I’m hoping that there will at least be cake. A party isn’t really a party unless there’s cake.”
I ignored his hand and climbed to my feet by myself, brushing damp sand off my arms and legs and grimacing as it chafed my skin. Aleksander reached out and stilled my hands with his, pulling them down to my side as he gently wiped the sand from my skin, soothing rather than irritating it. I inhaled deeply, trying to suppress the tremble beginning in my limbs.
"So what happens next?" I asked grudgingly. I focused my gaze on the moons rising in the distance and refused to look at him. I wanted to be mad but the look in his eyes was quickly diffusing my anger. It wasn't his fault I was dreaming of this place again.
"Next we talk about what happened last night. It’s important to discuss what happened with your friends’ dreams and your negative reaction."
"What is there to talk about? You basically invaded my friends’ privacy and dragged me along for the ride. It was creepy and wrong and I want no part in it." Just thinking about watching their dreams made me feel dirty. I swung my eyes back his way, my brows knitting together in a frown.
He pulled a hand through his unruly hair and let out a frustrated sigh. "Cassie, it's not what you think. I tried to explain this to you last night but you didn't want to hear anything I had to say. If you’re ready to listen, perhaps I can explain why we watch the dreams. Maybe if you understood why, you would feel better about it and know that we mean no harm. We are there to protect mortals. There's no entertainment value in it."
He held his hand out to me. I ignored the shiver that ran through my body as my fingertips made contact with his. He let out a breath and closed his eyes for a moment, his face screwed up like he was concentrating on something. Opening them, he led me into the forest, never relinquishing my hand.
I wanted to pretend like I didn't enjoy the feel of his hand around mine, but it was difficult to ignore the butterflies dancing in my stomach at his touch. His hand was warm, and the firm pressure was comforting. He wasn't the reason for my frustration, and it was time I stopped punishing him for it and gave him the chance to earn my anger instead of giving it to him for free.
I took a deep breath and forced the irritation out, following quietly behind him through the trees until we broke through the greenery surrounding the Pool of Dreams. He walked directly to the large boulder hanging low over the water and tugged my hand, pulling me up onto the smooth stone surface alongside him. The water, still as glass below us, lit from within and continued its constant projection of dreams. It was a beautiful light show that mesmerized me, and I longed to look into its depths again.
I stretched out on my stomach on the rock and peered over its edge, telling myself I didn't notice the warmth of him as his body stretched next to mine on the narrow stone, that I wasn’t aware of his eyes on me. Instead, I forced my eyes on the water below, caught in the images dancing on the surface.
"What did you mean when you said you protected the mortals?" I asked after a few moments, curiously watching the scenes in front of me.
As wrong as it felt to watch my friends, I didn't feel the same hesitation about watching other people. I should have felt embarrassed, but I wasn't. I was a hypocrite, and I wished it would bother me more than it did. Instead I felt detached and curious as the images danced before me. Aleksander had said that the dreams didn't hold any entertainment value for him, but I couldn't claim the same. I was too curious.
"We watch their souls while they wander. Being outside their bodies makes them vulnerable, and it’s our task to safeguard them while they journey through the Dreaming," he explained soothingly, so close that I could feel his breath tickling my ear.
I closed my eyes, ignoring the warmth flooding through my stomach, and forced my focus back on his words. "So you said yesterday that people can misuse the Dreaming. Is that what we're watching for?"
"Among other things. Consider a nightmare. They can be terrifying, overwhelming even, for the dreamer. The harder you try to run, the slower you move. It’s a vortex of fear that humans create and then find they can't escape from. This is one of the things we watch for. If a soul is too consumed in their fear, they may never return to their body and fail to awaken. Worse still are those who struggle so strongly against the constraints they create that, when they do free enough to run, they run in the wrong direction and sever their mortal tether."
I felt the blood drain from my face. Sever their tether?
"What happens then?" I asked, not wanting to hear the answer.
"They die,” he said sadly. "It doesn't happen often. The mortal tether is strong, but the older the body becomes, the weaker that link is. The mortal simply dies in their sleep, so terrified of their dreams that they lose themselves in the fright."
I stared at him, horror flooding my thoughts and bile climbing my throat. A hazy half memory of dark, empty eyes, ice-cold hands, and mocking laughter caught me for a moment, sending a tremor of fear through my body. Sometimes my dreams were so dark I was convinced I was going to die. It was scary to realize that the danger had been real after all and worse to think that I had done it to myself, creating the perfect storm of fear all on my own.
Aleksander's eyes were sympathetic and full of compassion as he stretched his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. I lay in the circle of his arms, resting my forehead against his chest. I refused to think about the paralyzing cold of my nightmares and forced my thoughts instead to how pleasant he smelled, like musk and amber, or the warmth of his chest against my cheek. I listened to his heart beating and let the rhythm calm me. My anxiety eased, replaced by a sense of wholeness and peace that had not existed the moment before.
“I’m sorry, Cassie. I didn’t mean to upset you. I find myself doing that more often than I would like," he said thickly.
Part of me wanted to stay there in his arms, feeling safe from my own fears. I was so good at avoiding things that upset me, and I wanted to do just that—bury my face in his chest and pretend that I wasn't as scared as I was—but that wasn't why I was here. That wasn't why he was showing these things to me. I couldn’t always hide myself away from things that scared me.
"No. No worries," I said as I untangled myself from his arms. "It's not you. It caught me off guard.” I rolled back to my place on the stone, wiping my eyes surreptitiously and willing myself to stop being such a needy coward.
"Fae are empathetic creatures, Cassie," he said soothingly. "It is only natural that you feel sorrow for such a loss. It’s why we were entrusted with the duty of watching over the souls in the first place."
I flicked my gaze back up to meet his, oddly comforted by the sympathy I found there. I felt some of the pressure in my chest slacken and nodded, feeling less alone in my sorrow.
"Isn't there anything we can do for them?" I asked. The thought of helplessly standing by while others were slowly suffocating themselves in their fears was repulsive.
"Yes there is," he explained, appearing pleased with my desire to help. "When we see nightmares like this occurring, we can intervene. We can shock the mortals back into their bodies or use the Dreaming to alter their nightmares so that we can nudge their souls back to their bodies."
He gestured toward the Pool, and I watched as it flashed and the color shifted, bringing with it a new dream and a new dreamer.
"Can you show me?" I wanted to help the dreamers, wanted to spare them their darkest moments. I didn’t want anyone to feel the paralyzing fear that had been my dreams lately.
"Better than that, Cassie," he responded, his
lips turning up into a smile. "Nightmares aren’t as common as you would think, and it can be dangerous even for a seasoned Fae, let alone a Síofra. I will teach you how to nudge the souls in pleasant dreams first."
He reached down toward the Pool, slowly putting his hand up to his forearm into the still water. The water did not ripple or shift at all where his hand disturbed it. It accepted it, swallowing his arm.
Aleksander focused his eyes on the still liquid, and I could see a small ball of light forming in his hand under the surface. He closed his eyes and his face contorted with concentration. As he did, the ball of light in his hand grew brighter and larger. He grunted with the effort, and the light flared brightly, filling the entire Pool in a flash.
The ball of light faded and nothing was left of the dream's image. He slowly withdrew his hand, his arm still dry.
"What happened?" I asked excitedly. "What was that light?" I had seen that it before, luminous and bright and shocking. I struggled to recall where I remembered it from, but the image danced at the edges of my memory, teasing me.
"That light," he smiled as he rolled onto his side and looked at me, “was a manifestation of love. When you learn to control your power, you can draw on it to create. When the light grows too bright, it surrounds the dreamer and startles them, pushing their soul back toward their body. It can be draining, but it’s worth it to keep the souls safe from themselves."
I watched the water shift and show me a girl who looked near my age. Her dark hair reminded me of Becca. In the image, she was dancing in a dance studio, her willowy frame turning and spinning in front of a wall of mirrors in a room full of sunlight. It was beautiful to watch.
"Show me how?" I asked, mesmerized with the dancing girl.
Aleksander rolled back and leaned into my side again, whispering instructions, his breath warm and pleasant as it tickled my face. "Put your hand into the water. It will resist. Ignore it and push through. The resistance is the barrier between Otherworld and the Dreaming. You must have your hand firmly in the Dreaming for it to work."
I leaned over the edge of the stone, reaching down and letting my fingertips skim over the smooth surface. It was warm to the touch and felt odd. Aleksander nodded in approval, and I took that as my cue to push through.
He was right. The surface resisted. It felt like one of my mom’s gelatin molds—neither a solid nor a liquid but somewhere in between. Pushing harder, I felt my hand free from the gelatinous water into nothingness. I was in.
"What next?"
"Okay, now this is the difficult part," he said, leaning closer and watching my hand. "You need to think of someone you love. It doesn’t matter who it is, but you need to do it now. A happy memory usually works best."
As the graceful dream dancer turned and spun, her glossy dark hair whipping out in a fan around her, I thought of Becca. She was my best friend, closer than my sister, and I would have died for her. I focused on those powerful feelings and felt my palm tingle with heat.
There in my palm rested a small ball of white light the size of a golf ball.
"You are doing well, Cassie," Aleksander encouraged. "Now, concentrate harder. Focus all your warm feelings, all of the love you have in your heart, on this little ball and help it grow. Feed it your love."
I thought of my parents, of my brother and sister, even Miguel. Those I loved the most. The ball of light grew slowly and then wavered, as if changing its mind and shrinking again.
"Concentrate, Cassie." He put his hand on my back and started rubbing a small methodical circle with his thumb.
It sent a surge of heat through me, settling low in my stomach. I turned to look at him and found his face so close to mine that our lips almost touched. My breathing hitched as I stared into his eyes, neither of us speaking. I ignored the heat growing in my hand and felt only the wild beating of my heart as I saw the longing in his eyes.
A growing glare in my peripheral vision distracted us both and Aleksander's head snapped back toward the water.
"Cassie, look!" he exclaimed, withdrawing his hand and pointing it at the water.
I turned and looked at the water, momentarily blinded by the white light that had filled the Pool. I jerked my hand back out of the water and the light dissipated at once, but there was no dream dancer. She was gone.
"You did it!" Aleksander cheered, pride filling his voice. "You learned how to nudge a soul. This is fantastic. In a nightmare situation, you not only have to contend with everything you did here, but with the nightmare world created by the dreamer. It’s not easy, but I will show you how when you’re ready."
A grin split my face wide open as we both sat up, and I pitched myself into him, throwing my arms around his neck and hugging him to me. Aleksander stiffened and then returned my embrace, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his chest, sending my heart fluttering.
"I can't believe I did it!" I said happily, feeling almost giddy in my excitement.
"You were made for this, Cassie," he said, his warm breath tickling my ear as he held me tighter.
His words resonated in me, and I felt a spark of pride unfurl in my chest. I untangled myself from his arms and grinned at him.
"So you think I'd be good at this?"
"I think you're going to make an amazing Fae," he replied, his eyes shining brightly with emotion. "This is your calling. I know it. Look at how easily you called that light to you. The fact that you can feel love so strongly speaks volumes about you, Cassie."
I would never tell him that the thoughts that had consumed my body and sent the good emotions into the ball of light that had rested in my palm had only come when I thought of him.
Chapter Eight
I was surprised to find myself alone on the beach for once. In the weeks that had passed since my birthday, Aleksander had always been there to greet me upon my arrival, but for once I had fallen asleep early. I sat down on a large rock and watched the sea for a while, willing myself not to be impatient and thinking of all the wonderful things I had learned since I had finally accepted that everything he had told me was true. I was a changeling.
It was strange to think that my soul was different than everyone around me, and except for those moments that I spent among the Fae instead of dreaming, it was easy to convince myself that it was a crazy break from reality probably brought on from the stress of being away from home for the first time in my life and trying to muddle my way through playing grown up when I didn’t feel like a grown up yet.
I soon grew bored waiting for him and decided instead to walk along the shore and try to catch a glimpse of the kelpies playing in the surf again.
The kelpies made their home in the depths of the sea, but Aleksander had shown me places along the cliffs where they liked to frolic on the beach, their beautiful horse-like bodies graceful and entrancing as they ran along the sands. He had warned me not to get too close, as they were capable of shifting forms and working their magic upon unsuspecting mortals as they made their way between the worlds. I wasn't exactly a mortal anymore, but I wasn't willing to find out how well their magic worked on semi sort-of mortals, so I followed a path up to the edge of the cliffs and settled in to watch them from a safe distance.
I wondered how exactly they managed to move between the worlds when the Fae couldn't. Perhaps there was a weak spot between the dimensions in the sea that Fae couldn't reach? Truthfully, I wasn't even sure how it was that I managed to pass through the barriers between the worlds when Aleksander couldn't.
The Kelpies were hypnotically beautiful creatures, and I pitied the unsuspecting mortal who fell under their spell, only to be dragged back here and forced to be their servants. They were amazing to behold, but it still astounded me that such graceful and beautiful creatures could mask such a terrible nature underneath.
A voice interrupted my thoughts, startling me. "Beautiful, aren't they?"
I turned and saw a handsome young man standing next to me and was unsettled that I hadn't heard him coming. He had
hair so blond and pale it appeared white in the moonlight and cheekbones that seemed to be carved from marble. He might have looked appealing except for his eyes. They were as green as mine, but there was something about the shape. It was as if they were too large for his face, too long and harsh. I had to tear my gaze away from them and felt horrible for staring.
"They are," I agreed. His full lips pulled into a welcoming smile. I climbed to my feet and offered the stranger my hand. "I’m Cassie."
He stared at my hand curiously but made no move to take it. I let it fall limply to my side, my face coloring in embarrassment.
"You may call me Niall," he replied politely. "If I may be so bold, what is a young Síofra such as yourself doing without a Caomhnóir at her side?" His strange eyes glittered with interest.
"I think I fell asleep early," I said sheepishly. "I waited for a while but he hasn't come yet, so I figured I would come watch the Kelpies while I waited." I chewed my lip and wondered if perhaps I should have waited longer. I promised myself that as soon as I could ditch the stranger I would head right back down to the beach and wait patiently for Aleksander.
"Hm," Niall said, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "And which of the Caomhnóir has been tasked with your keeping, young one?"
I bristled at his words, as if I were a wayward child running amok.
"Aleksander," I said.
"Ah, yes. I am acquainted with him," he replied, his eyes lighting up and a broad grin stretching across his face. "He was near the piskie nests when I saw him last. Has he taken you to see them yet?"
I shook my head. “I’ve never even heard of a piskie.”
"Ah, no matter," he chirped, discarding his earlier distaste and grabbing my hand, tugging me forward. His palms were cold like ice and I flinched at the contact, quickly pulling my hand from his grasp. "I'll show you the way. Piskies are wondrous creatures. All Síofra should learn about the them."
"That sounds great.” I didn't want to go anywhere with Niall. Something about his smile was unsettling, but if he knew where Aleksander was, it was best to play nice and find him.
The Changeling (Book One of The Síofra Chronicles) Page 6