by M. Piper
“Carter,” I whisper.
“I love it. He’s adorable.” She smiles softly and sets the phone down.
“So…” I rub the back of my neck and rest my lips on her leg. “You wanna meet him tomorrow?” I feel like my heart’s going to literally beat out of my chest as I wait for her answer. She’s reacting a lot less dramatically to this than I had envisioned. I pictured her being mad about keeping something this big from her, but she’s way more subdued. It’s like there’s still something coming but I’m not waiting around for it.
“I’d love to,” she whispers, her fingers tracing my jawline. God that word coming from her lips is beautiful. Can you love someone in a month? I mean I guess you can…my parents always say they knew right away. I look up at her and she brings her lips to mine. She shifts and lies back down next to me and I roll her to her back, pressing my lips to every part of her body that I can, showing her just how much I worship her body.
Jesus, she’s perfect.
He has a kid. He has a kid that I have to meet later today.
He has a kid that he didn’t expect while I was forced to give mine up for adoption.
How is this life fair?
So many feelings have been buzzing through me and as I sit here on the phone with my sister while Lincoln’s in the shower all I can do is worry things aren’t going to be getting better any time soon. I knew he was withholding something from me, I just couldn’t figure it out. I’m really starting to have major feelings for this guy…major ones. Now I’m the one holding all the cards and I have no clue what I’m going to do.
“Are you ever planning on telling him?” Lark asks after I just blurted that he’s a dad. I don’t want to give her the whole story…I figure that’s not mine to give. But the dad thing is pretty big.
“Yes,” I sigh. “I mean…I was going to. Then he dropped the bomb on me that he has a kid and I couldn’t exactly follow that up with ‘hey, I gave mine away.’” I roll my eyes at how ridiculous this is all becoming.
“Mom and Dad gave you no choice, Wren. It’s not like you threw a baby away, they practically stole him. It’s all their fault, you know.”
I sigh. “I wish I could’ve just met him, ya know?” I whisper. “I wish I had the balls back then to stand up to Mom and Dad,” I say, lowering my voice and getting worked up about nothing.
“Well, you didn’t. No use getting mad over the past,” She mumbles and I roll my eyes.
“You’re in a foul mood today.”
“Sorry. I just got notice that I have to be back in Springfield for jury duty next month. Not looking forward to seeing them.”
“Oh my God! I get to see you finally?!” I shriek then hear the water turn off.
“You do. And I’m crashing with you so be ready.”
I giggle and laugh, so giddy I finally get to see my sister again.
“I gotta go. I’ll call you tomorrow, ok?”
“I’ll be waiting for all the details!”
I end the call and slide my phone to the bed stand when he walks out of the shower, only in his boxers, and smirks.
“That’s a sight I’ll never get tired of,” I hum, sitting up straight in bed.
“I was hoping you’d join me.” He smirks and winks and I melt right there on my mattress.
“I wasn’t sure of the protocol for that,” I wince. “And I was on the phone with my sister. Sorry.”
“How is your sis? You two get along well?” He slides in bed next to me and I have to make a very strong effort not to flip him to his back and have him again. Last night we didn’t leave the bed until three am and that was only for snacks.
“We’re super close. I miss her like crazy.” I lean back on the headboard and he joins me.
“I bet. I’d go crazy without my siblings.” He wraps his arms around me and when his phone dings he groans, but reaches over to grab it. He opens the text in my view and laughs as soon as he sees the picture. “So they gave him cake.” He nods and laughs, moving the phone.
I can’t help but smile at the child covered in chocolate cake from head to toe on the screen. He looks a lot like Lincoln, there’s no doubt he’s his. The story is sad as hell, though. Who just drops their baby off and runs? Who could abandon their kid like that?
“He’s a pretty cool kid.” He says, putting his phone back. “They’re expecting us in a few hours. You ready for this?” He pushes his lips to my forehead and tightens his arms around me.
“I am, are you?” I twist my fingers in his and we sit there, staring at our hands twisting together.
“I’m mega worried, I’m not gonna lie, Wren.”
I furrow my brows and start to pull away but he grips my hand and sighs.
“That’s not what I mean and you know it. I just…I’ve never done this before. It’s been Carter and I for a while now. I’ve gone on dates, but nothing’s worked. You’re the first girl I’ve ever brought to meet…everyone.” He shrugs.
I take a breath and let out a puff of air.
“That’s big, Lincoln.” I feel like I should be more worried about this but there’s something comfortable and simple with him. I can only imagine his family is just as laid back as he is.
“What we have is big, Wren.” He kisses me then hops up from bed. “Come on. We gotta swing by my place on the way there so I can toss on another shirt. My brother’ll give me a hard time if I show up in the same shirt I left in yesterday,” he says, laughing.
“Wouldn’t want that,” I say. I smack his ass on my way to the shower and can’t help but grin the entire time.
This all feels too…easy.
“They’re here!” I hear a female yell from inside the house and I’m suddenly very nervous. Very, very nervous.
“Do I look ok?” I ask, panicked. I picked a long green summer dress and curled my side ponytail just perfectly. My makeup is subtle but not too light. I think I look fine but now I’m afraid I’ve overdone it.
“Hey,” Lincoln whispers, taking my hand in his. I turn my gaze from the mirror to him and a little stress melts off. He smiles a wide smile and the dimple I love so dearly comes out, forcing me to relax more. He brings his fingers to my chin and his face morphs more serious as his eyes trail my face then meet my eyes again. “You’re so perfect, Wren. And you don’t even know it,” he whispers. I let out an audible sigh and he leans across the cab and presses his lips to mine. “Let’s go eat some pie,” he mumbles on my lips and I laugh.
The house is a large, two story brick with a wraparound porch. A white swing and two bright orange rocking chairs sit out front as well as a dozen or so planters. The black front door is looming as the open windows give me a glimpse into what’s waiting for me inside. I halt my steps and take a breath.
“So I’m not entirely certain I can do this,” I whisper, his hand gentle on my back.
“You can. You’re a lot stronger than you think,” he whispers, giving my ass a small squeeze before heading up to swing the door open.
“Hey guys!” he yells, nodding for me to follow so my feet do. I wasn’t nervous. Now I’m terrified.
When his mom walks over to me and wraps her arms around me, though, all fear is lost. She’s just as warm and welcoming and comforting as he is.
“I’m so happy to finally meet you,” she whispers, giving me one more tight squeeze before letting go and smiling wide.
“Same, Mrs. West. I see where Lincoln gets his smile from,” I say. “Thank you for having me.”
“Oh my, I like her,” she says, nudging Lincoln and he laughs.
“Hands off, she’s mine.” He wraps his arms around me and all the nerves roll off me.
“She’s here!” I hear whom I’m assuming is his brother bellow and soon tiny footsteps rolling down the hallway take my attention away from his mom.
When Carter runs straight for Lincoln and Lincoln steps to grab him and swing him into his arms my heart swells. I literally can’t stop from the biggest smile spreading on my face as I watch them,
father and son. The laughter coming out of Carter right now melts my heart and makes me happy.
And jealous.
A jealousy that’s not necessarily bad, but I could have that. I could have that connection with someone.
Lincoln’s smile beams as he holds his son and when he turns to me I see the caution in his eyes.
“So, this is Carter,” he says, smiling. Carter looks over at me then goes back to playing with his dad’s face.
His dad. My Lincoln.
I smile. “Nice to meet you Carter.”
He turns and smiles at me then reaches over for me so I take him and he goes straight for my hair. I can’t help but laugh and the look on Lincoln’s face melts my heart.
“He likes you,” he says with awe in his voice.
“Why wouldn’t he like her? I mean, look at her!” Lincoln’s brother Ford boasts from behind me and I roll my eyes.
“Always know how to make a grand entrance.” I say to him.
“Ah, I forgot you two have met before,” Lincoln says, smiling. His eyes won’t leave Carter on my hip, though. And to be honest, it feels way too normal for me to be holding his baby I just met. Way too normal.
“Hey, the barbeque man needed to know how disappointed I was that they were out of beans.” Ford, the brother we met at The Shack, laughs. “But seriously, I’m glad my brother got his head out of his ass and asked you out. I was about to track you down and do it myself.”
“Easy there, killer,” Lincoln lowers his voice and glares at his brother.
I laugh and he leans in to give me a hug then snatches Carter from me.
“Come on little dude. I have sugar to feed you before Daddy brings you home tonight.”
He runs off with Carter laughing on his hip and Lincoln shakes his head.
“So that’s my brother,” he laughs and I nudge him.
“He’s nice.”
“He’s crazy, but he’s pretty awesome.” He grins. “So he’s living with me right now, too. By the way.”
“Ah,” I nod. “So what you’re saying is our quiet time is better spent at my place?”
He chuckles and leans down to my ear. “Absolutely,” he whispers, bringing chills to my skin.
I step away and he ushers me into the kitchen where the rest of his family is.
“Dad, this is—“
“Wren!” his dad boasts, walking over and wrapping me in a hug. Man, this family is hands-on. Nothing like my family. “I’m so happy Lincoln finally brought you around. You have to excuse my son for his manners. He should have done this a long time ago.” The look he gives Lincoln makes me smile. You can tell there’s no loss of love in this family and it makes it feel more like a regular family home as opposed to a bare emotionless house that my parents provided.
“I’m happy to be here. Thank you for having me,” I say, smiling.
“Come on, drinks are out back and I think my sister and her new boyfriend are out there. I haven’t had a chance to make fun of him yet.” Lincoln grabs my hand and ducks away when his mom swats at him and tries telling him to be nice.
I laugh and follow, taking a beer gladly when he hands me one.
We spend the entire day hanging out with his family. The feeling of being around family for this long and not being miserable is foreign to me. Usually when I’m at my parents’ house I can’t wait to get out. Being here, even though it’s not my family, I’m more comfortable and relaxed than I’ve ever felt at my house.
Watching Lincoln parent Carter does something to my heart and by the end of the day I finally have accepted how smitten I am with him. This whole situation feels perfect. It doesn’t feel forced or awkward…it never did.
I’m in the kitchen when his sister walks in. She’s been quiet all day but I think it’s more because Ford and Lincoln have been giving her boyfriend a hard time about his name and less because she’s unfriendly. Hopefully.
“We went to High school together.” I hear her walk in behind me as I’m refilling my water and spin.
“I thought you looked familiar,” I say, smiling. I’ve been trying to place it all day but it took her saying something to me about to it to click. She and I never were close and we never hung out. Our high school was big enough that I didn’t know everyone there. Being in the family I was in, my friendships were few and far between.
“I thought I remembered you. Same grade, right?”
“Yep,” she pops her P then glances out the window to where everyone it sitting around watching Carter and Yellow run around the back yard. The inches closer to me and her eyes narrow. “I heard some things about what happened when you left.”
I spike an eyebrow and can feel my heartbeat speed up. “You did?”
“Have you told him? About the baby?”
A breath leaves me and I have to close my eyes.
Shit.
“Not yet,” I whisper. I should’ve known things weren’t going to go as smooth as possible.
“So it’s true, then?” She nods and lets out a laugh. “The perfect daughter really did fuck the family up. I’m shocked Lincoln hasn’t heard anything about this, but it’s not surprising. He’s so wrapped up in his own little world he doesn’t get out much.” She shakes her head and I stand there speechless. I didn’t think anyone in this place knew about it. Who could have possibly known? I don’t keep in contact with anyone from that part of my life except for my sister and she’s definitely not going to blab. “You need to tell him, you know. He deserves it.” Her eyebrows raise and she crosses her arms in front of her.
“I will, okay?” I huff. “I just haven’t found the right time.”
She rests her hand on my arm and gives me a sad glance.
“I’m not here to threaten you, Wren. I like you and I think you’re good for him. You guys could have it all, but secrets don’t make friends.” She shrugs. “He’s had it rough too and he’s opened up his family to you. That’s huge. He’s never done this before. Just tell him.”
“It’s not as easy as it sounds, Reagan.”
“Just say the words. He’s more understanding than you may think.” She gives me a quick hug then walks back outside.
The rest of the evening is fun but my mind is focused on the fact that she could very well tell him before I have a chance to. She didn’t say that she would, but I don’t know how much I trust her.
The car ride home that evening is quiet. He installed the car seat back in his truck, apparently he’d take it out before every date we’ve been on, and the three of us are finally together. Just the three of us and it feels so…right.
“You wanna come back to my place tonight?” he whispers, his hand on my leg and Carter fast asleep in the backseat.
I scrunch my nose and let out a breath. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” I nod towards his son and he smiles.
“I’ll take you home. It’s ok.” The look of defeat on his face breaks my heart but I need some time to myself to figure out how I’m going to tell him my story.
It’s not an easy one to tell.
It’s been five days since Lincoln dropped me at my house. Five days since he kissed me by my front door thinking he’s in the clear and everything is finally out in the open. Five days I’ve been stewing in self-pity because I know it’ll be my past that breaks us.
Five days is a long time.
I texted him this morning asking if I can come over and the minute he replied I dusted off my jogging shoes and ran to his house. The run helped clear my head but it also brought on shin splits and side cramps from it being so long since I’ve actually exercised. A couple miles is nothing for Lincoln, but that run almost killed me.
“Hey there,” he says, smiling at the front door. “That was quick.” He glances around and runs his fingers through his hair. “It’s…I mean it’s a mess right now but come on. I’m just getting Carter dressed for the day.”
I follow him to the living room and laugh when Carter starts running around, butt naked. Lincoln’s just st
anding there with his hands on his hips, letting it happen.
“What if he pees somewhere?” I ask, laughing at the tiny being. God, he’s so cute. I work with kids every day but there’s something about this specific kid that feels just perfect. Maybe it’s the fact that he belongs to a man that’s rapidly stealing my heart.
“I’ll clean it up,” he shrugs. “About time to start potty training him anyway.”
I furrow my brows and look at him. “How old is he?”
“Almost twenty months. A few more weeks.” He laughs when Carter runs over and gives him a bear hug and I watch as Lincoln play wrestles him to the floor to get him dressed. They look like a pretty amazing team.
Twenty months.
Weird how timing works. The little one I was forced to give away would be right around Carter’s age. They could be friends… God.
“Hey I need to tell you something,” I blurt, feeling my heartbeat rising. My hands are clammy and I can feel my legs going weak and I know it’s probably from the run but my nerves are amped right now and I need to sit before I fall over.
“Go ahead,” he says, smiling up from changing Carter then throws his focus fully back to his son.
“I had a baby.” Again, word vomit. I can’t smooth talk my way into any situation; never been able to. I wince at the words and the look he’s giving me is pure confusion and betrayal.
“Okay?” He stands and lets Carter run to his toy room.
“Wren’s here!” Ford yells, walking into the room. The look Lincoln gives him is one that could kill.
“I’m gonna need you to take Carter for a walk, Ford.” He’s watching me carefully through narrowed eyes and the room goes awkwardly silent.
“Okay,” Ford says slowly. He looks between us and crosses his arms in front of him. “I’m down…but what the hell’s going on? I’m not taking him out of the house so you two can get freaky on that couch. That’s my gaming couch.”
“Please, Ford.” Lincoln’s low tone tells his brother he’s not joking around right now.