by M. Piper
I’m nauseous, I’m sad…so sad. And now I’m worried that someone out there thinks I shoved my baby on them without looking back.
God, they probably hate me.
“Lark!” I snap when she doesn’t answer me. She flinches and tears stream down her face. “Did Mom and Dad pay you?”
“Lots, yes. I wasn’t allowed to make it known that their daughter was pregnant or leave any trace of a baby. I did what I had to do to make sure they were satisfied and not going after this kid…and keep him safe at the same time,” she whispers. “I did what I had to do. I knew exactly who it was. I knew where to find him. So I dropped the baby off and ran.”
“You… how?” I whisper, wiping a tear away. “How do you know and I don’t?”
“The frat party, Wren. You were so drunk you passed out and didn’t remember it…but I was there. I remember it all.” She hiccups and moans sadly. “I’m so sorry. I should have told you. I should have given you the choice.”
“You fucking stole my child from me, Lark! I never even got to see him! How the hell did the hospital even let you do that?!” I shriek. My mind’s spinning. Or is that the room?
“Money talks, Wren.” She shrugs. “None of that matters. What matters is that you know he’s alive and well.” She shakes her head. “Very… Very well.” She grins a bit and her eyes hit mine and it clicks.
“Oh my God, Lark.” I mutter, stepping back from her and furrowing my brows. “You still keep in touch with them, don’t you?”
She shakes her head furiously. “I swear, no. I didn’t know what happened to them, I promise. Yesterday when I saw them I knew and—” Her eyes go wide as she blurts the word that make my face twist in anger.
“Yesterday?” I hiss.
She sighs in defeat and slides to the floor, crying. “I fucked everything up, Wren!”
“Yea. You can say that again.” I shake my head in disgust, unable to even attempt to wrap my head around this news.
I need a moment.
“I only have three things for you, Lark.” I sigh, finally. “One- I expect a name and number…even a fucking address for this guy. I deserve that much. And I’m giving you until I get out of the shower to produce it. Two- You will not be staying at my house this week. Pack your bags.” I huff. “And three?” I lean down and her eyes raise to mine. “You’re fucking dead to me.”
I shake my head at her and spin on my heel, storming to the bathroom. Lucy’s in the hallway with tears in her eyes as I round the corner.
“Wren?” she whispers and I lose it. My knees give out from under me and her arms wrap around me. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” she whispers, her hug embracing me with love my sister never apparently had for me.
“I didn’t…I couldn’t…” I hiccup and hear the front door click. She’s gone. Good. I hate her.
Fuck…what the fuck am I going to do?
My shower does nothing for my mood and neither does the fact that Lincoln hasn’t text back yet or called. I keep trying to let my sister’s news sink in but as I stare at myself in the mirror I don’t even know the person staring back at me.
Who just lets that happen to their own kid? Who thinks everything is normal when those circumstances that surrounded me back then happen?
God, I was young and naive.
As I’m drying my hair, I stare at my reflection. I really look nothing like the rest of my family other than my nose. It’s the feature that ties us all together. God, if I could not look anything like my parents I’d be happy. At this point, having any ties to any of those fuckers is terrible, in my book. I have half a mind to storm over to my parent’s house and bitch slap them too.
It’s all their fault. I’ve hated them for years now for being the force that pushed my baby away, but I was always okay with it because I knew he was rightfully adopted and had a loving family.
Not handed off to some stranger on the street.
I have so many questions I want answers to, but I don’t want to talk to my sister right now to ask them. She’s the key. She’s the reason all this happened. Her and my parents’ stupid money.
I trudge to the kitchen and see a piece of paper on the counter. My heart speeds up as I stare at the paper. The truth is on there, and now I’m afraid to read it.
“Lucy?” I yell and she comes running into the kitchen. “That your paper?” I manage.
“No,” she whispers. “You want me to read it?
With shaky hands I grip the paper and shove it at her.
I thought I could do it. I can’t.
She opens it up and I watch her eyes scan the paper and her eyebrows scrunch together.
“This doesn’t make sense, Wren.” She says, handing over the paper. “He was in Seattle?”
When my eyes scan the address, then the phone number… Holy fuck.
“No.” I manage. “No, that’s not… That’s not possible,” I stammer, the paper falling from my hands.
“You need to talk to him, Wren,” she whispers, her hands coming to mine to try to calm me.
“I ca—,” I gasp and lose it. If I thought I broke down earlier, I was wrong.
This can’t be happening.
“Oh, honey,” she whispers, wrapping her arms around me. I feel like I could collapse. This isn’t happening. Carter’s…mine?
And Lincoln and I… And I don’t remember?
I cry until the tears don’t run any more. I cry for all the time with Carter that I’ve lost because of my sister. I cry for the fact that Lincoln’s going to hate me over this and there’s a high possibility it’s going to break us up. Who wants to be with someone like me? And my family? I cry because for the final time I’ve let them run my life. I cry, because just when things were starting to look up, things once again have come crashing down.
I want to believe it’s not possible, but the more time I have to process it, the more time I have to understand that this just may be my reality. Lincoln said someone dropped the baby and ran. He lived in Seattle. Hell, I’m almost certain he went to school near my sister, if not with her.
It’s way too possible.
I whimper and don’t bother wiping the tears from my face as they drip onto my shirt.
Lucy moves me to the couch where I curl into her sweatshirt blanket from college and I cry myself to sleep. Because when sleeping, at least the reality of the world isn’t weighing down on my heart.
“You need to go to her, son.” My father’s voice comes in soft as he enters the toy room where I’ve been watching Carter play for a few hours. I can’t get off the floor. Everything aches too much.
“I’m fine right now, Dad. Thanks,” I grumble.
It’s terrible, but I’ve had almost a full day of knowing the truth about Carter and Wren and I have yet to call her. She’s texted a few times but I haven’t responded. This is the first time I’ve ever not responded to her and I’m sure she’s worried…but I can’t right now. She probably hates me for doing that to her…but honestly I’m not sure she even knows yet. The thought of having to break the news to her myself kills me almost as much as the truth of the situation. It’s my fault she had to come back home. It all stems from my stupid, immature self.
“She’s not going to hate you, you know.” My dad’s hand rests on my shoulder and I shrug him off.
“I know Mom sent you, Dad. It’s ok. You don’t have to do this.”
“Listen,” he blurts, plopping down on the floor next to me. “Your mother and I have had our ups and downs…lots of them. Most you don’t even know about nor will you ever because it’s not the place of a child to know their parents’ marriage difficulties. But I can speak to love. A love that you have for Wren and the love that she has for you.” He raises his eyebrow. “And for that boy over there.”
“She doesn’t even know yet, Dad. I left her pregnant without a way to get a hold of me. I ruined her life.”
“Did you? Because her life seems pretty good right now. She’s got a sweet job, an awesome boyfriend,
and his family is pretty much to die for.” He says, grinning and nudging me. I can’t find it in me to smile right now, though.
“Yea, and a boyfriend that fucked her and left her in a dark shed on a cold winter’s night.”
“That boy wasn’t her boyfriend. That was some drunk college kid that needed to get his head out of his ass.” He pats my back. “Get up. Go talk to her.”
I moan and let my head fall back to the wall.
“Now, Lincoln. Take that beautiful son of yours and go talk to her.”
I huff, knowing my father isn’t going to drop it. I also know my mom probably didn’t send him…he’s a good guy. He’s not going to let this blow over and he’s not one to let his kids wallow in self-pity. I fucked up. I need to make this right.
“Her parents are going to want to hide all of this, Dad,” I whisper. “They’ve had it out for West House ever since we didn’t sell a few years ago when the state wanted to take over. Think of all the money that house would bring them. Dad, they want the business, we know that. Now what? They could ruin us.” The minute I met Wren and learned who she was, I knew there could be drama with her family but she’s worth whatever risk getting a West involved with a Potts entails. Even if it’s something this big.
He narrows his eyes at me. “They will never ruin us. We’re Wests. We run this town…not them. Wren’s a good girl, she would never let her parents run her life.”
“She did,” I quip, standing up.
“Because she was young and nineteen and some idiot left her pregnant and high and dry,” he mumbles and smacks the back of my head. “Stop being a little punk and go see your girl. I swear to God, I never thought I’d have to tell you, my oldest and wisest son, how to keep the girl he loves.” He shakes his head and walks out of the room.
He’s right, though. As scared as it makes me…I need to see her. Maybe there’s a chance we can make it through this. I love her more than life itself. I can’t see myself without her. Ever. And Carter… Hell, he loves her.
Thinking back, he took to her so easily. I never wondered why, but it all makes sense. She’s his mother.
Holy fuck.
I pick him up and on my way out of the house stop at the kitchen to snag him some snacks and a drink. Lord knows where today will take us but I’m learning never to leave the house without extra shit for him. Kid’s growing and I’m waiting for the day when I can’t keep groceries in the house for longer than a day. I know it’s coming.
With a bag on one shoulder and him on my other hip, I swing the door open, ignoring my family on the back porch, and I’m met with those large, beautiful, baby blue eyes.
That are glistening with tears as she wears a worried expression.
She knows.
“Hey,” she whispers, her eyes moving to Carter and she lets out a sob so I do the only thing I can.
I hand him over to her and she takes him, immediately wrapping him in her arms and hugging him then planting kisses all over his face. Sobbing. Right there on my parents’ front porch.
I don’t realize I’m crying until the warmth streaks down my cheeks. I swipe them away but it’s no use when more fall. She’s too beautiful standing there, holding my son.
Her son… Shit… Our son.
I watch her fuss with him, laughing and smiling and playing while holding him tight and letting the tears stream down her face. The kid’s clueless as to what this moment means in his life, he’s just happy to have the attention. I try to clear my throat but it comes out a strangled noise and she glances at me, blinking away the tears.
“I’m sorry,” I manage. “God, Wren… I’m so sorry.”
Her lips purse together and she nods, closing her eyes and pressing her lips to Carter’s forehead. She looks like a goddamned angel holding him.
I try to dry my eyes and happen to glance back towards the back porch. I know my family’s probably cued in on what’s happening right now and I’m glad they haven’t rushed in on this moment.
This is a moment that needs to be perfect.
As usual, I’m right. The four of them are all standing by the windows that span the back of the house, right off the porch, and there’s not a dry eye in the bunch of them.
“Come on in,” I say, clearing my throat again. She smiles at me and steps inside, and as I close the door behind her I feel different than I ever have before.
Wren just made my little family one hundred percent complete.
Now all I have to do is keep her.
“I’m guessing you know,” she whispers, not about to put Carter down. She sways as he lays his head on her shoulder and starts to play with her hair. Watching her with him has my heart flopping in my chest. I can’t believe she’s here, his mother. I can’t believe I was that big of an idiot to not remember her. How could I not remember my Wren?
“I do,” I whisper, feeling like I could throw up from nerves.
“Did you know the whole time?” Her eyes fall to Carter and she pats his back while she sways, and in a minute he’s going to be asleep if she doesn’t stop.
“I found out yesterday. I swear to God, Wren…none of this was planned. I promise you, until your sister told me I had no clue. This completely blindsided me.”
She lets out a harsh chuckle and nods. “You could say that again.”
I sigh and walk her into the bedroom where my family can’t see us. She sits on the rocking chair and within thirty seconds Carter’s passed out and she looks like she’s in heaven. She grins at me as she rocks.
“He’s perfect, Lincoln.”
“You created him, Wren.” God, these fucking tears. I’m a grown man, I don’t cry. Watching my son finally meet his mother…well that’d take any grown man’s dignity and turn it to mush.
She takes a breath and wipes away a tear, closing her eyes. I sit in the room with her as she rocks him for a half hour. Thirty full minutes of silence between us, but everything feels right. Knowing what I know about Wren, she’s not going to give up on this. She’s going to fight, she’s going to love, and she’s going to do every step with the fierce love she has inside of her for me, and for Carter.
“You’ve raised him this far, Lincoln,” she whispers finally. “But I will be a part of it now. I can’t take back what my sister did. All I can do is apologize to you for not being strong enough and letting my family run my life. That ends here. This is my son. This is my life.” Her eyes lock on mine and she’s gritting her teeth, blinking away a few tears as she rocks Carter.
“You were young, Wren. You have nothing to apologize for. I, however, have everything to apologize for. I left you there. You had no clue who I was that evening. Hell, we were both so drunk I still have a hard time making out details. All I know is that night isn’t who I am now. It’s not the man I ever want to be again and I sincerely hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for being such a tool back then.”
She smiles at me and nods slowly. “I think we both kinda screwed up, didn’t we?”
“I wouldn’t call that little man a ‘screw up’… I mean I’m pretty partial to him.” I grin and shrug.
She sighs and closes her eyes, whispering, “What do we do now, Lincoln? My parents are going to flip.”
“Why?” I blurt, standing. “Your parents don’t own you. They wanted that baby gone and that’s what happened,” I all but growl. “I’m guessing you haven’t told them yet?” She shakes her head and sighs heavy.
“They’re going to want him gone again, Lincoln. Their daughter living here with a baby that she had in college? God, the drama. It’ll be the talk of the town.”
“Let them talk,” I growl. “This is my son. Biologically and legally. He’s also yours and you’re a grown adult. I dare them to try anything.”
She nods, opening her eyes and catching my gaze. “And what about us?” she whispers and I smile.
“What about us?” I ask, raising my eyebrows.
“This changes so much. I mean… This doesn’t happen, Lincoln.
” She laughs. “This is like, right out of a movie. This shit doesn’t happen in real life.”
“It does, and it did. We can’t change the past, Wren. But we can make our future, together, perfect.”
“It’s not awkward now, is it?”
“Babe, it’s…” I sigh and rub my neck, pacing the room. “Before yesterday, I knew you were it for me. I loved watching you with Carter, I loved doing your laundry with mine, I loved seeing your shit in the bathroom,” I laugh. “Seeing you with him today? I never knew I could love two people as much. It’s like something inside me that I’ve been holding back burst open and the sun now shines brighter, shit in here smells different. It’s ridiculous, but one look at the two of you as mother and son?” I let out a light laugh and shrug. “There’s nothing more perfect that I could ask for.” I walk over and kneel down by her, taking her hand in mine. “Wren, this only changes what Carter calls you. And your bedroom…and house.” I roll my eyes and grin. “I mean, I’m going to need you to move in with us.”
She grins slow and brings her hand to my cheek as she rocks him.
“Your brother lives with you. Don’t you think that’s a busy house?”
I raise my eyebrows. “Nope. That place is big enough. Anyway, he won’t live there forever.”
“I can make a mean omelet.” She grins and taps her finger on my nose. “He does have my nose too,” she whispers, smirking.
“So that’s a yes?” I ask, biting my lips together waiting for her reply.
“Can I put my lucky elephant in the living room?” She asks.
“Babe, you can redecorate my entire place. But, I thought you didn’t like that thing?”
“Pms,” she shrugs. “Anyway, it did bring you and Carter back to me I guess.”
I laugh and nod. “Anything you want, Wren. As long as you’re in my life forever.”
“I’m moving in, Lincoln,” she whispers with a laugh to her tone. “That’s not a marriage proposal. You’ll have to do a whole lot better than that for the big day.” She winks at me and my thoughts immediately go to my Nan’s ring she gave me a month ago.