“No way, you’re my one love baby. That will never change. A baby on the way? That just makes my heart grow larger. You already consume my whole heart, now I need to grow to make room for the baby,” he says as he places his hand upon my stomach. He leans down and kisses my tummy. “I love you, new baby.” My emotions can’t handle all this. I can’t cry anymore, regardless of happiness or sadness. I am emotionally exhausted.
He stands up and asks me about the cookies. I start laughing “Well I figured I’d make the cookies, because you and Larissa keep messing with me about my burnt cookies. I had the help of Abby to write the baby on the one and to transfer an edible image of the baby sonogram on the other one.”
He laughed. “Well I’m not eating them. Not because you made them, but because this is the best gift I could possibly ask for. I am going to save this. This came from your heart. You could have just told me but you decided to be creative and I love it.”
He smiled at me as he leaned down and kissed me passionately.
When we both came up for air I said. “I love your gift too, means more than you could possibly imagine. This will be around my neck at all times. Your heart to mine. I love you so much.”
“I love you too baby. I’m excited for what our future has in store for us and our little mini me.” He smiles. This moment right here is going to be stored in my favorite moment slot in my memory. I don’t think anything can top this moment or how I feel. This is what I call pure happiness.
***
Aiden
I spent all of Christmas day with Serena. I’m not lying when I say this has been the best Christmas to date. I can’t believe she’s pregnant! Its great news but at the same time I’m scared out of my mind. I am young and I don’t know anything about parenting but no matter how scared I am, I am prepared to make it work.
Before heading home, I do what I normally do in big situations like this. I go straight to visit my mother. I sit at her grave and talk endlessly about how happy I am. I tell her about the pregnancy and how I wish she was here to meet her grandbaby. I know I may look like a crazy person carrying on a conversation by myself but I know she can hear me and that’s all that matters. At one point, I actually cry because I am so happy that my emotions flow right out of me. I know if my mother was here face to face with me, I would be like a weeping baby. I hold my composure though so I don’t look too weak.
When I first opened that present I wasn’t sure what to think. I wasn’t sure where she stood with the decision. I figured she was happy because she made this into a present but I couldn’t be too sure, so I didn’t show the joy I really wanted to show. I held back until I knew exactly what she wanted. My heart expanded the moment I seen her come apart in front of me, already loving this child like her life depended on it. I know the situation she’s in and that she was trying to avoid this, but the moment I saw the sparkle in her tear-stained eyes that this is something she wants more than anything, I had to hold myself together to prevent myself from breaking down. There’s so many things I wanted to tell her that I didn’t. I guess I can save that for another time. I told her what’s important to me and that’s all that matters.
I have to really hustle my ass and find a job. Everything will work out if I really set my mind to it. I leave the cemetery feeling refreshed from getting all this out. On the way home I can’t help but make a phone call.
I dial a number and hear a female voice. “Well if it isn’t for the baby daddy?!”
“Well hello to you to Abby! You knew about this and didn’t say anything. Payback Abby! Payback!” I threatened.
She started laughing. “Sorry man, it was a secret. Plus we had to make your present, so we couldn’t tell you. Don’t even tell me you would have rather found out a different way.”
“Nah, I really enjoyed the present. She told me that you helped her make it. I just wanted to say thank you, after I busted your balls about not telling me. But anyways, thanks for being there for her.” I mean everything I say to her. Ben is my best friend and from the looks of it, Abby may be becoming Serena’s best friend. I’m grateful that she is here for Serena.
“Anytime. I’m so excited. I know you’re going to be an amazing dad and I can’t wait to see the day you get to hold your baby.” I can tell she is overly excited.
“I can’t wait for that day either. Anyways, let me let you go. I’m almost home and headed to bed. I am exhausted. Tell Ben I said hi and merry Christmas,” I said.
“Okay. Later,” and she hangs up the phone.
I lay in bed with swarming thoughts of my baby floating around my mind. I think of everything from the gender to names. I am even thinking ahead and thinking about teaching my baby to ride a bike at the age of five. Life is great.
***
A week later when classes resumed I headed to school early. I’m about to do something I thought I would never do, but it’s one step closer to hopefully securing myself a great future.
I knock on the door. The door opens. “Well if it isn’t Aiden Clark! What might be the pleasure of your visit?”
“Hi coach, I’d like to take you up on your offer to be part of the team,” I kind of stutter as I’m speaking. That’s because my nerves are on fire right now, this is extremely hard to do since what happened to my mother, but I have to put that behind me and think of Serena and my future baby. If I can secure my career in this, we could be set for life. Especially if I make it pro.
Coach smiles widely. “I’m so happy you reconsidered. Practice is after school. You don’t need to try out. I already know you’d make it. See you at tryouts.” He shakes my hand.
“Thanks sir, I will try my best to be the best.”
“That’s the spirit I want to hear. See you on the field.”
I walk out of the office and let out the breath I seemed to be holding. That wasn’t so hard. I hope I can get my head together for practice.
***
Lunchtime rolls around and I see Serena and Larissa at the table. I’m not sure if she broke the news to Larissa, so I won’t say anything. I get my food and sit by them. The girls are just chatting away, not even paying attention to me. They must be making up for some lost time.
I eat in silence listening to them gab away when Larissa stands up suddenly looking at her watch. “I have to go, I’ll see you later?”
Serena looks at her and nods. She’s in a hurry for some reason. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her leave lunch early.
“Have you told Larissa?” I ask as I am taking a bite of my food.
“Not yet. I’m waiting for the right moment. I haven’t told my mom yet either.”
“I haven’t told my dad yet either. I think I’ll break the news to him tonight. Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something. I can’t meet you after school anymore.” She looks surprised and maybe a little bit hurt with my confession.
“Why? You don’t want to spend time with me?” She’s pouting now.
“No baby, I wish I could spend every moment with you. I decided to go back into football. So I will be pretty much practicing every day after school.”
I can see the shock on her face when I tell her that. Her mouth falls open. “I thought you said you would never play?”
“I know but now that we have a baby, I need to step up my game. I need to put all my fears and insecurities in the past and think of us.” I smile at her and she sighed in relief.
“I’m so proud of you. You simply amaze me. Good luck baby! Knock em all out,” she joked.
I’m happy that she is supportive of my decision. This makes everything much easier. The lunch bell rings and we kiss and depart to our classes.
After school I enter the men’s locker room and ready myself for practice. I put on all the gear and enter the field. The coach looks happy that I am here. We start practicing and my mind keeps altering to my mother. I still do great playing but I can’t stop my body from going into emotional overdrive since the last time I was on this field I got that heart stoppi
ng call. Maybe I have this fear because in the back of my mind, I’m waiting for the coach to call me off the field to give me some bad news. I know it’s not going to happen but my mind keeps replaying that dreadful day. I know it’s too soon to get into this since the accident but I really have no choice at this point. I will have to conquer my fears to support and protect the ones I love.
Practice ends and coach pulls me off to the side. I don’t like this. My body goes rigid with anxiety for what’s to come. Flashbacks of that dreadful day appear. I remember the coach pulling me off the field because there was a phone call. When I answered, all I heard was my dad’s sobs. I couldn’t understand what he was saying because he was crying so hard. I knew something happened. He couldn’t talk to me so the phone was passed to someone else, apparently a doctor, who told me what happened. My knees gave out and I hit the floor when he told me the news that my mother was dead. It was all my fault. If she wasn’t rushing to my game, she would be here today.
“Aiden, you’re doing great. You have to get your head in the game. I can see that you are thinking too hard. Clear your mind and you’ll do phenomenal.” He pats me on the back and walks away. Yeah if only I could clear my mind. It’s not so easy when the last time I played, my mother died. This is harder than I thought.
I shower and leave the school, heading home. I enter the driveway and see my dad is home. I’m dreading and anticipating this conversation because I don’t know which way it will go. I enter the house and my dad immediately sees that something is off.
“Hey, son! How are you doing?” He asked.
“I’m good, just got back from practice.” His eyes just widened.
“Practice? Like football practice?” He asked looking really shocked.
“Yeah. I decided to play.”
“I’m surprised you’re playing. Can I ask why? I thought I’d never see you on the field ever again” He exclaimed.
“You might want to sit down for this,” I say nervously.
“UH OH,” was all that I heard from his mouth as he sat down looking nervous.
“Serena’s pregnant,” I say a little too quickly. I give him a minute to absorb what I just told him. He doesn’t say anything for a while. Then he gets up from his chair, still not talking and I’m not sure what’s going on. He leaves the room. Fuck! What the hell did I get myself into? He must be pissed at me.
I sit in my chair mentally scolding myself for being so stupid when he walks in with an envelope and hands it to me. I’m a little shocked and unsure of what this envelope contains. I’m almost afraid to open it.
“You don’t have to open this now, do so when you feel the time is right. When you do open it, let me know. There’s also something I have to show you. I love you son! Congratulations! I’m with you one-hundred percent and I will support you anyway I can.” He hugs me and I am now at peace. My dad is okay with this. This is more than I could have asked for.
I take the envelope to my room and close the door. I open it and read the letter, which fills my eyes with tears. The other item in the envelope made my mouth hit the floor in shock!
Chapter 12
Serena
I left school at the end of the day anticipating and fearing the outcome of the day. Today I’m going to tell Larissa and my mother about the pregnancy. I know Larissa will be happy but I’m not too sure what will happen with my mother. I don’t want to tell her but I have to. I would only be able to keep it hidden for so long until I got big. I just hope I don’t get the same outcome that Cadence received.
I meet Larissa at the coffee shop like we always meet at. I sit down at the chair and listen to her tell me about all the latest gossip around school and let’s not forget the biology teacher. She always has a lot to say about him. She looks up at me as if she knows I’m not paying attention to her. She can see right through me.
“Okay what’s up? I know something is up. I can see it written all over your face and don’t tell me nothing because I know you too well. You can’t lie to me,” she spat out.
“Um…. Well you see…..I’m pregnant!”
There I got it out I let out a huge sigh even though this was the easy part. The hard part is sitting at home waiting for me. Larissa’s eyes just widened. I know it’s kind of mean but she looks all bug eyed. I mentally laugh at my insight.
“This isn’t April fools. You can’t just fuck with me like that,” she said.
“I’m serious. I took a test and it came back positive.”
I look at her to see what her response will be.
“You can’t always go by the test results. A lot of times they give you false positives.”
She waves her hand as if she just disregarded my statement.
“I had an ultrasound done. There is most definitely a bun in this oven.”
I can see the shock hit her face when I tell her. That shock turns into a huge smile. She jumps up, grabs me, embraces me and jumps up and down. I’m happy that she has this response. I know I have people in my life that will stick through no matter what.
“Okay, please stop shaking me unless you want my lunch all over your clothes.”
She laughs at that.
“Oh my God, I can’t believe it. I’m so happy for you. When are you due?” she asks excitedly.
“I’m not sure yet. I just went to the pregnancy place down the street for the ultrasound to confirm pregnancy. They don’t tell you the due date; that has to be done by the doctor. I have to make an appointment, but first I have to tell my mom,” I say nervously looking down at my hands.
“Oh, I didn’t think of that. I know how you’re feeling with the way your mom reacted to Cadence. I think it’ll be fine. I don’t think she’ll react the same way. She won’t be able to lose both of you. That will be too hard and not to mention her only grandbabies that she won’t be able to see. Think positive girl, everything will work out.”
She sure put the confidence right back into me that I was lacking. I am still nervous and scared but I’m hoping for the best.
I leave Larissa and head back home. I love walking around the neighborhood, getting exercise and seeing all the beautiful scenery. As I’m on my way home, my phone goes off. I open it and see I have a text from Aiden.
Hey Baby Girl. I told my Dad and everything is good. He’s happy and will stand behind us no matter what. I love you!
That put a smile back on my face, releasing some of the tension that has built up. Good news so far. I just need to break the news to my Mom. One more confrontation and Aiden and I can live happily with our new baby, family and friends by our sides.
I enter the house and my mom is on the couch watching TV. I sit down on the chair. I don’t interrupt her, although I should. I’m trying to find the right words to say but my fear and anxiety are getting the best of me. I tried to just say it but the words aren’t coming out. This is a lot harder than I thought. After sitting with Larissa and Aiden’s text, I thought I had it in me. I thought that the fear was gone and was replaced with ease. Not so much.
My mom looks right at me as my mouth is wide open from trying to get the words out. “Hey honey, what’s wrong? You look like something’s bothering you.”
I quickly shut my mouth. Shit. I have to tell her. I sit there trying to get the words out.
“I have something to tell you.”
I close my eyes with dread because it’s something I can’t avoid any longer. It needs to be let out.
She looks at me and I can see the nervousness taking place. Her hands are starting to tremble as she anticipates what it can be. I can tell by her body language that she knows that something is bad.
“What is it?” her voice is shaky.
“Um….”
My heart is hammering against my chest as I try to find a way to tell her. My hands are now shaking from the fear of being rejected by my own mother.
“Just tell me. Get it over with,” she said.
“I’m pregnant.”
As soon as the word
s hit the surface, the tears started. I can’t even stop them. My mom just sits there silently. She’s sitting across from me looking right at me but I feel so far away right now.
“Do you want to keep the baby?” she asks and it pains me. It really does because I don’t want this to be a situation Cadence was in. My mom won’t reject both of us will she?
“I have every intention of keeping this baby. This is a baby from mine and Aiden’s love and I can’t dismiss that. I know it’s not something you want to hear but this happened for a reason. I am one hundred percent on seeing this through.”
The tears are still there but not as much because of my new found strength. This baby is making me stronger than I ever thought possible. I love this baby already even though I haven’t even met the baby yet.
“Okay. I’m not going to make the same mistake I made with Cadence. You are free to stay here as long as possible until you’re on your feet. I’ll help with what I can.”
Never say forever (Never series Book 1) Page 13