“Is everything all right? Are you knocked up?” It’s entirely possible. She and Bane fuck like feral rabbits. I’d say ferrets, but I don’t actually know the fucking habits of ferrets.
“I’m drinking.” She holds up her glass and takes a sizable sip to assure me that she is not, in fact, knocked up.
“Right. Okay. So what’s going on? You’re kind of freaking me out here.”
“Sorry.” She fidgets some more. “I’m just going to come out and tell you.”
“Tell me what?” I worry it has something to do with Armstrong. He’s been quiet the past few days, not emailing or leaving messages at all. He’s also avoiding the calls from Pierce.
“Bancroft proposed.”
Thanks to my shock, it takes more time than it should before I’m able to open my mouth and make words come out. “Oh my God!” Bancroft is really the perfect person for her.
It breaks my heart that she looks legitimately scared to be telling me this. What’s worse is she has a right to be, because as okay as I try to appear most of the time, she’s the one who sees me fall apart over this whole thing, more often than I’d like. And I haven’t even told her what I’m really falling apart over. I try to keep my voice level. “When did he propose?”
She looks guilty rather than excited. “Don’t be mad, okay?”
I’m reminded of the conversation I had with Armstrong when I handed in my resignation. I wonder if he was right, that they were waiting for me to be okay, and if that’s the case, how off balance have I been this whole time? “I won’t be mad. How long ago did he propose?”
“Last week.”
My stomach feels like is in my throat. “Last week when?”
“Sunday. He took me out for dinner and then when we came home he strapped the ring box to Francesca’s back, it was weird and sweet.”
I laugh, because seriously, what an odd way to propose to someone, but it really is fitting for the two of them. Francesca brought them together. “It sounds perfect. Why didn’t you tell me before now?”
She’s sitting on her hands again. “I should’ve. I was going to, but then you had that bad day and I thought it might be better to wait awhile.”
I filter back through the past week. The last bad day I had came on the heels of an email from Armstrong citing his refusal to sign the annulment until we’d met to discuss the terms. I hated being in this constant state of limbo, with the person I didn’t want keeping me tied to him and the person I wanted completely out of reach. I missed Lex. I wanted to call him, see him, just be with him, but I couldn’t. Not here in New York, not while Armstrong refuses to set me free.
“I’m sorry you couldn’t share your excitement with me.” I don’t want to be sad right now. I want to be happy for my best friend, for the person who put aside her elation to shield me from my self-inflicted pain.
She pats my knee. “It’s okay. I know how hard this has been for you.”
I wave a hand around determined not to break down. “Let me see the damn ring!”
She laughs, her relief understandable since my emotions have been so tenuous lately, and holds out her hand. It’s stunning and exactly perfect for Ruby. It’s not a huge rock. Instead, a princess-cut diamond sits nestled in white gold, smaller diamonds encasing it and fanning out along the band. It’s unique and beautiful.
I skim the diamonds. “He picked this out on his own?”
“I think Mimi helped him a little.”
“It’s gorgeous. Have you thought about a date?” I wonder if it’s possible to have wedding PTSD, or to develop a phobia of weddings with how clammy my skin is.
“Maybe summer. Or fall? I know it’s not really a lot of time, but I don’t know that we need it. I already live with him. I don’t need some big to-do. We’ll see. It’s all kind of new, right? Mimi’s already talking about an engagement party, and of course she wants it to be in one of the New York hotels.” She’s fidgeting again, like she’s nervous. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to be in the wedding party . . .” She trails off.
“Of course I’ll be in your wedding. My experience isn’t going to get in the way of me standing up for my best friend.”
“I just . . . I know how stressful he’s made this. I can’t guarantee Armstrong won’t be at the wedding. I mean, I don’t want him there, but he’s Bancroft’s family, and it’s kind of a complicated situation. I can tell you that Bancroft won’t hesitate to punch him out if he’s a jerk to you, though.”
“I can deal with Armstrong.” It’s Lex who’s going to be the problem. I have no idea how to handle this situation with him anymore.
“We’re having dinner with Bane’s family tomorrow night. Mimi wants to talk about the engagement party, and if you’re okay to be part of the planning, you could come, but I totally understand if it’s too much too soon.”
“Of course I’ll come. I want to be involved.”
“Great. Awesome. I’ll tell Mimi. Griffin is going to be there, and Lex, obviously. They’ll both be in the wedding party.”
Oh God. Of course he’s going to be involved. Probably heavily. We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other in the coming months.
Ruby eyes me warily. “What is that face about?”
Telling Ruby about what happened in Bora Bora now will just make things more awkward. Not only did I lie to her while I was there and in the months since I’ve been back, but I also do not want Bane knowing. Besides, this is between me and Lex and, no matter what, I won’t betray his confidence over this. “Sorry. It’s nothing.”
Ruby narrows her eyes. “Is it about Lex?”
I shake my head, trying to keep the vigor to a minimum.
“Amie, come on, talk to me. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you react every time I bring him up. Did something happen in Bora Bora that you’re not telling me about?”
“No. Nothing happened.” I focus on my glass, wishing I didn’t have to keep this from her.
“Are you sure, because you’re being really weird and evasive right now. You’ve declined every dinner you’ve been invited to at the Mills and just the mention of Lex’s name seems to freak you out. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”
I sigh, preparing for the bitterness of the lie before it comes out of my mouth. I’m a pretty decent liar. I’ve had lots of experience with it over the years, but most of the time I’m concocting lies with Ruby, not telling them to her. “He was nothing but nice to me in Bora Bora. I’m just embarrassed about the way things happened at the wedding, and how he had to come to my rescue on my non-honeymoon. I’m making a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be.”
“You’re sure? It’s okay if you’re not ready for this. I really will understand.”
“I know you would, but honestly, Ruby, it’s nothing I can’t handle.” I lift my glass to my lips and don an impish smile. “It’s not an interrogation room in a Mexican airport, it’s a dinner party with a guy I tried to make screw me.”
Ruby laughs, looking relieved but still uncertain. “I bet he wishes we hadn’t busted in on you.”
“I don’t know about that, I waved gardening shears at him, he was pretty terrified.”
“How did I not know about the gardening shears?”
“How do you think I cut myself out of the dress?”
“I sort of wish I’d been there to witness it.”
“There is only one witness, and thankfully he seems to be good at keeping those details to himself on account of my threats with the shears.”
“That was a real Anarchy Amie moment for you, or series of moments, I guess. I’m glad you let her out to play in Bora Bora, even though I didn’t even get to see one picture of Mr. Hottie Hook-Up.”
“I figured it was better to leave all the evidence behind.” I’m glad I don’t have any pictures of Lex on my phone. Then I’d be able to connect them to specific memories, to a night, to the scent of his skin, to the feel of his lips, to the sound of his voice in my ear.
I hav
e no idea how I’m going to manage seeing him again.
At least it’s a dinner party. I just have to make sure we don’t end up alone.
Twenty: Private Party
Lexington
It’s been more than a month since I’ve seen Amie. Not that I’m keeping track. I’m not obsessed. I’m not fixated. I don’t stroke myself to the pictures I took of her sunbathing in Bora Bora. Because that would be wrong. And a little desperate.
I run my fingers across my ties, trying to decide which one I want to wear tonight. We’re having a dinner party to celebrate Bancroft’s engagement and likely to plan the actual engagement party, because my mother’s favorite thing in the world is party planning. Nothing makes her happier.
Amie’s going to be there. At least I assume she is. She’s Ruby’s best friend. She’ll be in the wedding. I have to wonder how she’s handling this. I’m aware, thanks to Bancroft, that Ruby waited almost a full week after Bane proposed to tell Amie—because she wasn’t managing things well. When I asked what that meant, Bane shrugged and clammed up.
I don’t know if I’m part of the reason for Amie’s inability to handle things. I don’t want to make her life more difficult than it already is, especially since Armstrong is being a huge jackass about the annulment. But I can’t pretend I’m not looking forward to seeing her even if I can’t sleep with her anymore.
It’s obviously a bad idea considering the runner she pulled last time. I should’ve just left things alone, but once we were in the car reasoning took a vacation with logic, leaving my dick in charge. I’ve almost texted her a hundred times over the past few days, but I’m not going to push her to talk to me if she’s not ready. Except tonight we’re going to have to find a way to deal with this, because we’ll be spending time together, no matter what. Maybe not alone time, but time nonetheless.
I choose a purple tie and a white dress shirt to go with my black dress pants and leave my condo early so I can pick up some flowers for my mother on the way.
Traffic is worse than I anticipated, so I’m late instead of on time. My mother greets me at the door, her expression changing from chastising for my lateness to emotional when I present her with flowers, which is silly because it’s not unusual for me to bring them for her. She doesn’t pass them off to one of the staff to put them in water. Instead, she makes me come with her to the pantry to select the right vase, then she has me arrange them and put them on the table in the entryway so she can see them every time she comes home or goes out.
It’s a small gathering, just immediate family and a couple of Bancroft’s old rugby friends, so Amie is the first person I see even though she’s on the other side of the room. Her long blond hair hangs loose around her shoulders. Her knee-length lavender dress skims her curves but doesn’t conform, hiding the perfection that lies underneath. Her heels are gray, and low. The champagne glass in her hand is half full.
“Lex! You’re here!” Ruby abandons her side and runs over, throwing her arms around my neck. She never lacks for an enthusiastic greeting.
“As if I would miss your pre-engagement-party party.” I met Amie’s gaze from over Ruby’s shoulder.
Her smile is tentative and uncertain. She’s in the middle of a conversation with one of my mother’s friends. Her attention returns to her when she leans in and whispers something to Amie.
I don’t have an opportunity to talk to Amie before we’re seated for dinner because I’m pulled into a conversation with my father over business matters, which is not unusual.
She’s seated directly across from me at dinner, beside Ruby, who keeps leaning over and whispering in her ear. Amie seems to be unable to make eye contact with me. I need to get five minutes alone with her, and not to get her naked—which I would definitely like to do—but so we can figure out a way to be near each other without it being incredibly awkward, or obvious that there’s something going on. Or there had been something going on. I’m concerned that Ruby is already suspicious with all the whispering.
“Amalie, I wanted to check in with you about your experience with the Mills New York hotel spa services,” my father asks.
Shit. I don’t think I ever followed up on that with my assistant, Ursula.
Amalie gives my dad her signature polite, inquisitive smile. “New York hotels?”
My dad glances at me, somewhat questioningly, and then addresses Amie again. “Lexington mentioned how much help you were in Bora Bora with revising the spa service menu. He even went so far as to give you credit for the best ideas.”
“Oh?” Amie’s eyes flare, and for the first time, she actually meets my gaze for a fleeting second in which the question What the fuck? hangs heavy. “I think Lexington is exaggerating. I just spent a few hours being pampered.”
“Don’t be so modest, Amalie. Your input at the sister hotels is the reason we’re up on ratings again, isn’t that right, Lex?”
I can feel Bane’s eyes on me as I fight not to fidget. “Amalie was incredibly helpful.”
Ruby props her chin on her fist as she addresses Amie. “I didn’t know you were helping Lex while you were in Bora Bora.”
Amie waves her hand around in the air dismissively. “Lex was just being kind, giving me something to do so I wasn’t bored. While he went to meetings and did all the important things I sampled spa services.”
“That was really sweet of you, Lex,” Ruby says, but she’s looking at Amie and there’s a whole hell of a lot of suspicion on her face. “And here I thought all you had time for was Hottie Hook-Up.”
Amie coughs and gives Ruby the eye. Who the hell is Hottie Hook-Up?
My dad glosses right over that comment, or maybe he misses it. “There’s no need to be modest about your assistance, Amalie. We’re very grateful for your input, isn’t that right, Lexington?”
“Yeah. Yes, definitely.” Shit. I am not keeping it together right now, and it doesn’t help that Amie looks anything but comfortable with this conversation.
My dad gives me an odd look. “Lexington suggested you might be interested in experiencing some of the same services here in the city, and he thought it would be lovely to include Ruby. I assumed Lexington had already extended the invitation, but then I realize maybe you’ve been busy, all things considering. You’re working for Williams Media now, aren’t you?”
I don’t even know how my dad would know this. Or maybe it’s just been part of the gossip circuit.
“I am.”
“I’ve heard it’s going well. Wasn’t Thurston’s wife singing Amalie’s praises, Mimi?” he asks my mom.
Mimi places a hand over his. “Yes, but I think you’re embarrassing the poor girl with all this attention.”
“Right, of course. My apologies. Well, the invitation still stands to take advantage of the New York hotel spa services. It would be wonderful to get your opinion on how they stack up against the services at the Bora Bora hotels. Lex, you can have Ursula organize that for Amalie and Ruby, whenever it fits their schedules.”
“I can do that.” Please let this conversation be over.
“Perfect. I think it would be advisable to organize a lunch or dinner afterward, and Amalie can brief you on her opinions while they’re fresh, you too, Ruby.”
Amie and I exchange a quick glance. She looks completely shell-shocked. I don’t know whether I should be offended or not, or what the root of that emotion is. Now I really need to get her alone so I can talk to her without all of these people around.
The opportunity doesn’t arise until the dishes are cleared and we have an intermission before coffee and dessert. Amie excuses herself to the bathroom as people disperse from the table. I use the opportunity to take the shortcut to the powder room I assume she’ll use.
“Oh!” She stumbles back, her palm covering her mouth when she steps into the bathroom and finds me already in there. I follow her into the hall, grab her wrist, and pull her down to the next door, which happens to be my childhood bedroom. The room has been redecorated, everyth
ing a subtle, cool gray with white and black accents.
I close the door and flip the lock for privacy, standing in front of it so she can’t continue to evade me.
“What’re you doing?” Amie backs away from me as if I’m a grenade missing the pin.
I stay where I am, hoping I can calm her. “I think we need to talk.”
“I don’t think we should be alone together right now.” She looks around. “Especially not with a—” She gestures to the king bed to the right.
“Worried you’re going to end up naked?”
Her mouth drops, and she props her fist on her hip. “No!” Her irritation is more entertaining than it should be.
“Good to know you have some self-control.” There’s no sarcasm, just bitterness. I’m angry at the way she ran off the last time I saw her, and the way she’s ignored me all night tonight.
She purses her lips, color rising in her cheeks. “Why would you tell your father I helped you with the spa menu?”
“Because you did.”
“I thought we were supposed to keep what happened in Bora Bora between us.”
“I didn’t tell him we fucked each other, Amie. I told him you were helpful with spa service suggestions.”
“Well I didn’t tell Ruby about all the spa service help I gave you, so it’s going to make her more suspicious than she already is.”
“Why is she suspicious in the first place?”
“Because I’m not good at lying to her. It’s not something I’ve had to do before and I don’t know how to handle it. We shouldn’t be in here together. I shouldn’t be alone with you.”
She makes a move for the door but I’m faster, I step in front of it. She closes her eyes and exhales a frustrated breath. When they open again, fear makes them fiery.
I don’t understand what would create that emotion in her. “Amie, I’m not going to hurt you.”
She drops her head and barks a laugh. “No. You’re just going to lock me in a room with you against my will.”
I lean against the door and cross my arms over my chest. “You spent two weeks locked in a room with me and I didn’t hear any complaints then. Actually, all I heard were a lot of moans.”
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