“I'm working on it, believe me. I need to talk to you for a minute before I go. Can I come in?” I bounced from foot to foot.
He stepped back and let me in. “Certainly. What is it?”
I reached into a pocket and pulled out my flash drive. “Can you copy the files off this and keep a safe copy for me?”
“What is it?” he asked.
“Very important information. Research. I need an off-site backup, and I think you're the only one who might understand what's on it.” I thrust the drive toward him. “Please, Andreas. Copy it and take a look.”
He took the flash drive and turned away, walking toward the curtain in the back of his room. I followed him behind the curtain. He plugged the drive into an extension cable that snaked under the tabletop computer display. The display flickered, then showed a dialog that acknowledged the new device. The copy took only a couple of minutes, then he unplugged the drive and handed it back to me. “Is that all?” he asked.
I slipped the drive back into my pocket. This was a dangerous move. I knew what the Establishment had tried to do with the researcher at RPI. If similar research cropped up here, it would trace right back to me. It could also cost Andreas his life. “Yes and no. If you look into it, don't tell anyone. Anyone at all. It's dangerous. Believe me on that.”
“You are acting very strange, Kevin,” he said. “I will humor you, though. If it is as interesting as you seem to think it is, perhaps we will have something to talk about when you return next trimester.”
“Interesting doesn't even begin to describe it. I have to run, my dad will be back any minute now. I'll see you in January, have a good holiday!” I waved at Andreas and ducked around the partition before he could respond. My dad was already at my door as I entered the hallway, even earlier than I thought. The food he was carrying smelled great.
“Are you ready now?” he asked as I walked up to him.
“Yes. Let's get out of here,” I said.
By the third day back home, I wished that I had taken Absynthe up on her offer. Being home sucked. I watched every movie in my small collection, watched television for half the day, and tried to stay away from my old gaming computer. The temptation was always there. I pushed it aside and forced myself to use the laptop. I wanted to read up on some of the Establishment data, but the application refused to work without a connection to the campus network. I managed to pull a few of the documents out of the laptop's browser cache, but they weren't enough to keep me busy for more than a day.
My social life was non-existent. Ripley's classes ended just before Thanksgiving, but most other schools didn't get out until the middle of December. Most of my old friends weren't even home yet, and those few who had stayed in the area were all busy with finals. A few phone calls resulted in promises to meet up once they were done. Until then, I was bored.
The weeks passed slowly, but things did start to pick up the week before Christmas. Old friends returned home. We hung out. Some of my friends looked older. Some hadn't changed a bit. All of them were no longer a part of my life. After the second party turned awkward, I stopped going out. I was the one who had changed.
Two days before Christmas, my dad knocked on my door. I put down the book I had been reading and walked to my door. “You've got a visitor,” he said, then stepped aside. I hadn't been expecting anyone, least of all a smiling ghost from my past.
“Steph,” I said. I didn't know what else to say.
“Can I come in?” she asked. My dad had already vanished. Steph had spent lots of time in my room during our high school days. He knew her, he trusted her, and he trusted me with her. He didn't know what had happened between us. I had never told him, and apparently, he had never guessed.
I stepped back and let her in. She closed the door, then turned around and gave me a hug. “It's been a while. Did you get my letter?”
I returned the hug, a little stiffly. “I did. Sorry I didn't reply.”
“It's fine. I just wanted to see if you were all right.” She smiled, then walked over to my bed and sat down. “You don't seem like you've changed much at all.”
“You look a little different,” I said. Her hair was far shorter than it had been the last time I saw her, hanging loose just below her ears. She also looked like she was putting on some weight, probably the infamous freshman fifteen. She didn't look bad, just different. Just not like the Steph of my memories.
She reached up and fluffed her hair. “I know, I wanted to keep the long hair, but it's so hot out there in California. After I got it cut, I felt so much lighter. It still looks good, doesn't it?”
“Not as good as it used to,” I said.
Her laugh was hauntingly familiar. It reminded me of Nikki. “You've always been honest with me. Thanks. I'm going to grow it back out a little. Shoulder length, you think?”
“That would look good,” I said. “Steph, what are you doing here?”
“What do you mean? I wanted to check in on you.”
I shook my head. “Yes, but why did you come here? Why didn't you just call?”
She tilted her head to the side. She wasn't smiling anymore. “Because I didn't think you would have picked up the phone if you saw my number come up.”
“My dad would have.”
“And you would have made up an excuse to get off the phone as quickly as you could.”
I shrugged. “So you came here instead to make sure you could actually talk to me?”
“What's wrong, Kev?” She leaned forward and planted her hands on her knees. “We were best friends for years and years, and then you cut me off. I realize I hurt you, and I'm sorry, but it wouldn't have worked. But I wanted to stay friends. I still want to. At least I think I want to. What about you?”
“People change,” I said.
“What do you mean?”
I threw my arms out wide. “Haven't you talked with anyone else? All our old friends? Nick's married, he didn't even tell anyone! Tony dropped out of college, John and Will went and enlisted and they're shipping out next month. Lyssa spent four months backpacking across Europe. Lyssa! Can you imagine that?”
Steph covered her mouth and giggled. “Not at all.”
I had to laugh as well. “Not after being prom queen, right? She's nothing like what she used to be. Neither am I. Neither are you.”
“I'm not?” she asked.
“No, you're not. You look different. Hell, for a girl who was so intent on watching her weight back in high school, you look like you've been hitting the donuts pretty hard.” She blinked. “Either that or the booze. Is that a beer gut? I thought it was only guys who were supposed to get that.”
“It's not a beer gut,” she said. All the amusement in her voice vanished. “I don't drink.”
“You're missing out,” I said.
“No, I'm not. Not at all.” She rubbed her stomach. “It's not that I don't like drinking on occasion, Kev. It's that I can't. Doctor's orders.”
“Doctor's orders? What, do you have a family history of liver trouble or something?” I grinned at her. She didn't even crack a smile. “What? It's just a joke.”
She stopped rubbing her stomach and simply stared. “Kevin, I don't know if you're being this dense on purpose or not.”
I started to say something, then stopped. She wasn’t rubbing her stomach, she was rubbing a little lower. She was putting on weight. She couldn't drink.
I found that my jaw was hanging open. I closed it. “Steph. What?”
“About five months along,” she said.
“Pregnant.”
“That's right.” She smiled.
I had thought about having sex with Stephanie before. Rather often, as I got older. I had never said so, of course. She had never mentioned it during high school, and she didn’t hide much from me. Maybe that was one of the things she had. Who had been her first? Why couldn't it have been me? The sense of jealousy and outrage I felt was irrational. I had been the one to stop talking with her. If I hadn't, I probably w
ould have found out about this earlier. Maybe it would have been me.
“Kev?” Her voice broke me out of my reverie. “Are you all right?”
“You never told me,” I said.
“I didn't know when I wrote that letter,” she said. “You never did respond, I had no way to tell you. And, really, I didn't know how you'd take it. You look about as floored as Joel did when I told him.” She giggled again.
“Out,” I said.
“What?”
“Out. Get out.” I pointed at the door. My hand was shaking.
“I thought-”
“You thought wrong,” I said. I couldn't look her in the eye anymore. Jealousy and anger swirled together inside me. It took conscious effort to keep from tapping into my power. To do what with it? There wasn't anything I could do. “I told you. People change. I don't care. I don't know why you wanted to come here and hurt me like this.”
She stood up and walked over to me. “I didn't mean to hurt you, Kev. You were my friend. I thought you'd be happy. You knew I wanted to have kids.”
“I thought you'd at least be smart enough to finish school first. Getting knocked up before getting your degree and getting your own shit together? Didn't you have a goal in life? Did you think about that? Did you think about how you're fucking up three lives with this?”
Her eyes widened and she tried to slap me, but I caught her hand before she could land it. My jaw had received enough abuse recently. She yanked her hand free and took a step toward the door. “I was wrong. You have changed. You're an asshole.”
“Funny how often I hear that lately,” I said. “But you decided to come here and rub this in anyways. What does that make you?”
She opened my door and looked at me just before she walked out. Her eyes were watery. “Guilty of caring too much.”
The door slammed shut behind her, and after a moment, I heard a murmur of conversation from the front of the house, then the front door opened and closed. I wondered what she had told my dad. I wished she had called to break that sort of news. At least that way, I could have just hung up on her, just as she thought I would.
I wanted to talk to someone, but I couldn’t talk to any of my old friends. I had Nikki’s number, but it wasn't likely that she'd listen to me. We’d just end up fighting. Max and Drew wouldn't get it at all. Lisa would have some sort of sympathy for the situation, but I didn't have her number. Jess would only laugh at me. I did have one phone number floating in my head, though. Star. The area code was from New York City. That didn't mean she was there, just that she had a phone from there. She could be anywhere. I could still try it.
I got up off my bed and reached for my phone, then paused. If the Establishment suspected me, they could tap the phone. They might not even have to do that, they'd just need to pull the records. They might already be watching them. I had no reason to call a number leading to New York City. From what Absynthe had told me, they had bought my story, but there was no reason to make them suspicious.
I searched my memory of the neighborhood, trying to remember where the nearest pay phone was, hoping that it was still functional. The gas station a couple of blocks away probably had one. I looked through my wallet's change pocket and pulled out a dollar's worth of quarters, then dug into one of my suitcases. There was a roll of quarters in there for laundry money. I had only used half of it. It was a waste of money, but it was the only way I could be reasonably assured of privacy.
Pocket jingling, I left my room and headed for the front door. My dad looked up as I passed the living room. His expression was not friendly. “What are you doing?” he asked.
“Taking a walk,” I said.
His eyes narrowed, then he returned his attention to the television. He had probably spoken to Steph before she left. He knew I had made her cry, and he was old fashioned enough that making a girl cry was an unforgivable sin. Living here with him was always awkward. I needed to leave before it got any worse. Without another word to him, I fled.
The pay phone still worked. The rate was hideous, but I had enough for a few minutes. I fed in enough quarters to start the call, dialed Star's number, and hoped that she was there. It rang three times before someone picked up. “This is Sarah, who's this?”
“Sarah?” I asked. “Sorry, I think I have the wrong-”
“No no no! Kevin!” It was her voice. “You remembered!”
“It would be hard to forget,” I said. “How are you?”
“I'm fine. How are you? You survived! Did you get in trouble?” Her voice was excited and she sounded breathless, like she had rushed to the phone.
“I'm not in trouble,” I said. “I just blamed everything on you.”
She gasped. “How dare you!”
“I'm sorry!”
“I'm just kidding. As long as you stay out of trouble, it's all good. It's not like they can punish me unless they catch me.” She laughed and I smiled. Her laugh was like no one else's, even over a terrible phone connection. “So what's going on? Where are you? Caller ID doesn't recognize this number. It's not a New York area code, that's for sure.”
“I'm at a pay phone,” I explained. “While I'm not in trouble, I don't want to give them any reason to dig deeper into what happened that night.”
“You're paranoid! Really, seriously, paranoid!” She laughed again. “That's terrific. You learn so fast. I didn't think that pay phones still existed these days. Now, Kevin, tell me what happened with that Shade guy. Did you kill him?”
“No.” I took a deep breath. “That power you talked about?”
“Second tier?”
I fed a quarter into the phone. “I think I used it. I dodged everything. He couldn't touch me. Then I twisted him with that same power. I made his abilities feed back on themselves. Anything he does to try to get out of it will only make it worse. I think. I passed out right afterwards. He hurt me pretty badly.”
“Shit, Kevin. Shit! Are you all right? They healed you, right?”
I looked at my right wrist. It hadn't been sore in a week. “They healed me. I was sore for a while, but I'm better now. Not quite in top condition. I haven't been able to practice since I came home. They don't want me to attract attention.”
“Or they want you to be rusty when you come back,” she suggested. “Paranoia, Kevin!”
“I hadn't thought of that,” I said. “Hey, Star.”
“Hey, Kevin?”
“I want to ask you something.”
“Oh?” I could hear her smiling. “I'm wearing a towel. Just a towel.”
I pushed that mental image aside and fed another quarter to the phone. “That's not the question I was going to ask.”
“You're no fun at all. What's up?”
“I just ran into my old crush from high school. She was my best friend and I fell for her. Hard. I asked her out when we were going to community college here together.”
“What did she say?”
“She turned me down. I didn't talk to her again. Stopped going to school. Didn't answer her e-mails or messages. Left for Ripley after that.”
“You ran away because she hurt you.”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“And you just ran into her? Did you find out that she wants you back now? She doesn't want to live with that sort of regret?” she asked.
“Not even close.”
“What happened, then?”
I closed my eyes before I responded. “She's pregnant.”
“Oh. That's got to be a kick to the balls,” she said. “People change a lot, even in just a year, don't they? You don't know them anymore. I've never had anything quite like that happen to me, but you know, I can see why it'd hurt. I'm sorry, Kevin. I wish I could be there for you.”
“It's like I'm not even home anymore,” I said. “This is the place where I grew up. There's a lot of memories here. But it all seems so long ago. I think I'm the one who changed while everything else stayed the same. Does that sound right?”
“It sounds right to me,
” she said. “Hey, Kevin?”
The phone begged for another quarter. I obliged. “Hey, Star? Or is it Sarah?”
She giggled. “Whichever you like. I was wondering if you'd like to visit. I think you need to get away from that place. A vacation from your vacation.”
“I think I do too, but I can't leave until after Christmas,” I said. “That's going to be an awkward day. Just my dad and I, and he's pissed at me. Maybe my mom for a few minutes, if she's in the area. Where are you? New York City?”
“That's right,” she said. “I've got a nice little apartment here.”
“Isn't it dangerous to be in the city?” I asked. It was Establishment territory.
“There are so many people like us here, it's next to impossible to track any single person down unless you're willing to advertise that search to the city at large. It's probably the safest place in the world for us. Aside from the past few months, at least.” She paused before continuing. “Won't you come see me, Kevin? Even if it's just for a day or two?”
I thought about it. “Well, if I leave on the day after Christmas, I could spend about a week there, then go directly back to school the day after New Year's.”
She whistled into the phone, causing a burst of static. I winced. “You really do want to get away, don't you?”
“I'm not asking for too much, am I?”
“Kevin, are you seriously asking me if I'm going to mind having you in my little apartment for a week? Seriously?”
The phone beeped again. I had plenty of quarters left, so I added another. “I'm serious.”
“So am I,” she said. “You're welcome to come here right now, right this minute. Are you sure you want to stay there another three days? I promise you, I'll have a Christmas present for you. A very nice present that you'll really enjoy unwrapping.”
“I'm sure you'd look wonderful wearing nothing but a ribbon.”
“You're a mind reader. Are you psychic or something?” She laughed, then her tone turned a little softer. “You're not going to come here for Christmas, are you?”
The Fire In My Eyes Page 37