She took her time walking to Professor Kapur’s class. When she got there, she tried not cry when she saw Trisha sitting in the front row. The seat next to her was taken.
“Ooo, trouble in paradise,” someone said.
“Shut up, shut up.” Professor Kapur shut the mutters and the laughter down as he closed the door. Alexis didn’t have time to soak in how stupid she felt because he got right to his lecture.
When he dismissed class, Trisha was out the door like a bullet. She was wearing massively tall heels, but she was booking it, taking these brisk little steps that had her out of the room before Alexis could even pack up her stuff. She didn’t make the conscious decision to chase Trisha, but she did rush after her, saying her name until Trisha finally turned around.
“We are not going to make this a big deal,” Trisha said between her teeth as she grabbed Alexis’s hand. “Let’s go.”
Alexis let Trisha tug her to the parking structure. They didn’t head up to her car. Instead Trisha pulled her to a little corner between a concrete wall and a tall shrub. Alexis could have sworn Trisha’s eyes were glowing red when she spun on her.
“Okay. What do you want?”
“I—I want to talk to you. About us,” Alexis said.
“I don’t want to be with you anymore. Anymore questions?”
“Can you at least tell me why? I know what happened with Cinta was crazy, but—”
“God! I’m not mad about your sister’s drunk friend.” Trisha let out a deep sigh and clenched her fists at her side. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, but when she opened them, she refused to look Alexis in the eye. She’d never seen Trish this angry before. “That chick was saying all of this crazy stuff, and you wouldn’t even look at me. Your dad tells me to kick rocks, and you wouldn’t even look at me. Then”—that’s when she looked up—“you text me and call me like a hundred times, and it’s like you don’t even know what you’re apologizing for.”
“I’m sorry Cinta told my parents about you, and I’m sorry my dad told you to leave.”
“That’s not why I’m mad! You knew my mom for three seconds, and you gave her this whole speech about how much you care about me and how much you just want to spend time with me and just be a great friend to me. And then when the shit really goes down, you’re just standing there looking at pie crust.”
“I—I didn’t know what to say.”
“I know. You didn’t know to speak up for me. Or shit, you didn’t even think it was time to stick up for yourself. It just occurred to me that you are only going to nut up when you feel comfortable, but my life isn’t comfortable like yours, and I need to be with someone who can handle shit when it doesn’t come on a perfect platter. I want to be with someone who will stick up for me. I’m a really great stripper. And Cinta was right, I am fine as hell, but I’m fucking human, Lex. I have feelings, and when my girlfriend who claims to care about me so much can’t say a peep in my defense, then maybe she’s not the girlfriend for me. So are we done here?”
Alexis had nothing to say. Trisha was right. She was embarrassed about Cinta making an ass out of everyone and saying those things about the both of them, but she had kept quiet because she’d been afraid of what her dad would say if she’d opened her mouth. She’d been afraid of what conversation would really go on if she or Trisha had tried to explain why Trisha was a stripper and why she’d lied about it. And three days later, she still didn’t know what to say. Trisha deserved better.
“I’m sorry.” It was her pathetic attempt at a grovel.
“I know you are. I’ll see you later.”
Alexis knew better than to try and stop her again, so she let her walk away.
*
Alexis knew pain. She would never forget how much opening her wrist had hurt. The way her dad looked at her or said her name when he even bothered to talk to her was a daily slap in the face. But Alexis didn’t know shit about pain until Trisha cut her out of her life. Alexis thought about dropping Professor Kapur’s class, but she’d missed the deadline to reschedule courses, and she’d promised her mom she would take a full credit load. Trisha seemed to be handling things just fine, though. She showed up to class every other day, fresh and beautiful, smiling and making small talk with her new desk mate, some Asian guy who seemed to have found his home in hip-hop culture. Alexis was a little jealous, even though she knew nothing was going on between them.
She sat there every other day trying to pay attention but really just staring at the back of Trisha’s head, thinking about how much she missed her, how much she just wanted to touch her again, be close to her again. This was not a pain she was ready for.
This went on for two weeks. Two weeks of crying, sulking, and trying not to abuse the fact that she still had Trisha’s number in her cell. Something told her that blowing up your ex’s phone with OMGPLEASETAKEMEBACK texts was a bad move. Things were worse than before at home. Her mom was on twenty-four-hour suicide watch, checking in with Alexis every five seconds to make sure she wasn’t going to flip out again.
Alexis hadn’t imagined things being shittier with her dad, but they were. He hated that she was crying all the time. He hated it when he could tell that she had been crying or that she was thinking about crying. He avoided her as much as he could, mumbling every time he left the room that she needed to pull it together and grow up.
The only good thing that came out of it was Sasha ending her friendship with Cinta. She’d told her to apologize to Alexis and her parents for the way she’d acted and for vomiting all over their rug, but when Cinta hesitated, making excuses for the way she’d behaved—her job, her family—Sasha realized that she was about to take back someone who was completely fine being a huge pain in the ass to her family and hurting her little sister on a pretty regular basis. When Sasha called and relayed the story, Alexis finally understood how Trisha felt. She couldn’t honestly expect Alexis to be there for her if Alexis wasn’t there for herself. And then she felt like a really big asshole.
It was a Tuesday when Alexis sort of snapped. Sasha and Michael had come over for dinner, and Alexis sat there all night looking at them, looking at her parents, and thinking to herself that if she kept going this way, she was going to end up alone. And the thought wasn’t even her being overdramatic. She was always going to be gay, and her dad was never going to approve of that. And even though her mom seemed to be coming to terms with her gayness, Alexis would never date anyone that her mom picked out for her. So that left Alexis with a girl of her choice, forever slinking around and avoiding her family. Or it left Alexis alone.
She lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling, and she realized that that wasn’t okay. She got up and went to her parents’ bedroom. They were both still awake watching TV when she knocked on the door. Her mom told her to come in.
“Hey, honey. What’s going on?” Her dad didn’t say anything. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headboard. Alexis sat on the edge of the bed beside her mom. She figured she could ignore her dad, too.
“Did you like Trisha?” she asked her mom. “Because I liked her a lot, and she dumped me because she knew I wouldn’t fight you and Dad to be with her.”
Her father cracked an eye open and lifted his head. “Is her stripping job going to pay your tuition, too?”
Her mom shot him a glare then took Alexis’s hand. “I did like Trisha. She was very sweet.”
“Good, because I want her back if she’ll take me back. I want to keep spending time with her. And sometimes I might visit her at the strip club, and sometimes I’m going to babysit with her, and I’m not going to stop doing those things because you and Dad don’t like it. I can’t stop doing any particular thing just because you and Dad don’t like it.”
“I know, honey.” And now her mom was crying. This wasn’t what she was going for.
“Mom?”
“I just want things to be easy for you. That’s all. We want things to be easier for you, and that will be hard. Trisha co
mes from a different kind of family. She lives a different kind of life, and if you’re with her, it’s going to change things for you and not for the better.”
“But even you saw how happy I was with her. Dad saw it, too. How is that not better? How is anything that makes me happy not better? Should I start playing sports again? Should I beg Kami and her friends to include me more so I can hang out with the college cool kids? Should I go to Stanford and study medicine even though I don’t want to at all? Tell me about this easy life you want for me because all the things that were so easy about my life before made me want to end it.”
Her dad grumbled something, but Alexis couldn’t hear. “What?”
He sat up all the way and finally looked at Alexis. He cleared his throat. “You have a point, I said. I’m not sure if you’re thinking I’m going to tell you to date this girl, because I think you can do better. I think you still need to figure out a few things.” His way of saying she was going through a lesbian phase. “But you were happier when you were spending time with her. I saw it. Your mother saw it. Even Michael and Sasha said something to me about it. So, yes, I would prefer you were happy.”
The next part just came out of her mouth. “Thanks, Dad, but I didn’t come here for your permission. I’m going to try and get Trisha back. I just wanted to see if she’s welcome in your house if she takes me back.”
“I’m glad it’s still my house.” Her dad closed his eyes and checked out of the conversation, but her mom actually laughed a little. She pulled Alexis closer and wrapped her in her arms.
“Yes, honey. Trisha is allowed in the house any time.”
Alexis hugged her mom tighter. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start.
*
Trisha had too much laundry and reading to do. She’d lugged her crap into the Laundromat, changed out of the jeans and the T-shirt she’d spilled soda on on the way over, and set up her little study center on the counter, but she couldn’t get her mind right. She kept looking at her phone. Her fingers were itching to text or call Alexis, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t let herself do it. She was going to ask for some time off from work. Maybe she could convince Quanisha to come with her, and they could drive down to San Diego for a few days or maybe up to Vegas for a couple nights. Now that the kids were squared away until Halloween, she had more extra cash to spare, and she needed a break. She needed some good times.
Breaking up with Alexis had been the right thing to do, but she still felt so shitty about it. Even after explaining to everyone in her life why Alexis hadn’t been coming around, she still felt crappy, especially after she told her mom. She didn’t go for the full on I told you so, but the look she gave Trisha pretty much said it all. Alexis couldn’t hack it, and the Chambers family were not their kind of folk. Yeah, it was for the best. Too bad she still had to see Alexis at school.
Sitting in the front of the room made things easier. That way she didn’t have to spend an hour looking at the back of Alexis’s head, thinking about how badly she still wanted to get in her pants. It was good they only had that one class together, otherwise Trisha would have had to transfer. She tried to shake off the thought and dig back into her math notes. She’d read the same sentence so many times, she’d barely scratched the surface of her assignment when her first dryer load finished.
She’d just dumped all her blues into the laundry basket when she heard the sound of violin music coming from the doorway. Trisha froze. There was no way.
Slowly, she turned around, and her fears were confirmed. The only way live violin music would be playing in this shit-hole Laundromat was if someone like Alexis had come through to put on a show. It was her in all her baby-butch glory, hair pulled back, wearing a loose polo tee and baggy jeans. And that gorgeous instrument tucked under her chin. Once she knew she had everyone’s attention, she made her way across the room, stopping right beside the open dryer door. Of course Trisha was standing there in her pajama pants and her airbrushed T-shirt that said “Treasure,” instead of the cute outfit she’d worn earlier that day.
Trisha didn’t recognize the song Alexis was playing, but the sound of it was so sweet, so sincere, she had to force herself not to tear up. When Alexis finished, everyone in the place started clapping and cheering. A carefully tossed quarter bounced on the floor between them when some guy shouted, “Play another one!”
Trisha couldn’t keep her eyes off Alexis as she gently placed her violin on the counter then turned back to her.
“Can we talk?” Alexis asked.
“Yeah,” Trisha said, sounding choked up.
“Okay, okay.” Alexis looked at the ceiling and let out a shaky breath. “When I did this”—she held out her wrist, bracelet free and showed Trisha her scar—“I was an overscheduled overachiever. I was doing everything my parents wanted me to do. Everything. Perfect grades, three sports, every club, every activity. Everything Mom suggested, I did. Everything my dad thought was good for me, I did it. And I was miserable. I was unhappy about everything in my life. It wasn’t just about my parents. It was about school and life and who I am as a person. But after this”—she touched her wrist again—“I was forced to slow down, but I was still living and breathing to make my parents happy. And then I met you, and I knew I couldn’t be anyone other than myself with you. I couldn’t. And when I was with you, I was so, so happy. And I didn’t realize what that meant. I didn’t appreciate why. I didn’t realize how much I was taking you for granted. I really like having sex with you, Trisha. I won’t even lie about that.”
Trisha laughed. Alexis was so cute and so nervous she was shaking, but there was something disgustingly adorable about the way she even said the word “sex.”
“But I figured out why I like being around you so much. You’re my first real friend. I didn’t know what it was like to have a friend. I had teammates and kids in my class who I ate lunch with. But I didn’t have real friends.”
“Lexi—”
Alexis shook her head. “I was a shitty girlfriend and friend to you. You were completely right. I was thinking about how you were making me feel. I wasn’t thinking about you and how I was making you feel. I kept saying how you were too cool for Kami and her friends. You were too cool for me. I thought you were invincible and fearless. I thought you didn’t need me the way the way I needed you. And I’m so sorry.”
Trisha couldn’t fight her smile as she hopped up on the counter. She was so fucked. She was so about to take this girl back. Screw it if Alexis’s parents didn’t like her. “So what are you getting at, Chambers?”
“I think I love you, and I want to be your girlfriend, but I’m really hoping we can be friends again. I want to hang out again, and I need someone to study with. I’m figuring myself out a little, and I think I could use the practice at not being a selfish, self-pitying asshole.”
“You know, I don’t think you’ve ever said that many words in a row before.”
That’s when shy Alexis came back and offered up a shrug. “I just wanted to say that. I hope we can be friends again. I want to be there for you the way I should have been there for you the whole time.”
Trisha grabbed Alexis by the front of her pressed polo shirt and pulled her forward. “Of course we can be friends again.” And then she kissed her. She kissed her good, long and deep with a lot of tongue. She kissed her in a way that totally made her regret the fact that they were standing in a Laundromat and not at the foot of her bed. When she let Alexis go, she felt like she could breathe again.
“We can definitely be friends again. Friends who kiss a lot. Friends with benefits.”
Alexis reached up and touched her hair. Trisha almost sighed. She’d missed that so much.
“I thought you didn’t give it up for friends, though?”
“Then I guess we’ll have to be more than friends, but you can’t forget, okay? I’m tough, but I’m more.”
Alexis nodded. “I know. You’re so much more. I’ll never forget.”
“Good.” Trish
a wrapped her legs around Alexis’s butt and pulled her closer. Alexis’s hands went right to her waist, right where they belonged. “How did you know I was here?”
“It’s Wednesday. Laundry day.”
“Well, I’m glad you remembered because the harness I wanted to surprise you with came in the mail yesterday, and I had no one to use it with.”
“Lucky for us, I have a very good memory.”
THE END
About the Author
After years of meddling in her friends’ love lives, Rebekah turned to writing romance as a means to surviving a stressful professional life. She has worked in various positions from library assistant, meter maid, middle school teacher, B movie production assistant, reality show crew chauffeur, D movie producer, and her most fulfilling job to date, lube and harness specialist at an erotic boutique in West Hollywood.
Her interests include Wonder Woman collectibles, cookies, James Taylor, quality hip-hop, football, American muscle cars, large breed dogs, and the ocean. When she's not working, writing, reading, or sleeping, she is watching Ken Burns documentaries and cartoons or taking dance classes. If given the chance, she will cheat at UNO. She was raised in Southern New Hampshire and now lives in Southern California with an individual who is much more tech savvy than she ever will be.
You can find Rebekah at www.rebekahweatherspoon.com
Books Available From Bold Strokes Books
Because of You by Julie Cannon. What would you do for the woman you were forced to leave behind? (978-1-62639-199-4)
The Job by Jove Belle. Sera always dreamed that she would one day reunite with Tor. She just didn’t think it would involve terrorists, firearms, and hostages. (978-1-62639-200-7)
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