Six
As they got in the cart to return to Brandon's house Jill decided that she was going to stay behind and fetch some supplies to make a special dinner for them all. Brandon tried to tell her that it wasn't necessary but she insisted, for she had an ulterior motive. If she was going to be entrusting her and Jim's lives to this man then she wanted to know more about him, and something about his story didn't ring true. Why was he not beloved by the people in the town when he had given them so much? There must have been something more to him and she was determined to find out exactly what it was, so she planned to ask people around town about Brandon when she had the opportunity to be by herself. And so it was that once she helped Jim up onto the cart she kissed him on the cheek and lightly squeezed his hand, and left the two men.
Brandon made sure that Jim was safe along the bumpy cart ride. He still seemed groggy, and there were few words spoken between them. As he had done with Jill the previous day, Brandon showed Jim around the home and offered him a warm bath (although the doctor had taken it upon himself to bathe Jim) and a little bite to eat, as well as some new clothes. This time Brandon offered them from his own wardrobe as he and Jim were of a similar size. Upon seeing the fine garments Jim had much the same reaction as Jill, and instantly handed them back.
“I can't take these, they're too good for a ranch hand like me,” he said.
“Nonsense, they're a gift from me. You've lost a lot and it's only fair that you have a little helping hand. Once you get settled you can by your own clothes.” Jim still looked undecided, so Brandon added, “Besides, you surely can't go around wearing those rags. They'll start to stink the place up.” At this Jim smiled. It was the first time Brandon had seen Jim smile, and indeed the first time he had seen the man properly as well. Although both he and Jill were much younger than Brandon they had lived a harder life, and this was etched on their faces. Jim's eyes were a sparkling blue and he had a thick head of black hair that swept across his forehead like the wind through a valley. He was strong, with muscles that had been honed after a lifetime of work on the land, but sadness hung around his eyes, and his shoulders had been rounded by all that had happened. Brandon found himself wanted to heal their pain, and show them that there was still something worth living for.
Although it was early in the morning Brandon poured each of them a shot of whiskey and they clinked their glasses, both of them reveling in the forbidden act of drinking, when they both had a sense that Jill would disapprove.
“I have to admit that I admire the way you've handled this whole situation,” Brandon said. Jim scoffed.
“I don't know about that. I got thrown from a horse and only survived by the grace of God.”
“From the way Jill speaks she doesn't have much love for the Lord.”
“Well, given what happened I can't exactly blame. Have to admit that when I get to those pearly gates I'll have a few words to say to him myself. What about you Mr. Grayson? Are you a God-fearing man?”
“There's not much I'm scared of in the world, but I think a man has to make his own destiny. I don't like the thought that all of my life, all of my decisions have been made for me.”
“Did Jill tell you what happened to us?”
“She mentioned a fire spread through your house, said it took hold and swept through and destroyed everything before either of you had a chance to stop it.”
Jim nodded slowly.
“And then there's this,” Brandon added, pulling out the picture. “I took it from your wagon that toppled over. Tried to give it to Jill but she didn't want it, thought you might.” He handed it to Jim, who smiled when he saw the picture.
“This was taken on his first birthday. Jill wanted to make it special for him.”
“What was his name?”
“Lucas. Named him after my father. He was a good kid. Always smiled. Jill can't talk about him now. To be honest, I don't much like it either.”
“I'm sorry to bring it up.”
Jim idly waved a hand. “It's okay, like I said, I owe you my life. If I can't talk about this with you then I guess I'm not going to be able to talk about it with anyone for the rest of my life, can I tell you something?”
“Sure thing,” Brandon said.
“When I was lying there, drifting between death and life, I could see him calling to me and he asked me not to forget him. Ever since it happened...ever since we lost him I tried to push it away and not think about it because the pain was just too much. Jill she...she wanted to talk about it sometimes but I always had my eyes locked on the future. As far as I was concerned we had to leave everything behind, but when I had that vision I knew that I was doing Lucas a disservice. I can't forget him.” He smiled at the picture and held it close to his chest, closing his eyes momentarily. “Thank you for saving this picture as well.”
“I only wish your wife felt the same way.”
“She'll come around, she just needs more time. She spent almost all her time with Lucas. I was out in the field working. She was the one teaching him, the one feeding him, hell, sometimes I even felt a little jealous of him because she loved him more than she ever did me.”
“I'm sure that's not true.”
“No, you'll understand if you ever have kids yourself Mr....Brandon. They change your life, but what's worse is losing them. I feel empty inside, hollow, like somebody reached in and stripped away everything inside me. Where you see colors I just see shades of gray.” He drained the last drops of whiskey in his glass, wincing as the sharp, golden liquid trickled down his throat. “I don't know what you put in this stuff but I've never talked to anyone like this.”
“It's okay Jim, you can talk to me about anything. I want to be your friend, your close friend.” As Brandon said this he stepped forward and placed a hand on Jim's arm, then looked at him directly in the eyes. For a moment the two of them were connected and their hearts beat to the same rhythm. A sharp bolt of emotion passed through them both, until Jim coughed and turned his face away, then moved back from Brandon.
It had been a risk for Brandon to move so early but there was a vulnerability about Jim that he simply couldn't resist, something in this cowboy that Brandon recognized as being in himself from a young age. They were kindred souls, each of them were missing something, and Brandon was sure that the three of them had been brought together for a reason and that perhaps, finally, after all this time he could be happy. Knowing that Jim was most likely feeling unsure Brandon made a joke to lighten the mood, and spoke about Silvercreek in general terms, telling Jim about the industry of the town while they waited for Jill to return.
*
Meanwhile, as soon as the men had departed Jill turned away from the cart and was determined to explore the town herself. At first, as she walked around, people eyed her suspiciously and it took a few moments for her to get used to being a stranger. There were a number of buildings that she could have entered. They had spent about half an hour with the doctor, and now the town had woken fully and it was in full swing, although it was still a small town with a limited population so there weren't as many people as there would have been in Red Rock. Memories of home quickly flashed through her mind and she began to compare Red Rock to Silvercreek, and started to miss home. It was strange to not be greeted with smiles, and to not be able to say hello and have a friendly conversation. She tried to smile at various people but most of them sneered, and if they did return the gesture their eyes were devoid of any real emotion. Building a town like this was a laudable goal, and it impressed her that Brandon would go to such lengths to create a town out of nothing, but it seemed to be lacking the sense of community that she enjoyed about Red Rock. There was more to a town than just people living and working together. A community spirit was essential as well, and so far Jill had seen little evidence that any existed at least, not one that was conducive to welcoming outsiders.
Deciding to go into the general store, she noticed two women at the counter abruptly stopped talking when she entere
d. She stared at them for a few moments but decided not to confront them. She walked through the store and picked up a few items to make dinner, straining to overhear the conversation at the front of the store, but evidently they were not going to continue talking about whatever they had been speaking of when Jill entered, and she had a feeling that they had been talking about her. She had only been gossiped about once before, when word had gotten out that she and Jim were courting. A number of people had opinions about whether it was proper or not for the daughter of a schoolteacher to be with the son of a ranch hand. Back then she didn't like it, and she didn't like the thought of it now either. They knew nothing of her or her life, but they did know Brandon, and it was people like them that she would have to talk to if she was going to learn more about him.
Jill went up to the counter with her goods, noticing the way that the clerk looked at her. The woman behind the counter was an old soul with gray hair that was pulled back into a tight bun. Her eyes were cloudy and her skin wrinkled. She had a hump on her back and her shoulders were round. Her fingers were gnarled and long, and she examined Jill carefully when the young woman came up to the counter. For a few moments there were no words said between them, so Jill had to force the conversation forward.
“Were you talking about me?” she asked. Normally she wasn't so blunt, especially with strangers, but her mother had taught her that on occasion getting straight to the heart of the matter was often the best way to deal with awkward situations. In this case it did take the clerk aback, then a sly smile spread across her lips.
“You're quite outspoken for a stranger. Don't you know it's often better to introduce yourself properly in a new town so people can get to know you?”
“Unfortunately this town doesn't seem that friendly so far,” Jill said icily.
“Maybe that's because of the company you keep.”
“What's wrong with the company I keep? Far as I can tell everyone in this town owes their livelihoods to Brandon. He built this place for you and you all came here.”
The old woman cackled with laughter. “He built this place for the sake of his own ego, nothing more and nothing less. The people here, the people who slave in the mines, they're the ones who really make this town. Without them it would just be a collection of buildings and there would be no pride, not that Brandon would have you believe that. He wants the love of everyone, but has he been down into the mines? Of course not? Has he actually done anything aside from pump money into this town at the very beginning? No. And he still lives in the lap of luxury while the rest of us are down here trying to eke out a living.”
“Why did you come here then, if you knew that it was going to be so hard?”
The old clerk shrugged. “Guess we all thought that it was better to risk all we had for the chance of something new rather than stay with our old lives. Must have been the same with you. I saw you coming in with that wounded man. He your husband?”
“Yes. We had an accident out in the desert. Brandon found us and saved us.”
“Just be careful with him, that's all I'll say.”
“What do you mean? If you're going to speak ill of the man that saved my life then you'd better be plain about it. I'm not one for double-talk or innuendos. From what I've seen so far Brandon is a gentleman. He helped me and my husband when he didn't need to, and he has my gratitude for that. He welcomed us into his home with a smile and open arms, unlike the rest of you in this town who have only looked at me with curiosity, and have no doubt speculated about the circumstances of my life while you've been whittling away the hours.”
“Then I'll speak plainly,” the old crone said, narrowing her cloudy eyes, her thin, wrinkled lips moving slowly. “Brandon Grayson is a complicated man. You may have noticed that he lives alone in that house. Many young men and women have been led astray by his sweet words, and then they have to leave town because of the shame. No doubt he told you that he built this town as some kind of way to provide a paradise to people, or to leave a legacy to the world, the truth is that nowhere else will have him at lease, not once they find out what he's truly like. You should make it a point to read the original town charter. There were a few special clauses that Brandon inserted to make sure that he was protected. This is just a place where he can indulge his depraved desires, nothing more, nothing less. You seem like a sweet girl, and I can understand why you think what you do, but trust me, there's more to him than you'd like to think.”
“There's more to me too, and I'd like for you and everyone else not to judge me or my husband based on the company we keep. So far I haven't seen anything that suggests Brandon is like what you say, and I'll form my own opinions. I'd like to be on good terms with the people of the town but perhaps you should look at yourselves before you cast dispersion on others. No man is without sin and I very much doubt that Brandon is as bad as you say.”
“Think what you like, it's no skin off my nose, but don't say I didn't warn you.”
Jill collected her items and threw some money down on the counter, then left the store in a huff. She didn't appreciate being spoken to in that manner and neither did she like the way the old lady spoke about Brandon, whom she now considered a friend. Yet if there was truth to what the old lady said then Jill thought that it was perhaps in her best interests to find out, because if she was going to be under the care of Brandon then these things would soon come to the fore. However, Brandon had been so charming and so kind that it was difficult to think ill of him. Then again, there had been the incident in the bath. She knew that Brandon had been watching her, but why didn't it upset her? Instead she felt something she had not felt in the longest time, not since before the fire, before her son had been taken from her, but that only brought with it more mixed feelings and she knew that at that moment what she wanted more than anything was to be with her husband again.
Seven
Jill returned to Brandon's house to find the two men lost in a haze of whiskey. They slurred their words and greeted her cheerily, which didn't make Jill feel any better. She rolled her eyes and made her way to the kitchen where she prepared a meal, but first she made some coffee to try and sober the two men up. As she came in her eyes caught Brandon's and in that moment there passed between them a strange feeling, and it was as if something had been awakened inside her, but she thought back to what the old store clerk had said about Brandon leading young people astray. There was a small burst of fright inside her but she also found herself intrigued by the possibilities. For so long she had lived a quiet life in Red Rock and she had behaved properly, as she was supposed to, living up to all the ideals her mother had instilled in her, yet where had that gotten her? She had lost everything, so perhaps it was time to listen to something else.
As she was cooking Brandon came into the kitchen while Jim rested.
“How was town? Did you get to talk to any of the locals?” he asked. She was chopping some vegetables, and her head was bowed, although she felt his presence as he paced the floor behind her.
“Only a couple. They're not exactly the most talkative bunch. How is Jim doing?”
“You'd be surprised, when you find the right topic they can go for hours. Jim is fine, we spent the morning getting to know each other. He's a good man. I can see why you fell in love with him. He's looking forward to spending some time with you properly. He was also telling me about Lucas.” Brandon moved forward and placed his hand on the small of Jill's back, but the touch took her by surprised and she reeled away so abruptly that the knife spun out of her hands and clattered on the counter.
“You fool! I could have hurt myself,” she yelled, and turned away from him.
“I'm sorry,” Brandon said, immediately stepping back.
“You have no right to say his name. Nobody does! You don't know me, you don't know us. Don't pretend like you really care, you just want us around because you're bored and lonely.”
“Jill, don't say that! I do care.”
“Why? Why do you care so much? Is i
t just because it's some ego boost for you to have people like us coming in. I heard the stories about you, about how you have different desires to everyone else.” The immediate emotions that seized her were a mixture of anger and grief, and they were so overwhelming it was as though she was a different person and gave voice to things that she otherwise would never have said. But as the words left her mouth Brandon's lips pursed and his eyes flashed with frustration. He spoke in a low voice.
Shifters in the Shadows Page 27