by Diane Leyne
She carried Otis downstairs and was touched to find that the brothers had organized her breakfast. There was bread in the toaster, she just had to push the lever down, and there was a plate of fresh fruit and some cheeses. Coffee was percolating on the counter. There was fresh food and water in Otis’s dishes.
They really were good men.
Chapter Ten
Lena pulled up in front of her clinic just after eleven. Part of her was relieved not to see Alex’s truck. Another part of her worried that he wasn’t going to come after all. She decided to concentrate on getting the place ready. Remembering how the smell had triggered his fear last time, she got a bucket with some soapy water and washed down the floor of the X-ray room. Then she laid out the VapoRub, ear plugs and a makeshift blindfold in the bathroom along with the throw that he’d used last time to protect his modesty.
And then she waited.
At five minutes to twelve, she heard him pull up into the parking spot beside her SUV. At exactly noon, he knocked on the door. She hurried forward to let him in and then locked the door behind him so they would have no unexpected visitors.
She turned toward him and then froze at his expression. He looked grim and a little sad. She’d expected anger for some reason.
“I’m sorry about this morning.”
“Nothing to be sorry about.” Alex reached out and touched her cheek gently. “You weren’t expecting me, and even if you were, there’s no reason for you to kick my brothers out of your bed. Your relationship with them is your relationship with them. We’ve barely seen each other in a decade. I expected you to have moved on. I just wish it was in my power to turn over the Alpha mantle to Joe so you could have a mating ceremony with them. It’s clear you love them, and they are both one hundred percent crazy about you. The three of you should be together. I gave up my right to be a part of your life many years ago.
“Now, shall I change in the bathroom again? I promise not to puke this time.”
She watched him close the bathroom door and realized she was shaking. For years, she’d wished there was a way for just what he’d said to happen so she and Will and Joe could be mated, but now that he’d said it out loud, she found that a denial had leapt to her lips, and she was grateful he’d gone to change before the words popped out of her mouth.
She needed time alone to process what she was feeling. She’d hated Alex for years, blaming him for leaving the way he did, putting himself at risk and abandoning her. She wanted him punished. She wanted him to crawl back and beg her forgiveness. She wanted him to suffer, but not like this. He’d come back broken in body and spirit, and she found that much of her anger had seeped away, leaving only sadness and maybe a little love and desire.
She checked her watch. He’d been in there five minutes. She walked over and knocked on the door.
“You okay in there.”
“No.”
She opened the door. Luckily he hadn’t locked it. He was sitting on the toilet, his clothes again piled neatly on the counter and his torso wrapped in the throw. His head was bent down between his legs, and he was shaking.
“Alex!”
He looked up and she could finally see his face. It wasn’t a panic attack like yesterday. His expression was different. It was fearful and hopeful. He reached out to Lena, and she took his hands in hers.
“Do you really think your friend can help me?”
“I do. I think there’s an excellent chance that he can fix your problem. At minimum, he can take away the pain. He told me so.” She looked down and saw the tears welling up in his eyes. She knelt in front of him, looking up at him.
“You have to be strong. We’re going back out there and into the same room where I did the X-rays last time. You can do it. We’ll get through it together. And then you are coming home with me, and we are going to have a late lunch and catch up.”
“You don’t have to do that. Penelope’s is open.”
“Lex, I’m not going to subject you to the gawkers again. You are coming home with me, and that’s that.”
She tugged his arms so his body came forward and his face lowered toward her. Gently, she kissed his lips before pulling back and smiling.
“Now get that VapoRub applied and put those earplugs in so I can blindfold you again.” She grinned at him. “Now doesn’t that sound kind of kinky?”
“Yes, Mistress. Your wish is my command.” His words were humble, but his tone was teasing. He reached for the VapoRub and the ear plugs and let her blindfold him again.
She helped him to stand and then led him to the X-ray room. First she did the films Oliver had asked for of Alex’s leg in shifted form, and then she started on the human films. She rubbed his back when she was done and shouted into his ear that he should lie there while she checked the films.
When she went out to the other room, she realized that they weren’t alone in the clinic. She followed the sound and saw Moe, her best vet tech, and while he wasn’t of wolf blood himself, he knew about shape-shifters and was comfortable with them. She didn’t worry if he saw Alex.
“Hey, Moe. What are you doing here?”
“We were so busy yesterday that I figured I’d come in today and finish the charts. Otherwise I’ll just get involved with the new patients and never get up to date. And then I’m going to sterilize some equipment. I got behind. What are you doing here?”
“Doing some X-rays of Alex’s leg. I know an ortho guy in Oregon who might be able to help him. I’m just checking the films. They look good to me. I’m just going to e-mail them to Oliver, and then we’ll be on our way.”
“Good luck.”
She went back into the office and called the X-ray files up on the computer. Then she attached them to an e-mail and hit send. She was just logging off when she heard the sound of equipment falling, and then she heard Moe call out.
She ran back to the X-ray room and found Alex cowering in the corner, crouching down and drawing the throw around him with his left hand and holding something she couldn’t see in his right. He’d torn of the blindfold and was wild eyed, and he looked around the room as if he expected other people to jump out at him. She got closer and started talking softly, hoping he’d removed the earplugs.
“Alex, Alex, it’s me, Lena.”
She crouched lower and waited for him to notice her. He immediately swung around toward her, and she saw it was a scalpel in his hand.
“Do you want me to call someone?”
She turned to Moe, shushing him and motioning for him to leave the room. “No, I’m fine. Just please, wait outside, but don’t call anyone yet. Give me a chance to talk him down first.”
“Okay, but I’ll have the cell phone in my hand with 911 on speed dial and at the ready.”
She turned back to Alex.
“Lena?” Alex looked at her. “There’s someone else here. He snuck up on me when I was on the table.”
“It was just Moe, Alex. He didn’t know you had in the earplugs.”
“Moe?” He lowered the scalpel.
“Yes, you know Moe. He grew up in Harmony. He was a year behind you in school. I think you might have played football together.”
“Moe.” Comprehension dawned on his features. And then horror. “Oh my god, Moe. I didn’t hurt him, did I?”
“No, sweetie. I’m sure you didn’t. He looked fine when I sent him out.”
“Please check? Please.” She watched him lower his body until he was sitting down with his back pressed against the corner.
“I’ll be right back.”
She hustled out into the waiting room. Moe had been right at the door, and he stepped back to let her out.
“He’s okay now. You can go back to what you were doing.”
“What the hell happened?”
“Best I can figure, you startled him and he had some kind of PTSD flashback. He was wearing earplugs and a blindfold so he couldn’t see or hear what was going on. He even had VapoRub under his nose so he wouldn’t smell the medical
odors. He finds medical offices stressful.”
“And I couldn’t get his attention, so I thought he was sleeping. I shook his shoulder, and he jumped a foot and then started freaking out. Poor guy. He really came back damaged, didn’t he?”
“Yeah. I’ve got to get back to him. His clothes are in the bathroom. I’m going to get his clothes and help him get dressed. Then we are leaving. I’ll need you to check to make sure that there’s no one out there who can see us. I don’t want to have to stop to talk to anyone.”
“I’m your man.”
They waited, but Alex didn’t reappear. After five minutes, Lena knocked on the door and then entered. Alex was standing there, the wrap on the floor and his pants in his hands. His hands were shaking, and his expression confused.
“I’m sorry. I know how to do this, but…”
“But nothing.” She knelt and picked up the throw and wrapped it around him. “Hold this.” She folded his pants and added his T-shirt, cane and shoes to the pile before leading him out of the bathroom.
She gestured to Moe, who opened the front door and checked around before giving her the thumbs-up.
“My purse? It’s in my bottom left-hand drawer.”
Moe hurried to get it, and then he took Alex’s clothes and cane from her while she fished out her keys. She pressed a button and the SUV doors unlocked.
“I’ll put these inside. Give me a moment.” Moe hustled out and put Alex’s things in the backseat. Then he opened the passenger door, took another look around, and then opened the door, helping Lena and Alex down the steps. Alex tried to resist, but Lena was firm, and he was soon buckled securely in her passenger seat.
* * * *
Alex leaned back with his eyes closed. Talk about ultimate humiliation. He’d thought it was bad yesterday when he’d had a panic attack in front of the woman he loved. But today, attacking Moe and brandishing a scalpel set a new high or low, depending upon how one was measuring. She must think he was crazy. He wouldn’t blame her if she dumped him on his brothers’ doorstep and washed her hands of him.
He didn’t look up again until he felt her turning off the main road. He blinked when he saw that they were pulling into her driveway.
“You should take me home.”
“Shut up.”
“But…”
“I said shut up.” She pulled up beside the house and stopped. He moved to unbuckle his seat belt, but she barked out, “Stay.” He stayed, his breathing rapid and shallow. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to slow it down before he hyperventilated.
He opened his eyes when he heard the door open.
“Undo the belt and then step out carefully. It’s a bit rocky here, and you are barefoot.”
He followed her instructions to the letter.
“Lean against the door for a second.”
While he waited, she opened the back door and retrieved his clothes, shoes, and cane. Then she slammed the door shut. Walking by him with her arms full, she paused just long enough to hand him the cane before ordering him to stay again. He waited, watching her walk up the veranda steps and let herself into to the house. Otis tried to run out, but she stopped him.
A few minutes later, she was back. He moved slowly, leaning heavily on the cane and on Lena, making his way up the stairs and into the house. He expected Otis to come running and paused, looking around when they entered, but there was no sign of the little fur ball. Lena saw his puzzled expression.
“I locked him in the family room so he doesn’t trip you up. I’ll let him out in a little while. But first, let me get you settled on the couch, and then I’ll make lunch. Then we’ll talk.” She helped him ease down onto the couch and then headed toward the kitchen, pausing at the door.
“Pasta okay?”
“I don’t want you to go to any trouble.”
“Pasta okay?”
“Pasta would be great.”
* * * *
Lena bustled around the kitchen, putting water on to boil for the pasta before heading back into the living room to see what he’d like to drink. She figured Alex would probably prefer a beer, but all she had on hand was diet cola, water, and iced tea. When his brothers visited, if they wanted alcohol, they knew enough to bring their own.
She stopped abruptly when she realized that he was sleeping. He was on his right side, his face tucked into the cushions, his left arm thrown across his eyes, presumably to block the light from the picture window, the throw still around his hips. For a few minutes she watched the steady rise and fall of his chest before returning to the kitchen to turn off the water. Pasta could wait.
She’d planned to head to her den and do a little work but found herself drawn to his sleeping figure. The light shone directly on his back. When she’d examined him at her office, she’d concentrated on his hip and leg, and when she’d X-rayed him, she’d moved as quickly as possible because of his overwhelming terror.
But now she could take her time getting a better look at those white marks she’d noted before on his back. She sat down on the coffee table. She had to use all of her will power to stop her hands from tracing those white lines that crisscrosssed his back. She couldn’t be sure how old they were, not with his super-wolf healing powers, but her best guess was that they were made in the last few months.
He shifted his position in his sleep, and the throw started to come loose and dropped lower on his hips. Carefully, she eased the throw all the way down so she could see his hips and butt. Looking closely, she saw a couple of round marks on his ass that looked like they might have been made by cigarettes. And then there was the scar on his hip and thigh. Most of the marks looked like they were made as he’d told her, by an IED. However, there was one mark right over the broken bone and the break itself that made her think that particular injury was deliberately inflicted.
Torture. Alex had been tortured and deliberately maimed. If he didn’t have the resources of his inner wolf, he’d likely have lost the leg. As it was, he was in constant pain. She found herself praying that Oliver could deliver.
It took her a moment to notice that tears were streaming down her face. Oh, how he must have suffered. She realized that she wanted nothing more than to slide behind him on the couch and hold him tight and try to sooth away his pain.
She found she couldn’t help herself. She leaned over to run her hand lightly down his side. She felt him flinch, but he didn’t try to pull away, so she stroked him again. His body was so tense she pulled her hand away.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You didn’t. I’m just not used to being touched anymore.”
“You don’t like it.”
“Let’s just say that the last people to spend much time touching me weren’t as gentle as you were.”
“And when Moe touched your shoulder?”
“I had a flashback. Is he okay? I didn’t hurt him, did I?”
“You don’t remember?”
“No.” Alex sighed. “When I have one of those panic attacks, I stop thinking and just react, not always appropriately. That’s why I keep away from folks. They all want to hug me, and that freaks me out.”
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have taken you to the cafe yesterday. You had to deal with dozens of people grabbing at you.”
“It wasn’t so bad.” She wished she could see his face, but he still addressed all of his remarks to the cushion. “I deliberately chose a seat where no one could approach me unobserved, and then you were there. I find that when I’m with you or Otis, I feel calmer.”
“Glad Otis and I can help.”
For a few minutes, they were both silent, and then Alex spoke so softly that Lena had to strain to hear him.
“I kind of liked you touching me. You can do it again, you know, if you like.” He tried to keep his tone neutral, but she could hear the underlying need in his voice.
She moved off the coffee table and moved onto the edge of the couch. Sitting sideways, she leaned down and kissed A
lex between the shoulder blades, and then she stroked her hand down his spine. He shivered at the sensation, and she repeated it. Then she ran her hands across his shoulders and then tucked her body tight behind his. She slid her left hand under his arm and around his waist, pulling him tight to her until she felt him relax. Then she shifted, encouraging him to roll over onto his back.
He resisted, and soon she saw why. He was almost painfully aroused, his cock standing up fully engorged against his stomach. He tried to cover himself with his hands, but she pushed them away, reaching down to touch him. It had been ten years since the last time they’d been together sexually, but when she touched his cock, it felt like yesterday.
She could feel her pussy clenching with desire. She wanted him, she realized, desperately. She needed him to be inside her.
Carefully, she stroked his cock, running the fingers of her left hand up and down his shaft. He groaned, but he didn’t try to stop her.
“Do you like this?” she teased, fisting her hand around him and stroking harder. She looked at his face and saw the arousal, but also the fear in his expression.
“What’s wrong?”
“You have to stop. Please. Stop.”
She pulled her hand away, and he tried to turn back into the couch.
“You didn’t like it?”
“How can you say that? I’ve dreamed of your touch for the last decade.”
“Then why make me stop?”
“Because I’ll hurt you.”
“You could never do that unless you reject me again.” As soon as Lena got the words out, she realized that it was true. Somehow, helping him, seeing the pain and the scars, she knew that he’d suffered more during their separation than she had and that she no longer needed revenge. He’d paid a high price defending their country and living apart from his mate. It didn’t mean she wouldn’t come back to the issue of payback at a later date, but today, she just wanted to be close to him, her mate, again.