Lost Without You

by Heather Thurmeier

  “Then you better not take too long.” Chip’s voice had a harder edge than he’d intended it to. It really didn’t matter if they left exactly on time or a few minutes late. And he wouldn’t leave anyone in camp who needed to go. But he couldn’t keep the anger about Rick and Zoe’s kiss out of his tone.

  Chip pulled a few deep breaths into his lungs in an attempt to calm his anger. He couldn’t go back into camp like this or he’d take his anger out on his crew. That wouldn’t help anyone. He’d be better off not listening to the gossip and not worrying about Zoe or Rick until he’d reviewed the tapes.

  And if what Cam had just told him was true, then Zoe would have some explaining to do and Rick would be on his shit list. Thank God he’d moved up this challenge. Now maybe he could get Rick tossed out of the game for good. And hopefully he’d be out of Zoe’s life then too.

  • • •

  Zoe eased her backpack off her shoulders and dropped down to sit on one of the stumps they’d turned on its end for a stool. The “little” hike to the new campsite seemed to take forever and had been exhausting. Maybe Chip didn’t mind so much trekking into the woods, but she definitely wasn’t cut out for this lifestyle.

  And she still had to pitch a tent before she could change into her hosting clothes and officially welcome the contestants to their new camp for the week.

  All she wanted to do was check into a hotel, soak in a hot bubble bath, and sleep in a soft bed. Why had she signed up for this again?

  Oh yeah, the money to finish paying off her medical bills.

  She would be free of that debt and maybe she’d finally be free of any connection to her past too. She looked up from her perch and surveyed the surroundings. Alex was hammering a tent peg into the ground. He looked up and caught her eye, sneering at her.

  Or maybe she’d always be stuck with her past with guys like Alex around.

  Hopefully not. It wasn’t fair that she had to live through her past once already. It was even more unfair that she had to keep reliving it with every check she wrote to the hospital. If she also started getting recognized by people she used to know, there’d be no end to her misery over what had happened. She’d be haunted by that accident forever. And it wasn’t just the accident haunting her with Alex here. It was the teasing that came afterwards too. Alex had been the worst of the bunch, always first with a comment and always last to stop laughing. How many surgeries had she undergone to stop their taunting? How much time had she spent isolated in a painful recovery so she wouldn’t have to face the kids at school again with the same horrifying face … the same guilty conscience? When she’d finished her last surgery, she’d thought she was done with that part of her life forever, never to see any of them again. But apparently not.

  Sighing, Zoe pulled herself up from her spot on the stump and reached for her tent. She dumped the contents of the tent bag onto the ground and found the paper instructions, taking a quick glance over them. They looked just as annoying and complicated as the few other tents she’d been forced into building over the years.

  Zoe worked tirelessly for half an hour laying out the tent tarps and poles and was finally ready to erect her tent when Chip walked up. The expression on his face was unclear, which was odd since she could usually tell what kind of mood he was in. This time though, it was almost impossible to tell. Part of him looked extremely pissed off, and another part looked flirty and interested in her as usual. Strange. Maybe he was having a worse trek into the woods than she was.

  “Need help?” he asked.

  “I do. I think I have everything right so far, but I’m not sure I can erect it myself.”

  He smirked and raised an eyebrow at her suggestively. She felt her cheeks grow hot. “I’ll grab these poles and you grab those two. Once we erect it, hold tight and I’ll come slip the pole into the right spot.”

  She swallowed hard at the innuendo. Had he meant it to sound so dirty?

  They counted to three then lifted the poles at the same time so they arced in the middle creating a dome. It wasn’t anywhere near as large as her tent in base camp but it was only for a week so hopefully she could tough it out.

  Chip came around to her side while she held the poles steady. He took one from her, brushing her hand with his as he did. The small touch sent a shockwave of tingles up her arm. Once the pole was secure, he squatted down next to her and took the remaining pole from her hands.

  “That should do it,” he said, turning to face her once the last pole was in place.

  He was closer than she felt comfortable with at the moment. Not because she didn’t enjoy being this close to him, but because she enjoyed it too much. The urge to reach out and touch him, or worse, kiss him, was overwhelming. His cologne drifting on the breeze infiltrated her senses once more, hindering her judgment.

  “Thanks.” She stood quickly so she wouldn’t be tempted to give in to her impulses. “I think I can get everything else settled from here.”

  He stood slowly and if she wasn’t mistaken, he took in every inch of her with his eyes as he did. By the time he reached her face, her cheeks were flushed with heat at his scrutiny. How could he make her feel this way with only a glance?

  It was unnerving and wonderful at the same time. She didn’t know how to deal with that mixture of emotions.

  “If you need any more help … with anything, just ask me,” Chip said, not moving away. “Can I ask you one thing before I go?”

  “What’s that?”

  Chip shifted closer to her and cupped her jaw in his hand, his skin warming hers. For the first time she could remember since her accident, she didn’t feel the urge to flinch away at the contact. Instead, she found herself leaning in to his touch as his fingers gently caressed the side of her neck, right below her ear.

  From where they stood, no one could see them. She hadn’t realized until that moment how secluded her tent location was because of the trees, but she liked the thought of a little privacy in the crowded camp.

  He stroked his thumb across her lips, inching closer to her.

  “Did you kiss Rick on the trail this morning when you left his camp?” His jaw bulged as if he were gritting his teeth together as he waited for her answer.

  “No,” she whispered, barely able to get the word out with him still touching her, stealing her breath with his closeness.

  He let out a long sigh. “Good. I’m glad it was silly gossip.”

  Oh no. She should have finished her thought faster.

  She shook her head. “No, I didn’t kiss him, but he did kiss me.”

  Chip’s eyes narrowed, he dropped his hand to his side, and pulled his shoulders back. Funny how he could go from sensual and alluring to intense and hardened in a flash. “What does that mean?”

  His words held an edge, but not anger toward her. She could tell he fought control over his emotions at her confession of what happened with Rick.

  Thinking a little clearer now that Chip wasn’t touching her anymore, she was able to fully articulate her thoughts and explain. “It means he put his mouth on mine, but I didn’t ask him to, nor did I want him to. And I pushed him away.”

  “You’re telling me he forced himself on you?”

  “That sounds a little harsher than necessary. I’m saying he made an unrequested play for me and he was shot down. That’s all. No big deal.”

  “It’s a big deal to me and I’m going to make sure he knows it.” Chip stormed off toward camp faster than she could say anything to stop him.

  She thought about running after him and telling him to drop it, but she didn’t want to cause a big scene in front of everyone — production people and contestants were already here and setting up. And honestly, there was a little part of her that was sort of turned on by the thought of Chip going to defend her honor and put Rick in his place. She’d grown tired of Rick’s flir
ting, and now with the kiss, she didn’t want to risk encouraging him further. Maybe a little threat from Chip would sort things out for her.

  An image of Chip all puffed up on testosterone, his biceps bulging as he threatened Rick, fluttered through her mind like a scene right out of a romantic comedy. She bit her bottom lip to stop from smiling as she dragged her things into the privacy of her tent and zipped it closed. She flopped onto the ground on her back, peering up at the ceiling of her tent, and let the smile spread. Chip cared about her enough to be pissed off that Rick had kissed her. She could count the number of times a man had defended her over anything.

  Zero.

  But Chip was right now. And the knowledge of that made her feel more cherished than she ever had before.

  • • •

  Zoe stood in front of the contestants who all looked about as tired as she felt. It had been a long, grueling day and the sooner she was done with this last bit of filming, the sooner she could head to bed for the night.

  What she really wanted was a shower, but that wasn’t going to happen until they got back to base camp. She hoped the rest of the days they were here in the temporary camp didn’t involve as much manual labor, or else there was no way she’d make it all that time without a shower. Not to mention, everyone else would be without showers too. Disgusting.

  If only Chip had given them a little clue as to why they had to be in a new camp for a week in the first place. At least then maybe she’d understand. As it was, it felt like a move for no other reason than to annoy the contestants and force them into a situation that made them uncomfortable. It did the same to her.

  The cue card person held up a new batch of cards and Chip gave her the hand signal to continue. She’d already welcomed them to the new camp and recapped week one quickly for the viewing audience who would watch the show when it aired in a couple of months.

  “This week you’ll all be living together in one camp. I know that sounds like fun after living with only four people in your camp for the last week. But be careful how much and with whom you socialize. Alliances can be formed, but so can rivalries. Choose how, where, and with whom you spend your time wisely.”

  Zoe held her breath. This would be a perfect time for one of Rick’s comments about where he’d like to spend time with her. She glanced toward him nervously. His jaw was set, his arms crossed and he watched her with a deadpan expression instead of his usual flirty one. Maybe Chip really had laid down the law this time.

  She glanced to where Chip stood in his usual spot along the sidelines of the filming area. He looked smug and satisfied with himself as he smirked at Rick.

  Yep. Chip hadn’t been bluffing with his promise to set Rick straight.

  Zoe forced herself to focus on the cue cards again so she could finish. “We’ll have two competitions again this week. One will be tomorrow for a reward. The next will be at the end of the week for elimination. At that point, one team will return home and the remaining three teams will make their way to new camps.”

  Zoe waited while the cue cards changed. “If there are no more questions, I’ll leave you all to finish getting settled in here at your new camp. See you tomorrow for the next challenge.”

  She smiled and looked at the camera until she saw the red light flicker off. She stepped off her tree-trunk stage as Chip walked over and the contestants started to disperse.

  “Can I have your attention, please?” Chip began. Everyone stopped. “I know it’s a little unusual for the production people to stay so close to your team camp, but that’s how things have to be done while we’re here this week due to natural restrictions in this area. Now I know it’s tempting, but there is to be no communication between production crews and the contestant teams other than what you’re already used to with your cameramen. There will be two separate fire pits and common areas and I don’t want to see any co-mingling of the two. Do I make myself clear?”

  A handful of contestants grumbled responses as they formed back into their team groups and wandered off to finish setting up their tents. Zoe followed after Chip as he walked back toward the “crew” side of camp.

  “You couldn’t resist pointing out to Rick he wasn’t allowed on my side of camp this week, could you?”

  Chip gave her a sideways glance but kept walking. “Can you blame me? He made it perfectly clear when he kissed you earlier that he doesn’t know where his boundaries are. I thought it best to remind him and everyone else.”

  “That’s all it was then? A reminder about boundaries?” She couldn’t stop the little twinge of sadness inside. Maybe Chip didn’t care that Rick kissed her as much as he cared about whether or not people followed the rules of his production. It was always about the production and nothing more with him, wasn’t it? “It wasn’t … personal?”

  He stopped for a moment and stared at her. “You know it was,” he said so quietly she almost didn’t hear him then he walked away.

  She wanted to say something back about how she appreciated what he’d done, but it was too late. He was already talking to a few crewmembers who appeared to have questions about where to put things. And she didn’t know what she’d say to him anyway. Truthfully, she didn’t really understand how she felt about Chip or the things he’d been saying to her — the things he’d been doing to her … like making her head swim with a single kiss.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Zoe stared, disbelieving, as members of the four remaining teams made their way across rope bridges from one side of a waterfall to the other. What they walked on couldn’t even be called a bridge. It was literally one large, corded rope for their feet and another for their hands above it. Together, all four team members had to make it across, grab supplies, and then carry them back the same way.

  Terrifying.

  That was the only word she could come up with for this reward challenge. Full on terrifying. Once again she wanted to hug Chip for sparing her this challenge by having her as host instead of contestant. She wasn’t made for these kinds of tasks.

  Of course she knew that if anyone fell from the ropes, they would just land in the pool at the base of the waterfall. And they all wore life vests so it wasn’t as if they would drown, but still. The mere thought of being up there on a wiggling rope made her feel faint. The thought of landing in water was even worse.

  She cheered for the teams as they made their way back across. Only the team who got back to their platform first and second would get to keep all the supplies they’d carried over. The other two teams would go back to camp with nothing.

  As she watched the teams racing as fast as they could to the finish, movement on the furthest rope caught her attention. The rowing team was suddenly swaying and supplies were tumbling off their bodies into the water. A moment later, two of the boys from that team followed in quick succession, plunging into the water below. They came up sputtering and yelling at each other as they swam toward Zoe and the film crews.

  “What the hell, dude?” Jared yelled at Alex as they pulled themselves onto the shore. “I can’t believe this shit. Now we’re screwed and we needed that extra food.”

  “It’s not my fault,” Alex retorted, sounding equally as angry. “You’re the one who had to swap your supplies from one shoulder to the other. If you hadn’t shaken the rope so much, I would have been fine to make it across.”

  “Whatever, dude. I didn’t fall until you went overboard and bounced the rope.”

  Zoe turned her attention back to the game playing out above her as Alex and Jared continued to argue over whose fault the fall really was. She didn’t care either way other than she wished Alex had stayed on his rope because that put him farther away from her.

  “The first team to reach their platform is … ” She held her breath and paused while the two fastest teams took their last few steps to the platforms. The team of dating couples managed to stumble into
their win a few seconds in front of Rick’s team. She was thrilled that Rick’s team hadn’t come in first, but she would have preferred if they hadn’t won a reward. “Our team of dating couples wins!”

  Chip leaned over and whispered the names of the winning team members. His breath was warm on her earlobe, sending a shiver down her spine. This was even better than using the earpiece as they’d done for the previous challenge. This time she could feel him, smell his cologne, and if she turned her head, she’d be close enough to kiss him. Luckily all cameras were pointed at the action and not at her reaction to Chip.

  “Thank you,” she whispered back, not giving in to the urge to turn her head. She took a few forced steps forward and waved for the teams to climb down and join her.

  “Tammy, Matt, Jane, and Damon, you are our winners today! Congratulations. Let’s see what loot you managed to bring across the rope bridge with you.”

  They took stock of their reward. Rope, tarp, some food, and a few cooking supplies would all go back to camp with them at the end of the week if they stayed in the competition past elimination. Regardless, they could still use the supplies for the remainder of this week at their new temporary camp.

  “Well done. That’s a great haul.” She turned her attention to Rick’s team. “Rick, Roger, Todd, and Pam you came in second place which means you also get to take your supplies back to camp. Congratulations.”

  “I’m sad to say the rowing team and our team of doctors will not be returning to camp with rewards this week. But maybe if you’re lucky, the other teams will share their spoils with you while you’re at the temporary camp.”

  “Not likely,” Rick said with a snort.

  Zoe wasn’t surprised. He wasn’t the kind of man who would share anything he didn’t have to. She cringed. How had she been stupid enough to flirt with him?

  “Alright, everyone. I’ll see you back here at this same location in a few days for your next elimination challenge, but don’t plan on walking the ropes again because this time it will be something completely different.”