by Brook Wilder
But it wasn’t true. The entire time I had been casing my next targets, she wasn’t far from my thoughts. I swear I could smell her perfume on me, though I hadn’t touched her in over twelve hours.
Her scent was ingrained in my senses, no matter how much I wanted to deny it.
“Shit,” I swore, hitting the steering wheel with the palm of my hand.
This was not how this was supposed to end. This was not how I had imagined the rest of my life being since we had gotten back together. I had pictured a lifetime of Rox in my bed, not coming home to an empty one that I couldn’t even sleep in because it smelled of her.
There would never be another Rox in my life. If I couldn’t have her, I didn’t want anyone. Maybe I should leave, take the Horsemen to another part of the state and drum up business there. I couldn’t imagine walking down the street of Cibolo and seeing her with another guy, giving her a nod as we passed each other.
The scene would more than likely end with me punching the guy to a bloody pulp and getting arrested in the process.
Blowing out a breath, I turned the truck onto a familiar road, needing somewhere to decompress, somewhere I wouldn’t be haunted by her memory for a little while.
Momma was sitting on the porch when I pulled up, lifting her hand in greeting as I climbed out.
“Fancy seeing you here.”
I chuckled as I climbed up to the porch, taking a seat in the empty rocking chair across from her.
“What? A son can’t visit his momma unexpectedly?”
She eyed me, a smirk on her face.
“No, not when I know my son very well. What’s going on, Neil?”
I sighed, leaning back in the chair. Nothing could get past Abigail Wheeler.
“I fucked up.”
She laughed, easing back into her chair.
“Well then, that’s the understatement of the century, son. I suspect this has something to do with Roxanne?”
I narrowed my eyes at her.
“How did you know?”
She grinned.
“I have my ways. Why didn’t you tell me you were dating her? What were you afraid of?”
I ran a hand over my face, feeling exhausted.
“I don’t know. I didn’t want to put her in an awkward way.”
“I love that girl like my own,” she replied, a sad smile on her face. “That child has been through so much in her life. She needed someone strong, someone that could pick up for her, and I knew you were destined to be that man, Neil.”
“I doubt she will ever talk to me again,” I answered, feeling the hole in my chest widen at that thought.
The pain was there, just like it had been before our reunion, only this time it was constant. She had put all her faith in me, and I had let her down.
Momma chuckled, her eyes lit with laughter.
“If I know her, she will come back to you. You have to be patient, son. Some things are worth waiting for.”
I wished I could believe her.
“You found that Grayson yet?” she moved on.
I shook my head.
“No momma, he’s still out there.”
She huffed, as she always did when something hadn’t gone her way.
“Well then, you go settle this mess with Roxanne and then you will find him. There’s no doubt in my mind. You gotta get this heaviness off your chest and make your peace with her before you can concentrate on finding that man.”
Sometimes, just hearing it come out of other people’s mouths made it make sense. But what my momma didn’t know was why Rox and I were not together at the moment. I didn’t know how to apologize for what I had done to her, nor did I know how to fix it. Leo was still dead, and right now he was still labeled as a traitor.
Until I opened that box, he would be that in the eyes of all of Cibolo.
**
A few hours later, I entered my house with an armload of food that momma had sent home with me. By the weight of it, she was worried I was going to waste away in a matter of hours.
Still, visiting with her had helped. She was right. I had to get this thing with Rox over and done with before I could concentrate on catching Grayson and ending this shit once and for all.
My boots crunching on the glass I had yet to sweep up, I dumped the food in the fridge before walking back to the bedroom, where her scent still lingered in the air. I loved Rox. I wanted her to be here with me permanently. I wasn’t perfect by any means, nor was I able to provide the things she deserved, but… hell, I could give her love.
That is, if I could get her back. There was only one way I could do that, and it would be risky. If Grant found out that I was still on this track of absolving Leo, I could lose my life. He was betting on me to find Grayson and soon.
But if I didn’t, I would never close this chapter myself. Leo had come to me when he needed me the most, entrusting me with the life of his sister in his final words. I owed it to him to either prove or disprove his final actions.
Walking to the hall closet, I opened the door and reached in, pulling out the box, turning it over in my hands. Whatever this box held, Leo had died for it and it was high time someone did something about that.
My cell buzzed, and I nearly dropped the box, scrambling to get it out of my pocket. Maybe it was Rox, wanting to talk. I would do anything for her right now, anything to make her see that I loved her, that I hadn’t meant to hurt her with this at all.
But it wasn’t Rox. It was Amy. Pressing the button, I held it up to my ear.
“Yeah?”
“Neil,” she said breathlessly into the phone. “I just… I wanted to let you know Rox is at my place. I’m trying to take care of her the best I can, but, man, you screwed up bigtime.”
Groaning inwardly, I sat the box on the shelf and walked away.
“Thanks for letting me know. H-how is she?”
“Not good,” she said in a small voice. “But I’m hoping you are coming up with a plan to fix this shit. You two belong together, and there is nothing that can tear you apart. I know you didn’t kill Leo, you couldn’t have.”
“I’m a cold-blooded killer,” I reminded her, dropping on the sofa. “He was just another casualty of this war.”
“Bull shit,” she said immediately. “Tell your lie to someone else. I know you, and I believe that deep down Rox knows you didn’t do it as well. Get off your ass and go clear his name so she will come back to you.”
“I fucked up,” I said anxiously.
“We all do,” Amy answered. “Hurry up. She’s drinking all my best whiskey.”
I opened my mouth to say something but was greeted with the dial tone, chuckling as I put the phone on the table. Good. I was glad to know that Rox was not by herself, but with friends who cared.
And Amy believed in me as well. Was she telling the truth about what Rox believed? I hoped so. I hadn’t killed Leo. Hell, I couldn’t even kill him the night I had ample opportunity to do so.
“Shit,” I said aloud, running a hand through my hair roughly. I had to fix this between Rox and me. I had to find Grayson.
I had to get my life back.
But first, I had to get some fucking sleep.
Chapter Twenty-One
Rox
“You see anything?”
Sydney pulled away from her binoculars and glared at Amy, irritation in her eyes.
“No, for the thousandth time, no!”
Amy pulled out her flask and took a swig, narrowing her eyes at the cop.
“Sorry. I just want something to happen. This casing business is god awful boring as hell.”
I laughed, unable to help it. Clearly, we had not meant to be holed up in Sydney’s jeep for longer than an hour. For two hours we had been sitting here in the old abandoned strip mall parking lot, looking for anyone suspicious that Sydney could bust before her back-up arrived.
Now we were minus thirty minutes from the time that the goons on the phone were supposed to show up, and the only suspicious a
ctivity in this parking lot was us. I just had this sinking feeling that we were being set up, that they weren’t going to show, and this was going to drag on forever.
Either that or I was going to wind up dead.
“Did you really have to bring the flask with you?” Sydney was asking Amy, resuming her watch on the parking lot. “Did you not get enough to drink the other night?”
“You are just jealous,” Amy answered, a smug smile on her face. “That I was smart enough to bring it and that you missed out on mine and Rox’s party night.”
I snorted. It was less like a party night and more like getting drunk off our asses and harassing the pizza delivery boy when he arrived with our pizza. The poor high school student didn’t know what to think when Amy brazenly propositioned him to come in and let us ‘pop his cherry’.
He had left quickly after that statement with a fat tip and a red face.
“By the looks of you both yesterday,” Sydney said, not even bothering to turn around. “I would say you were in some pain.”
That I could agree with. God, it had been a long, long time since I had been that sick from drinking.
“Just because you have a man to go home to doesn’t mean we do,” Amy shot back, taking another sip from her flask. “Alcohol doesn’t make you miserable.”
“Speak for yourself,” I said from the passenger seat. “I was pretty damn miserable yesterday.”
Sydney snorted as she placed her binoculars on the dashboard.
“Maybe after all this is said and done, we can go on a spa weekend or something. I would love to see y’all drunk off your asses.”
“If Zack will let you off your leash long enough to do so,” Amy replied, sticking out her tongue when Sydney flipped her off.
I listened to them bicker, wondering what I would have done without them. Not everyone would be sitting in a jeep in the sweltering Texas heat, just so they could catch an annoying caller, nor would they get drunk just to make the other friend feel better about her life.
Amy and Syd were so getting free haircuts for life.
“I gotta get out of this jeep,” Amy announced a moment later. “Can we, like, stretch our legs? Nothing is happening anyway.”
“That sounds good,” I admitted, reaching for the door handle.
A few minutes outside would do us all some good. Besides, it was still some time before the caller was supposed to show up, and by that time Syd’s backup would be here.
We were safer here than we were anywhere at the moment.
“Okay,” Sydney finally said, reaching for her door handle. “A few minutes, then we all get back in the jeep.”
“Thank God,” Amy said with a sigh as we all climbed out.
I stretched my arms over my head, looking at the nearly deserted parking lot. We had chosen a parking spot close to the road, where a copse of trees provided some shade from the blazing heat. It also gave Sydney what she called the ‘perfect’ view of who was coming in and out.
I didn’t know how she did this on a regular basis.
Lifting my hair off my shoulders, I allowed the hot breeze to cool the sweat on the back of my neck. My stomach was still a bundle of nerves. There had been a moment that morning, when I had been lying in Amy’s spare bedroom, that I had wanted to let Neil know what I was doing today. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get him off my mind, wondering if he was safe and what he was doing.
Was he as miserable as I was?
Was he missing me?
Ugh, I hated that I had those feelings for him! I should have been hating him, forgetting that he even existed on this earth, but that pull between us… it was stronger than I had anticipated. The first time I had lost him, I had tried to move on, to throw myself into my work and forget that he lived across town.
But this time… this time I had allowed my feelings to get the better of me and lost my heart as a result.
No, I hadn’t lost my heart. It was just broken in two at what I called betrayal. Why hadn’t he just given me the damn key to begin with?
“Company,” Sydney uttered suddenly, reaching for her gun at her hip.
I did the same, the feel of the metal against my skin reminding me of the other day, when I had held Neil at gunpoint.
Sure enough, there was a SUV flying toward us, the tinted windows hiding the occupants inside.
“Shit,” Amy breathed as it came to a stop, pulling her own gun from the waistband of her jeans.
This was not good.
The doors opened, and four men stepped out, all brandishing their own set of weapons.
“Dammit,” Sydney muttered under her breath, cocking back the hammer on the gun. “It’s the Brotherhood.”
I swallowed, using every ounce of my strength to keep my gun level and steady. The Teutonic Brotherhood were known for their arms dealing, fanatics after Hitler and his Nazi teachings. I had heard of many a shooting that involved their weapons, and recently the Horsemen had denounced any part in what they were running along the border, not wanting their town to get overrun with automatic weapons.
Those automatic weapons did nothing but land in the hands of kids, and more families suffered as a result.
One in particular shut his door as he walked to us, unfazed by the guns we were holding.
“Well, well, well, isn’t this a surprise?”
“Stop,” Sydney growled, aiming her gun for his head. “Or I will shoot you.”
The other men chuckled, but he held up his hand, silencing them.
“Oh, I have no doubt that you would shoot me. The great Sydney Warren! Everyone, clap for this marvel that we have in our midst!”
He clapped, the others joining in, their leering eyes on us.
“Get down on the ground,” Sydney shouted. “And I will take all y’all in nice and slow.”
The leader tapped his gun against his forehead, a grin on his gaunt face.
“You see? There’s something wrong with this picture. What is it? Oh, yeah, here they come!”
Out of the corner of my eye I saw another truck approach, then another, all filled with men who looked just like the goons standing before us. While we could have potentially shot our way out of the first one, there was no way we could get out of this one.
My blood ran cold as I watched Neil’s cousin, Michael approach, a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Looks like it’s my lucky day boys. I ask for one and I get three in return!”
No, it couldn’t be. While I knew he and Neil weren’t exactly on good terms, I hadn’t anticipated him being the caller.
“You look surprised,” Michael said as he walked up to me, no gun in his hand.
I imagined with all the firepower behind him, he didn’t need to show off.
“Dear Roxy. I really didn’t want to hurt you, but… hey, a chance to get one over on my big, bad cousin and your asshole brother? I couldn’t turn up the offer.”
My breath stuttered in my chest at the mention of my brother.
“You killed Leo.”
He shrugged, motioning for the other guys behind him.
“Come on, let’s get them and get moving. If I know Ms. Warren here, she will have back-up on the way.”
“We aren’t going anywhere,” Sydney said through gritted teeth. “You let us walk away, I won’t shoot you in the back as I leave.”
Michael chuckled, shaking his head.
“You are a piece of work Syd. I tell you what. Either you drop the gun now, or I have my man watching Zack currently shoot his brains out. How would you like that?”
Amy gasped as Sydney went pale, though she kept her gun trained on him.
“You’re bluffing.”
It was a bold move, and I held my breath as he pulled out a cell phone, tapping on it until he got what he wanted.
“You think I’m bluffing? Here, take a look.”
Michael flipped around the screen, and I saw Sydney’s eyes widen as she saw her man on the screen, a live feed from somewhere up town.
It was Zack all right, and he seemed to be oblivious that someone was watching him, even laughing as he greeted a fellow Horseman.
Things had just gone from bad to worse in a split second.
“So?” Michael challenged, dropping the phone into his jacket pocket. “What’s it going to be Sydney? Your gun or Zack’s life?”