“My breakfast just got here,” she told her daughter. “Tell your grandma that I’ll be home by noon. I need to make a couple of stops.” This was a great opportunity to finish up her shopping without the kids in tow. “See you later, kiddo.”
She opened the door, took the tray from the young man’s hands and gave him a tip. Carrying the tray inside, she placed it on the bed until she could make room on the small table next to the window. She refilled her coffee pot, and took the lid of her omelet, thinking about the conversation, knowing what she needed to do. Her exuberance faded and she felt a knot tighten in her stomach. Her parents and sister and family would love to have the children near, and she needed their emotional support.
Heaven was a wonderful town, but it wasn’t practical for her to think about buying a house here. And Nick was only the first man she’d been attracted to since Daniel’s death. It was natural that his kiss and flirtation had gone to her head. Well, she needed to get out of town and clear it so she could get back on the right path.
Number one, she had to get a good job again. Daniel’s pension wouldn’t be enough, and even if it were, she needed to be occupied while the children were in school. But the only job she’d ever had was working for the airlines, and she couldn’t do that again. Not flying anyway. She might enjoy a job as ground personnel, and work at an airport—except for the fact it would be killer hours, and she’d need a nanny. That would never work. She had no idea what she wanted to do with her life. But she needed to figure it out soon. And she would, once she resettled.
She ate a few bites from her breakfast, but she’d lost her appetite. The thought of calling Nick, and not seeing him again, weighed heavily on her heart. She wanted him. For herself. He made her feel good. After a year of mourning, it was nice to feel alive and happy again. He had given her that. She knew it was a temporary gift, but now she didn’t even have that to look forward to for Christmas.
Inviting him would be a mistake. For the kids, for her family, and perhaps more importantly, for herself. She was vulnerable right now. Especially this holiday season. Once she got through this, and returned to Norfolk to finish off the school year, she’d forget about this lovely place, and the taste of Nick’s kisses, the warmth of his smile, and the shining light in his eyes as he made S’mores for her and the kids.
For her own serenity, she had to.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Nick felt a rough tongue on his cheek and opened his eyes slowly. He’d been dreaming of Jennie and their kisses, and went to wrap his arms around his frisky female, but encountered a hairy mutt instead.
“What the heck?” He pushed the dog off him. “What am I going to do with you? I need to hang those posters up around town. Find you a good home. And no. It’s not mine.” He looked into the dog’s eager eyes and saw his tail wag joyfully. “You’re a good little rascal and I’m sure someone will want you. Don’t you worry. Meanwhile, let me take you outside so you don’t mess up my place.”
He slipped out of bed and into his robe and slippers and found a big wet spot in front of the patio doors. “Oops. Guess I’m too late.” He opened the door for Sammy and Rasco, thinking that was as good a name as any. Then he got a roll of heavy duty paper towels and stooped down to mop the floor. Once it was dry, and after his coffee, he’d use a wood cleaner and a mop. Later.
He made his coffee and turned on the TV news, horrified to see the report about the shooting in the mall. He didn’t miss the city a bit. It was there for the nights when he wanted something out of the ordinary, or needed something he couldn’t buy here, but for the most part, he was perfectly happy living the quiet life.
Once he got his grandparent’s old farmhouse up to snuff, he’d unload that and get himself a nice bungalow on the outskirts of Heaven. A custom built log cabin would be kind of cool, but he didn’t mind the idea of a planned new development. One day he’d probably marry and have kids of his own, and he didn’t want to have to sell again and go to the hassle of moving. Best if he planned for that now.
He sipped on his coffee, thinking about Jennie and her kids. They were a beautiful family, and one day she’d meet Mr. Right and remarry. He’d bet it wouldn’t take long. She was a hellava kisser, and had felt damn good in his arms. So much so, that he couldn’t wait to see her again. Christmas was not a good day to spend alone. He and his grandpa had stopped celebrating once Grandma had died, and they’d go grab a ready-made turkey dinner from the local grocery. They would exchange a store bought sweater and laugh affectionately about the ugly Christmas sweaters Grandma used to knit for them. They never wore them again.
It would be fun to be around a real family for Christmas day. A real tree, lots of presents and laughter and kids. He could already smell the familiar scents coming from the oven. Turkey basted in butter and herbs, savory homemade stuffing, side dishes of sweetened yams and mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce. They might serve pumpkin pie after, or a delicious pecan pie. It had been years since he’d had a home cooked dinner like that. He didn’t cook them either. They closed on Christmas Eve and remained closed until the 28th. He never asked about Byron’s plans or Ally’s, not wanting to pry. If they wanted to tell him, they would.
Rasco barked, so he opened the door and let the two dogs in. He filled their bowls with a mixture of canned beef and dried kibbles and watched them dig in. Rasco was eating out of an old margarine container because he only had one proper dog dish, and one proper dog. He really wished Jennie would consider taking the pup. The kids would love him, and he wanted to be sure he had a good home.
Maybe he should call her this morning and ask. Before he put the flyers up everywhere.
He wished it had been her tongue he’d felt this morning. He’d woken up with a woodie, and knew that last night he would have given his left nut to sleep with her.
Perhaps it was time he got laid. Found a nice girlfriend. Someone who’d keep him warm this winter. Yes, that’s what he’d do. He’d start looking right after the holidays. After Jennie left. His stomach clenched and he felt a pang. Must be indigestion, he figured. He couldn’t possibly be feeling anything but lust for the pretty widow. He liked her a lot, but liking and wanting was one thing. It had nothing to do with commitment and love.
He popped an English muffin into the toaster and fried up a slice of ham and an egg. He sat down with his breakfast sandwich and a second hit of coffee and stared out the window at his snow covered lawn.
Sammy laid his head on Nick’s foot, and Rasco nipped at his heels. Absently, he broke a little off his sandwich and tossed it under the table. The nipping stopped.
He glanced at his clock over the kitchen sink. It was seven thirty. Too early to call Jennie, he decided. He might as well take his shower and go down to the bistro early. Get his major cooking done for the day. He had several reservations this evening and there were always a lot of drop-ins. The happy hour crowd.
He took a long hot shower but it didn’t erase whatever was ailing him. Perhaps he was coming down with a cold or a touch of the flu. He hoped his kissing Jennie last night wouldn’t give her whatever bug he’d caught. He wrapped a big towel around himself and then turned the heat up a notch or two. He hated feeling under the weather, but he also knew more was eating him than the common flu.
It was the season to be jolly, and it never failed to make him miserable. The rest of the year he could go about his business and be the guy who had it all—freedom to do what he wanted, a life with few commitments. It was only during the Christmas season that he missed not having a family and the joy it might bring. Might being the key word. It could bring a lot of misery too. He knew that, and had seen it often enough.
Something he avoided at all costs. Look at his mother for instance. What if he ended up being an addict like her? Not that he’d ever do drugs, but maybe it was in his genes. Or worse, he’d transfer that illness on to his kids. Did he want to take that chance? And he never knew his father. He might have been a drifter, a user himself
, and with both of them wasted they’d produced a child. Who knew? Who cared? It didn’t define him. He was better than that. Better than a one night stand. Better than a crack-head mother. He was fine just the way he was, and if he sometimes got lonely, well, there were plenty of women willing to help him with that.
An hour later, Nick was in his commercial kitchen at his restaurant cooking up a batch of meatloaf, and his five cheese onion soup. He would also make an herb-crusted pork tenderloin and shrimp scampi over linguini, but that would be done later. Now he just needed to marinate the meat and make the scampi sauce to put in the fridge.
When that was done, he noticed it was almost ten. He hadn’t heard from Jennie and wondered if she was still in town. If so he could probably have a quick cup of coffee with her.
He washed his hands, dug out his cell phone and gave her a call. The sound of her voice would ease the pounding in his head and the need to see her. If not, it’d be a weak substitute at best.
She picked up and his pulse kicked in. “Hi, Nick. What’s up?”
“Just calling to wish you a good morning,” he said, his voice unnaturally husky, “and to let you know how much I enjoyed last night.”
“I enjoyed it very much too.”
“We should do it again.” At her silence, he cleared his throat, and tried for nonchalance. “I was wondering if you were still around? I’m at the bistro, and figured you might pop in for a cup of coffee if you’re not too busy.”
“I’m in the car right now. On the 95, about fifteen minutes away from Philly. I decided to get the rest of my shopping done. It’s easier without the kids around.”
“I can understand that.” He turned the heat down on one of the burners. “Sorry I missed you.”
“Well, I’ll see you when I get back. Still haven’t heard from Allan, the insurance adjustor. Hopefully he’ll let me know tomorrow.”
“Right. Well, if you’re back here, make sure you call.” No mention of Christmas. Maybe she hadn’t spoken to her mother yet. She might call him back later with a definite answer. Not that he cared. He could always go to the mall and have dinner at the diner, or accept one of the invitations from one of his lady friends in town. It wasn’t like he had no friends. His buddies from high school kept asking him too, but they were married now and lived out west, and he couldn’t see going that far for a couple of days. Danny lived in San Francisco and Mark owned a ski shop in Denver. That might be fun if it weren’t so far away.
The two single women in town were in their early thirties. One was a nurse, the other worked in the hair salon and gave him great cuts. They both made it plain that they’d like to spend more time with him, but when he did he always felt as if he let them down. They’d have a nice time together, and when he’d leave in the morning their faces would reek of disappointment. He hated hurting them, but he simply didn’t care enough to stay.
“Sure. I’ll do that.” She hesitated, and then spoke again. “About Christmas. I’m not sure that it’s a good idea. You know? The kids might think too much of it. My family too, although I’m not worried about them. But when I told the girls about the park and the carriage ride, Katie asked if we were getting married!” She laughed, the sound terrified rather than amused. “Can you imagine? Whatever would give her that crazy idea?”
“I don’t know.” He rubbed his jaw, thinking aloud. “I see your problem. The girls might be wanting a daddy.”
“Exactly.” She seemed relieved that he understood so clearly. And he did—but he didn’t. “Perhaps giving them a puppy wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all. Because Christmas is bound to get weepy without their father around. It’ll be hard on everybody.”
“Of course. It’s going to be very difficult for you.” He cleared his throat, his mind spinning. “I wish I could be there for you, but it’s probably not a good idea. This is the first Christmas without him, right?”
“Right.”
“Well, a dog is your answer then. That’ll put a smile on the kids’ faces.” He added, “You’d be doing me a huge favor by taking Rasco off my hands.”
She laughed again, this time the sound relieved. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. “That’s what you named him? It’s perfect.”
“If you want him, you could take him tomorrow or Tuesday, when you come back in town.”
“I’ll do that, providing no one has claimed him.”
“Good. That’s a deal then.”
“Yes. And thanks for being so understanding about Christmas. I wish I could invite you, I really do.”
“That’s all right. I know people I can spend the day with.”
“I’m sure you do.” Her voice had turned cool.
His antenna picked up. Could she be jealous at the idea of him with another woman? Why, hell yes! She just might be. And why did he have to feel so damn good about it?
“If the adjustor can’t make it here before Christmas I could bring Rasco to you. Meet you somewhere.” He thought quickly, not wanting to show up on her doorstep. “Like a pet store. You’ll need a crate, a bed, all that paraphernalia.”
“That’s true. But even better if I pick all that up now. I’ll just hide it in my parent’s garage.”
“Well, keep in touch. One way or the other we’ll get the dog to you.”
“Unless someone claims him. He must belong to somebody.”
“I haven’t seen or heard about anyone looking.”
“Put a few flyers up. I’d hate to take him and then have to give him back. That would break the girls’ heart.”
“We won’t let that happen. Trust me, Jennie. I’ll make sure the dog is unclaimed before I pass him over to you.”
“Thank you.” She didn’t say anything for a full second. “For everything. I wish things could be different,” she whispered.
“So do I.” He hung up before his tongue got him into trouble. He didn’t even know what he wanted, or what he felt. He had feelings for her, and it had been a long time since he’d been as turned on as last night, but the truth was he had no time for a woman. Between fixing up the farm house and running the bistro his hands were full. Unfortunately, his bed was also empty.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Jennie Googled a mall on the outskirts of Philly, eager to find one just off the 95. Before she got out of the car, she wrote down a list of items to buy. Having a game plan made all the difference. She could shop faster and cheaper, and with kids that was just plain smart.
She’d shipped most of the presents by Amazon, but needed a few Santa gifts. During her drive from Norfolk, she’d made a last minute decision to buy her parents a flat screen TV. The one they had now was over ten years old with outdated technology. She wanted to surprise them with something they would use and love.
She entered a Super Wal-Mart store, figuring they’d have pet supplies, toys, and a good-sized electronics department. It took Jennie very little time to pick out a TV for her parents. It would be delivered on the 24th and hooked up for a small extra charge. She found everything she needed for Rasco, and added some chew toys, hoping he might be content with that instead of eating everyone’s shoes.
Next, she tossed in some new games the girls would love, a few books to keep them reading during the holidays, and new snowsuits—they’d outgrown theirs from the previous year. She grabbed a couple of Lego sets for the boy cousins, and then headed for the cashiers. There was at least a dozen open, but the lines were long. As she waited, she caught sight of a dancing, musical Santa a few rows away, and stepped out of line to add that to her cart. The girls would crack up.
Heading back, she spotted soup mugs with a Christmas scene that reminded her so much of Heaven, she bought two sets. If she had a chance she’d give one to Nick and keep one for herself. In some minute way it would connect them, and keep his memory alive. Heart humming, she returned to the ever-growing line, feeling proud of her selections and the fact she’d managed to keep within budget.
When she arrived at her parent’s she had h
er father meet her in the garage, and he helped to unload the gifts and put them out of sight. He had some good color in his face and was looking happy and healthy. Perhaps seeing the kids had added exuberance to his step. She certainly hoped so, for he’d be seeing a lot more of them.
Then she entered the home from the garage and the kids came flying into her arms.
“Mommy, Mommy, we had our pictures taken with Santa Claus. He knew we were visiting Nana and Papa, and said he’d make sure the toys came here! How does he know these things, I wonder?” Katie was a very clever girl, and she folded her arms. “I bet you sent him a letter, didn’t you? To the North Pole. I wish you had let me write something too.”
“You both wrote him a letter a long time ago,” Jennie reminded her daughter. “I dropped it off at the mailbox.”
“I remember,” Brooke said. “I asked him for a piggy. A little one.”
Jennie smiled. “And I told you we didn’t have any room in our house for a small pig. That’s when I suggested a dog. Which you will get when we get our new house,” she added, keeping Rasco a secret.
“I know. But what if Santa brings me a pig after all? He might know that I have a collection of pigs on my bed.”
“Then I guess we’d have to find a big crate and keep him. But I don’t think he’d want to be crated, do you? I can’t imagine having a little pig running around our new home, snorting everywhere,” she said with a laugh to take any sting out of the words.
Katie pretended to be a pig, running around the living room and snorting. “I’m Miss Piggy,” she said, and snorted again.
“That’s not funny.” Brooke pouted, tears coming to her eyes.
Jennie grabbed her and swung her around. “I love you, sweetheart, and so does Santa. You will have a wonderful Christmas. I promise.”
“Okay, Mommy. Nana’s making us some lunch. Papa’s hungry. And she has some Christmas cookies too. She said we could eat them after lunch. I’m having chicken noodle soup. Nana said she made it from scratch. What’s scratch?”
A CHRISTMAS COLLECTION Page 9