“I don’t know…how much time I have left,” the King said. Oh no. Here it was. “I want… I want to see you married before I die…so I know that you will be okay.”
I knew it. I knew he would ask this. I lifted my eyes to Conrad to see his thoughts, but he kept his on his father. “Of course. Anything for you.”
No. Conrad continued to comfort his father while I stood like a frozen pawn. The open door called from behind me, and I debated running. How far could I get before someone caught me? Could I make it all the way home?
The King sighed as if we just granted him eternal peace. “Thank you. It’ll do my heart good to see you married.”
That couldn’t be true. Couldn’t a father tell when his son wasn’t in love, and when his son’s fiancée was being forced into the marriage? More likely, he just wanted to see his orders carried out before he died.
That wasn’t going to happen.
I stood quietly as Conrad grieved his ailing father. Then, when he wiped his face free of tears, I walked with him back into the hallway. “I’ll be back in the morning,” Conrad called to the King before he closed the door. I was glad he hadn’t said we would be back.
Once in the hallway, Conrad leaned against the wall, tilting his head back to rest it against the stone. I tucked my arms around me, unsure what to say in that moment.
After a few breaths, Conrad spoke. “We can get a divorce.”
I wanted to be sympathetic in the moment. I really did. If I had found out that my father was passing it would be so hard on me, and I would turn the world around to make his passing easier.
But I wouldn’t marry Conrad.
“Do you understand what you are asking of me? Do you know how difficult it would be to find someone to marry me after a divorce?”
“Cosette, it would be quite the opposite. In the town, yes, if you had a failed marriage then it would be difficult to find another husband. But as the former wife of a king? People would be lining up to have your hand. We can say that your tender heart led you to serve underprivileged villages, keeping you away from me, and we felt we could serve our country better apart. The divorce wouldn’t have to be shameful. And don’t you have some boy from back home who wants to marry you anyway?”
“I only said that I was in love, not that he wanted to marry me. That…it isn’t an option.” I would let Conrad make of that what he would. “I can’t do this, Conrad. This would ruin my life.”
“Being with me isn’t ruining your life. We won’t consummate the marriage; your honor will remain intact. I’ll vouch for you. But who knows, maybe you’ll fall in love with me.”
“Do you hear yourself? This is crazy. I can’t do this.”
Conrad stepped off from the wall. “It’s late. We don’t have to talk about this now. Can I walk you to your room?”
Perhaps he was right, and my sleepiness was preventing any sensitivity to him or to the situation. I needed a night’s rest and more time to come up with solid reasons why marrying me was not in his best interests.
“I’m sleeping in tomorrow morning; you can find me in the afternoon.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Conrad took his time finding me. I told Anna how the King was sick, and my marriage was getting pushed up, but since I couldn’t explain to her exactly why I didn’t want to marry Conrad, she couldn’t understand my distress. I gave up and turned my attention to a list of reasons why we shouldn’t get married.
The biggest reason was that I didn’t spin the gold. If he knew that, I was sure my case would look a lot more reasonable. But, while it was my strongest point, it was also my riskiest point. There was no telling what the King would do if he found out I lied to him and the whole kingdom for months.
My other points were weaker, but still valid. I did not love Conrad. That should hold more weight, but it didn’t seem to matter to either the prince or the King. Another reason was I wouldn’t have time to plan the wedding. I knew that I wasn’t expected to be involved in much of the planning, but it meant that diplomats and nobility from other kingdoms wouldn’t have time to travel and attend the ceremony, either. With the war still on going, we weren’t in a position to be angering neighboring countries.
The war was part of my third point as well. We should wait until the war was over, so the country could really celebrate. It’d be wrong to make merry while a war was going on.
Those were all my points. I could have come up with more, had I not shamelessly slept the morning away.
In the late afternoon, Conrad came knocking at my door. Anna had been given the day off, so I answered the door myself.
Conrad stood outside the door with his hands in his pockets and bags under his eyes, dragging his feet into my room as he undid his tie.
“I’m sorry I’m so late. It’s been a crazy day.”
“Things with your father?”
“Of sorts. It seems the advisors are more reluctant to go through with the coup now, when it looks like the King will be dead in a month anyway. No one wants to deliver a death blow.” Conrad sat down in my chair and peeked up at me. “Are you still upset about the marriage?”
“Yes, but I’m willing to talk about it more rationally now that I’ve slept.”
That perked Conrad up. “Good, because I’m prepared to bribe you into it.”
“Bribe me? With what?”
“Simple. Originally, I’d planned to offer you and your family enough money to live comfortably, but you make gold, so I don’t think you need my help. Instead, I will give you all the books in the library. They can all be yours. We will still end the marriage when the time comes, and wherever you chose to go beyond that, the books can go too.”
The thought of bringing all those books home with me made me swoon, and Conrad saw that hesitation. He lowered himself onto his knees. “Please Cosette, I need this. I need you as my wife to appease my father and make me look like a strong king. Everyone knows that a king’s strength comes from his wife. I can secure my rule with you by my side.” He rested his hands in his lap, staring up at me with a lost look in his eyes. “Is there anything else you’d want?”
I thought for a moment. “Could you have cakes sent to my family each month? The cook here makes excellent cakes and pies and tartlets.” Contrary to what he believed, I couldn’t spin gold, so I would be little use to my family back home besides sweeping floors. But those cakes could be eaten or served in the tavern. They wouldn’t do much, but they could help.
Hope flickered across his face. “I can send them by the bucket every single month.”
I sighed. I hadn’t expected to say yes, but something in his expression changed my mind. Grief mixed with desperation. It mirrored an exact look I once saw on Anika. She was so young at that point, and we were so hungry. Papa had promised to keep her safe, and though I had nothing to offer her, I had promised the same thing.
I could keep her safe now by sending food each month and keeping the tavern afloat in ways that only a queen could.
It could go beyond them. As queen, I would be in position to serve my country and the people in ways that I never could before. Conrad’s broken expression stayed on me, the look of a man who would do anything for his kingdom.
This wouldn’t be for Conrad, but like him, I would do this for those that I loved. For the sake of my family, and all the times they’d cared for me, I could care for them.
It was with a heavy heart that the words came out. “Alright. I’ll be your queen.”
Conrad jumped up and grabbed me in his arms, swinging me around. I let out a cry as I clung to him. He set me back down and pulled me in for a tight hug. “Thank you, Cosette. Thank you. We will be married in three weeks.”
“Three weeks?”
“I must go begin preparations.” He practically ran from the room, perhaps an effort to deprive me the opportunity to change my mind.
A royal wedding required more preparations than I could have envisioned. The flowers, where we put the flowers, how lo
ng the flowers would stay out, what food we would serve, who we would invite and where we would seat them. What rooms we would open for company and how we would decorate these rooms. Which glasses would be used for dinner, which forks, which plates? What dress would I wear, and what symbolic jewelry?
These were only the decisions that I was a part of, though I knew many more took place without my aid.
Rumpel voiced his dislike of spending his last month watching the castle be redone for my wedding, though neither of us could do anything about it. Conrad and I would be married, then sent off to a summer home on the border of Westfallen and Vestalin for a vacation, which meant that these next three weeks with Rumpel would be our last. Beyond that, he only had about a week left, if his calculations were correct.
I prayed his calculations were correct.
Each day, I dreaded the thought that he had counted wrong and that he wouldn’t be there the next day. I made every goodbye count. But he still showed back up, sometimes in the early morning, sometimes at night after I sent Anna away.
I sent Anna away every chance I got, but it was getting harder and harder to find time alone.
“Are you listening, my lady?”
Her sharp voice pulled me from my thoughts. I stayed up late talking with Rumpel the night before, and was then woken up by Anna early, so I didn’t get a chance to sleep well. The bed called to me, and I looked at it longingly, but was too aware of Anna’s tapping foot to give in to the temptation.
“I’m sorry Anna, tell me again.”
“I need to start on your dress, so I need to know what color you want.”
“Umm, white?”
“Yes, obviously, but what kind of white?” There was more than one white? Seeing my confusion, Anna sighed. Her patience with me grew thin. “Look at these swatches, pick one.”
She pushed fabrics toward me to peer at. Some were softer whites, some darker. One was bordering yellow. I didn’t want that. I picked the plainest white I could find.
“Finally. Now, we want to incorporate some of the country’s colors in the dress, so I was thinking either a blue sash or blue lace at the bottom, or blue stitching in the back.”
If I thought about all my options for too long it would make the whole process unbearably long, so my new strategy was giving the first answer that came to mind. “Do the lace. We can do a blue ribbon in my hair too, if you need more blue.”
Anna, looking pleased, went on to ask my about what style of dress I wanted. I groaned and settled back into my chair. We could be here for hours.
A knock at the door caused me to sit up. Anna dropped her things to answer it. “Your Majesty.”
I craned my neck, thinking she was referring to the king. Perhaps he was better, and I didn’t need to get married so soon. Instead, Conrad strolled in. “Ah, more wedding plans, I see.”
“That’s all I’ve been doing for a week,” I complained.
“Well would you like to take a break with me?” He held out his arm. In truth, I did want a break, but I wanted one by myself. Still, this was something of a win, so I would take it. I told Anna she could make all executive decisions on the dress and left her to work.
“Thank you for saving me.”
“I’m not fully saving you, I’m afraid. I do have a few details that I need your input on.”
I tried not to let my disappointment show too much, knowing that he was dealing with worse than I was. The King hadn’t gotten better, and while he wasn’t worse, the doctors were certain that he had a few months at best. Conrad was planning a wedding and a funeral at the same time.
Conrad led me toward the stairs we took to get to the King’s room a week ago. Before I could ask him if we were going to see his father, he told me our destination.
“Your room?” I hadn’t seen his room before, and I didn’t feel comfortable being alone in there with him.
“Yes, soon to be our room. There are a few changes that need to happen before it’s ready to host both of us.”
“Conrad, I like you as a friend, but I don’t like the idea of sleeping in the same bed as you.”
The prince blushed. “I’m not asking you to. Unfortunately, it won’t be an option to continue staying in your current room. To keep up appearances, we will have to stay in the same room. But there is a sitting room to the side that has a very comfy couch, I can sleep there for the duration of our marriage.”
I felt relief at his words. I was glad this wasn’t a topic that we would have to argue. “So, what am I needed for?”
Conrad stopped outside a set of double doors. “There are a few feminine touches needed, and since it’ll be your room, I figured it should be decorated by you.”
He pushed open the door. My jaw dropped.
The room looked like not one, but several storms had come through it. The bed wasn’t made, clothes were everywhere, books and papers scattered across the desk and floor and bed.
“You’re a slob!” I exclaimed. Conrad put up his hands.
“I am a prince, and I am a busy man. I don’t have time to clean my room every day.”
“You don’t have to do it every day, but maybe once a year?”
Conrad laughed. “My father is dying; I have more important things on my mind then the state of my room.” If it wasn’t for his smile, I would think he was hurt. I walked toward the bed, pointing at the papers.
“Did you sleep with those in there?”
Conrad laughed again. “Yes, and they survived just fine.”
I shook my head. He needed more than a few feminine touches. He needed to see the floor. “Don’t you have a maid?”
“I asked them to stop cleaning things when I started losing everything. I know it looks messy, but it’s an organized sort of mess. I’m going to have to ask you don’t disrupt it.”
I tiptoed around the room with wide eyes. Even Anika wasn’t this messy.
“When I live here, there’s going to be some order to the chaos.”
“That’s fine by me, I’ll clean up before the wedding. I have to, they are painting the walls and redoing the sheets.”
I turned around the room and tried to imagine what it looked like without the mess everywhere. “Maybe if there was a small bookshelf by the window with flowers in a pot, and a comfy chair by its side. That would make a sweet haven for me. And a soft rug, so I could go about barefoot. If we took down these hideous paintings, put up something softer. Why on earth do you have paintings of previous monarchs hanging in your room watching you sleep?”
He shrugged sheepishly. “It motivates me to be the best I can be.”
“I don’t think motivate is the right word. This person has murder in his eyes. I think scare is the word you are looking for.”
Conrad laughed so hard that he doubled over. He straightened up, placing his hands over his stomach. “This is why I need your help redecorating the room.”
My walk around the room continued as I tried to picture myself living here. There were a few windows on the outside wall, one of which led out to a balcony. The space overlooked the back of the castle, with the river and forest to one side, and the training grounds to the other. It was a tranquil image.
It would need to be cleaned before I could live here; there was no way I’d sleep in a room this messy. The disorder of it would drive me crazy. The desk alone, which currently overflowed with endless papers, would take hours to sort through. Some of them looked extremely important, with dark red seals pressed into the ink, and I wondered if the advisors knew that important documents were scattered around the prince’s room along with what looked to be a list of birds.
A different list caught my eye. Held in place by a short candle and empty cup, pushed up to the wall, a paper titled Boys at War lay with crumpled corners. Rumpel’s voice flashed through my mind from when he told me that Conrad forced boys to be soldiers. I gulped, turning slowly to study Conrad. He didn’t look nervous about me being near the papers, as one might be had they been hiding a secret. H
is was not the look of a man who forced young boys into a cruel war.
I trusted Rumpel, but I knew that he could be mistaken.
I also trusted Conrad.
The idea of sifting through Conrad’s things while he was away, watching him and trying to figure out if Rumpel’s claims against him were true, exhausted me. I didn’t want to do it. That wasn’t the sort of relationship that I wanted to have with Conrad.
“I need to ask you. Do you force boys to fight?”
Conrad’s eyes got wide and he crossed his arms. His voice was gruff as he replied, “What do you mean?”
I fumbled the page with my thumb. “I heard a rumor that you go to villages and drag boys back to fight for you, leaving behind a note for their families saying that they chose to go.”
Conrad’s head tipped in a slow nod. “Who told you this?”
“That’s not important. Is it true?” I watched him carefully, trying to evaluate his reaction. He didn’t seem offended at the accusation. Instead he moved his hands into his pockets and strode toward me with his eyes on the ground.
“I’m sure it’s not as your friend explained.”
That was as good as a yes.
Conrad explained, and I took a step back from him as I listened. “The war has been dragging on for years, and we hadn’t had new recruits in a long time. I traveled out to villages to see if the hesitation was because the people didn’t want to fight, or they didn’t know how to join. I found that many boys wanted to fight, but they didn’t think it was possible. Either they didn’t have the ability to come to the castle to sign up, or their families depended on them for an income. A lot of boys wanted to fight, and I knew if we had them on our side we would win. So, I helped them write letters to their families if they needed, and I send what money I can to their homes to help them get by without their sons.”
“But you didn’t force anyone to fight who didn’t want to?” I asked. That was the crucial part of the tale. Conrad tilted his head.
“I encourage them, but I don’t force them.” I saw no lie in Conrad’s eye, but his story didn’t line up with Rumpel’s.
The Storyteller’s Daughter Page 22