Before the Rains

by Dinah Jefferies

  Eliza steeled herself as she slowly walked to Laxmi’s rooms. To reach the older woman’s apartments she had to pass through four different corridors, usually patrolled by eunuchs. Eliza knew that the eunuchs were traditionally the guardians of women’s chastity and they helped maintain a barrier around the Maharani. But the inner apartments were always guarded by two women. Eliza nodded at these two and tapped gently on the door. Laxmi opened it herself and Eliza was relieved to see the older woman smiling warmly. Perhaps she didn’t know after all.

  ‘Would you like some refreshment?’ Laxmi asked. Dignified, proud and yet kind and generous too, she was gracious as always. Warm, friendly eyes, wrinkling at the corners, in an otherwise smooth-skinned face, were the only sign of ageing.

  Eliza asked for water.

  Today Laxmi was looking every inch a queen, in a mixture of blues and greens with trimmings of silver. Whenever Eliza was with her she always found herself sitting up straighter. Or maybe it was the grandeur of walls adorned with inlaid coloured glass mosaic and winged angels painted on the ceiling.

  ‘I hear you went into the old town for the Holi celebration.’

  Eliza gulped her water then put the glass down, spilling it on a beautiful mother-of-pearl table. ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, I’ll –’

  Laxmi waved her apology away and rang a little silver bell. ‘The handmaiden Sahili will see to it. She is very skilled. Do you know she came with me when I was a girl?’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘She was part of my dowry. Now look, my dear, I do not object to you spending time with my son. I hope you understand that. Indeed, it was I who suggested he take you to the camel fair and to the village.’

  It was true. Laxmi had definitely brought them together, though of course not fully realizing what might happen. Was she now about to pull them apart?

  ‘He had spent so long at school in England. He seemed bored and I assumed he would relish some English company.’

  She had spoken in a consoling tone of voice but Eliza held her breath.

  ‘But he will never be able to offer you anything more than friendship. Do you understand that, Eliza?’

  Eliza took a quick breath at the certainty behind Laxmi’s gentle probing. ‘Yes, of course.’

  ‘It really isn’t just that you’re English. There once were many marriages between Indian royals and European aristocrats, sometimes not even aristocrats. They used to be recognized as legitimate wives and their children as legitimate heirs. Then Lord Curzon passed a law that meant that no child of an Indian ruler from his European wife could succeed to the throne.’

  ‘I didn’t know.’

  ‘Although Jay isn’t on the throne, he would be if anything happened to Anish. Anish has no sons. A kingdom with no heir is wide open for the British to take over. But there is also a bigger issue. It is not that you are English, nor is it even that no child of yours could succeed to the title.’

  Eliza frowned. ‘I’m not sure what you mean.’

  ‘He cannot marry a widow. Other than the wife of his predecessor.’

  So that was it. She struggled to know what to say for a moment, but then managed to speak. ‘But I’m not looking for a husband, Laxmi. I promise you.’ She tried to push Jay to the back of her mind.

  ‘Then that is good. I just don’t want you to raise your hopes or see you hurt, or end up little more than a concubine, or maybe a second or third wife, hidden from the world. I hope you understand. Marriage here is not a romantic matter. It is a complicated case of working out a strategy that will improve the fortunes and status of both families.’

  There was a brief silence.

  ‘I daresay you will be happy to leave after the trouble with Chatur. Yes, I do know about it … so maybe it will be a good thing that you are gone before the rains, and not stay the full year,’ Laxmi added.

  This last comment struck Eliza with force and she was stunned by the implications. She stared at Laxmi’s intelligent face and wondered what the older woman was up to. She had always planned to be here for the start of the rains, and beyond. Not only did she want to photograph the finished initial stage of Jay’s project, she really wanted to capture something of the rains themselves. Everyone spoke of them in such reverent tones that she wanted to see for herself. Jay had said she should see the clouds rolling in above Udaipore, the city of lakes.

  Eliza nodded, but did not speak at first. Before the rains was too soon, and leaving was not in her plan. Clifford had arranged for a year.

  ‘I admit I like Jay,’ she said after a few moments, ‘but I need to be here for the rains and then the start of autumn. You need have no fear about my expectations.’

  ‘Be that as it may, let me explain a little more so that you truly understand. I’m thinking of you, my dear. It is prearranged that a Maharani is allotted higher status than a Rani, or second wife. A Maharani has a gorgeous apartment, eats off golden plates, wears beautiful clothes and is showered with gifts of jewellery. A Rani, whether she is second, third, fourth, or no matter what, will only have one room to call her own, maybe with her own small court, maybe not. A concubine is unlikely to even have a room of her own. So you see, status is everything.’

  ‘Like I say, I have no expectations regarding your son,’ Eliza said rather hastily.

  Laxmi nodded approvingly. ‘Women from European cultures are never truly accepted by our people. Our relationships with those we govern are specific and very special. The ordinary people would never accept a widow, you see.’

  There was a brief silence. Eliza didn’t know what more she could say to convince Laxmi that Jay was safe from her.

  ‘Anyway, I’m delighted to say that I have consulted horologists and several priests and it looks as if I have found an auspicious match for my son. A wonderful girl from a royal family who has an important dowry. I hope they will be married before long.’

  Laxmi had spoken with animation and was now smiling broadly, but Eliza struggled to conceal her shock. Did Jay already know? Had he already agreed to this? It was as if fate stood motionless above her, poised to mete out its punishment for that kiss, and she felt like crawling away to lick her wounds.

  ‘So I think we understand each other now. There is a strong practice of spying in all palaces and castles. Nothing goes unnoticed, my dear. Nothing. I would have said something before, only I didn’t want to interfere if there wasn’t anything to worry about.’

  ‘And you think there is now, even though he is to be engaged?’

  ‘I understand my own son.’ Laxmi paused and, in the pause, there seemed to remain a worry.

  Meanwhile, Eliza wanted to be somewhere else. It didn’t matter where, as long as she could find some comfort and the chance to still her chaotic thoughts.

  ‘It can be hard for a woman. You know, in the past, if a Rani or concubine was discovered to be having a liaison with another man, a death sentence was imposed. We used to rule with fear and awe. No woman of the palace would dare show her face to a man who wasn’t her husband.’

  ‘And you approve of all that?’

  ‘I wouldn’t say that. I do, however, believe in a wife’s duty to hold the marriage and her family together.’

  ‘Even if the husband strays?’

  ‘The husband?’ She laughed. ‘The husbands had so many wives and concubines. My father had three hundred. Straying, as you put it, was built into the system.’

  ‘And you don’t think the inequality was wrong?’

  ‘I only think that if a woman isn’t holding the marriage and the family together, who will? We are not men. It is different for us.’

  ‘I learnt recently that my father had a mistress. It destroyed my mother.’ It was the first time Eliza had spoken of it. In fact it was the first time she had allowed herself to even consider that her mother’s accusation might be true, but something about Laxmi seemed to elicit confession.

  ‘Men will be men, my dear, so far better to build a way to accommodate them into the system, don’t yo
u think? Then there can be no nasty shocks.’

  ‘You don’t have a very high opinion of men.’

  ‘On the contrary.’

  ‘And what of jealousy? Surely it’s human nature.’

  ‘Many of the Rani and concubines were, and are, good friends, but of course there is and was jealousy.’

  ‘And what happened then?’

  ‘Poisonings, more often than not.’

  19

  Eliza’s mood had altered drastically since her talk with Laxmi. What a fool she had been to indulge in such hopeless romanticism. From now on her relationship with Jay must remain on strictly formal grounds and, when she passed him leaving the entrance to her part of the building, she merely gave him a curt nod and then hurried past and up her staircase. She hadn’t paused to see what his reaction might have been and, once in her own room, she locked the door, her heart pounding against her ribs. She felt out of breath, even though she hadn’t been running, but, thinking about what had happened, realized that beneath the dignity Laxmi embodied there lay a will of steel.

  Perhaps Laxmi was right? Maybe the best thing she could do was to wind up this entire project as quickly as possible. Call it six months in Juraipore and then get out of this godforsaken castle once and for all. Dottie would agree with that, she felt sure. She would just take a few more shots of the royal family and some more in the old city, though of course she’d have to use her Sanderson.

  In fact Clifford had organized a picnic beside the lake just outside the town, and there she would tell him that she wanted to speed things up. As for Jay’s irrigation plans? He’d have to continue without her help.

  Nothing truly good lasts, she whispered, thinking of when she and her mother had left India to live at James Langton’s place in Gloucestershire. She’d thought he had wanted her there, that he’d welcomed having a child about the place, but then she’d been sent away to a third-class boarding school and she’d always believed it had been because he’d wanted her out of the way.

  Thinking of Clifford’s picnic brought back another memory. She recalled that it had happened just before she’d been sent away.

  The only time James Langton had accompanied Eliza and Anna on a little outing, they’d walked through sun-drenched fields with him carrying a picnic basket. It was early spring, and Eliza had felt so happy that he was so unusually joining them. But he hadn’t liked the chicken pies her mother had made, and when he accidentally sat on a cowpat, Eliza had laughed. He’d taken hold of her by the elbow, pulled her from the rug she was sitting on, and smacked her hard. She must have been almost thirteen and had found the episode utterly humiliating. She had run back home, crying all the way, and Anna had eventually returned home over an hour later, hair dishevelled and with the buttons on her dress awry. Just when she’d needed her mother’s love and consolation, Anna had taken Langton’s side; it had been a bitter betrayal.

  Eliza wasn’t in the mood for a picnic, but had dressed in a full-skirted fine lawn dress in palest green with a wide-brimmed straw hat. Several of Clifford’s acquaintances were to join them, and Eliza mentally prepared herself for an afternoon of small talk. Whatever might be wrong with the palace, you could never accuse its inhabitants of small talk.

  She was surprised when it didn’t turn out quite like that.

  The location of the picnic couldn’t have been more stunning. Servants carried armchairs, a table, fans and several enormous sunshades from the wagons and horse-carts. Everything was laid out overlooking a lake shimmering in the afternoon sunshine. Cranes, pelicans and storks gathered at the banks; there were even ducks on the water, and the trees lining its edges were bursting with the sound of birdsong. With the surrounding hills rising to blue in the distance, it seemed that Clifford had spared no expense and had thought of everything. Julian Hopkins, the doctor, and Dottie were always friendly, though Eliza felt a little guilty as she gave the woman a hug. She had promised herself that she’d visit Dottie but hadn’t done so recently.

  ‘Not too hot for you?’ Clifford asked as he pointed out a seat beneath one of the shades. ‘We could have gone down to the lakeside but the air is fresher up here. I hope you like it, Eliza.’

  ‘It’s lovely,’ she said, and watched the birds gathering at the water’s edge. ‘I want to take a few shots after lunch, later in the afternoon when the sun is a bit lower. I love to catch low-level light.’

  The others were talking amiably as the table was laid with a crisp linen cloth and the silver cutlery was set. There were even two tented enclosures that appeared to be made of silk with muslin roofs, and with no curtain on the side facing the lake.

  ‘They are kanats,’ Clifford said, seeing her looking. ‘Perfect for a rest after a long lunch.’

  She got to her feet and went over to glance into one. Inside it was heaped high with satin cushions, and three musicians had now set up beside it. The air smelt fresh and surprisingly cool and Eliza longed to relax a little, and yet all she could think about was Jay. What had happened the night of Holi had shaken her and left her feeling taut. She had not come looking for love, and of course it had not been love. But what had it been? Lust? Surely there had been something deeper that connected the two of them? She stood immobile, thinking this and facing the lake, staring but not seeing. Hadn’t he once said that heartbreak united them, though when he’d said it he’d included Indi too.

  ‘So,’ Clifford was saying, ‘what do you think?’

  ‘Pardon?’

  ‘Haven’t you been listening?’

  ‘Sorry, miles away.’ She waved vaguely at the view. ‘It’s all so beautiful.’

  ‘I was saying we should visit the palace on the lake at Udaipore. It’s the most romantic place in the entire world, especially in the rainy season.’

  ‘A place to fall in love, eh, Clifford,’ one of the men joked, and nudged the other.

  The other two men who were part of the small gathering were army, stationed down south, but the wife of one of them, who had accompanied them today, had known Clifford when she was a girl, so they’d come to visit on their way to her sister’s wedding in the Punjab.

  ‘Must be nice for you to be with your own kind again, Miss Fraser,’ the younger of the two men said.

  Annoyed at the assumption, Eliza just nodded.

  The woman, who was called Gloria Whitstable, spoke up. ‘I don’t know how you stand it. I couldn’t sleep a single night in one of those ghastly castles. I’m sure I’d be murdered in my bed.’

  ‘Actually,’ Eliza said, feeling a growing prickle of irritation, ‘I’ve rather enjoyed it. And I’ve not finished my year yet.’

  ‘I’m sure it’s fascinating,’ Dottie interjected, and Eliza shot her a smile.

  ‘I have news,’ Clifford suddenly said.

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘I’ve been asked if you’d consider going up to Shimla to undertake a short project. It’s a good offer and you wouldn’t survive in the heat out here. To be honest, Shimla is the only place to be. You wouldn’t have to live with the Indians either. It’s to be a visual record of the British at play. You know – the summer parties, the amateur dramatics, the club, all that sort of thing.’

  Even though she had been considering asking Clifford if she could wind up her current project a little early, now it had come to this Eliza’s heart plummeted.

  ‘Oh, we’ll miss you,’ Dottie was saying. ‘Though of course Shimla is wonderful. I’m rather envious.’

  Eliza felt even more guilt as she recalled how lonely Dottie had seemed. When she didn’t speak, Clifford looked a little hurt. ‘A thank you will do, Eliza. You wouldn’t be so alone and I’d get up if I could spare the time.’

  She still didn’t know what to say. Of course it would be a means to escape her current predicament, but she wouldn’t see Jay, and the depth of her feeling shook her. It was easy to think of leaving in a casual kind of way; much harder to face a concrete prospect.

  ‘Eliza?’

  ‘Sorry. I was just th
inking.’

  ‘Wouldn’t have thought there was much to think about. It’s a terrific opportunity.’

  ‘But I haven’t finished my year here.’

  He shrugged.

  ‘Did you ever intend it to be a year, Clifford?’

  ‘Of course. It’s just that this came up.’

  ‘Well, do you mind terribly if I sleep on it? You know, my camera isn’t back from Delhi and I wouldn’t want to miss out on something crucial for the archive.’

  ‘I’m sure you won’t, but be aware they want an answer by the end of the week, or they’ll go elsewhere. You can always come back here in September.’

  ‘You’ll have your answer. Sorry to be difficult.’

  ‘You’re not being difficult. I understand.’

  But it was clear from the marginally aggrieved look on his face that he did not understand. Eliza kept her thoughts to herself and was not about to enlighten him, but she continued to follow her own train of thought, ignoring the look on his face. As a sumptuous meal was set before them she already knew she had no appetite and, while she played with her food, she hoped Clifford wasn’t expecting her to lie down in a tent with him.

  ‘By the way,’ he said and gave a small cough, ‘there are a few problems with funding the irrigation project.’

  ‘I thought you said the money would be there.’

  He shook his head. ‘I hoped, Eliza, never promised.’

  ‘But Jay has to get the first stage finished by July, when the rains come, or all the work will have been for nothing. The rains will wash the banks away if the supports are not completed.’

  ‘I’m sorry. I did my best.’

  ‘So you’re saying there is no money.’

  He shrugged again.