Rubbing drops out of his eyes, he caught sight of a figure moving around in the garden.
Allie.
Matt stayed where he was, tethered to the earth. Though he’d already spent hours thinking about what to do next, he still had no answers. He had nothing to say to Allie… and yet, he longed to talk to her.
She’d hurt him, but he still ached to hear her voice, to feel her gaze on his face.
Thinking of her as “Allie” and not “Melissa” still felt odd. He wondered if he could ever get used to it.
“What are you staring at?”
Ma’s voice made Matt jump, and he hastily pulled his shirt back on.
“Nothing,” he mumbled.
She stood next to him, having snuck up while he watched Allie, hands on her hips. “What’s wrong, Matthew?”
Matt sighed, unable to meet his mother’s eyes. “It’s fine, Ma. We’ll work it out.”
Her lips twisted, real sadness in her face. With a pang, Matt realized that he wasn’t the only one who had grown attached to the shy, kind woman who had entered their lives.
“I promise,” he added.
She nodded. “You taking good care of my ring?”
“Yes.”
It was still in his bedroom, safely hidden away.
Ma patted him on the shoulder. “Good,” she said. “I saved you some breakfast. Come in and have it when you’re done out here.”
She headed for the house, and there was no denying what she meant by “when you’re done out here.”
Matt looked at Allie again. She’d set to weeding, and if she’d noticed his presence, she didn’t show any sign. He needed to talk to her, if only to say hello. As far as he was concerned, there was no animosity, only hurt.
And a lot of it.
Clamping his jaw tight and gathering all the grit he could, Matt strode for the garden. Allie was on her knees about halfway down the rows, tugging weeds out from around the broccoli. With her back to him, she didn’t see him coming.
Matt paused at the edge of the garden, uncertainty gnawing at him.
Allie stopped pulling weeds to wipe sweat from her forehead. Sensing him there, she turned around. Their gazes connected, her eyes going wide.
“Hi,” Matt said, the one word stilted.
Allie swallowed. “Hello.”
There was a smudge of dirt across her forehead, and some loose strands of hair stuck to her damp skin. He wanted to bound across the garden and push the hair to the side, but he held back.
Wanting a woman who had stabbed him in the heart didn’t sit right with Matt. It made him feel like he didn’t know up or down anymore, like he didn’t know who he was.
“I wanted you to know…” He trailed off, not sure where he had been going in the first place.
Allie’s lips drew tight. “It’s fine. I understand.”
Matt tilted his head. “No, you don’t.”
“Excuse me?”
He took in a long breath. He hadn’t meant to get angry.
“It’s fine, Matthew.”
Her calling him that wasn’t right. He’d been “Matt” since he requested she call him that.
Allie dropped her garden tool and straightened up. Taking that as his cue, Matt stepped over a few rows. He stopped a good yard away from her, though, the pea vines providing a barrier.
Allie twisted her hands in her apron, making it look like she was wiping them, but Matt got the sense she was trying to hide them.
“Are you going to send me back?” she asked.
Matt jerked back at that. “I already told you I won’t turn you in. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“No, that’s not what I mean.” She licked her lips. “Are you going to make me leave Shallow Springs now that I don’t have any right to be here?”
“I figure you have as much a right to be here as anyone else.”
“What about the right to be your bride? Do I still have that?”
When he didn’t answer—couldn’t answer—she nodded. “It makes sense.”
She started to turn away, and he reached his arm in her direction. “Wait.”
Allie slowly turned back, chin tucked, attention on him.
“I don’t hate you,” Matt explained. “I want you to know that.”
She nodded, looking uncertain.
“I… I still care for you… the same as I did before.” Her lips parted in surprise, and he worked to keep his voice steady against the heavy emotion dragging him down. “I wish you’d told me sooner. That’s all. You could have, and I’d have understood. It’s that you waited till we… I told you how I felt for you. I tried to give you my mother’s ring. You could have told me then.”
Allie’s face crumpled. “I couldn’t,” she whispered.
“And not that day down by the river?”
Her gaze dropped to the ground. “I wanted to.”
“Are you afraid of me? Do you think I’d do you harm?”
Allie peeked at him through her eyelashes. Her nonanswer was almost as bad as a “yes.”
“Right then.” Matt shook his head, feeling like the dumbest son of a gun who ever lived. He’d allowed himself to fall in love with a woman who didn’t trust him at all—and who likely never would.
Allie dropped her apron and tucked all that loose hair behind her ears. “I have never trusted before.”
Silence rang out, interrupted only by the distant mooing of the milk cow.
“No one?” Matt asked.
Allie wrapped her arms around herself. “My aunt… a friend or two… but that is all.”
I know nothing about her, he realized.
Here he’d been doing his best to connect with a woman reeling from the recent death of her brother, and he’d come to find out there was no brother. At least not one who’d been put in the ground a year before.
“Do you know that I care for you?” Matt asked.
Allie held her breath as she looked back at him. “I would like to believe you do.”
He started to retaliate, pointing out that she hadn’t given a direct answer, but he kept his mouth shut. Of course she didn’t know that he cared for her. She’d revealed a dangerous secret to him the day before, and now he held her future in the palm of his hand. The next move was his, and he didn’t have the slightest idea of what it would be.
He wanted to forget about the secrets, to fall into each other’s arms and move forward, but it wasn’t that simple. Who was this woman standing in front of him? She’d run from a dangerous man, but beyond that, he knew little.
If she was going to stay, they’d have to spend more time getting to know each other, more time building up trust.
If she stayed.
Maybe it would be for the best if she didn’t. Matt didn’t want to kick her out of Shallow Springs, but she could go live somewhere else. The few big ranches in the area always needed housekeeping and cooking help.
Yet, the thought of losing her made him ache. It was like his heart had burst and begun bleeding all over the place.
He didn’t know what to do. A night had brought no answers, and he was afraid a whole month’s more of nights wouldn’t either.
“I’ll keep your secret,” Matt promised her. It was the only guarantee he could make, but he would be true to it.
He ducked his face so she wouldn’t see right into his soul, and left for the house fast as he could manage.
20
20. Allie
Chapter Twenty
As he had all week long, Matt finished his meal within a few minutes. Dropping his napkin on the table, he jumped to standing.
“I need to check on Oatmeal,” he said, not looking at anyone in particular.
“Hold on now,” Harold answered. “You were out there twenty minutes ago. She’s fine.”
“It can happen quick, Pa. There could be a hoof already on its way out.” Matt went right for the door. “Great dinner, Ma,” he threw over his shoulder.
The door shut, leaving an uncomfo
rtable silence. Allie stared at her hands. The last few days had been this way. She had hoped she would eventually become numb to Matt’s distance, but that had not happened at all. Instead, she became sadder each day.
Harold sighed, and the sound was so pained that it made tears come to Allie’s eyes. Matt was not only detached with her; he’d been aloof with his parents as well. A family was being torn apart, and it was all her doing.
“I must speak with you both,” she blurted out before she could second-guess the words.
“What is it, Melissa?” Nicolette frowned in worry.
Allie pushed her plate away from herself. She was already nauseous, and the smell of the meal—though it was surely delicious—only made the sick feeling worse. She had been staying under the Dentons’ roof for two and a half weeks, and she could live a lie no longer. Not when doing so involved such wonderful souls.
She knew this extra confession could be her undoing. Harold and Nicolette were kind, but what if they did not believe her story?
She had come to the point where, in some moments, Allie almost didn’t care if they turned her in. She was tired of running, tired of lying. She wanted to be done with it all.
Still, she prayed that the two people in front of her would accept her story… and continue to accept her, as well.
“I am not Melissa Russell,” Allie said, looking between the two of them. “Melissa died last month, and on her deathbed, she requested I take her identity. You see, I am running from an awful man, one who will surely destroy me if he finds me. I told Matt, and he didn’t take it well.” The tears came, with Allie powerless to stop them.
“I am dreadfully sorry for lying to you,” she continued. “You have shown me only kindness, and I have repaid you with lies. My sin is heavy, I know, and God will judge me fairly.” Allie’s voice cracked. She could not go on.
Burying her face in her hands, she let go. Sobs racked her body, making her shake. With each shudder, more pain washed over her. Neither Nicolette or Harold answered, and she knew the silence to be a bad thing.
Perhaps she had reached the end of the line, she realized as she sat there and cried into her palms. If that was the case, so be it. She would face whatever came next. At least she had enjoyed the kindness of a family. At least she’d gotten a small taste of what it was like to love a man.
Without warning, an arm went around Allie’s shoulders. She gasped and dropped her hands. Nicolette had crouched next to Allie’s chair and was hugging her from the side.
“There now,” she soothed. “Crying is quite all right.”
Nicolette handed Allie a handkerchief, but the shock of what was happening had dried her tears. She stared at Nicolette, attempting to understand.
“You are not angry?” Allie asked.
Nicolette looked to Harold, who shook his head. “How can we be mad with a story like that?” He paused. “Of course, we’ll need to be hearing the details if you can provide them.”
Allie nodded eagerly. “Yes. I certainly can.”
As she dried her wet cheeks, Allie shared the parts she had left out. By the time her sniffles were gone, the Dentons knew all about Mr. Burke, Juana, and Melissa.
“Oh, child, you’ve been through so much.” Nicolette pressed a hand to her heart. “You need pie.”
Allie smiled. Pie was the last thing she needed—indeed, it was the sweet gesture of forgiveness that she so craved.
“Do you think me an awful person?” she asked them both.
“No,” Harold said. “You did what you needed to do in order to survive. It’s what anyone would have done in your situation. And you coming here, that was under Melissa’s blessing.” He looked at the ceiling and thought some. “It’s best we keep this to ourselves, though I imagine that was your plan anyway.”
“Yes,” Allie agreed as Nicolette set a slice of berry pie in front of her.
“Thank you for telling us the truth, Allie.”
Harold’s use of her real name made Allie want to cry again—but this time, from happiness. “Thank you for accepting me,” she whispered. “I only wish I had told you sooner.”
Nicolette sat down and rested her hand on Allie’s forearm. “You didn’t know us at all when you arrived. How could you be sure you could trust us?”
Allie nodded. “I still feel guilty.”
“Don’t,” Harold said. “Like you said, God is the one who judges. Work it out with Him. Don’t worry about anyone else.”
Allie fiddled with the fresh fork Nicolette had set next to the pie slice. “I worry about Matt.”
“What did he say?” Nicolette asked, an edge to her voice.
“He is bothered that I did not tell him sooner.”
Nicolette clucked. “Goodness.”
Allie chose her words carefully, wanting to be as honest as possible when speaking about another person. “I believe he feels that we became close enough last week and that I should have told him then. I cannot blame him for that.”
“Hm.” Harold scrunched his face up. “You’re the only bride Matt’s got. This will be a good exercise for him in moving past things.”
“He is very upset,” Allie said.
“I’ve seen,” Harold said. “And he’ll need to get over it.”
“But what if he doesn’t?” Allie swallowed. Life in Shallow Springs was no longer about surviving. The Dentons had accepted her for who she was, marred past and all. And if she wanted to, she supposed she could find another man to wed in town or take on a job somewhere.
No, instead, life had become about Matthew Denton. She needed his forgiveness. She needed his love. Allie could not fully explain why. Likely, his being her first suitor had something to do with it, but Allie knew deep down that it was more.
When Matt looked her way, her insides lit right up. She felt as if she were the very sun herself. That feeling was one she couldn’t let go of.
“I have hurt him,” she murmured, not realizing she’d spoken out loud until it was too late.
“And that’s a part of relationships,” Nicolette said. “People get hurt, even when everyone is trying their best. It’s whether or not you forgive and move on that matters.”
Allie nodded. She, too, felt this to be true. But Matt hadn’t even looked at her the last few days. Was it foolish for her to hold out in the hope that he forgave her?
What if moving on from him, leaving the farm and disappearing from his life, was the kindest thing she could do?
“I’ll talk to him,” Harold said.
“No,” Allie quickly answered. “I appreciate that very much, but I do not wish for you to feel you must. I have already burdened you enough.”
“Nonsense. You haven’t burdened us at all.”
Allie still felt no relief. “If Matt and I do not marry, I will need to move on. I do not wish to be a weight you support.”
“The wedding isn’t called off?” Nicolette’s voice went up at the end, and her eyes were alarmed.
“Not exactly,” Allie said.
“Then do not talk that way.”
Harold grunted in agreement. “Right. Matt ordered a bride because he has no other prospects. If he thinks he’s gonna get some perfect marriage without any bumps in the road, he has a wake-up call coming. Give it time, Allie. In the meantime, just tend to yourself and try not to worry too much.”
“Yes,” Allie said. They were sound words—simple, but some of the best advice she’d ever received.
She wasn’t sure if she could follow through with that advice, but she would ask God for help. She would wake up, perform her chores, and tend to her own state. If there was a rock in her belly through every hour, then she would accept that and do her best to remember it would one day dissipate.
A good woman does what she needs to do—that’s what Aunt Lena always said. Allie would do her best to take the adage further. She would do what she needed to do, and she would have faith throughout it all.
21
21. Matt
Ch
apter Twenty-one
Her Unexpected Destiny_Seeing Ranch series Page 13