by Nancy Bush
His tongue thrust between her teeth. Shock slid down her spine like lightning, touching the most feminine part of herself, leaving it throbbing. Her arms around his waist, she moaned weakly. His shirt had come off and she slid her hands experimentally over the taut muscles of his back, discovering the silky hollow at the base of his spine.
Somehow her dress became unwound. Dimly April was aware that she was completely bare beneath him except for the thin barrier of her panties. Her head reeled. She hadn’t counted on this!
“Jesse…” she murmured in a shaken voice.
His tongue was tracing the curve of her jaw. She could smell a spicy cologne mixed with his own powerful masculine scent. Involuntarily she inhaled deeply, and his lips moved perilously downward until they closed over the dusty peak of one dark nipple.
Sensations burst inside her like flames. April’s eyes flew open. She buried her hands in his thick, blond hair, intending to pull him away, but she was powerless.
“Jesse…” she gasped.
“If you want me to stop, I’ll stop,” he said in a strained voice.
She tried to form words. She couldn’t. He lifted his head, studying her face through eyes that smoldered. April moved her head slowly back and forth. She didn’t know what she was saying; it could have been no, or it could have been yes.
Jesse’s hand cupped her breast. He kneaded the soft flesh, his head bending once more to suckle it. Hot, wet, warmth filled April’s senses. She moved sinuously beneath him and wanted him so much that she throbbed with longing.
His skin was damp with sweat. With quick, lithe movements he unbuckled his belt and removed his jeans. He then lowered himself to her, resting his smooth chest on her bare breasts. He regarded her in his silent, unnerving way, and April met his gaze. She slid one hand around his neck and brought his mouth back to hers.
Somehow she slipped into a world of pure sensation. One moment they were kissing, the next they were both naked, entwined in each other’s limbs, poised on the brink of an experience April wasn’t quite ready for.
“We’re okay, Princess?” Jesse asked softly. She heard his voice from a long way away. She tried to blot it out. She knew that if she thought too hard, she would realize the consequences of what they were about to do. She didn’t want to know.
“We’re okay?” he asked again.
She didn’t know what he wanted to hear. She didn’t care. “Yes,” she whispered, dragging his mouth to hers, her hands around the back of his neck, holding him tight.
She felt the hard, masculine part of him against her quivering skin, but wasn’t prepared for his thrust of possession. Sharp pain stabbed through her and she cried out, reality washing over her in a cold wave.
“Shh. I’m sorry,” he murmured. “You sure we’re okay? I’m—”
“Yes, please!” she whispered urgently. “Please—”
Then he began to move inside her, slowly, cautiously. April stiffened, prepared for another painful assault, but the pain never materialized. Instead she was swept away on a flood of wondrous sensation. Her pulse pounded. She could hear his labored breathing, and her own shaking breaths.
“Jesse…”
His hips ground against hers. April held him tightly, wanting to pull him closer, closer yet. She smelled his warm musky scent and a building, pounding wave of desire pushed against her. Unconsciously she strained upward, arching, reaching. Twisting, she heard his moan of torment just as ripples of pure pleasure overwhelmed her. She cried out in ecstasy as Jesse reached his own peak.
Through a haze of sensual feelings April drifted back to earth. She was damp with sweat and stunned by the moment. She heard his ragged breathing, felt the pounding of his pulse. Pressing her lips hard against the taut, brown column of his throat, she smiled. “I love you,” she whispered in wonder.
Jesse didn’t respond.
Chapter Five
Jesse stood in the foyer of the Hollis’s opulent home and kept his gaze trained on Peter Hollis’s face. April’s father couldn’t hide his surprise and worry. His dark brows arched skyward and he said in a subdued voice, “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name the first time.”
“Jesse Cawthorne.”
April’s hand slid around the crook of his elbow. Protectively, Jesse thought darkly. “Jesse’s brother, Jordan, graduated with me last spring,” she told her father.
“Why don’t you both come with me to the back deck? Would you like something to drink, Jesse? Iced tea or a Coke?”
Hollis couldn’t have disapproved more if April had brought home a terrorist, Jesse decided. The man’s back was stone stiff, his expression caught somewhere between horror and shock.
“Iced tea, thank you.”
“I’ll get it,” April said brightly. She squeezed his arm. “Don’t worry,” she said into his ear a trifle breathlessly. “Everything’s fine.”
“Is it?”
She shook her head and held a finger to her lips, obviously unwilling to let him spoil her optimism. While April went for the drinks, Jesse stepped from the air-conditioned manor house into the sweltering August afternoon. Heat shimmered in the air. Nothing else moved.
“So you’re the mysterious boyfriend with the motorcycle,” Hollis said, smiling faintly. He settled into a chair at the glass-topped table. Jesse perched on the edge of the chaise lounge.
“That’s right.”
“I don’t like my daughter riding on a motorcycle, but she doesn’t seem to listen to me anymore.”
Jesse didn’t answer. Wary, he kept his eyes on April’s father. These last few weeks with April had escalated into something he hadn’t bargained on. He’d known getting involved with her meant disaster, but he couldn’t seem to help himself. She was an enigma; a beautiful, sexy temptress with an impish sense of humor and a warm, sensual nature. When he was with her they made love. When he was alone, he tormented himself with images of her long limbs and soft smiles. When he was at work he wondered what in the hell he should do.
The days had been idyllic. But he had a premonition of impending doom.
April appeared at that moment, balancing a tray of drinks. Her black hair was bound into a knot at the base of her neck. She wore jean shorts and a green tank top, and she shot him a quick smile, but it trembled nervously on her lips.
What I wouldn’t do for a beer, Jesse thought as he accepted the glass.
“I’m sure April told you she’s leaving for college in a few weeks,” Peter Hollis said. “What are your plans?”
“Dad,” April protested. “Give him a break.”
“I don’t really know,” Jesse answered, holding his resentment in check.
“How old are you?” Hollis asked.
“Dad!” April whirled on him, eyes huge with anger and hurt.
“Twenty-five.”
“Isn’t it time you decided to do something with your life?”
Jesse got to his feet. Carefully he set down his iced tea on the table. “Yes, I suppose it is. Thanks for the tea. I can show myself out.” He walked off.
“Jesse!” April ran after him, her sandals slapping against the tile floor.
He didn’t wait for her to catch up. He strode in cold fury out the front door and down the steps to the gate. She caught him as he was switching on the ignition of his motorcycle.
“You can’t just leave. My mother hasn’t even met you yet!”
“You think her reaction’s going to be any different?”
April’s eyes simmered with blue-green fire. In that moment, with the sun beating down on her, her eyes narrowed and glaring furiously at him through long, sooty lashes, Jesse was consumed with tenderness for this spoiled Windsor Estates girl. He reached out and pulled her to him.
“Let go of me!” she sputtered angrily.
For an answer he kissed her, grinning as she fought him, laughing out loud when she suddenly surrendered with a heartfelt sigh.
“I’ll see you later,” he told her, giving her a soft slap on the butt when
she showed no signs of releasing him. Reluctantly, she untangled her arms from around him.
As he drove away he was conscious of the curtains on one of the upstairs bedroom windows twitching.
The knock on April bedroom door didn’t surprise her. She had expected her father. And she was damn well ready to give him a piece of her mind. “It’s open,” she called in a cool voice.
But it wasn’t Peter Hollis who tentatively entered the spacious room. The slim, quiet woman standing in the doorway was her mother, Madeline.
“Mom,” April greeted her uncomfortably. Unlike her husband, Madeline was understanding and sweet and fair.
She perched herself on the edge of April’s bed, smoothing the satin coverlet. “Your father’s worried about you,” she said softly. “He said you had a fight today.”
“A fight is an understatement. I was furious with the way he treated Jesse. Mom, he was awful!”
“What did he say?”
“He said… well, he just made Jesse feel uncomfortable.” April sat down on the window seat, gazing across the road to Windsor Estates Park.
“Jesse is the boy who came here today?”
April gritted out, “He’s not a boy. Jesse’s twenty-five.”
Madeline didn’t comment. She seemed at a loss for words and April, though she didn’t want to admit it, understood why. Jesse Cawthorne seemed to be going nowhere. He was not a hot prospect for a lasting relationship, and her parents were clearly both worried. She squirmed a little inside; if she was honest, she’d admit it worried her, too. A bit.
“Well, when are we going shopping for school?” Madeline asked briskly, changing the subject, to April’s intense relief. “We’ve hardly discussed what you’re going to need, and you’ll be leaving soon.”
“Uh, how about tomorrow afternoon?”
“It would be better for me today,” she said.
April held her breath. Pressure seemed to be building on all sides. She didn’t want to think about college. She didn’t want to think about leaving Jesse. “I’ve got some things to do this afternoon,” April lied.
Her mother gave her a long look. “Okay, I’ll change my schedule so we can go tomorrow,” she said as she got to her feet.
“Mom?” April gazed appealingly at her, her pulse beginning to pound. “I’m not sure I want to go away to college. Couldn’t I go to a community college?”
Madeline drew in a deep breath. “Is your decision based on this boy?”
“He’s not a boy! I’m just not ready to leave home.”
“Last spring it was all you talked about. April, if you love him and he loves you, he’ll wait for you. You know, you just might find out you’re not right for each other.”
“Which is just what you and Dad are hoping for, right?”
Madeline shook her head, hand on the doorknob. “I wonder why you’re seeing him, that’s all. He’s not anything like your friends. In fact, I haven’t seen Carrie or Lance or anyone from your class hanging around. It just seems to me that you’ve decided to be with this Jesse, come hell or high water.”
Her footsteps retreated down the hallway. April’s throat burned. She squeezed her eyes closed and drew a breath. Why didn’t they understand? She loved Jesse. Every time they were together they made love, and it was the most wonderful, beautiful experience of her life. She couldn’t give him up!
A niggling doubt surfaced at the back of her mind. What was Jesse doing with his life? He worked at the mill and lived at home. He didn’t seem to have any other aspirations. If she married him, what kind of future would she have?
April jumped to her feet, hands clenched, hating her thoughts. Running away from them, she ran lightly down the steps. “I’m going over to Carrie’s, okay?” she sang out, grabbing her mother’s car keys.
“Be back for dinner,” her mother called after her.
April drove the station wagon with repressed fury. She wanted to see Jesse, but now he was working swing shift. He wouldn’t be off until eleven.
She circled aimlessly for over an hour, finally making good on her word and stopping by Carrie’s. But Phillip was there, and he made a point of ignoring April. Even Carrie was subdued.
April’s anxiety increased. She returned home long before dinner, then picked at her meal under her parents’ watchful eyes. The hands of the clock moved like molasses in winter. Stifled, she told her parents she wanted to drive to Portland and see a movie. Reluctantly they allowed her to go, and April drove by Jesse’s home again and again. She passed the time lost in thought until Jesse’s shift finally ended.
He saw her parked near the lot’s exit and steered near her, cutting the motorcycle’s engine. April rolled down her window, and he leaned his arms on the warm, metal frame of her door. “Want to meet on River Road?” he asked softly.
River Road was one of their favorite places. There was a quiet, shady glen about half a mile in from the road, not too far from Three Bears, but far enough to ensure privacy. April nodded, but for some reason her chest felt tight.
Jesse was standing beside his motorcycle, waiting for her when she pulled the car into the narrow turnaround above the river. She stepped out and was immediately cloaked by the night’s warmth. Insects hummed in the shadows. In the distance she could hear the river rushing over a stony reef.
For the first time since their relationship had begun, April felt uncomfortable. Doubts seemed to crowd her mind. She let Jesse lead her down the pathway they’d beaten to the glen, but once they reached it, she could only stand awkwardly near a large, smooth rock they sometimes sat on. Her hands were clenched.
“What’s wrong?” Jesse asked, the sound of his voice raising the hair on her arms. “As if I didn’t know.”
“My father’s a jerk,” April answered, but her voice lacked heat.
Jesse clasped her fingers in his, pulling her closer to him, into the intimate spot between his legs. He stared down into her eyes. “He doesn’t approve of me.”
“I don’t care what he thinks.”
“Yes, you do.”
“He doesn’t know you like I do.”
Remembering the curtain falling back across the window, Jesse asked lightly, “And your mother? What does she think?”
“She hasn’t met you yet.” April averted her eyes, gazing over his shoulder. She stepped away from him, away from his heat.
“You’re having second thoughts, aren’t you, Princess?” His voice was cool and mocking.
“Don’t call me that!” April whirled on him, furious – and miserable.
Jesse felt a constriction in his chest that was almost painful. He’d known this day would come, but he hadn’t known he would care so much. Still, this was April’s decision.
“I’m going away,” she said, sighing, sinking down onto the rock. “I don’t want to, but I am.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” She glanced up swiftly.
Jesse shrugged.
April clenched her teeth. She wished he would do something. Fight for her. Let her know how he felt. Get down on bended knee and plead with her to stay! Instead, he was as enigmatic as ever, and she wondered why she even bothered.
Her throat ached. Absurdly, she felt like crying. “Are you always going to work at the mill?” she burst out suddenly. “What are you doing with your life? Sometimes I think we’re going nowhere!”
Jesse head jerked back. “You mean I’m going nowhere,” he corrected her evenly.
“Yes!”
She hadn’t meant to say it. There were so many other things she wanted to say first. Now words poured out, tumbling faster and faster. “I think I love you. I want to stay with you. I can’t imagine leaving you.”
“Can’t you?”
“Jesse…” April reached out an arm, hoping for comfort, but he didn’t move. Feeling bereft, she dropped her hand slackly to her side.
“Go to college, April. It’s where you belong.” Jesse turned back
toward the trail.
April bounded to her feet. “And what about you? What about us?”
“This was a summer affair. That’s all. We both knew it.”
Her lips parted in distress. He didn’t mean it! She hurried after him, wanting to touch him, knowing instinctively that he would just thrust her away.
“You’re lying. I love you.”
Jesse turned on her, looking so furious that April stepped back. “Say that again and I’ll wring your neck,” he growled harshly. “Get the hell out of my life, and stay there!”
April’s mouth tightened, her nostrils flared in outrage. She’d had enough of his edicts to last her a lifetime. “Fine. I don’t want to see you ever again. I don’t give a damn about you!”
His hands clenched and unclenched. Then he laughed without humor and shook his head while striding the last few yards to his motorcycle. He flung one leg over the seat. “Goodbye, Princess,” he mocked, switching on the engine. “Have a nice life.”
“You bastard!” she cried, but he didn’t hear her. The noise was too great. With a spurt of weeds and dirt, he tore down the road, leaving her standing forlorn in the trampled grass.
Three days later April was standing on Jesse’s front porch, sick with regret. She needed to see him again. Three days alone had made her realize how she’d hurt him, how inadequate she’d made him feel. She’d proven herself to be a Windsor Estates girl of the first order. She wanted to die.
The door opened a crack. “Yes?” a cautious, feminine voice asked.
“Hello, my name is April Hollis. I’m, er, looking for Jesse Cawthorne.”
The door opened wider and April got her first close look at Jesse’s mother. She was quite beautiful, but years of work and despair had etched deep lines in her face. In one of his few moments of confidence, Jesse had explained that his father had left them when he and Bettina were children, and that Jordan’s father hadn’t been much better. He’d gambled away any money the family earned. It had almost been a relief when he died. Though Jesse hadn’t said it, April had gained the impression that his paycheck had long been his family’s main source of income.