I woke up about an hour ago. Sharron’s still sleeping, but I decided to go ahead and start my morning routine. I haven’t been shaving regularly since I moved out, and figured I better start back up. Sharron always liked me clean shaven. She hasn’t complained about the facial hair, but I’m guessing she will if I give her time.
“Morning,” she yawned from the doorway of the bathroom. I’d just lathered my face with shaving cream and picked up my razor.
“Good morning,” I smiled in the mirror as I puffed out my cheeks, prepared to remove the whiskers.
“Wait!” she exclaimed. I paused, setting the razor back down as she stepped around me and hopped up on the counter. “I kinda like you with a little scruff,” she nibbled her lip as she swung her feet.
“You always told me it hurt,” I grimaced as I glanced down at her now exposed thighs. Red marks marred the insides as if she had chapped skin.
“Sometimes it does,” she shrugged “but it’s sexy.” She looked away like she was embarrassed for admitting it before she started to hop down. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.”
“Shar,” I growled as I grabbed her arm when she tried to get past me. “Don’t do that. We need to talk about stuff. Even small stuff,” I warned.
“Fine,” she rolled her eyes. “I like the facial hair. I think you look rugged and sexy. It does stuff to me,” she huffed as if she was annoyed with the fact that I made her admit it out loud.
“Rugged huh?” I leaned closer with my shaving cream covered chin, “and sexy?” I leaned in and pressed a kiss to the side of her neck, leaving a huge blob of white cream on her.
“Yuck!” she squirmed to get out of my arms.
“Un uh, you said I was rugged,” I teased. “I’m never shaving again.”
“Never?” her nose crinkled and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Well, I’ll trim it up every once in a while. I need to stay sexy and not go all mountain man with my looks. I mean… the women love me.” I laughed but Sharron didn’t.
“What women?” she scowled as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Is there someone else?”
“What are you talking about? No. Do you really think that I would be here with you, fucking you seven ways to Sunday, if there was someone else?” I stepped back to really look at her. Sharron and I have never had any trust issues with our commitment to one another. “What kinda man do you think I am?” my voice rose and when she flinched I felt terrible. “I’m sorry,” I spit the words out as fast as I could. “There has never been anyone else, there never will be. I love you, only you, and the fact that you think I could just come here and be like this if I was with another woman… that hurts.”
“That’s not what I meant. I know you’re not like that, I do. It’s just… I don’t… I mean…god, I don’t know what I mean. I’m confused. I’ve been trying not to be like this, but where do we go from here? What’s going to happen in a few hours when we get back home?”
“Come here,” I opened my arms and waited for her to come to me. “I was thinking we could talk about that over breakfast. We’ll order room service, and make a plan.”
“Ok,” she nodded slowly. “I was gonna take a shower. Wanna join me?” she reached in and turned the knob from where we were standing.
“Sure,” I leaned in and placed a light kiss to her cheek, covering her face with the shaving cream that was still on my chin. I helped her undress as I loosened the towel around my hips.
When we stepped in under the warm spray, she looked up at me and cupped my cheek. “We’re gonna be ok, right? Tell me we’re gonna be ok.”
“We’re gonna be ok,” I leaned in and kissed her more fully on the lips. “Always.”
WHEN WE FINISHED our shower, Trevor ordered us breakfast while I dried off and blew out my hair. By the time I’d finished, breakfast had arrived. I rounded the corner dressed in a cotton robe to Trevor sitting on the balcony with the food spread out on the small table between two chairs. The warm spring breeze was blowing his hair around as he held a newspaper in his hands. “Come on out,” he called, causing me to jump.
“How did you know I was there?” I stepped over the threshold and seated myself in the other chair.
“I always know when you’re around. I can feel you,” he smiled as he folded the paper and set it off to the side. “Coffee?” he lifted a carafe and waited.
“Yes,” I groaned as he poured the liquid heaven into a mug and offered me cream and sugar. My legs bounced nervously on the concrete as I waited for him to say something. I felt like I did back when we were dating. The air felt thick, and I wondered what he was thinking. I hadn’t felt this nervous around Trevor since the day I told him I was pregnant with Ken.
“Damn,” I hissed as I stared at the two pink lines again. I’d taken a second test today because I wasn’t sure if yesterday’s was a false positive or not. Looks like it was a not. What the hell was I going to do? I had plans to go to art school. Trevor and I were going to go to college together. We still had half the year before graduation. How could I be pregnant? Well, I knew how I just thought we’d been more careful.
“Shar?” I heard him call from outside the door. “Are you about ready?” We’d planned to go to the movies with our friends tonight. My parents were out, and Trevor was supposed to be picking me up, only he was early and I had no idea how to tell him about this.
“Almost,” I tried to steady my voice but I was failing.
“Are you ok? You don’t sound good,” I could tell by the sound of him that he was right on the other side of the door.
“I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute,” I called back as I flushed the toilet. I tossed the test in the trashcan before taking a few deep breaths and looking at my reflection. I didn’t look any different. I wondered if people would be able to tell.
“We’re gonna be late if you don’t come on,” Trevor warned. Knowing that I wasn’t going to be able to get out of going, I slowly opened the door. Trevor was sitting on my bed tapping away on his phone. When my steps made the floor squeak, he looked up and smiled at me. “You look beautiful.”
“Thanks,” I whimpered. I’d been telling myself not to cry, but it wasn’t working. Seeing him sitting there so happy and knowing that I was going to ruin his life made the floodgates open. They were slow at first, but then the tears came harder, causing me to completely breakdown.
“What’s wrong?” Trevor scrambled over to me and wrapped me in his arms. “Shar,” he pulled back and gripped my shoulders as he stared at me.
“You’re gonna hate me,” I sniffed as the concern on his face made my eyes begin to well all over again.
“I could never hate you,” he hugged me tighter. “What’s wrong? Are you sick? Did you not do as well as you thought on that Physics test? Is it me? Did I do something?” his eyes scanned my face as he tried to make sense of my reaction.
I shook my head no before I turned away from him. I couldn’t face him when I said this. I didn’t want to know what he looked like when he realized what I’d done. “I’m pregnant,” I murmured. Nothing happened. He didn’t say anything, or do anything. “Did you hear me?” I turned to see him sitting there elbows on his knees, hands gripping his hair as he stared at a spot on the floor. “Trevor?”
His eyes lifted to meet mine, “Are you sure?”
I nodded, “Yes. I took two tests. Please don’t hate me. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“Wait,” he blinked a few times. “You think I’d blame you? This wasn’t something that you did on your own. I did this too,” he grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together. “We’re gonna be ok,” he swallowed. “We talked about getting married, starting a family,” he shrugged. “We’re just starting sooner than we thought,” he released my hand as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “We’ll tell your parents together. We’ll get married this summer, and figure it out. I promise…it’s going to be ok.”
“We’re going to be ok,” Trevor turned to face
me. “Relax,” he eyed my knee where it was bouncing.
“I can’t help it. I was so mean to you, and now after what I said in there… how can you forgive me so easily?” I twisted my hands together as I stared at him.
“I love you,” he shrugged. “I don’t want to move backwards. I want move forward. I can’t do that if I’m holding onto the anger,” he sipped his coffee and stared at me as if he thought it was that simple.
“So what do we do?” I swallowed.
“Well, first you let me move back in,” he sighed. “I need to be with you if we’re going to keep doing what we’re doing.”
“Isn’t that a little fast?” I cringed as I thought about what I was saying.
“We’re known for doing things fast,” he chuckled. “I can sleep on the couch again if you want me to,” his voice hitched as he said the words and I knew it was hurting him to even suggest it. “I love being with you, and just being in the same house is enough right now. I’m willing to wait for you to be ready.”
I thought about what he was saying, and it made me love him even more. I’d been sharing a bed with him for the last three nights. I knew when we got back to the house it would feel odd having him on the couch again. I honestly don’t know how I did it before. I missed having that hard body pressed up against me. I missed his warm skin, and the feel of his breath on the back of neck when he snuggled up against me. We’d always been like magnets. Our bodies sought each other out. When we were apart it physically hurt, and I never wanted to go back to that. Dr. Marlow had told me that the healing process was different for everyone, and to trust my gut. My gut was screaming at me right now to tell Trevor yes.
“You can’t sleep on the couch,” I lifted my eye to meet his. His face fell and pain washed over it as he slowly nodded and allowed a sigh to slip out. “It’s not big enough for both of us,” I clarified.
“What?” he blinked a few times.
“I don’t want you anywhere but beside me. You can move back in and sleep in our bed,” I smiled as I stood up and moved to straddle his lap, facing him. “I love you, and I don’t want to waste any more time apart.”
“Me too, baby. Me too,” he murmured as he captured my lips with his in a soft sweet kiss.
THE DRIVE HOME was a quiet one. I spent most of it lost in my head. I replayed the weekend over and over and let the memories imprint themselves in my mind. I knew it wasn’t something I could ever forget, but I wanted to keep that feeling for as long as I could. Going back home meant facing our problems. We already sorta did that, but being in the house again and having reminders of where I’d been slapping me in the face at every turn wasn’t something that I thought I was ready for. The city had given Trevor and I a fresh start. We were able to concentrate on us, and not worry about our baggage. Now I was going to be sitting smack dab in the middle of the baggage claim so to speak.
As the city disappeared and the rural countryside replaced it, I wondered if Trevor was as worried as I was. He didn’t seem concerned. He was always so calm and collected. I wondered if he ever lost it. “What’s going on in there?” Trevor reached over and squeezed my knee. “You look like the weight of the world is sitting on your shoulders.”
“Nothing,” I lifted a shoulder as I turned from staring out the window to stare at him. “Just thinking.”
“About?” he pushed.
“You,” I smiled softly.
“You don’t look very happy. What did I do?” he chuckled.
“It’s not anything you did. It’s just…” I paused as I thought about how to put what I was thinking into words. “You’re too calm.” I huffed.
“You want me to get upset? About what exactly?”
“I’ve been terrible to you, and you just accepted it. You never got mad at me,” I chewed on my lip as I waited.
“Shar,” he sighed before running one palm down his face. “We’ve been through this.”
“I know, I know. You love me. You forgive me,” I grumbled. “I need you to be mad at me.”
“What’s that going to solve?” he scoffed.
“It’s going to help me not feel guilty,” I crossed my arms over my chest in a pout.
“Women,” he grumbled. “Fine. You wanna know why I’m not mad anymore? I already got mad at you, but you were too lost to notice.” He flung one hand in the air before slowly pulling off the side of the road. We were probably about an hour outside of town and surrounded by cornfields. Trevor knew these roads like the back of his hands. “I came to you multiple times after I moved out. I yelled at you, shook you, screamed… nothing changed, so I gave up. If you ever came to my apartment you’d see that I eat off paper plates. Wanna know why? I broke all the glass ones one night. I came home and destroyed my apartment after a night out with my brothers. I’ve done all the things that you ask me about, but you were too far lost to notice. I’m over it now. I’m done being upset. I want to fix it,” his breathing was harsh as he blew out a deep breath. “Being pissed at you won’t fix anything. Forgiving you will.”
I swallowed as his words sunk in. Being pissed won’t fix it, forgiving you will. “I’m sorry,” I murmured. “I know I’ve said that a lot, but I really mean it. I wanna fix it too. I think we’re heading that way,” I offered a half smile.
“I think we are too. Can you stop questioning me now?” his head tipped to the side as he waited for me to answer.
“Ok,” I nodded. “I’m sorry.”
His head whipped back to face me, “and stop apologizing.”
“Sorry,” I squeezed my eyes shut as I shook my head. “It’s a habit.” I laughed.
Trevor pulled back onto the road and began to whistle as we continued our trip. “It’s pretty warm today. Wanna go swimming in the creek?” his smile turned wicked when he glanced at me.
“Sure, but let’s bring the kids,” I watched as his face fell. “We spent the last three days doing that. I want the kids to see that we’re gonna be ok. I missed them,” I reached over and squeezed his hand where it was resting on his thigh.
“They’ll like that,” he smiled softly before going back to his whistling.
I HAVE TO say I’m surprised in how quickly things are going back to the way they used to be. Our drive home was pleasant, and other than a few hiccups here and there we made it home still talking to one another. I’ve been worried the whole way that all the work I put in this weekend was for nothing, but Sharron seems to really be trying. She was all smiles when we packed a beach bag and walked through the woods to the creek. Mikey was excited, I can’t say the same for Ken. I didn’t expect him to want to come anyway. He’s a typical eighteen- year-old boy. He wants to be with his girlfriend, not his parents. When I was his age, I was dating Sharron, and knowing the things that we were doing back then, I’m concerned for him.
“Are you and Mom ok now?” Ken folded his long legs on the blanket we’d spread out as he plopped down beside me.
“Your mom and I have always been ok. It was just a little bump. She’s better now,” I clapped my hand down on his shoulder which was covered in a long sleeve shirt. “Aren’t you hot, Son?”
“Nah,” he shook his head, but I knew he was lying. Ken had never kept things from me before, but he wasn’t really a child anymore.
“You ready for graduation,” I nudged his leg.
“Yep, playoffs are coming up too. I’m just ready for summer. Sucks that I have to leave for school a month early,” he sighed as he reached over to the side of the blanket and began plucking at the grass. It was a nervous habit that he’d picked up from me.
“We’re proud of you,” I smiled at him. “Mom and I are both happy you said yes to baseball. I know it was a hard decision.”
“Un huh,” he muttered.
“What does Beth think?” I knew this had to be what was bothering him. He and Beth were a lot like Sharron and I. They met when they were a little older, but they’ve gone from study partners to dating, and now he’s leaving.
“She’s
happy, I guess,” he shrugged. “I didn’t really give her a choice.”
“If she loves you, she’ll wait for you,” I reassured him. “Something you wanna talk about?”
“Nope,” his lips sealed as he looked away and I knew that was all I was gonna get.
“Come show me that flip you used to do!” Mikey shouted from the edge of the creek. “Dad!” he whined.
“In a minute,” I waved him off. He was a daredevil like his Uncle Ty.
“Daaaaddd!” he whined again. “Ken’s just mad because Beth told him no.”
“No? No to what?” my head swung in Ken’s direction as I saw him turning a lovely shade of red.
“Shut it, Mikey!” he growled.
“I saw them kissing,” Mikey continued and I could feel the anger and embarrassment rolling off of Ken. “He was touching her and she pushed him away and said she didn’t want to,” he taunted.
“Are you having sex?” I hissed under my breath as Sharron’s head turned our way from where she was leaning against a tree, reading.
“No,” Ken grumbled as his hands fisted beside him. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“He’s mad they haven’t done it yet,” Mikey began laughing and Ken sprung to his feet.
“You shut up!” he screamed at Mikey.
“Whoa! Calm down,” I stood up and got between them. I didn’t think Ken would actually hurt his brother, but I could see how worked up he was as all this was coming out.
“Dad,” he sounded exasperated. “It’s nobody’s business what I do with my girlfriend. Did you talk to Grandpa when you had sex the first time?”
“Do you really wanna know about this?” I chuckled. “I was dating your mom in high school.”
Before the Cherry Trees Page 12