“Noah?” She called out softly.
“Hi.”
The beam from her flashlight danced and darted as she picked her way through the wet sludge over to where I was sitting. When she got a good look at me, she sighed. “Oh, Noah. What’s wrong?”
My mouth opened and I tried to form words, but nothing would come out. Instead, a few fresh tears began to clear a path through the dirt on my cheeks. She bent down to look at me.
“Honey, talk to me,” she insisted gently.
I wiped away my pesky tears and did my best to sum up in a few words all the terror, confusion, betrayal, and heartbreak of the last few weeks. “It’s all gone,” I said.
“What’s all gone?”
“My life. My friends. Malcolm. Paige. Gone.”
When I looked at her, she could see I wasn’t just fishing for comfort. So she didn’t offer any. Instead she plopped herself down in the mud next to me.
“You love those pants,” I offered apologetically.
She shrugged. “I can wash them.”
I went back to staring at nothing, as I summoned the last bit of energy I had.
“I don’t know what to do. I thought I could figure out how to live this way. I can’t. I don’t know how to be a vampire, and I don’t know how to be normal. I’m stuck, I’m lost, and I’m alone. I wish I were dead.”
“You are,” she smiled.
“Funny.”
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but you have me.”
“I’m a burden to you.”
“Only if you up and vanished on me.”
I hung my head.
“I’ll always love you, Noah. Whoever or whatever you are. You are a wonderful person, and you’ll always be my son. You’re going to mess up. Badly, even, sometimes. But, as long as I know you’re surviving, as long as I know you’re finding your place in this life, I’ll be satisfied. If you’re thinking about disappearing, put it out of your head, because the hole you would leave in my heart would be more of a burden to carry around than any of the insanity we’ve been through so far.”
I mimicked crumpling a piece of paper and tossing it. “It’s out of my head.”
“Good.”
We sat for a moment in silence.
“I still feel like I’ve lost everything. Malcolm hates me. Paige hates me. What am I supposed to live for?”
She thought about that for a minute. The sky was transitioning from a deep sapphire to a lighter hue.
“Here’s the way I see it. Malcolm and Paige don’t hate you. They’re mad at you, sure, but that’s because they both feel strongly about you. You’ve been dealt a bad hand, Noah. A real doozy. But like it or not, you’re going to live for a long time, so you’d better learn to live with yourself and the choices you make. Right now you have a choice. You can be the kind of man who picks himself up and soldiers on, even when it seems hopeless, or you can be the kind of man who sits in the mud feeling sorry for himself and doesn’t fight for what he has left.” Mom dug her hands into the soft mud, pushed herself up, and wiped her hands on her shirt. “So, which are you?”
She didn’t have to wait for my answer. We walked home together as the first eager rays of the sun crawled across the sleeping town.
“Mom, do you know a good flower shop?”
Chapter 20
Mom was right. I needed to grow up. Part of that was fighting to make things right. I stayed home from school the next day. It would have been difficult to sort out my thoughts in the chaotic halls of W.T. Whitehaven. When it came to Paige, I knew I couldn’t undo all the damage I’d done in one grand gesture, but I was sure going to try.
I waited for the sun to set and family activities to subside. Then in the comfort of darkness, I went to work. It didn’t take me long. It was just before eleven-thirty when I started tossing pebbles at her window. .
It didn’t take long for the lights to flick on, casting a soft warm glow that emanated from her window and diffused into the night. I waited anxiously for her to draw open her shades. When she did, her initial irritation quickly melted into surprise.
What she saw when she looked down from her window was a map of the world, illuminated by the bright full moon and the light from her bedroom. Each country was defined by a border of brilliant marigolds, her favorite flower. A small amber candle burned on the spot where we lived.
“Oh my, Noah. Um, what are you doing?”
“I just wanted to tell you why this place,” I pointed to the candle, “is my favorite place in the world.”
Paige sighed, skeptical. “Why?”
“Because it’s where you are.”
She opened her mouth to protest but I interrupted.
“I’ve done so many things wrong, Paige, but the one thing I did right was fall for you.”
She closed her mouth.
I went on. “I didn’t realize it until recently, but I’ve been floating through my whole life. I’ve been coasting from day to day, year to year, letting things pull me one way or another without ever taking a real stand. Without making an actual choice. It took some…well, some pretty traumatic stuff, including the thought of losing you forever, to make me realize that’s not how I want to be. That’s not who I want to be. I want to be someone who deserves you. So, I’m making my choice, right here, right now. I’m not going to leave until you agree to go to prom with me as a date. None of this ‘friends’ stuff. We’re so much more than friends, and you know it. I’m ready to spend however long it takes out here for you to forgive me and say yes. You’re worth every second.” I smiled with all the warmth my frozen body would muster. I smiled because what I said was true.
After a second Paige laughed and shook her head.
“You know that’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard?”
“You know you’re beautiful?”
“You know you’re ridiculous?”
“You know you’re amazing?”
“You know you’re setting fire to my lawn?”
“Yow!” A couple of ill-fated marigolds had been ignited by the candle’s feisty flame. I quickly patted down the fire that had burned a fair-sized gap through the West Coast. Once I was sure it was out, I directed my attention back to Paige, whose giggles were like Christmas bells in my ears. I shrugged.
“Paige, I hope you know how sorry I am. You deserve nothing but the best all the time.”
“You bet I do,” she teased.
I picked up one of the marigolds that was lining the decimated coast, got down on one knee, and held it up as an offering.
“Please forgive me.”
“I’ll forgive you…if you come kiss me right now.”
In that moment I swear I could have flown up to her window. Instead, I got up and brushed off my knees. Then I walked into the house, up the stairs, and into her arms. This time I didn’t hesitate.
I kissed her.
A shock of energy and warmth surged through me as I pressed my cold lips against hers. They were unbelievably soft, like satin. I felt a shiver run down my spine as our breaths merged. She tasted like honey with a hint of wintergreen. My eyes were closed, my senses absorbing every intoxicating detail of her taste, her scent, the feel of her mouth on mine. I didn’t hear anything but the movement of her breath.
This was Paige. This was right. This was love.
****
He stared back at me with cool brown eyes that belied little of the torrent of fear just beneath the surface. His hair was perfectly structured, smoothed back with just a touch of gel. His face was a calm, handsome mask, and he stood statuesque in a simple all-black tux with a black skinny tie (no bow tie for this guy). I almost didn’t recognize myself.
“Dang, Noah, looking good!” Malcolm appeared in the mirror behind me.
As it turned out, Rick had a prior arrest for sexual battery in another state that never came to anything because the victim had disappeared. Go figure. That record included a DNA sample and, in conjunction with evidence they found on Bra
ndie’s body, the authorities were able to track him down and arrest him for murder. Smug lunatic that he was, he confessed to killing Esther Jones, as well as four other girls over the last three years, but refused to lead the cops to their bodies. Once this information hit the airwaves, Malcolm started to question his certainty about my involvement. He realized that Rick had been at this for years and that none of the autopsies had revealed any bite marks. Tail solidly between the legs, Malcolm came around, asking my forgiveness.
Finding all this out, my mother was shocked, saddened, and disgusted, but she did me the courtesy of not asking how I’d known. Just that I’d known and warned her seemed enough.
Malcolm straightened his bow tie—he could really pull it off. I smiled at him in the mirror.
“You’re not so bad yourself!” I replied.
“Aw, shucks.” Malcolm feigned humility. “Now what do you say we forget this little love fest and go pick up our dates?”
“Aren’t we waiting for Aaron?”
From downstairs I heard my mom suddenly call out. “Honey! Your friend Aaron’s here!”
Malcolm grinned and opened his arms wide as if to say, “There you go.”
“All right, let’s do this thing.”
We skipped downstairs and greeted Celia’s date with a fist bump and the obligatory, “Nice tux!” I didn’t know Aaron very well. We’d had several classes together throughout the years, but he’d always been part of a different crowd. His sometimes surly but mostly confident demeanor seemed a perfect foil for Celia’s hyper antics.
For a minute, I thought there was a good chance of us escaping the house before the camera popped out. Alas, I was mistaken.
“PICTURES!” Mom squealed as she came running around the corner with an old point-and-shoot.
I rolled my eyes at the guys in lieu of a verbal apology as we squeezed together, arms over shoulders, and plastered on our go-to picture smiles. As soon as Mom was satisfied, Malcolm, Aaron, and I all piled into Aaron’s dad’s silver Escalade. We’d talked about it and decided that not only was a limo a waste of money, it was, in Malcolm’s words, “tacky as all get out.” The girls didn’t seem to mind, especially since the drive to the dance was a whopping eleven minutes from Paige’s house.
When we arrived, the girls were ready, probably for the first time in history. They emerged from the house, gliding down the front steps like ethereal creatures, so endearing with their nervous mannerisms: a tuck of the hair, a smoothing of the dress, a touch of the earrings. I was unprepared for Paige’s beauty.
Softly backlit by the glow inside the house, Paige stood on her porch in a stunning yellow satin gown, vibrant and elegant. The shimmery cloth draped softly over her petite figure in a way that inspired all kinds of unsavory thoughts. The neckline was a soft V and the straps were spaghetti thin. She smiled radiantly at my reaction (was I drooling?), and did a quick little spin to give me the full show. The back was low and the straps crisscrossed over the center.
“Ah…”
She glided over to me. “That’s all you’ve got for me? ‘Ah’?”
“I mean…wow!”
“Really?” she asked giddily.
“Oh, yeah.”
“Get a room, you two,” Celia teased.
But nothing, not even Celia’s sarcastic comments, could take away from that moment. I knew for a fact that I was by far Whitehaven’s luckiest guy. Vampire. Guy vampire.
The journey to this moment had been long and trying, but I felt I could finally put it behind me. And now I was here, taking Paige to prom. For the first time since I’d been turned, I really felt like I could breathe. Like I could dream.
After a pricey meal at Il Trattoria (Paige and I had decided that we had to rebaptize the scene of our intended first date with good memories), we were off to the dance.
The gym had been transformed from a hot, rubber-smelling torture chamber into a tinsel and papier-mâché happy forest of sorts. The lights above cast a soft turquoise light on the decorations, glinting prettily off the silvery tinsel strewn about in this enchanted forest. I had to admit, for a Whitehaven production, it didn’t look half bad.
Entering the gym, Celia clapped her hands and squealed with glee, planting a big wet kiss on her date’s cheek. Even Classie, in her thirties-inspired forest green gown, seemed impressed.
“I see no unicorns,” Paige said in mock disgust. “Where are my unicorns? I’m out of here.” She turned as if to walk out, so I caught her by the arm and pulled her in close to me, hugging her from behind.
“I’ll find you a unicorn,” I teased.
“Good. Because they totally exist.”
“Totally.” I would never admit it to anyone, but after all I’d seen, I wasn’t totally sure they didn’t. I glanced over at Malcolm and gave him a “Can you believe we made it?” smile. He smiled back, then without hesitation, took Classie’s clammy little hand and led her out to the dance floor. Aaron followed suit with Celia. I turned to my lady and held out my hand like a distinguished gentleman.
“Care to dance?” I asked in a British accent.
Paige draped her hand across mine. “Why, yes, that sounds lovely!” she responded.
As we walked out to join the rest of our group, who were doing some sort of robot dance to a Black Eyed Peas song, I got the distinct feeling I was being watched.
I did a quick scan of the room around me. I saw nothing but the distracted, excitable faces of my classmates on the most overhyped night known to high school. I was just being paranoid.
“You looking for someone?” Paige asked.
Apparently, I wasn’t being so subtle. “No, just thought I saw a unicorn.”
Paige giggled.
It was time to let go. It was time to get down. We squeezed through the crowd to our friends, just as Taio Cruz’s “Break Your Heart” blasted through the speakers. We formed a little circle and immediately began dancing like crazy. Malcolm and I weren’t dancers, exactly, so we jumped around shaking our hands over our heads while the girls skillfully rolled their slender bodies around, shaking their hips like Shakira. When the song reached the chorus, we all screamed along with the words and pumped our fists in the air.
Here I was, a true-blue, homegrown, honest-to-Satan vampire dancing around like any other high-schooler at his senior prom. I wasn’t a monster. I was just Noah. And I always would be…forever.
I slipped my hand around Paige’s waist and pulled her into me. We danced together like that until her face was glistening with beads of sweat. Finally, the DJ gave us a break and played “Fade into You” by Mazzy Star.
The crowd dispersed, leaving only the couples on the dance floor. Paige draped her arms around my neck and moved in closer. My hands rested lightly on her satin-draped hips. The softly colored lights flowed over her features, and I couldn’t look away. Her deliciously sweet scent carried a hint of spice. She looked up at me, and I saw only love in her eyes. Slowly, I moved my face toward hers, as though our breath was a single thread pulling us together. We kissed tenderly, her soft, warm lips on mine. Again I felt a sudden surge through my body that ran a shiver down my spine. When we pulled apart, we just gazed into each other, unwilling to break the spell. I don’t know how many songs we went through like that.
“So what are these super-secret post-prom plans I keep hearing about?” Paige asked coyly.
“I am going to kill Malcolm.” I shook my head.
She laughed her magical little laugh.
“Well,” I leaned closer, conspiratorially, “I guess you’ll just have to find out.”
It was probably lame, but I had planned a moonlit picnic at her favorite park. It was a smaller park on the outskirts of town, but it had a nice lawn, some beautiful weeping willows, and a pretty fountain featuring a pixie statue. I had the basket ready to go in the back of the car.
The music picked up again, and we rejoined the crew for some dance-party madness. Before long, Paige was ready for a break.
“You w
ant to get something to drink?” She asked.
“Sure.”
She grabbed my hand and weaved her way through the throng of students, towing me along. Suddenly we were in the hallway.
“The drinks are inside,” I said, oblivious.
“Come on!” she whispered excitedly.
“Huh?”
All of a sudden she took off down the hallway, her yellow dress waving behind her. I followed after. She darted like a sprite around the corner and down another half-lit hallway, looking back over her shoulder every few seconds with a cheeky smile on her face. When I caught up to her, she opened the door to our history classroom.
“I thought they locked all the doors at night.”
With a glint in her eye, she pulled off a piece of duct tape that held the locking mechanism from closing. She pulled me into the class and closed the door behind us. “It’s locked now.” She shrugged.
“Aren’t you a little devil!” I almost didn’t get those words out, because without warning, Paige pulled me into a passionate kiss. With one of my hands around her back and one in her hair, we kissed like we had never kissed before. There was so much heat between us I thought I might disintegrate right then and there. We were totally and utterly lost in each other, clinging like shipwrecked sailors to driftwood. Nothing else mattered. It felt as though nothing else ever would. I’d never known perfection before that moment. I realized that this memory would live forever, untouched and unspoiled by circumstance or time. It would be the light in my still heart, burning like the sun for as long as I existed. This bittersweet knowledge was almost unbearable and made me ache for her even more.
At first I didn’t notice, but the ache began to grow. Began to spread. I came to the realization that it was gaining strength and power as it grew; morphing into the dark and sinister bloodlust I’d been so good about suppressing. I gently pulled away from Paige, tucked a loose strand of auburn hair behind her ear, and smiled.
“I’m going to get a quick breath of fresh air. When I come back, I’m going to take you onto that dance floor and we’re going to dance until you can’t dance one more step.”
I Heart Vampires Page 25