by P. S. Power
He kept holding her as he gently shifted back and forth.
“Right. Rolph, Prince Alphonse Cordes. After we finish this meeting, and see to your sister's needs, you're going to go and apologize to Maria Ward, bang your head on the floor and cry about the damage you've caused, with a complete list of all your flaws and shortcomings if she wants one. Then if she wants, you'll let her slap you around until her arms won’t move anymore. Understood?” Tor didn't even look at him, his main focus going to the Princess in his arms.
“Yes…”
“Good, be ready to mean it too, from the bottom of your soul, because you're wearing a truth device if I have to shove it up your royal ass. They aren't that big and with your sister’s help and some lubricant I'm pretty sure we can do it. Now I don't much want to touch your red fuzzy butt myself and I'm certain they don't, but if you force it on us, we'll just have to deal, wont we?” This came out in a low growl that made his throat hurt.
“I'll wear it! God Tor, what's going on? You've never told me to do anything before, except wear my shield, and even then you came at it obliquely. Why is this so important to you? It was a long time ago and I barely even remember it.”
Why was it? Seriously, he had to tell him this stuff?
“Because you're a better person than that. You don't do that, and you don't let things like that just go if you do mess up. That's why. This isn't about her, not now. An apology now won't help her at all, too much time has passed. It's about you and the kind of person you already are. No one wants to live in a kingdom with an heir that won't make things right if he screws up. I'm just here to help make sure you don't forget that.” At least this came out sounding a little less like he actually intended to shove things up his friends behind.
Tor sighed softly. A year ago he wouldn't have even gotten why that was dirty, not in a sexual way at least. Of course given how huge his friend was, nearly seven foot tall now, if it ever came to it, he definitely wanted to be the one shoving and not receiving.
The idea made him want to shudder a bit.
That was the easy part. Getting Rolph to do the right thing rarely took more than pointing it out after all. The hard part would be getting the story of her misery out of Karina. It was cowardly of him to want to get away from it, so he sat and let her cry and held her tighter than he ever had before. They were friends and he'd given her loads of stuff, but that was just because. She'd wanted the things, so he'd given them to her. Varley didn't tattle about her sister’s pain, and if the Prince knew he was doing a really good job of acting like he didn't.
Finally, unbidden, the girl in his arms, head never lifting, explained.
“It's Lilli. Since she got her eye fixed, well, she's pretty now, and she met this guy, and so, well, she told me that she loved me and we were close for a long time. We talked about how we could be together even after we were both married, but it was all a lie. I overheard her telling everyone how she was just using me to get magic and how bad I was in bed! She said I was a slut, but I've hardly been with anyone compared to her. She found a guy, she said and he gives her things, stuff you made, worth thousands of golds, and now no one will even talk to me… Everyone is gone. I have no lovers or friends or anything.” He'd never heard total dejection before he realized, not even when he'd thought his own life was over. It tore at his heart and nearly made him cry.
Oh. Well, crap.
“I see. Well, that's not going to last long, is it? Box only has so much to give away after all. I gave him a few things to pass along to some girl that's basically whoring herself for trinkets. I guess we know who that is now. He's trying to string them out, but… I guess in a way it's my fault. Well, she's only one of your friends. Aren't you arranging a marriage to David Derring? He's a good sort. Probably my favorite Countier, and that's including my own brothers.” It was a desperation move, since as far as he knew she'd only met the guy once, maybe twice.
She shook her head.
“No, the bloodlines don't work out. It seemed OK at first, but the lines are just on the wrong side of close. He was sweet about the whole thing and… we had sex first, before we knew, it isn't dangerous close, but not socially correct either. Only a little gross though, second cousins more or less. So that's not happening. Everyone is gone. Everyone…” She sobbed again, wet sounding and runny.
“Well not to deny you your moment of grief, which it sounds like you've earned… Been there myself a time or two… Seems to me I wasn't very constructive about it either, made a super-weapon and acted like an ass to a bunch of innocent people mainly. I hope you can skip that part? It's not worth it in the end. It feels like the only way at the time, but it's not. Remember, people love you. Real people that actually count. Your real friends. People that do more than use you for things.”
She sniffled loudly and half wailed at him.
“Like who? And don't say my family! They don't love me, they just put up with me because it's easier than explaining how a whole Princess disappeared. Everyone loves Varley, and Alphonse is the god of men and love of women everywhere…. I'm just the one that… is. The filling in the middle that everyone kind of wishes wasn't there at all. Trout pudding in a cream roll. Mom and Dad haven't even tried to really teach me how to rule. They've taught Varley instead. What does that mean? If Alphie dies I'm not going to make it long am I? Probably a good reason to keep him alive, but not very reassuring as to being loved, is it?”
Ah. Not good. Even if there was an innocent reason for it, trying to really explain it to a distraught and hurting person wasn't going to be easy. Even if she was just wrong, that she thought it was true was enough.
The Prince stood and paced for a few seconds.
“I know why that is, but… Karina, you're not going to like it. I… I promised not to tell you, but I had to know, being the heir… When you were born the doctors diagnosed you with a rare and horrible disorder, I can hardly say the name, it's too awful…” Tor could sense the attempt at humor and frowned. It was the wrong time for it.
Rolph did that, tried to use humor when things got stressful for him.
Horrified Karina looked up, “really?”
Great. Just wonderful. The punch line approached and Tor knew it was going to be bad. He hugged her tighter and shook his head.
“Rolph, don't. It's just a stupid joke Karina. He's going to tell you that you're full of shit or something equally stupid. Then tell you that you have been getting the same education he has, if with less math and what Varley is getting is mainly so when she ends up the Countess whatever or even a Duchess, she can be of value to her husband and her people. What are they teaching you?” The question was a good one, she'd mentioned it to him once, how different her classes were than the others.
“Um, history, geography, fighting, useless stuff to keep me busy while everyone else learns about money and useful things like that. And I take notes for the Counts Council. Endless gods awful notes. My hand aches right this moment from it.” As if to prove her point she rubbed her right hand pitifully and a little girl sad face by pursing her lips just a little, holding it out so Tor could see.
It came to him in a flash, a deep thing that he didn't really understand, but it was right. The feeling was there, the sense of wholeness, a real plan, not just happenstance.
Tor started crying.
It looked weak and stupid, but he didn't hide it. She needed to see that he cared. That was more important than his ego. Wasn't it? Finally she asked him what was wrong, looking perplexed.
“Don't you see? Gods it's so unfair… Rolph, Alphonse, has been trained to be a King during a time of peace. You're being trained… to take his place when everything else is lost, and all that's left is war. Then Varley, you'll need her to take over to set it all right. Because if it comes to it… I don't think anyone expects you to survive the war either. Or if you do… I don't think you'll be exactly… sane. Not the way they're training you, certainly not a good leader for peace at any rate. If that happens you'll ne
ed to step aside, and let her take over for the good of the kingdom.” He held her as Rolph gave him a shocked look and started crying too. Fat tears, real ones, rolling down his cheeks silently.
Varley looked at her brother.
“You knew all this? I mean, it makes sense, now that it's pointed out, but, you knew?”
“Yeah. For a couple of years. It's why I was packed away to “learn to be humble” school and she was encouraged to practice fighting, and learn the history of war and battle while being a little wild. Not reckless, but tough. Hard. The kind of person that sees death dust eating her cousin’s arm and not only figures out what to do, but does it. I would have frozen. I couldn't have done it and then Trice would be dead. Oh, she may never thank you for it, but you saved more than her life. A lot of people hang in the balance with her. More than I can say…” Frustratingly he didn't say more. Tor was tempted to try and get it from his field but didn't. Not every secret was for him to know. Not even about Trice. It nagged at him, but that was just too bad.
As if to make the point for him his friend just shook his big head and said he couldn't tell him or let him know. But that he should love her as best he could.
Not cryptic or anything. Not at all.
Karina seemed slightly shaken, but didn't keep crying at least. Tor just felt tired. Couldn't any of them just be kids? Just do stupid stuff, get married and have a job? They all looked pretty bad, except for Varley, who hadn't been beaten or crying. Tor passed the healing device. It didn't change Rolph's eye color, so that only happened with severe ocular damage? Well it was something. He needed to fix that though. Brown was OK, but things like Karina's old friend Lilli could happen, and leave mismatched eyes. Or the device could fail to heal her of bitchiness at all. That was an obvious design flaw on his part. He apologized to Karina for it, getting a weak laugh.
It was something at least.
When they went back a plan was outlined. He'd get his three days to work, starting right after Alphonse came back from apologizing, then, if Maria could handle the sight of the Prince at all, he'd come back and try to make sure Tor didn't work for two weeks. Possibly longer. Tor didn't like that part at all. It sounded like a trap, not a reward for a job well done. Then, had he done well?
Well, he was alive, but really, he could have done that even better staying in the woods where he'd come from. No one even tried to kill him there.
The tiredness didn't leave, it wasn't, he didn't think, a thing of the body. He didn't feel heavy or worn out, just tired. Inside. Like he'd seen too much and it wasn't setting right, dragging him down. So far down.
Rolph was sent into a room alone with Maria and neither came out for hours. A few people smirked as if they were having sex, that being Trice mainly. She kept staring at him too, but didn't say why. It wasn't as glaring now, so that was an improvement. Now she just looked… considering or something. What she had to consider about him Tor didn't know at all. Probably that he better be working on her arm, time off or not.
Which was a good point.
When they came out both had obviously been crying and Rolph had been hit at least a couple of times, a nice bruise forming on the left side of his face. The Prince still had the truth device on and going. Tor was curious as to what was meant, but it wasn't his business, was it? As long as people stopped trying to kill him over it, that was enough. Hopefully this put the issue to bed and they could get on to ruining their lives in whole new ways, maybe with someone else catching most of the fall out next time?
Nah. Tor didn't like to lie to himself. This wasn't over. The wounds went too deep for too long.
After he'd gone in to how he'd made the flower arrangement for her, the one she threw in his face almost immediately, she hadn't bothered to even acknowledge that he'd done a good job. It was a little enough thing, but shouldn't someone have said something? Sorry? Oops? Good thing it wasn't a glass vase? Not brilliant things to mention, but saying nothing was worse, like announcing that he didn't matter at all.
He didn't, but that didn't mean she couldn't try to make him feel better about the whole thing. Yes, she'd apologized before, but it had been hollow and done to prevent a war and get him to help them, nothing more. She wouldn't have done it if not for that. Would she even really let go of things now? Could she? Tor hoped so. He really didn't need to keep revisiting all this stuff. It would be a relief when she left and he could just try to forget about her. They didn't have to be friends or anything silly like that.
For the next few days he didn't even try to leave his room. Just work. The King said there was a deadline, so what else could be done? He made of point of eating and drinking water and stretching daily while he did it, experience winning out over desire to get things done. He went running once early in the morning just as the sun rose, but didn't see many people. The rest of the time he just did what he did best, the only thing he did well at all practically.
Build.
Tor made a point of moving as close to not being aware of what he did as possible. It felt eerie and strange, he most often just sat down with a plan in mind and then came to holding the finished device or mass of copies. Time passed, but a lot less than he was used to. In three days he came up with thousands of amulets and several totally new devices. Luckily he'd already been working on this stuff or he wouldn't have gotten everything done by half. He'd had the plans ready to go. A few more he just didn’t have time for too. Like a Not-flyer that didn’t use hand controls and was guided by the mind. If that worked, he could try it with a flying device as well.
Then it was over suddenly, and he was supposed to stop. So he did. It felt wrong, like his body and mind were still moving, trying to capture something. Anything. At the same time he was still and solid inside. The feeling was like he was a stone in motion, only standing still…
It was night time when he finished, so he ate something in the kitchen, just some dark, slightly sour bread and soft white cheese he found in a cool box, hoping it wasn't someone’s private stash of food. It should be fine, he figured, because the room was positively loaded with supplies, enough for hundreds of people.
Then he went to bed, sleeping until midmorning, the sun coming through his window hit his eyes painfully. In a way he would have liked more sleep, and didn't really have anything to do, but that wasn't a reason to be lazy, was it? He had orders to relax and have fun, so he needed to get up and do it. Whatever that was. Fun? Kind of a vague set of orders.
Shaved, dressed in a light white outfit kind of like what they wore in Warden, except he had on a broad light yellow sash and soft white boots instead of sandals. In Ward the sashes all meant something. Red meant you were taken but friendly, married or something, but willing to dance and maybe do a bit more than just that. Green meant you were single and open minded, which was probably why every time he'd worn green down there guys had asked him to dance. Right. Well, there was no harm to it, none of them pressed him for more than that at least. Orange was rare and basically meant that a person wasn't announcing anything about themselves, so basically you were supposed to leave them alone, but then why go to a party if you felt like that? What yellow meant he didn't know for certain, but the people he'd seen wearing it always seemed to be having fun and have a lot of friends, so Tor had interpreted it as a party color. A person saying they wanted to have fun.
The dining room was big. The palace had bigger ones, but none really any grander. This looked like a jungle inside, complete with plants and blue sky. Not real of course, but it looked like a clearing in Ward, palm trees, big leafed plants of dark green and various other colors and sunny blue sky above. It was lovely. The floor had been made to look like slightly uneven dull gray stone, and the air wasn't humid, but it was a good approximation all told otherwise. As a plus there were no bugs in here.
There was one big table in it, with people sitting and eating casually. Some of the Warden people it looked like, women too, ones he didn't recognize immediately, so at least some of them had come fro
m the palace. That was good, they'd probably be more at home with him and their other friends than the people at the palace, who would all be very proper with them, but still think of them as servants. Tor grinned at them and waved his hand a little to say hello. When they looked up everyone smiled, but didn't jump up or anything like that.
“Tor!” Called out a woman, easily in her forties, that he didn't really recognize.
“Come join us. We were just planning out our day. You want to be our native guide? Us ladies want to go shopping, but none of the guys are willing to stand around looking at things for hours. Maybe take in the main market and get in trouble? It'll be fun!” All the women nodded and the guys laughed, probably thinking that it would be boring, but Tor had never actually been to the big market square in the Capital at all, so it could be interesting. It was supposed to be incredible.
One of the younger men shook his head.
“Nah, we should all go sailing on their little river. They turned the magic one on yesterday, so the waters not bad even. I don't know where we rent boats, but someone has to have something. It's water.” Everyone just nodded in response. Obviously, in their world, if you had more than a puddle, you had a boat. Tor smiled.
Actually he did. A lot of them.
“That is not a problem at all, you can just borrow one of mine.” They were new, based on a design he'd seen in a book back in Printer, about the size of one of the fishing boats, but sleeker looking, and decorated with bright colors that would glow at night. The crew could even change them at will. Whoever was driving at least.