by P. S. Power
Oh. That.
“Yeah… Burks, Count Lairdgren, well he explained that, it's part of my pattern. He said I was really good looking, but basically I can't see it in myself. I don't, even when I thought he looked good when he de-aged himself. His real appearance is basically like this, I guess, exactly really, same age and all. Taller obviously, by about five inches. It's that Ancient thing. Your parents told you?” She might have forgotten, it wasn't like it would have mattered to her at the time, right?
It turned out that finding out a friend of yours won't age, and might live for thousands of years or more wasn't something you just let go of and didn't think about. She shrugged and offered to buy him something with the money he'd earned. After her eighty percent of course.
“Wait, pimps take that much? Why? Protection… but it isn't that dangerous is it? Do they have to fight every third man or something?”
Karina didn't really know herself. It was the tradition though. As it was she kind of felt she might have gotten taken on the price for him. Talented boy whores were hard to find. Especially famous ones. She'd make a killing, she informed him wickedly.
“So, you really, honestly, don't know what you look like? It… explains so much. Like why what Maria Ward and Cousin Patricia said about you hurt, even when everyone else probably just wrote it off for the most part. They were angry and said obviously untrue things. Like when a girl claims a man has a small penis or isn't good in bed, even if their huge and wonderful at it? You're a stupid and ugly boy? Hardly. Anyone looking at you knows it isn't true instantly. Maria probably didn't even think about the words she was saying and just let loose with the worst things she could think of. The rest, well, not everyone is tall, but it's hardly a crime, or even unattractive, even to noble women. A lot of noble women actually prefer their men to be smaller than they are, it's a power thing you see. They can feel dominant that way. You like having sex with men? Well they probably hoped so. I'd kind of like to see that myself… maybe later? You like children? No one that's even stood in the same room with you would think that, not if it was longer than ten minutes at least. No one would ever have thought what they said was true hardly at all. What Lilli said about me, now a lot of that was true. I'm not that pretty, and no, it's not like you where I just don't see it. Cute? Sure, I clean up well and all that, in a three hundred gold dress with full make-up, but I'm not Varley. She's gorgeous, knows it too. But a lot of people probably didn't think those words would hurt you at all Tor. A regular boy maybe, or if you were really ugly or stupid, but you?
“But if you can't see it, that might make sense. Do you think your stupid too then?”
“About average?” Even having been told otherwise it was still his answer.
That got a nod, but not an agreement. As they walked she went silent and finally kissed him again. She didn't say anything else at all, so eventually they went back to the palace and she traded places with Rolph who patted him on the back gently, not triggering the shield at all.
“Alright Tor? You look confused and baffled. More so than normal I mean. Anything I can help with?”
He didn't talk until they were well away from the palace outside the wall and part way to his house. Then he told his friend everything that had happened. Everything.
Rolph seamed… impressed really, which Tor didn't get at all.
“She sold you on the street, and the first two women double teamed you for a gold? Damn. That's… both impressive and a bit creepy. On her part. More than a bit. To copy a phrase of yours, “who does that?” I mean, I guess she made her point, but since when did she turn into an insane person? And why did you go along with her? You could have just said no and left, or told them it was all a joke… Of course you got free sex out of it, so there's that. I wonder if that would work for me?” He shook his giant head a bit mournfully.
“Probably not. Take the whole heir thing away and I'm just another royal out looking for some action. Women don't pay for that, they get paid for it. God I need to get laid! The whole time with Ferra… she was willing, but Gemma was right there, we slept in the transport mainly and the day I have sex in front of a thirteen year old girl is the day I cut it off and join a monastery. Fourteen… well that's legal and all, but thirteen is still just a kid. I don't suppose you have any extra girls at your place you could recommend me too? Over thirteen hopefully?”
It was a clever change of subject, subtle, and sensible. Rolph couldn't change what had happened and Tor hadn't been hurt or abused, not really. He could have walked away, just not without offending the women. But if someone they thought was a whore refused sex with them, what would that do to their self-esteem? Tor wouldn't have done that. Not ever.
Karina probably didn't know it, or wouldn't have believed it if she'd been told. It was just something that had happened, and he'd kind of found it interesting, hadn't he?
With just a little more rationalization Tor figured he could be good with the whole thing.
“Um, well, there are a lot of women there now and most of the women from Warden seem pretty friendly. Or… I think that if you were nice about it, Bonita Coltress would be up for it. I… just promise not to steal her forever, right? Collette might as well. She's nice, really pretty too, so I'd certainly ask there. Ursala, if she stops by of course. I'd like to spend time with her too, so if you see her first, remind her of that? Obviously if you're going to be married you get more attention from her, that's only right. Sara might be in. The rest are related to you. Well, Maria isn't… Collette is her prettier sister by the way. Have you met?”
They hadn't. That could work out then. The first time Tor had met her she'd been trying to meet Rolph at a party, there with Count Thomson. They might not like each other that way, or they could possibly both end up being too busy, but Tor could make some introductions. After all, Rolph was his best friend in the whole world. Any women should love him on sight, shouldn't they?
Of course.
A bit of giddiness ran through him at the prospect. It tickled his soul a little. Tor had never been in a position to set someone up before. Probably not a good idea, given his own track record in relationships, but it might be nice to try. Maybe he was better about it all when it wasn't him personally? When they got to the house, it was filled with people. About three hundred of them.
There was not one, but two new levels on the top, a new set of windows showed movement behind about half of them, a steady train of carriages ran the streets, mainly magical ones in a variety of colors and styles, noticeable because they didn't have wheels. Some were driven by Warden people and a few by Kolb's giants, some of whom Tor was used to seeing on the other end of a sword, usually with some pain involved. For him. They were all good, some of the best. Especially armed like they were right now. They needed to be updated, but they were better armed by far than the Royal Guard or the elite military units.
They found a harried and brittle looking Collette smiling as yet another person walked in, when Tor moved to her she looked at him, sighed and hugged him tightly, looking at Rolph with trepidation. The Prince smiled, but Collette narrowed her eyes, looking as if she'd hurt him if he dared to try and beg a room. They had the rooms, Tor knew that. If they didn't they could expand or even put up another dwelling somewhere else. It was probably the stress then, trying to deal with hundreds of demanding royals that thought Collette was a servant, not one of them. Not their hostess. Sounded like what they'd think at least. As a group.
Freaking royals and their entitlement.
“Collette, don't snap and kill us, please. This is Prince Alphonse Cordes, he wants to date you sometime. Possibly not tonight. I'm planning to run him past Nita first. Alphonse, this is Collette Coltress. I don't know for certain, but I bet if you help her right now she'll be your friend. What can we do to help?”
Collette laughed and hugged him again, then bowed to the Prince, and hugged him too. Tor thought it was a bit friendly since they’d just met, but Rolph seemed to enjoy it, so he didn’t
say anything.
“Please? Help? Tor, could you guide people to their rooms and… Prince Alphonse, could you help me greet people? That would do I think. Half the people coming are being turned away from the palace, which is fine, we have the room, but they keep expecting us to wait on them too, and we don't have that kind of staff. Not even close. We can feed them and the beds make themselves, but they're calling for things like warm baths to be drawn up, even though the tubs are right there and all they have to do is tap a few sigils! One fellow even asked for a girl to be sent up to “relieve his tension”. When I mentioned we don't have anyone like that here, he suggested that I would do just fine. His wife was standing right next to him too! It was all I could do to not put him through a wall. How does your mother do it?” Collette looked ready to start ripping at her own hair.
Which would be a shame, Tor decided. It would make her look funny.
The Prince closed his eyes and focused, his clothing turning from a nice and friendly blue summer suit with no buttons into a dark purple and gold thing in silk and velvet, with the royal coat of arms over the heart. The shoes on his feet turned into black boots that disappeared under the pants, in all it looked a bit intimidating.
Opening his eyes he gave Collette a tight smile that Tor had seen made the business sharks of Debri house scramble for legal loopholes to keep themselves out of prison.
“I don't know how she does it really, but I don't think many men suggest she service them in her own foyer either. From this point on, simply direct anyone too troublesome to me. I assure you that mother only wanted people given a place to stay, there was no assumption that your guests wouldn't adhere to the basic rules of politeness and civility. Please accept my apologies for any hardship we've caused you and know that from now on I'll back you personally at need. If we have to fight, I'll go high, you take low, alright?”
The look Collette gave the Prince spoke of true gratitude then and she grinned. It was the happiest Tor had seen her in days.
Tor guided, carried bags and finally grabbed follow along floats from his room, using them to handle the luggage. It ticked him off that people weren't being nice to his friends. None of them were servants, except the palace staff that had come to help, and they were guests in a way too. Friends come to help, even if they were being paid for it.
It would be rude to kick people out, wouldn't it? Maybe he should set up another place and let the trouble makers get their own food and drink? Tor considered the idea for a while as he walked people to their rooms and helped them get set-up. Most of those were, if not polite exactly, no worse than any stranger would be in a new place. After his fourth trip he came down to find a fight going on in the doorway. Not just an argument either, and actual fight.
An attack really.
A rather drunk, and decently large royal in black, glass bottle of clear amber fluid still in hand about half gone already, punched at Collette with his right fist. The bottle in his left started to swing like he was going to hit her with it. She didn't move, much, just blocking on instinct, but as Tor and Rolph ran towards her position the bottle hit her shield, splashed stinking liquid all over, which was followed by a tinkle of glass as the bottle snapped in the man’s hand, meaning the blow hadn't been playful in any way. The fellow was at least forty, decent looking, but nothing special and didn't seem to get that the pretty blond girl in front of him wasn't there to, as he put it “get on her knees and lick his ass”. If there was a ruder thing to say to someone trying to help you, Tor couldn't think of it. Of course being impolite wasn't something he'd ever excelled at, was it?
The worst he'd ever done was tell a man to go fuck himself. That person being Countier first Scotty Ross, a man that was perhaps the single biggest human being Tor had ever seen. Even other royal giants called him a giant. Easily ten feet tall. Muscled too, like Count Ford, it wasn't just the thin tall build of the King or Rolph. Tor thought about this at that exact moment because the man himself stepped up behind the loud and rude drunk, placed his right hand on the top of the others head, and picked him up by it. The man kicked and flailed for a second, but then stopped, realizing perhaps that twisting around by his head might not be the best idea in the world.
The voice was deep and calm sounding this time, instead of all tense and angry sounding like it had been every time he'd spoken to Tor.
“That's rather a lot to ask of a woman you're assaulting at the moment, even if you can't manage to hurt her. That should be a signal to stop, don't you think? I'm pretty sure she's wearing a shield and the way she was just moving, I'm pretty sure she's about to kick your ass if you don't stop, even if she doesn’t have one.” Without any perceivable effort Ross turned and looked at Collette.
“Excuse me please, my lady…”
“Coltress. Collette Coltress. May I help you?” She said with a genuine smile. Of course reeking of liquor or not, her antagonist was still dangling from the larger man’s hand, which had to be uplifting, given everything.
Tor liked it.
“Perhaps… Do you have a room? I have my family with me, four of us, but we can share, this year a lot more people have come down it seems and we were told we should try here, but that nothing is guaranteed. Obviously we'll understand if there's no room left.”
Tor walked towards the man who's face fell a bit when he found out it was Tor’s house. He went still when Tor bowed humbly at the waist and apologized for what he'd said and done the last time they'd met. He didn't bother with a truth device, because he wasn't certain at all that he really didn't think the man kind of deserved being intimidated by a young man literally half his size and a sixth his weight. The guy had kind of asked for it. That didn't mean it had been right of him to act that way himself though.
Scotty looked at the man he was holding up, “I can't really bow back at the moment, not without falling over…”
Ah, that made sense.
“Well… I think for my part, that if you say, took that man and set him down outside, I wouldn't be displease with that at all instead. I don't know what the rules are for drunken nobles… Prince Alphonse, could you help me with this? I'm lost here.”
That didn't take him, it turned out, just Rolph and a few of the Ward people, so he showed the Ross family to not one but two rooms. Then he fixed the beds so that Scotty and his eight foot tall son, Gary, wouldn't hang over the end. It was the work of a few moments to make the beds extend, the sheets and blankets with them. They both thanked him as if that were special. Before he left Scotty's room the giant bowed.
“I pushed you. Back then. At the fire. I was wrong. I apologize.” It wasn't a good one compared to his, but Tor had probably had more practice lately. A lot more. He bowed back.
“Well, it was a tense thing, with the fire and all that. I hope we can be friends in the future? Generally more fun over all, Don't you think?”
“We're friends now? Good, I won't have to feel bad about staying at your place uninvited and eating up all your food then.” The tone was jovial so Tor winked and left them all to settle in.
As he walked away Tor seriously decided to get Collette to order in extra food. Those guys were huge and Gary was looking to end up at least as big as his father. Larger probably if he kept growing into his twenties like most of the nobles did. Maybe a few whole cows would be good? Or a dozen pigs? They could get the Warden people to help them dig pits to roast them. Tor wondered if it would work in the dry soil around the Capital.
The whole thing was a mad house, but the drunk was gone when Tor got back to the foyer, which calmed the tone down a lot. About twenty minutes later Tor happened outside to see how the set up was going, and found the drunkard sitting on the bench of the ducking booth, which was filled with ice water already. It seemed to be a test run, though a small crowd was gathering. Collette had donated several hundred pounds of ice for it. Wise, since they needed to make sure any problems were fixed as fast as possible.
The whole thing looked good, very festive Tor though
t. Brightly colored in purple and gold, with a green border, since Lairdgren was sponsoring the event. It had a clear front that was probably a shield, not glass, but not one he'd made personally. The effect was good, you'd be able to see the desperate and cold nobles as they sank. A rather angry looking Collette was hurling balls at a red and white target, each one getting closer as she got a little practice. On the seventh one the ball did its job and the man dropped, submerged in the water, going wide eyed for all to see, and then came back up, screeching.
Heh. Cold water was cold. Go figure? It served the man right though. Who treated someone as nice like Collette in such a fashion? As it was Tor wondered if he should kick the man out anyway, for having assaulted his friend like that. He decided to, then and there, making a point of telling everyone that could hear, including Collette. When the noble climbed out of the water, a hard task without help, the booth designed to make it so it seemed, he pulled the man aside.
“Right. You're not welcome in my home any more. If you have people with you, they can stay, but you have to go and find other accommodations. If you can't, you can sleep behind the main building, but if I catch you accosting any of my friends, or guests, in any way, I won't be nearly as polite and forgiving as this, do you understand? As it is you can bet that the Queen will hear about this. We’ll try to avoid telling the King, because Richard would likely come and kick your behind himself if he heard. Consider yourself lucky.” The part about the King wasn’t true, but it made for a nice counterpoint to just “telling” on him.
The man blanched and cursed a little, but didn't try to hit him or anything, which he'd half expected really.
Tor went back to work and wondered what the next day would bring. He really kind of hoped it would just be easy for once. Eventually something had to be, right?
Right.