“Did you really tell your mom I was beautiful and smart?”
“I just told her the truth.”
“We have some time before dinner, why don’t I play you a song.”
“Are you going to play something original?”
“I thought I would.”
As he began to play she saw that his love for music showed in his eyes. He was really talented. He played the guitar as if it were an extension of himself. Every strum of the strings made a beautiful sound that felt as though he were caressing her skin. His lyrics were beautiful in its simplicity and realness. His voice that heated her when he spoke made her erupt like a volcano when he sang. If this was him rusty she wondered what he sounded like polished.
Her silence when he finished playing made him nervous. She just sat there with her eyes closed. He was afraid he either put her to sleep or she hated it so much that she was afraid to even look at him.
“That was beautiful,” she said finally. Her voice had the soft quality usually reserved for her first delicious bite of a baked good.
“Thank you,” he said genuinely modest. He’d missed a note or two and if he were on American Idol they would have said he was a little pitchy.
“You’re really good. Why haven’t you played in a while?”
“Who am I going to play for? The pigs? Maybe the corn and soy.”
“Play for you. It’s obvious how happy you are when you play.”
“What’s the point? I don’t want to chase an old dream. This farm is my dream now.”
“Do you love music because it can make you money and bring you fame or do you love it because it satisfies your soul.”
He didn’t answer. She came to sit next to him on the bed and placed a reassuring hand on his arm. “What if you play for me? I’d love to be your audience.”
He began to play another song. This one had no lyrics, but his fingers on the strings spoke to her. When he finished playing Diane initiated a kiss. Her hands cupped his face as she brought her lips to his. Like all her kisses, it started off hesitant and sweet. He let her control it for a while. It made him happy when she initiated the contact. It meant that he wasn’t in this alone and she wanted him too. Her tongue touched his lips and he parted them instinctively. When her tongue touched his he took over control.
He moved his guitar from between them and pulled Diane closer so that her legs straddled his lap. His hands were on her back and he pulled her body into his. Her fingers were in his hair pulling his head into her. His hands slid down her body stopping to cup the firm roundness of her butt. He pulled it forward into him. She moaned and pulled forward into his rising desire. Her movement elicited a deep groan from him.
He kissed his way down her neck settling into her collar bone. Her body began to move on its own accord in search of more contact with him. His hands were on her waist gently guiding her back and forth against his hardening need. Her hands gripped his shoulders. She was afraid if she did not hold tight she’d float off the face of the earth. One of his hands moved back to cup her bottom while the other trailed a path up her torso, under her shirt until it reached the fullness of her breast. He gently squeezed its softness. His thumb traced circles around her hardened nipple.
“Oh Jack,” she gasped in response to the feelings that were rushing through her body. She’d never felt this much desire. She’d never felt this close to anyone before.
He wanted her so much that he knew he had to stop. He wanted their first time to be more than a quickie before dinner. He wanted more for her than that. He stopped kissing her neck, but his face remained nestled there while he tried to catch his breath and corral his hormones. His hands weren’t as quick to follow the order his brain had given to stop. His thumb continued to stimulate her nipple while his other had continued to keep her pressed against his erection. Slowly he mustered enough control to wrap his arms around her and pull her into a tight hug.
“I love you, Diane,” he said softly into her ear.
She pushed back from him so that she could look him in the face. “You can’t.”
He smiled at her. “You can’t deny me my feelings.”
“We’ve only known each other for such a short time. We can’t have these feelings for each other.”
His smile widened and his eyes sparkled. “You love me too,” he stated.
“I-I did not say that.”
“You said ‘we’ have these feelings. If you didn’t mean love, what are your feelings for me?”
Her eyes began to water. “My feelings are, well, I feel…” she was at a loss for words to describe how she felt other than love. “I do think I might possibly be falling in love with you, but it’s not logical to feel that way this soon. I feel scared because I don’t have any control of my feelings. Being out of control is scary. I’m afraid my heart’s falling too fast and my head is going to have to clean up the mess when I get hurt.”
“Di, I would never do anything to hurt you. I promise you that as fast as you’re falling, I am falling faster and will be waiting to catch you when you land.”
“You promise?” The question sounded the same way it would if a child were asking a parent for reassurance on the first day of school.
“I promise. But if you kiss me one more time I can’t promise you that I’ll be able to control myself enough to stop again.”
She kissed him again. “What if I don’t want you to stop?”
He gently slid her off of his lap. “Sweetheart I don’t want our first time to be a quickie while my momma’s cooking dinner downstairs.”
That sobered her. “You’re right. My first time should be more planned than this.” She didn’t realize she’d change the pronoun until it was too late.
“What do you mean your first time? Are you saying that you’re a_”
“Virgin,” she completed. “Yes, I am.” She moved into him and nestled herself against his chest to avoid having to look him in the face during this conversation.
“But you were engaged and dating for four years. Are you saving yourself for marriage?”
“I wasn’t, but it became that. He never brought the passion out of me. My relationship with him was always very logical and not very emotional. It made everyone else happy.”
“Were you happy?”
“I was happy enough with him. I didn’t really believe in love. It was a fictional concept to me until I saw a pair of blue eyes that made my heart start to act and feel independently of my head. Then I thought it was a possibility for me.”
“Sounds like, I won’t have to wait four years for us to make love?”
“You’re the one that stopped tonight not me. The only thought that my body let my mind think was ‘oh that feels so good’. I didn’t even remember your mother’s downstairs. My mother would roll over in her grave if she knew I was behaving so wantonly.”
His expression grew serious. “I didn’t think your mother was dead.”
“She’s not, but if she knew that I was behaving so wantonly she’d kill herself so that she could roll over in her grave.”
There was a knock on the door that made her jump off the bed so quickly she almost broke the sound barrier. He just smiled at her over reaction. His mother’s voice floated through the door telling them dinner was ready.
If it was possible, Diane thought that dinner fresh off the stove was even better than the leftovers she’d been warming in the microwave. Over the course of dinner she saw where Jack got his character from.
By the end of the meal Diane was instructed to call Jack’s parents momma and dad because that’s what everyone calls them. The word momma seemed strange coming off her lips since she’d not used it since she was in pre-K and her mother told her she preferred to be called mother.
Dinner that night was how she always imagined family dinners should be. It was so foreign from her family’s meals. Her family meals felt more like a staff meeting with talk of goals and strategy. There was rarely any laughter and the food was barely
edible.
Diane was re-evaluating her life goals. Power suits and corner offices with windows no longer held the same appeal as they did before her car broke down. There was now a longing for family dinners and kisses from the man she loved in its place.
♥♥♥
Driving out to the farm for dinner each night became a nightly ritual for Diane. The food was far better than the normal college fare. Each evening after dinner, they would go out to the empty field to spend some time alone together. They would lay under the stars. Jack liked it because the cold December nights forced Diane to move close to him. She would never say, but that was her favorite part too. She also liked how time seemed to stand still and left them in a world of their own.
There were also the kisses. He’d kiss her to within an inch of her life each time they came out. She did not know kisses could feel the way his did. She’d only ever kissed two men. There was her high school boyfriend that had no clue what he was doing so he couldn’t make it enjoyable for her. Then there was Alan that was too self-centered to care if it was enjoyable for her. Jack would always stop just before she was about to lose total control.
There was no doubt in her mind that she was full-fledged in love with Jack. It still scared her too much to say the words. When he confessed his love for her, she’d just say “me too” which seemed just fine with him.
♥♥♥
social network:
Diane Clark’s status: I’m starting to re-prioritize my goals.
Comments:
Ryan Clark: Did you get approval from our mother before you made the decision to decide something for yourself?
Diane Clark’s relationship status changed to In a relationship.
Jack Sloan, Amara Adams and 7 others like this.
Jack Sloan’s relationship status changed to In a relationship.
Diane Clark, Cooper Smith and 12 others like this.
Message from Ryan Clark to Diane Clark: Who is Jack Sloan? What kind of relationship are you in with him?
Message from Diane Clark to Ryan Clark: It’s too much to explain in a message. I’ll call you.
Chapter 8
“You spent the night with that Jack guy?” Megan greeted Diane in a less than welcoming manner as she came through the door early one morning.
“Hello to you too,” Diane said taken aback by her roommate’s tone. Megan seemed different from her normally cheery self lately and she didn’t know why. “Yes, I stayed at Jack’s last night.”
“You guys have barely known each other a month and you’re sleeping with him?”
Though Diane felt no need to explain to her roommate, she did. “We’re not sleeping together. I slept at the farm last night because I was too tired to drive back. I slept in the guest room if you must know.”
“It seems like you and Jack are getting pretty serious. I saw you changed your relationship status last night.”
“Yeah, I guess we are pretty serious.” Despite her displeasure with the conversation, Diane could not help but smile when she thought of him.
“So he’s not just someone to help you get over Alan?”
“No he’s not. I’ve never thought of him that way.”
“So you see a future with him?”
“I don’t know, maybe. We might last through tomorrow or until we’re 90. I don’t know, my crystal ball’s broken.” Sarcasm was Diane’s defense mechanism and she was feeling defensive about Megan’s tone and line of questions.
“Do you think he sees a future with you?”
“I can’t predict the future anymore. My crystal ball is in the shop after I tried to predict when the Kardashian’s fifteen minutes of fame would be up. Do you have a problem with Jack?”
“No, I barely know Jack. But you barely know him either.”
“Is that what the problem is Megan?” Diane couldn’t understand why her roommate was suddenly so protective of her all of a sudden. They weren’t really friends. They were just roommates. The only reason they were even that was because they both wanted to move out of student housing at the same time a couple of years ago.
“The problem is that you shouldn’t be thinking of dating him.”
“Why not?”
“Maybe you haven’t noticed but you two aren’t on the same level.”
“Do you think I’m too good for him because he didn’t go to college?”
“I don’t think you’re too good for him. I think he’s too good for someone like you.”
“You just said you barely know him so how is it that he’s too good for me?” Diane was beyond frustrated with this conversation and really just wanted to shower and change for class.
“Come on Diane, I know you’re not stupid. Do you really need me to spell it out Diane?”
“Yes I do because I know that what I’m thinking you’re saying can’t be what you’re saying because it’s not 1952.”
“If you think what I’m saying is that he shouldn’t be dating you because you’re black then you’re right on the money.”
Diane looked at her like she was crazy. “I can’t believe you’re saying this white supremacist mess. We’ve known each other since freshman year. How could you be friends and roommates with someone that’s inferior?”
“I don’t think you’re inferior Diane. And I am not a supremacist. I believe you all should have equal rights and opportunities. I just don’t believe God intended us to mix. No little half breed babies are going to come from a friendship.”
“Don’t bring God into this because Jesus is crying at the words coming out of your mouth,” Diane said pointing her finger at Megan.
“If He’s crying over anything it’s over you and Jack. God says in the Bible that the different races shouldn’t be together.”
“Really? Is that in the racist propaganda translation of the Bible? In Galatians it clearly states that there is no race and we are all one in Christ.”
“It also says that a marriage should not be between two people that are unequally yoked.”
“If that’s the case you should have been objecting to me and Alan because the inequality of the yolks is referring to believers and nonbelievers.” Diane was so upset she actually said the name which she’d vowed never to say again.
“Do you think you’re more than just some curiosity to him? He just only wants to see what it’s like to screw a black girl. Do you think he’ll still be around once he gets what’s in your panties?” With each question and accusation Megan moved closer to Diane. Diane held her ground, refusing to back away.
“Well that means he’ll be around for a long time. I’m not easy like you. The only thing drops faster than your panties is you to your knees with your mouth open.”
Megan gasped, insulted by the truth. “Maybe if it did you’d still have a fiancée. And if you think he’s been celibate the past few years waiting to for you then you should ask Porsche, Mercedes, and all your other little ghetto friends named after cars their parents couldn’t afford.”
Diane took a deep breath to calm the urge to hit her roommate because she knew she’d lose that fight. Megan had been in enough drunken girls gone wild fights in bars to earn a title belt. “I don’t have time for this. I need to get ready for class. I hope there won’t be a cross burning outside my bedroom door when I come out.” Diane slammed the door behind her and locked it.
♥♥♥
“Hey, Diane.”
“Hi, Andre. How are you?”
“I’m good. What’s up with you though?”
“Megan and I had an argument.”
“What ya get into it ‘bout?”
Diane was always taken aback when it was just her and Andre speaking alone because his dialect was totally different. In class and amongst any multi-racial group he spoke full words without any slang vernacular, but that was different when only blacks were present.
“Megan doesn’t like the guy I’m dating.”
“What up wit’ him?”
“Nothing’s wrong
with him.” That smile appeared again as it normally did when she thought about Jack. “Megan’s the one that has the problem. She came out of the closet.”
“Naw! She been wit’ too many guys for me to believe that.”
Diane realized the misunderstanding. “Oh, not that closet. She came out of the racist closet. She’s one of those closeted, covert racist. She doesn’t think I should be dating Jack because he’s white.”
“Yo’ new dude is white?”
“He is.”
“Megan not the one in the closet. Her reasoning is racist, but she right. Why a smart sista like you go from a good black man to Mr. Charlie?”
Diane was dumbfounded. She couldn’t believe this was happening again. Apparently the closet of racists was packed tight with fools. Unfortunately, he didn’t need her to contribute to this conversation.
“You’re too smart to fall for the lies from the descendants of the men who raped and murdered your ancestors. Do you think his white parents taught him how to love, respect and protect a black women the way a black man was raised to?”
“Those are the quality that any man should have, regardless of race. Andre, I think you’re as racist as Megan,” she said exacerbated.
“A black man can’t be racist.”
“If you choose to believe that, I won’t try to talk you off that ledge. My father taught me that arguing with a fool makes me one too.” Diane turned to walk away, but Andre grabbed her arm. She snatched it back and walked away with long, quick strides before he could get anymore hate out.
♥♥♥
When Diane got back to the apartment Megan wasn’t there as usual on Thursday. She did not think she could handle another confrontation, plus she did not feel comfortable there anymore. She packed a few clothes and her books then called Jack.
“Hello Nancy Grace. How’s your day?”
“Not good. Can I stay out at the farm this weekend?”
Jack & Diane Page 6