by H. T. Night
I grinned. “Your body is pretty perfect, but that wasn’t the reason why I came in here.”
“I wouldn’t think it was.” Yari pinched my thigh and I gave her a look that put her quickly in her place.
“Sorry if I’m not in a playful mood,” I said. “Everything is spiraling down, when it should be spiraling up.”
“These days Josiah, I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen you happy, let alone playful.”
“Things have been pretty weird, Yari. What can I say?”
“I know, sweetie. It’s not every day that someone of your status is rejected publicly like that.”
I sat on Yari’s bed and lay on my back at the foot of her mattress. Yari sat up and was still naked. She tried to keep herself covered, but one thing Yari wasn’t, was modest. “Can I ask you a question, Josiah?”
“Sure,” I said, in a tone that was more like a groan.
“Why Lena?” Yari asked.
“Why not?”
“I’m being very serious. Why her? I mean, she’s cute in a kitten kind of way, but look at you. You’re a Greek god. These days, you might as well be a subject of Greek mythology, but yet, you’re chasing a woman who obviously has no clue what she has. She’s so clueless that her beauty is a handicap to her existence. She relies on that and that only, and she couldn’t decide her way out of a wet paper bag.”
“Do you really think all those mean things?” I asked.
She snorted. “I’m a woman. Of course I do! Female society is based on our judgment of other women. Weren’t you even aware that every woman at the party last night thought you were the sexiest man they had ever seen?”
“Really?” I said, surprised.
“Holy shit, Josiah. Are you kidding me? Don’t you see what looks back at you in the mirror?”
I was quiet. I wasn’t in the mood to hear how hot I was when the one person I cared about rejected me. “Love is something you can’t put your finger on. I fell in love with Lena in the midst of this crazy journey I’ve been on. I never planned on caring about her the way I do. Now that I feel this way, I need closure. I need to know what she has been thinking this whole time. I need to know why she did what she did when I was away being trained by Goshi. When she knew that... I loved her.”
“Josiah. Your grotesque fondness for this woman is seriously nauseating. At the end of the day, you need to be true to yourself.”
I wanted Yari to understand how truly screwed up the situation actually was. How Lena and I had actually slept together the night before. “There’s more to the story, Yari.”
“More? How?” Yari asked.
“Yari, Lena lost her virginity to me the night before my birthday.”
Yari was quiet. I couldn’t tell if she was jealous or in deep thought about what I had just said.
“You two had sex?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Oh my! That does change things, doesn’t it? And you knew she was a virgin?”
“Does it matter?” I asked.
“I guess not.”
“But, as far as I can tell, she was. She seemed pretty new to everything.”
“Well, I’ll be damned. Lena had a vampire’s love on one night, and then wanted a werewolf’s love a day later. I have to say, I’m impressed. Apparently, you unleashed the passion in that cold ice princess. There is hope for that little prude.”
“She’s no prude, trust me on that.”
Yari smiled at me. “Was it good?”
“I don’t want to talk about the details, but it was extremely spiritual.”
“Oh, please! Give it a rest. Spiritual? It was sex! That’s all. Trust me when I tell you this, Josiah. The more sex you have, the less you will see it for the romanticism. Sex is about two people being selfish. They are both trying to gain physical and emotional pleasure by using the other person. There is nothing special or supernatural about it. It’s just individuals getting their rocks off.”
I shook my head at Yari. “Well, I don’t believe that.”
“You’re cute, Josiah.”
“I’m not trying to be cute.” I sighed and said, “Can you tell me where Lena might be?”
“She’s here.”
“In the house?”
“She was, as of three hours ago. I let her stay in one of the rooms downstairs...”
“She came back here? Why?”
“What did you think she was going to do? She knew that she had hurt you and made a huge mistake in the eyes of her friends. She knew that in some people’s eyes, what she did was unforgivable. She chose the werewolf. Unthinkable. And then the werewolf ran away with his tail literally tucked between his legs. Where the hell would Lena go but here? By choosing Tommy, the werewolf, she made herself into a laughingstock of the Mani women, and amongst the Mani men… well, let’s just put it this way, no one is going to want her because she is now marked that she has a thing for Carni packages. Even though she didn’t sleep with Carni, she took a public stand and now is considered... tainted.”
I did a face-palm. “She doesn’t have to stay for me. I’ll see to it that no Mani ever gives her grief for what she did tonight. She went with her heart and her heart isn’t with me.”
“But it is, Josiah. She loves you; she loves you the same as you do her. She’s scared. She chose Tommy tonight because she’s the kind of person who’s there for the underdog. Tommy had everyone against him. It is in her core to do what she did. She went to Tommy because he needed her more than you did.”
An inkling of realization spread through me about Lena’s motivation for publicly choosing Tommy.
“Ah, I see you begin to understand,” Yari said. “You have Mani women falling at your feet to be the squeeze of the Chosen One. Tommy stood alone and he was brave and pathetic. Lena went with her gut instinct, which I believe was based on compassion, even pity, but not love. Not romantic love, anyway.”
What Yari was saying made a lot of sense, but I still needed to hear it from Lena. “Wow. Thanks for the talk, Yari. I think you make a good case for what happened last night. I couldn’t figure it out to save my life.”
“You’re welcome. Anytime. That’s what friends are for, and I am your friend. You should talk to me more.”
“I know,” I said. “I’m grateful.”
“Josiah?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s time for you to get tough.”
“You don’t think I’m tough?”
“When it comes to fighting, you’re a beast. When it comes to love, you’re a ‘grade A’ pussy.”
“A pussy? Wow, tell me what you really think, Yari. Damn.”
“Am I wrong? You’ve been wandering around aimlessly lovesick these past couple of months. It’s time to grow a pair of Mani Chosen One balls and start preparing to face off against Krull.”
“Is Krull on our radar now?”
“I’m afraid so. It might not happen today, but it’s coming. Krull is gathering his troops, gearing up to strike at a moment’s notice. You can’t afford to remain stagnant any longer, or to be distracted by this love stuff. With some of your best Mani fighters siding with Atticai, we’re currently screwed. If we had to fight Krull right now, it would be a massacre of the Mani.”
I shook my head and looked at Yari.
“Why are you shaking your head, Josiah?”
“When it comes to this face-off, or battle that everyone speaks about, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
“You’ll know when it’s time. All I can tell you is to keep seeking answers. Keep gathering your allies. Keep training, not just you, but everyone. Get your head out of your ass, Josiah. This isn’t about love. It’s about war.”
Chapter Three
I walked downstairs and peeked into the bedroom that was closest to the kitchen.
I figured that was where Lena was because no one had been sleeping in that room up until today. I looked in and saw her lying on the bed. She was on her back, completely covered with jus
t her head sticking out. It was in complete contrast to what I had just experienced with Yari.
I wasn’t sure if I should wake her up, considering how peaceful she looked. But I also didn’t think it was a good idea to stand at the door, looking in at her like a scorned, heartbroken ex-lover. I decided to whisper her name loudly.
“Lena,” I said, into the room. She didn’t respond so I spoke louder. “Lena!” I repeated. No response. I figured I’d give it one more shot. “Lena!” The last one was a cross between a yell and a moan.
She opened her eyes. “Josiah.” She seemed a bit confused as if she forgot where she was. She sat up and looked around the room. She was still wearing the black blouse she had on from the night before.
“I think we should talk,” I said, and entered the room.
Lena nodded and patted the bed in an invitation for me to sit. I walked over a little further down the bed than where she wanted me to sit. I couldn’t give in to her right out of the gate.
“Last night was pretty intense,” I said.
“Yeah, to say the least.” Lena didn’t say anything else; she just left it at that. I wasn’t sure what I wanted her to say, but I needed for her to give me something back.
“What do you think about Atticai being back?” I asked.
“It’s pretty weird,” she said and again, didn’t elaborate on anything else.
“Just weird? You have nothing else to say?”
“Well, there was a piece of me that knew he was still alive. It was almost as if I could feel his presence at times.”
“Well, I wish you would’ve given me a head’s up, because I was pretty thrown off by the whole situation.”
“I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry.” Lena finally started to open up.
“What did you do?” I asked.
“I did neither. I was in awe like everyone else.”
“I was a little more than ‘in awe.’ That asshole duped me something awful. He duped everyone.”
Lena looked over at me and, with a very serious tone in her voice, she said, “You don’t think for one second that I ever considered going with him?”
I smiled as if to say, ‘I hadn’t had much of a clue.’
“You know that, right, Josiah? I didn’t consider him for one second.”
“I don’t think it matters. Last night wasn’t about you choosing Atticai. You made your feelings known.”
“Known? How would that be possible? I didn’t even know what my feelings were myself.”
“Exactly. They definitely weren’t for me.”
“Is that what you think?” Lena looked at me in a way that made my heart feel like it was going to come out of my chest.
“Look, it must have been a big turn on to be the object of three different men’s affection. But after what we had experienced together the night before, I thought I had the slight edge.”
“If you recall, I didn’t leave with Tommy.”
“Only because he told you to stay. And then he ran off without you!” I was shocked. Was she actually going to say it was her choice?
“Josiah, I wasn’t exactly sure what I was doing, but I wasn’t going to leave with Tommy.”
“That’s easy to say, now that he has rejected your sentiment.”
“Rejected my sentiment? What are you trying to say?”
I was beside myself. “Tommy asked you to go with him. You did everything but audibly say the words ‘yes.’ Then in typical Tommy fashion, he rejected it because he got what he wanted.”
“Which was what?”
“A victory,” I said, almost yelling.
“A victory? Is that what it was to all of you? A competition?”
“Don’t turn this around, Lena. I left my heart out there at Flatlands. You not only rejected it, you never once went in my direction. Even after Tommy told you to stay.”
“How could I? I was so confused. Tommy was being completely cast out by everyone, including you.”
“I didn’t cast him. I knew it was a bad idea for him to fight a vampire in front of a sea of vampires. It was a suicide wish for Tommy. He could not have won that fight that almost happened and he knew it. He was going for broke, Lena!”
Lena stared at me, tears dripping from her eyes. “You need to know, Josiah. I didn’t walk over to him because I was planning on leaving with him. I went to him because he stood all alone.”
“But you chose him and that is all everyone saw. Tommy left with something far more valuable than you actually leaving with him.”
“Which was what?” Lena asked.
“Tommy left with your heart. He left knowing that you wanted to choose him. You can’t deny that, Lena.”
Lena was quiet.
“And you know what, Lena?”
“What?” She completely expected me to continue to piss and moan about the situation, but I wasn’t going to. I was done with the whole thing. Yari had given me a reality check, tough love, and I knew it was true. I had to stop thinking of myself, my love life, and serve the Mani people. We had a war about to erupt and that was bigger than what my heart needed. My head was now in charge.
“You can have him,” I said. “You can go to wherever Tommy is and be with him. I’m okay with it. I seriously need to turn this page. The Josiah and Lena love story has reached its end. This is a broken record that’s playing some pretty awful music. I’m not about to waste any more nights flying around aimlessly trying to figure us out.”
“There is nothing to figure out, Josiah. I love you.”
“Maybe you do, but I’m not the only one who has your heart.”
Again, Lena was quiet. Too quiet.
“I only have one question to ask you. If you love Tommy too, why did you sleep with me?”
“Because I only love you. Josiah, I don’t love Tommy the way I love you.”
“But you love him, nonetheless. That’s way too much for me to handle.”
“It’s not the same. You need to understand that. Tommy fascinates me, and in the end, I care for him deeply, but he’s not the one.”
I had to ask this question, it was eating me up inside. “Why did you ask him if he loved you?”
“Because if he didn’t love me like he said he did, I needed to know why he was still willing to lose everything for it. I wanted to know the answer to that question.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore, because I’m over it. I need to move on.”
Lena stared straight ahead at the wall, closing me off.
“You can turn away from me, Lena—which is immature, by the way, pouting like a high school girl who doesn’t know how else to get her way. If you want a fight from me, you are going to have to wait for another day. I am all fought out about this you-and-me-and-other-guys thing. Are you that insecure that you need love and approval from not just one man, not just two men, but three men? Really? It killed me that you took longer than a split second to choose. And then you chose Tommy? Do you even know what it took away from me that you didn’t even claim me last night?”
“About last night—” she began.
I interrupted her. “Lena, last night was a catalyst for me. When you walked to Tommy and stood with him, your whole future with me ground to a halt.”
“Josiah!”
“No! It is time for me to evolve past this high school love story crap. It is time for me to grow up, and be the man I’m supposed to be. I’m responsible for the fate of the Mani. This wavering of your loyalty is a distraction from what I must do, not for me, but for many. You want Tommy? Go get him. But be prepared to be loyal to him, or face even more severe consequences than you face here from your betrayal of me. Because if you betray Tommy, God help you. He does not take disrespect and disloyalty lightly.”
“Do you mean it, Josiah?” Lena stared deep into my eyes with a piercing stare. “We are done?”
“I have never been more certain about anything in my life. I see how you look at him and it’s not the same as you look at me. There’s a fire
in you when it comes to him. He does something in your head that I don’t think I can ever compete with. Tommy won you, fair and square.”
“Quit looking at it like a competition. I’m not a prize to be won. And that fire for Tommy you’re talking about has no substance. I don’t love him like that!”
“The thing is, Lena, you probably always looked at him that way and I was too blind to notice. And not only that, you were too blind to notice that you love him. Tommy has something about him that women seem to love. I have never been able to compete with it, and honestly, I don’t want to. I like who I am and I don’t need to put myself in a lone wolf situation where a woman will feel sorry for me and choose me over my best friend. That is not how I am wired. If a woman wants to be with me, it’s full-on, unconditional loyalty and no looking back or looking at other men.”
“You’re wrong about everything, Josiah. I care and love you more than you’ll ever know.”
“Well, you didn’t show it last night.”
“But I’m fighting for you now.”
“It’s too late.”
“So that’s it? I walked over to Tommy and that’s all she wrote? One gesture to help Tommy and now Lena is history in your book of love?”
I looked at Lena and I was done playing this back and forth game. I loved her more than she’d ever know, but at this moment in time, I needed to move on with my life. “Some things need time. This is one of them.” I stood up and walked toward the door.
“Are you and Tommy ever going to make up?” Lena asked.
I stopped in the hallway and said, “I don’t see that happening, Lena. Tommy made last night all about him; he’s a loose cannon. If I hadn’t been there, all those Mani would have ripped him to shreds and you, too, would have gotten caught in the crossfire, or crossfangs. And he would have saved himself before he saved you, if you two had even survived.”
“No, Tommy’s has a hero’s heart.”
“More like an anti-hero. Saves his own ass before anyone else’s. There’s a big difference between Tommy and me. Tommy doesn’t think before he acts. Not only is he impulsive, but Tommy has a dark side that scares even me. It’s a side of him I have never fully trusted. Ever since I’ve known the man, I have always known he was hiding something. I guess that’s what makes him mysterious to you ladies. It’s what makes him the bad boy, and women love the bad boy. God, I know that to be true.”