Regardless of how different this is from all of their expectations for their wedding, Nikki and Ron couldn't look happier, beaming into each other's eyes. Their hands are clasped tightly in front of the officiant. Nikki wears a light aqua dress and dances lightly in place as she repeats her vows. Ron, in a button-up and jeans, squeezes her hand.
Cole barely listens to the words of their ceremony, pointedly doing his best to keep his eyes on them. But some words make it through. For better, for worse. To love. Cherish.
His feelings had endured through better and worse. That's a certainty. But he can't keep going like this. Rejection lies around every turn. They take a few steps forward and then Em turns runs a mile in the opposite direction. He can't even look at her right now. Won't look up at her only to see the regret in her eyes. To see what he already knows: that she's too afraid to give this a real try. That she's already started running.
This time, it's his turn to leave.
Finally, the Elvis impersonator who's officiating the wedding pronounces them man and wife and tells Ron that he can "Kiss this pretty little mama right here." Nikki squeals, curls flying around their faces as she throws her arms around around Ron's neck with enthusiasm.
She hands Cole her phone. "Take a picture of us with Elvis?" She turns to Ron. "I wish I could be a fly on the wall when your mom sees me post 'The wedding's off, but the marriage is on.'"
Ron looks like he couldn't care less what his mom thinks about this as he beams down at her and they turn their blindingly happy expressions to Cole. He wordlessly snaps a few pictures for them and hands it back.
Maybe Cole will be able to feel happy for them again later, but the presence of Em at his back—the reminder of what he can't have—darkens his mood.
Nikki whoops as Ron scoops her up into his arms. "The honeymoon starts now," he says, waggling his eyebrows down at his bride while she peals with laughter. He addresses the rest of them with a grin. "You guys enjoy the rest of your stay in Vegas."
The newlyweds rush from the chapel toward their happily ever after and Em finally finds her voice again. And both the quiet volume and her somber tone just serve to remind him of what's coming.
"Cole."
He clenches his jaw and stares ahead, marching forward. She follows close behind. He swears, if he has to hear right now that they're not going to do this… "It's okay, Em. You don't have to say it. I think you were pretty clear."
"I was?"
"You were." He stops and she crashes into his back. Fuck it. He'll at least remind her what she's giving up. "Can I just say one thing?"
He whirls on her, backing her up against the wall. His hand is flat against her back and the other lightly cups the back of her head. They're still for a moment, his eyes locked on hers, mouths hovering, anticipation building.
And then his lips descend onto hers.
He's kissed Em only a handful of times, but it never gets old. It's like all of her walls, all of her defenses fall away. She's not hiding behind them. She's here with him, in the moment.
But just this moment, a voice in his head reminds him.
His hands clench and he pushes her away, breaking the connection. He has an instant of pride where he appreciates her dazed expression, how she sags, stunned, against the wall, hand covering her mouth, blinking to get her thoughts clear and her feet back under her. She'd been in the moment, but he has to accept that she won't be in future ones.
"Friends don't do that." He steps away and runs a stressed hand through his hair. "Friends don't feel that."
"Hey!" She catches his hand and the ragged note in her voice makes him turn back to her. "I'm saying something big here. You don't walk away from me right now."
"Why?" he demands. His eyebrows slam together. "Have you patented that response?"
"No, I—" Her voice dies and she drops his hand. "I'm sorry that that's been my signature move. It's just that maybe most friends don't do what we just did, but these friends should do a lot more of it. These friends should be more than friends."
She has his attention. His feet no longer itch away from her. "What a revolutionary idea," he deadpans. Did you come up with that all on your own?"
"Look, I know it's hard for you not to be an asshat while I say my piece, but do me a favor and try for a minute," she snaps. "Because I've been thinking. And the thing is, I love you."
His jaw drops. The most he'd dared to hope for from her was that she'd agree to stay in town and date him. How had she made such big strides in such a short time?
"Let me get this out before you say anything," she says in a rush. "I think I've been half in love with you since I locked eyes on you freshman year— soaking wet and incredibly pissed off and just— I felt so much. Too much sometimes. I felt like I could explode into a shower of glitter and confetti and sparkles."
Cautiously, he places his hands on her hips, drawing her into him. There's no alcohol involved. No liquid courage required for either of them. She doesn't flinch away from his touch.
He has to say, it makes a nice change.
Pulling her closer, his eyes search hers. More points to her. She doesn't even shy from his gaze.
"But when Dad died… my world imploded. Mom collapsed. I didn't want to risk that happening to me and I thought— what I thought doesn't matter now. I told myself that being friends was better. Safer. That we clicked on that level and it was enough."
She takes his hand off of her hip, but not to put distance between them. She threads their fingers together, smiling nervously. "It's not enough for me anymore. I don't know where I'm going to find a job, but I do know that I want you. Wherever we go, wherever life takes me, I want to go there with you."
Maybe it's not enough for her, but it's enough for him. He's heard all he needs to. Speechless, he lowers his head to hers, and she reels back, looking frantically determined. "Wait, hang on, I have more."
"Tell me later. It can wait. Getting here took you long enough." An answering grin unfurls across his face. "I love you too, Em. Emotionally stunted as you are."
There's more to say, he knows. He draws her to him. There's lost time to make up for and more to come. There will be laughter and arguments. There's stuff to figure out and things to discuss. But those are bridges they'll cross later.
Together.
∞ THE END ∞
Dear Reader,
Thank you for taking the time to read Now and Again. I hope you enjoyed Em and Cole's story, told in snapshots of the past and present. If you did, I'd so appreciate it if you would drop me a review on whichever retailer you purchased from and/or on Goodreads! Reviews from readers like you are what enable me to keep on keepin' on with this author gig.
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
Jennifer Ellision
ALSO BY
JENNIFER ELLISION
The Threats of Sky and Sea series, a young adult fantasy series
Threats of Sky and Sea (Book #1)
Riot of Storm and Smoke (Book #2)
Fall of Thrones and Thorns (Book #3, coming 2016)
Sisters of Wind and Flame (Prequel #1)
Defining Justice (Prequel #2)
Breathe In (Prequel #3, coming December 2015)
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Now and Again is the third novel I've published, but it's the first one I ever wrote. I put it aside for several years until now, pulling it out to rewrite, revise, and edit it.
It's been almost five years since that first draft, but I remember very well the encouragement that my friends gave me as I attempted to write it during NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) 2010. My first thanks for this book definitely go to them.
Thank you also to one of my fiction writing professors at the University of Central Florida. Now and Again was inspired by a short story I wrote about Nikki in a workshop, and the story grew from there.
Next, thank you to the creators and operators of NaNoWriMo. I don't know if I would have sat down to write Em and Cole's story without yo
u.
Thank you to my roommates at the time (and still some of my best friends), Kristin Clarke and Allison Perry, who asked me often how it was going, and even pressured me to lock myself in my room to get work done.
To the guys who wanted to be "in the book," sorry! But thank you for cheering me on and know that you were at least in a few of the drafts. And Nick Perez—as promised, you can't unring that bell.
Lindsey Young, thank you, thank you, thank you, for reading everything I send to you for critique. Thank you for "needing to know what happens" between Em and Cole.
Thank you to the reviewers. To my family. And to my friends—the bevy, the U_M girls, the bloggers, and writers.
To my previous readers, thank you for picking up Now and Again and taking a chance on a new genre from me. I hope you enjoyed it.
And new readers, I hope that you did too.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jennifer Ellision spent a great deal of her childhood staying up past her bedtime with a book and a flashlight. When she couldn't find the stories she wanted to read, she started writing them. She loves words, has a soft spot for fanfiction, and is a master of what she calls "the Fangirl Flail."
She lives in South Florida with her family, where she lives in fear of temperatures below 60 degrees Fahrenheit. She makes her Internet home at www.jenniferellision.com. You can also find her on Twitter @JenEllision and Facebook as Jennifer Ellision. You can stay up to date on Jennifer's books by signing up for her newsletter on her website.
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