by Lexi Blake
She loved Brody. It was right there in her heart, but she couldn’t trust it. Her world simply didn’t work in a way that ended with her happy.
A vision of his big, warm body gone cold in a coffin assaulted her. Would she bury him beside their son? Was this the universe’s way to find balance for what she’d caused before? This time she would be the one to lose her husband and child. She only thought she’d felt the worse pain imaginable, but it was still out there, lurking and waiting. Biding its time until the moment was perfect to strike.
It was here now. The time to pay for all her sins, and her whole body ached with what would happen next.
She forced herself to walk into the living room, trying to keep her step as light as possible. The lamp in the living room was on, illuminating her way. There was Shane. It looked like he’d tried to call someone. His phone was on the floor in front of him, but he hadn’t made it out of the comfy chair he’d been sitting in. The coffee was next to him, half empty, and his chest was moving up and down in the easy motion of sleep.
She’d made sure of the dose. Luckily she’d known the pharmaceutical well. She’d taken it herself before she’d gotten pregnant. Dreamless sleep was what it offered.
Declan was on the sofa across from him. Thank god. She’d been worried he would have time to start his rounds. Declan walked the grounds at least once an hour, and she’d been afraid she would find him passed out on the grass. She couldn’t leave him out in the elements, and that would have slowed her down.
Tucker had likely taken his back to his bedroom. He would wake up in the morning with no bad effects. He would wonder what had happened and why she’d done what she’d done.
Everything had worked perfectly. All signs pointed to this plan coming to fruition. The plan where she sacrificed herself for her son and Brody.
She picked up her purse and took the cell phone that de Vries had sent to her. Shane and Declan had been tasked with keeping it close and monitoring it, but she couldn’t leave it behind. She was the one who had to answer that phone when it rang, even if she had zero control over what happened in the next few hours of her life. Perhaps the last few hours.
It didn’t matter. She shoved the cell phone into the purse and wished she had time to leave a note. She wished she could say all the things she wanted to say, that she was sorry she hadn’t been better, sorry she had to make this choice. But when she thought about it, it had been made long ago.
There was no time. If she didn’t show up, Fedor would put his plan in motion.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, wishing she could hold them both one last time.
Steph strode out the door, resolute. This was for the best.
Brody would wake up in the morning and he would take care of their son. Eventually he would take Nate back to London where he would be raised in a normal way. He would go to school and have friends. He wouldn’t spend all his time in a clinic. He wouldn’t have to worry about the next medical crisis or whether or not the ground beneath him would shift and he would end up in the middle of a civil war.
He would have a happy life.
Tears blurred her eyes as she rushed to the gate that led to the sidewalk. She tried to push through the gate but it held.
She pushed again. It didn’t move. Where was the latch? There had to be a way to open it. Of course they would lock it from the outside, but she hadn’t thought about it not opening from the inside.
“It’s locked.”
She nearly screamed when she watched Tucker peel away from the shadows. He’d gotten dressed again. The last time she’d seen him, he’d been in pajama bottoms and a T-shirt, his shoes off. He was ready to be outside, his sneakers and jeans back on.
“Don’t try to stop me. You don’t understand what’s going on.” Pure panic threatened. All Tucker had to do was shout out and Brody might hear him. There was no way she could outrun Tucker.
He stared at her for a moment. “You drugged the coffee.”
“You didn’t drink the mug I brought you.” She’d handed him a mug after making sure it had the ton of sugar he seemed to require. He’d thanked her with a smile. She hadn’t thought to watch him drink it.
“I didn’t trust you,” he admitted. “I don’t know why, but it felt odd for you to do that. Your hand was shaking when you passed the mug to me. Not much, but enough to make me curious. I wanted to see what you were doing. Now I realize you could have killed Shane and Dec. At the time it only occurred to me that you were going to attempt to run away, but I should have thought about more nefarious purposes. Please tell me you didn’t kill them. That would make it my fault, too. Brody says I never think. He was right. How will I go back home and explain that I let men die because I thought you wouldn’t really hurt them?”
“I didn’t kill anyone. It was a sedative. They’ll sleep a nice eight to ten hours and they’ll be fine in the morning. Please, Tucker. You have to let me go.” Why hadn’t she thought about the gate? How was she going to get out of here? She had minutes to get to the car that would be waiting for her. Minutes before she would hear it drive away and the decision would be made.
She could put her baby into hiding, but how could they fight the entire Ukrainian syndicate? All they needed to do was get lucky once and she would lose everything. Was that any way to live a life? Always running and hiding.
She couldn’t breathe. It was like someone was sitting on her chest. In her logical mind, she understood that she was having a panic attack, but her heart was seizing.
“Why? Why are you doing this?” Tucker asked.
“Because they’ll kill my baby if I don’t. They’ll kill Brody. They’ll hurt everyone I love. I have to.”
“That’s what he was saying to you.” Tucker sounded perfectly calm. “Again, I should have read that better. I’m not good at reading body language. I thought something bad was going on when he was talking to you by the window. But then you smiled and I thought it was okay. You’re an excellent liar.”
She doubted it. “Please let me go. I have to do what they want or they’ll hurt my son.”
How long did she have left? How much time was there? Tucker was close, so close he could reach out and grab her. She didn’t have anywhere to run.
“Tucker, you don’t remember the people you loved, but can you imagine that you did love someone? You know what it means to empathize, right? Think about how it would feel to love someone with your whole heart. What if the only way you could save that person is to sacrifice yourself? Would you do it? Could you live with yourself if you didn’t?”
He moved to the gate and for a moment she was afraid he would reach for her and haul her back to the house.
His hand moved over the electronic lock and it popped open. He shoved the key card back into the pocket of his jeans. “I suppose I couldn’t. I’ll probably get in trouble for this. I need a good cover story or they’ll kill me.”
“They won’t kill you. They’ll understand.” She wasn’t as sure, but she knew Brody wouldn’t truly hurt this young man. She took a deep breath and put a hand on his face. He was taller than she was, a good half a foot, but he seemed so much younger than she. Oh, she knew he was likely in his mid- to late-twenties, but there was something about the openness of his handsome face that made him seem almost innocent. “Thank you. You can’t know how much you’ve done for me. Please give me a few minutes before you wake Brody.”
“I won’t. He’s extremely cranky when he doesn’t get his sleep.” Tucker stepped back, allowing her access to the now open gate.
She chuckled but knew that was a lie. As soon as he could, he would run to wake everyone and they would be after her. “Tell them you saw me leave but couldn’t catch up. Tell them anything you need to in order to keep yourself safe.”
“Why would I do that?”
She barely heard his whispered question as she turned and ran down the sidewalk, her feet pounding against the pavement. Fast, she had to move fast and pray she wasn’t too late. One blo
ck and then she turned. Right or left? Left. He’d said left. The neighborhood was affluent, with big, sprawling homes and plenty of old trees. No one was out at this time of the night. The whole world seemed dark and peaceful, perfectly quiet save for the sound of crickets chirping. She could hear her own heart beating as she tried to make it to the meet-up point.
She turned down the next street and in the distance could see the lights of downtown. Brody would be there in the morning, working at the office, trying to find her. Or perhaps he would be so angry with her, he’d simply take Nate and walk away.
Where was it? Had they already left? What would she do? She sniffled, trying to stop the stupid tears from running down her face.
There it was. A big van sat at the end of the block, its brake lights a beacon in the darkness. Like two red eyes watching for her, waiting in the darkness to scoop her up. Once she stepped into that van, she wouldn’t see her son again. Wouldn’t feel Brody’s arms around her. She would be alone for the rest of her short life.
But Nate would live. Brody would live. He would get over her and find a proper mother for Nate. A mom who could teach him joy and happiness. A mom who would love him with her whole heart because she knew Brody wouldn’t choose anyone else.
Her son was safe with him.
The door to the back of the van opened. A tall man wearing all black stepped out. “I was beginning to worry you would not show, Dr. Gibson. We were about to leave without you.”
She stopped in front of him, trying to catch her breath. “I want you to promise you won’t hurt my son or Brody Carter.”
Fedor Shadrova bowed his head slightly, a courtly gesture. “We had a deal. I always honor my deals. No harm will come to your loved ones. And you should understand that if something goes wrong, I will consider all the responsibility on de Vries. You have honored our deal.” His arm came up, gun metal flashing in the low light. “Although part of that deal was you coming alone.”
She turned and Tucker stood behind her. His hands came up, showing that he carried no weapons. “What are you doing?”
“Yes, I remember you from the club. You did not come back to the office with us,” Fedor said. “I assumed you weren’t an important employee.”
“I’m not. I’m not even an employee,” Tucker replied. “I’m more like a burden.”
Why was he here? Did he think he could take on Fedor and his men all alone? “He’s no one. He’s not important and he won’t hurt anyone.”
“Excellent.” Even in the darkness she could see Fedor’s predatory smirk. “Then no one will miss him.”
“I know where the flash drive is,” Tucker said, his tone perfectly calm.
Fedor stopped, going still. “The one they wish to exchange for my sister?”
Tucker stood tall. “Yes, that one. But I’m only going to talk to de Vries. Take me to him and we’ll all get what we want. You get your sister. Stephanie gets to be a martyr, and I get what I want, too.”
“And what is that?” Fedor asked.
“A shit ton of cash. Lots and lots of cash,” Tucker replied.
“I should kill you where you stand,” Fedor said.
Tucker’s head shook. “And then you’ll never get your sister back because if you think de Vries is going to be satisfied with the doc and Alfi Dauterre, you’re wrong about him. He wants everything. He needs everything. His employer won’t be satisfied without it.”
“You seem to know a lot about this.” Fedor’s gun didn’t waver.
“I listen. Even when people think I’m not listening, I get the gist of what’s happening. A smart man knows how to handle his responsibilities,” Tucker replied. “And don’t bother searching me. I put it in a safe place.”
“Get in,” Fedor ordered. “We’ll see how you handle torture.”
Tucker’s lips quirked up in a savage grin. “I think I’m a professional at that. I don’t know. Sometimes it’s hard to remember, but I think I’ll be good at this.”
Fedor pulled her into the van and she realized he wasn’t alone. There was a man driving, and two more inside.
Was Tucker telling the truth? He knew where the drive was and he wanted money? It wouldn’t be the first time she’d been betrayed, but she couldn’t stand to think about how Brody would take the news. He would be devastated.
All this time Tucker had been pretending to be his friend.
She heard the sickening sound of bone meeting metal and when she managed to turn, Tucker’s unconscious body was being hauled in.
The doors closed again and the van started to pull away.
She tried to glance out the window, but she couldn’t see anything.
“Time for you to rest as well, Doctor. I don’t like it when my plans are upended.” Fedor’s voice came out of the darkness and then something came down hard on her head.
Pain flared, but it was only for a moment. Then darkness was all she could see.
Chapter Fourteen
“Someone got to her.” Liam O’Donnell paced the floor of the conference room. “That fucker Ukrainian did it. Sometime last night, he got to her and he convinced her to do this.”
Brody sat back in his chair, his son wrapped up in his arms. Somehow he hadn’t been able to drop Nathan off at daycare when Liam had dropped off Aidan. Since he’d woken and found the bodyguards drugged and Stephanie missing, the only way he’d been able to keep himself together had been focusing on Nate.
He’d woken to Nate crying out, needing a change. He hadn’t been shocked that Steph wasn’t with him. He’d rather thought she’d gotten up to prep the morning bottle their son’s endlessly hungry gut required. He’d changed the nappy and gone looking for Steph.
He’d found what looked like bodies at first. It had taken him a moment to realize they weren’t dead and Steph wasn’t among them.
Nate had kept him calm, kept him from raging the way he wanted to.
Nate had kept him from walking out because he was so bloody angry that he wanted to.
“I didn’t leave her alone for more than a few minutes, O’Donnell. I scarcely think he had time to hatch a plan with her,” Brody replied. “More than likely this was her plan in the first place and she somehow convinced Tucker to take her where she needed to go.”
Which was probably wherever de Vries wanted her to go. Somehow she’d figured it all out and decided she didn’t trust anyone but herself to save Anya.
“Why the hell would Tucker do that?” O’Donnell asked.
“Because he’s an idiot.” Brody could feel how tight his voice was, but he managed to keep it low, not wanting to frighten his son.
His boy. Steph had left him behind too. She’d walked away from them both because her guilt meant more to her than her family.
Anger welled, but there was something deeper, something he couldn’t acknowledge because if he did, he might break into a million pieces.
Grief. Grief that she couldn’t love him the way he loved her. Grief that she would rather die than fight. Grief that they couldn’t have the life they might have because she had never forgiven herself.
That was what it came down to.
“What do we know?” Taggart strode into the room. “I’ve been trying to get those fuckers on the line but surprisingly the number goes straight to voice mail. I think we can conclude that last night’s cooperation was complete bullshit. I’ve loaded that voicemail of Fedor’s up with graphic stories about what I plan to do to every man in his syndicate if Stephanie isn’t back here safe and sound in a few hours. I hope they understand English because they were highly descriptive words.”
Brody could only imagine what Taggart had threatened them with. It wouldn’t matter if Steph had done all of this on her own, and he needed to point that out. “And if she chose this path?”
O’Donnell put his hands on his hips, staring down at him. “She didn’t choose this.”
“Uhm, then who roofied me?” Declan asked with a groan. “Because I didn’t do it myself.”
&nbs
p; “I’m with Dec on this one,” Shane added. “I seriously doubt the sedative she gave us accidently fell into my coffee mug.”
The doors to the conference room opened and Avery walked in. The rest of the office was quiet, with only a few of the operatives in. Jake and Adam were somewhere trying to go through security footage. Charlotte was making calls to her contacts in Russia to see if anyone could get a read on Fedor Shadrova or de Vries. A few of the bodyguards had taken an early flight to Loa Mali with the royals to deal with a crisis there.
Brody felt oddly alone without Steph or Tucker. Bastard. He’d grown fond of the bloke and now he was going to have to have a long talk with Damon about him. He was dangerously unstable if he could be convinced that this was the way to handle a situation where a client made a mistake.
A mistake? Or had she been looking for a chance like this for a long time?
“You two should know better,” Taggart said with a frown.
“Know better than to drink coffee when we’re trying to stay up all night?” Shane asked.
“I told you I can do the same thing with Scotch, and I’m way friendlier. I’m good after a couple of drinks. Better shot, too,” Declan added. “Also, I have my own flask, hence not a chance of getting my ass roofied.”
“Or you could roofie yourself until your system gets used to it. You should do that with a list of frequently used poisons as well if you’re going to survive in this business. If she’d tried that shit with me, she would have had a very different outcome.” Taggart sat back like he’d imparted great wisdom on the world.
“I fear what your liver looks like.” Shane took the mug Avery offered him. And then stopped, staring at her for a moment.
“Avery didn’t roofie the coffee,” Liam said with a long sigh. “And I assure you Big Tag doesn’t have any more tolerance for that shit than you did. He makes crap like that up all the time to scare the newbies. Ninety-nine percent of what comes out of his mouth is pure bull.”
“But the one percent that’s real is deadly, boys. And good luck figuring it out.” Taggart thanked Avery for his cup of coffee. “Avery, do you think there’s any possibility that Stephanie ran off herself? Is there a possibility that she might have found that thumb drive and she’s trying to make a deal for herself?”