“I’m thinking of my children.”
“Is that enough to build a marriage on?”
“Many have survived that were built on shakier ground. Just say yes.”
“I must do something. I cannot be both your fiancée and the governess. Too many people are watching me.”
“Then become my wife.”
He reached for her with his maimed hand and she did not draw back. It was a strong hand for all that it had lost some of its power. He drew her to him and kissed her lightly on the lips, then the neck and the earlobe.
The rattle of the doorknob caused him to draw back. Hill came in with a sheaf of letters for him to sign. Marian occupied herself with the guest lists Alva had left.
“Oh, dear.”
“What is the matter?” Wyle asked as he signed documents he scarcely read.
“I just realized all these people that I know will wonder where I have been these last few years.”
“Taking care of your mother, of course. Besides, you need not answer to any of them. Do you play tonight?”
“No, Charlotte plays tonight. I had thought that if she practices enough the next few weeks, she might play a piece at the ball.”
“Hah and you accuse me of living dangerously.”
Hill laughed at them and lightened Marian’s mood. Still she did not know what to do. Her mother would council resigning, she thought. But for some strange reason she could hear her father saying, “Marry the man if he’ll have you. Stop dithering about it.”
Chapter Nine
The next morning Frobisher’s horse was standing saddled in the stable yard when the party came out the back entrance. Wyle strode to them saying, “You will have to ride with Hill and the groom. I must go to Woolwich.”
“What has happened?”
“I just got word from Frobisher that they need my help at the military college.”
Marian felt her heart jump. “They are recalling you.”
“I can no longer pretend I am not fit for duty. I am merely to help train artillery officers and gun crews. Frobisher will be with me.”
Marian did not ask the question but it hung in the air between them like a large unanswerable gaffe. Would he go to war again? She rather thought duty would drag him there rather than the excitement but no matter. He would be gone all the same.
And that answered the other question of whether she should marry him or not.
He looked up at her and said. “They need the new ordinance now. There isn’t much time to get it ready. I shall have to do what I can. Will you take care of the children?”
She nodded but said nothing. There had never been any real choice for her, never a decision to make. Always the power was taken away from her—by the fortunes of war, by a cousin seeking to enslave her and now by a man she held dear.
After Wyle and Frobisher rode off, Hill mounted Charlotte’s hack now that her mare had arrived from Fair Oaks. The two paired off to trot abreast toward the park and Marian came again to think the shy young man would be perfect for the girl. He might be a country parson but he rode well and indulged her without patronizing her.
When they reached their favorite track, they ventured to go as fast as a jog and nothing untoward happened. After they returned to a sedate walk, Hill complimented Charlotte on her handling of the mare and Marian listened patiently to the catalogue of all the horses Henry meant to buy when he was old enough. She knew in her heart that she could not leave these two but that did not tell her whether to marry or no.
When she ran the catalog of Wyle’s flaws through her mind the only one that stood out as important was his reluctance to give up military life. Beyond her fears for him lay something else that had been festering in her heart from the time she was a child. What was it? Yes, the sure knowledge that something was more important to her father than her mother and her. So Wyle also put duty before family.
Then she thought about what a difficult choice that must be for him, especially now that he was enjoying the children. Perhaps she was the one who was being selfish. Neither man needed to have fought in the war and had done it out of what? Obligation, perhaps pride and not a little out of the need for action. But to go back into it must take all the courage a man could muster knowing what he might lose.
In the midst of her ponderings on Wyle, Cole Greenway hailed her from one of the other tracks. His hack was the flashy beast she had seen the day before. Cole must have been in London for some days since he was sporting a peacock blue coat that looked ghastly stretched across shoulders so big. And his new hat did not entirely conceal the wild curling brown hair that stuck out above his ears. By the time he rode up, he looked disgruntled.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded in a fierce whisper. The groom Reed glanced back at them, then engaged Henry in discussion and led the boy ahead.
“When I heard what you were intending I started searching for you. You cannot do this, hiring yourself out as a paid servant.”
“You are the one who left me no choice.”
“You never gave me time to discuss it with you.”
“You made yourself perfectly clear.” Marian tightened her grip on her reins. “Marry you or remain penniless.” She could see Mr. Hill and Charlotte glancing back in some concern, so she smiled at them and vowed to lower her voice.
“You father wanted me to take care of you.”
“My father did not deed me or the estate to you.”
“You are not capable of handling it.”
“My mother and I would have had no trouble managing it if you had not usurped our power.”
“If this is an example of your decision-making, I should have you declared incompetent.”
“Is that your next step? That seems unfair, considering you forced me to seek employment.”
Cole reached up to run one of his large hands through his unruly hair and almost knocked his hat off. “I never intended this to happen.”
“And yet it has. How do you account for it?”
“You refused me before because you were in mourning.”
“My father is a prisoner. He’s not dead.”
He shook his head sadly, playing, she realized on her secret fear.
“You are wrong. You see, being in charge of shipping munitions I have been able to make inquires in France. There is no such person being held in any of the French prisons. Else I would have tried to ransom him or petitioned the army to arrange an exchange.”
Cole sounded almost human when he said this, as though he really cared about her father but then she remembered how good he was at acting the hero when he was no such thing. “I refused you because I did not love you. I still refuse you.”
“If I had any idea how you felt…”
“I believe I expressed myself rather plainly. If you want to make amends release the estate to my mother and my funds to me.”
“If I do, will you forget about this governess position and come home?”
“Only when it is my home again.”
“Very well.” With that he rode off, never telling her what he meant to do.
Was there ever such an exasperating man? Of course Wyle tried her patience but in such a nice way there was no comparison.
* * * * *
They proceeded with the usual lessons that day but all of them fell sadly flat without the exuberance of Wyle and with the pall of Cole’s visit hanging over them. She had explained to the children who he was but they also got from her sternness that she disliked her cousin.
The children felt her oppression and looked out the window for Wyle’s return several times an hour. Marian was dreading the time for the fencing lesson but Hill appeared, calling himself a poor substitute for Wyle. Henry was delighted to have a new opponent and Marian and Charlotte watched as they tested each other’s skill.
They were all going upstairs to change for dinner, when Trumby informed Marian she had a caller in the drawing room. Having a grave suspicion that her mother might have made the t
rip Marian opened the door to find Cole again.
“What do you want now? Did you follow me? This is unconscionable.”
He came and took her hands. “I have done as you asked, or set the process in motion. Now will you reconsider?”
“I don’t believe you. You plan to do the same thing you did at my previous situation. You will annoy my employer until he lets me go just to be rid of you.”
“At least they saw reason.”
“You lost me a perfectly good situation.” She tried to pull away from him. “If you attempt such a farce again—“
The door was thrust open. ”What is the meaning of this?” Wyle asked in his roughest voice. “Accosting Miss Greenway in my house.”
“I am her cousin, Cole Greenway.”
Wyle glanced at Cole’s grip on her hands. “You are not acting like a cousin.”
“That is because I have just asked Marian to become my wife.”
“Impossible!” Wyle said, stepping up to them and forcing Cole to release her.
“Why is it so impossible?” Cole demanded as he looked Wyle up and down.
“Because she is engaged to be married to me.”
Cole’s jaw drooped and he spun toward her. “Is this true?”
Damn Wyle for pulling another rug from under her feet. “Let me explain.”
“Well, are you a governess or this man’s intended?”
“Both,” Wyle said.
“And you accuse me of accosting Marian. Is this man’s attentions welcome? Do you intend to marry him?”
Now she was trapped. If she said no, she was still on the ropes with Cole. If she assented, Wyle would take that as a definite yes. “It is you who left me little choice.”
Cole looked from one to the other of them. “If this is true, there is no more to be said.” He looked as though he was swallowing something large and sickening, his pride perhaps.
“There is more to be said,” Wyle vowed. “Leave your direction with my butler. My man of business will call on you to arrange for the return of the estate that rightfully belongs to Miss Greenway and her mother.”
“I see.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Wyle took a threatening step closer to the bigger man.
“You will take charge of the estate as her husband.”
“No, her mother will be in charge not that it’s any of your business.”
Cole turned on his heel and left the room without another word. Marian did not like the expression on his face. It was not defeated but angry and she had no confidence Cole would comply with Wyle’s demands.
“That’s routed him. It’s nearly time to change for dinner. Frobisher will be joining us.”
“Why did you do that?” she asked as he turned with his hand on the doorknob.
“Because I don’t like him and neither do you. Admit it.”
“Very well. I don’t like him and having refused him once, I wasn’t about to change my mind.”
He took his hand off the knob and came back to her. “What are you saying? You didn’t want my help?”
“He proposed before and I managed to fend him off. After all, even with the family solicitor in his pocket he can hardly compel me to marry him.”
“Most women would have fallen on the chance to be married when left without support.”
She clasped her hands together for strength. “But I couldn’t bear the idea of leaning on anyone.”
“There’s something else too, isn’t there?” Wyle stood looking at her with concern.
Marian sat, suddenly feeling very tired. “He is the reason Mother and I returned from Spain. When my uncle died Cole took over the estate. We received such disturbing letters from our estate manager that Papa thought we should come back.”
“I see. Your cousin pulled you away from your father when he needed you both with him.”
“It was a shock to have Cole try to steal our estate but I would not agree to marry him even after Papa was captured.”
“How do you feel about Cole now?”
“He reminds me of that black time. Powerless.”
Wyle sighed. “And I was very nearly as bad with my aborted attempt at rescue. I made you feel powerless as well.”
She stared up at him. “You trapped me.”
He pursed his lips and stared at the floor, his jaw working. Then he knelt with such pain in his eyes she found she had to believe whatever he said. “It was not my intention. If you find you cannot like me either, then I will still fight to have your estate returned to your mother and you. Cole isn’t the only one who can hire lawyers. Or would that also be unwelcome interference?”
“That I shall leave to my mother, who is more nearly concerned in the matter. She managed the estate during my father’s whole career. When he was home he didn’t know what to do with himself.”
“That is how I feel, as though I have outlived my usefulness. So I am writing my memoirs. Your father is in there if you want to read that part.”
“Really, tell me something happy about him.” Marian could feel the tears in her voice and desperately needed some good memory to hang onto.
“He was handsome, dashing, had to beat the Spanish women away with a whip.”
Marian chuckled. “But faithful?”
“Eternally,” he whispered, reaching for her hand.
”I am glad to hear it for marriage to a military man has enough terrors without thinking about exotic women in foreign countries. I don’t think I could ever bear what my mother endured.”
“He was also daring in a careful way. He had courage but never led his men into traps. He was a good example to me.”
“Then I have no fear to read your memoirs someday, all of them?”
“You spur me to finish.”
Henry burst in then to recount how he had routed Hill and Charlotte came joking with that young man. Apparently Frobisher had met them in the hall and was now sending speaking looks to Wyle about Hill and Charlotte. What an idiot Frobisher was on some things. If Wyle did not realize the attachment, then he was dimmer than she thought him. And Wyle had apologized for trampling on her freedom. It was a start.
She stood and Wyle managed it with a grunt. They would all be thinking he had proposed to her again. And all of them were smiling except Frobisher. Why did he not want Wyle to marry? It could mean a promotion for him. She shook her head as they went toward the dining room. Frobisher was the least of her worries.
* * * * *
Wyle watched Frobisher’s attempts to engage Charlotte’s attention during dinner that night meet with nothing but confusion from the girl. Hill, realizing what was happening, became almost monosyllabic. Charlotte blamed Frobisher and rightly so. She ceased to draw the lieutenant out or even be polite to him and the dinner ended with Fro drinking too much wine and recalling war stories entirely inappropriate for both Henry and Charlotte. Everyone except the two soldiers vacated the table after dinner. Wyle offered port in spite of his friend’s condition.
“How much longer ’til Hill removes to the county,” Frobisher asked.
“His father will not retire until next spring. By then my memoirs will be done and I’ll have less need of him.”
“None too soon.”
Wyle did not answer, still trying to fathom what he would do if Fro asked for Charlotte’s hand.
“You understand why I say that?”
Wyle rested his chin on his fist. “No, I always thought you liked Hill.”
“Your daughter is head over heels in love with him.”
“Charlotte is still in the schoolroom.”
“Exactly.”
“What exactly?”
“He’ll snap her up before anyone else gets a chance at her.”
“You make her sound like a prize hunter.”
“Surely you want her to marry within the ton.”
“When the time comes I want Charlotte to marry to please herself. I’ve had some experience in arranged marriages and they don’t always w
ork.”
“But he’s just a country parson.”
“What of it?”
“You can’t be serious. With your fortune Charlotte could look as high as she wants for a husband.”
“I want her to be happy.”
“Even if she marries Hill.”
“If she wants.”
“If I had known you planned to throw the girl’s future away I’d have applied for her hand myself.”
“Fro, we are classmates of an age. We serve together.”
“Are you saying I am too old?”
“You are a career soldier. I have abandoned my children most of their lives because of the army. Charlotte does not deserve such a lonely existence for the rest of her days. Besides we are in the same unit. We might both be killed at the same time.”
“And yet you have proposed to Miss Greenway?”
Wyle rubbed his forehead. “Yes. I see your point. I should resign my commission if I want a settled life.”
“The war won’t last forever.”
“Sometimes I think it will.”
Frobisher stood up, rocking the chair. “I’m heading home.”
“Not staying for tea?”
“I don’t think I could stomach it.”
Chapter Ten
Marian exited her room the next morning and encountered Wyle in uniform, the blue coat with red facings so easy to mistake at a distance for a Spanish uniform or even several of the French ones. To be sure it was the blue colors of the Royal Artillery but it was still a uniform. Had it been red it would have broken her heart even more.
“Are you to go to Woolwich?”
“Not until later today. They are assembling the canon and I like to make sure that is done correctly. We will test fire them as well. You have to watch the youngsters to make sure they don’t overload the cannon. I keep thinking they shouldn’t need me, yet feel compelled to be there.”
“Probably that geometry.” She walked down the stairs beside him, determined to be brave and not berate him for his decision. Certainly she would not abandon his children because he was doing his duty as he saw it. But she did not think she could compromise her beliefs enough to marry him. Then it hit her that she did love him and if he were to die, she would be as bereft as his governess as she would as his wife.
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