by Ginn Hale
"A kiss?" Kiram asked.
"Not like that. They were like lovers in a poem, but both men." Javier looked at Kiram suddenly and his expression seemed both tender and searching. "Like us."
"Adari," Kiram said. "That's the Haldiim word for men like you and like me, who are drawn to other men. Lots of adari live on this street." Kiram continued towards Rafie's house and Javier walked beside him. Doves sheltered in many of the trees, but here Kiram sighted crows as well. The glossy black birds seemed to return Kiram's gaze.
"Your uncle Rafie is…an adari?" Javier asked.
"Yes," Kiram replied. "His husband Alizadeh is one as well."
"And everyone knows?" Javier asked.
"It's not like it's illegal here in the Haldiim district."
"Maybe not illegal but still." Javier trailed off.
"Shameful?" Kiram supplied and Javier's expression told him he'd guessed correctly. Kiram stopped at Rafie's door but didn't pull the bell just yet. "It's not even shameful. It's just normal. Why did you think all those men were dancing with each other at my party last night?"
"There weren't many women there and Cadeleonian dancing seemed new to most of them. I just thought they didn't know any better." Javier stared at Kiram with a strange look of dawning comprehension. "All of them at your party were adari? Not just that Hashiem?"
"All of them," Kiram confirmed.
"Even the young Bahiim?" Javier asked.
"Vashir?" Kiram raised his brows. "Especially Vashir. I told you he was courting twins."
"Twins could be women," Javier pointed out.
"He said that he wanted to ride you, Javier."
"Like an animal," Javier protested. "He called me an animal."
"He meant it as a sexual overture." Kiram couldn't keep from smirking. "I suppose I should have told you that last night when he asked me to. But I thought you knew."
"No." A shadow of anxiety crossed Javier's face. "Did they know about me? All of them?"
"No, Majdi's the only one who knows. Well, Rafie and Alizadeh obviously know that I'm close with you but I haven't told them anything. No one else would even suspect. You're just too Cadeleonian."
Javier seemed to relax. "It's strange how different things are here."
"Too different?" Kiram recalled how overwhelmed he had felt the first few weeks he had lived in the Cadeleonian world of the Sagrada Academy. And he had even known what to expect; he'd studied Cadeleonian literature, language and history. He'd spent days wandering through the Cadeleonian district of Anacleto in preparation.
"It just doesn't seem possible that all of this could be real." Javier studied the red physician's star above Rafie's doorway. "This all seems like something I would find in one of those ancient Yuan travel journals."
"Like the one that said that all Haldiim are born women?" Kiram asked.
Javier smirked at that but nodded.
"I do know what you mean," Kiram said. "There were times at the Sagrada Academy-especially early on-when I couldn't quite believe what was happening."
"Like what?" Javier asked, as if he couldn't imagine anything about Cadeleonian society as strange.
Like you, Kiram thought but he decided against it. Instead, he chose the most obvious difference. "The complete absence of women for one thing. I couldn't believe that there could actually be an entire academy without a single woman scholar or student. That's just unheard of in any Haldiim school. And then there was all the riding. To most Haldiim riding horses is a sure sign that you're from a family of thieves or raiders of some kind."
"Really?" Javier smiled, clearly liking the idea of being taken for some kind of wild raider. Just now, with his crooked smile and wind tousled hair, he did look like a dangerous and daring highwayman from one of Kiram's favorite books.
"But it's different, isn't it?" Javier leaned against the doorframe close beside Kiram. "You hadn't wanted to ride horses all your life and then come to the Sagrada Academy and seen everyone around you riding."
Kiram nodded but his mind was hardly on the conversation. There was something in Javier's motion, perhaps the angle of his head, the slight parting of his lips that told Kiram that he was going to kiss him. A rush of heat and excitement flooded Kiram, despite how common such exchanges might be in the Haldiim district.
Javier's lips grazed Kiram's mouth; his hand touched Kiram's hip. Kiram pulled him close, opening his mouth to Javier's. Javier's hesitation broke and he pushed Kiram back against the door. Their kiss deepened into a rough desperation. Kiram arched his hips against Javier and Javier pulled Kiram so close that Kiram could feel Javier's heart pounding against his own chest.
Above them, a crow let out a sharp call and they bolted apart. The bird swept past them and swooped over Rafie's roof. Kiram laughed, feeling stupid for being so nervous. He wasn't Cadeleonian and yet he'd startled as easily as Javier.
To his relief Javier too laughed. Then he reached out, and Kiram thought he would embrace him again, but instead Javier pulled the chain for the doorbell.
Chapter Eleven
Rafie welcomed Javier and teased Kiram about his inborn ability to time his arrival with the service of any given meal. Then he led them into the garden.
Sunlight filtered through the glossy leaves of plum and almond trees. The perfume of spring flowers paled before the strong aromas of hot oil, garlic and cinnamon. Kiram drew in a deep breath and felt hunger growling through his belly. He noticed that familiar voracity in Javier's expression as well. If they had still been at the Sagrada Academy all pleasantries would have been forgotten in favor of wolfing down hunks of food.
As it was, they both tried not to stare at the spread of aromatic foods. Simple clay dishes heaped with lamb, rice, toasted nuts, sugared fish and greens waited on a low table near a gnarled tree. At Kiram's mother's house it would have been a simple meal, but Kiram knew that for his uncle Rafie this variety of dishes represented a feast.
Alizadeh smiled at them as he filled four cups with stream- cooled tea. He had already laid out plates for Kiram and Javier. Kiram thought that he really shouldn't have been surprised at Alizadeh's prescience by now.
"It's an honor to meet you again, Lord Tornesal." Alizadeh stood carefully, leaning on his cane. He offered Javier a respectful bow.
"Please call me Javier. There's no need for formality," Javier assured Alizadeh. "Have you been ill since we last met?" Obviously Alizadeh's frail condition surprised Javier far more than the lunch preparations.
"A winter malady. It's already passed. I keep the cane so that Rafie will pity me and fetch me things when I'm feeling lazy."
"Which is most every day," Rafie commented.
Kiram thought Alizadeh did look healthier than he had even three days earlier. He toyed with his cane more than leaned on it. Rafie still watched him with that measured, physician's gaze, but he didn't hover as much he had before.
All four of them settled on the ground and ate. Above them crows gathered in the tree branches and from time to time flew down to accept bits of food from Alizadeh's hand.
Rafie tossed one a chunk of fatty lamb and the crow caught it like a trained dog.
"Are these your familiars?" Javier asked Alizadeh.
"Very familiar, yes." Alizadeh laughed and then considered Javier with a sly smile. "I take it you read the book I sent to you."
"I did," Javier said, after gulping down a mouthful of lamb. "I believe I understood it pretty well."
"Really? I can't say that I understand most of Alizadeh's texts." Rafie grinned at Alizadeh. "Crazy old Bahiim aren't the best authors, you know."
In response Alizadeh stole an almond from Rafie's plate. Kiram noticed the attentive way Javier studied the two of them beneath his lowered lashes.
"What about you, Kiri?" Alizadeh's voice pulled Kiram's attention from Javier. "Did you read any of it?"
Kiram shook his head and frowned down at his simple clay plate. He shouldn't let himself fall into the habit of gazing longingly at Javier. They
were both going to have to return to Cadeleonian society and mooning wasn't something either of them could afford to indulge in there.
"Should I have read it?" Kiram asked. He'd missed eating sugared minnows and now he helped himself to several as well as a heap of rice.
"No. I was just curious." Alizadeh's attention returned to Javier. "Most of the text concerns the obligations and duties one must accept when becoming a Bahiim. It doesn't make for the lightest of reading nor for the easiest of lives."
"A lot of travel, deprivation and battle. All for very little worldly reward, that's what it sounds like" Javier sampled one of the small sweet fish and then took two more, reverting to an air of nonchalance beneath Alizadeh's direct scrutiny.
"Still better than being hunted all your life by a curse," Aliza- deh replied, "don't you think?"
"Yes, the thought had occurred to me," Javier agreed. "Even before you sent the book, but it's…it's a lot to give up."
Kiram looked between Javier and Alizadeh as he realized what they were discussing.
"You're not serious?" Kiram demanded. "If a holy father even suspected that you were suggesting to Javier that he should convert-"
"No one has said anything about conversion," Rafie cut Kiram off. "Not a word"
"No one's said a word about lamb fat either but we're all eating it!"
Alizadeh laughed at this and Rafie gave Kiram a pained scowl.
"I haven't decided on anything" Javier gazed down at his long hands, his expression troubled. "But I have questions that need answers and I haven't found those answers in the Cadeleonian church."
He seemed so serious that Kiram kept his peace.
"I'll tell you what I can," Alizadeh offered.
Javier lifted his gaze to meet Alizadeh's.
"If the white hell is a shajdi, as you and Kiram say, then why haven't I been able to use it break the curse on my family? Why can't I make Fedeles right again?" Javier asked.
"Your white hell is definitely a shajdi," Alizadeh assured Javier. "But you aren't in direct contact with it. Right now you hold it like a man might hold an oil lamp. You can light its fire or snuff it out, but the flame doesn't burn in your bare hand."
Javier frowned. "I don't understand."
"There's a shield between you and the raw power of the shajdi," Alizadeh went on and Kiram found himself listening as closely as Javier. Rafie leaned back against a tree trunk and closed his eyes as if resigned to hearing a long story that he already knew.
"I'm not sure-" Javier began but then his expression lit up. "Do you mean the medallion? Calixto's medallion. My father said that it would protect me from the fire of the white hell. Every Tornesal who has possessed the white hell has worn it."
"You're wearing it now, I assume?" Excitement brightened Alizadeh's face.
"He always wears it," Kiram provided.
Javier lifted the medallion out from his vest. Its thick gold chain looked dull compared to the shining metal of the medallion itself. Though Kiram had seen it countless times he found himself transfixed by the heavy gold circle and the fine incantations that traced its surface.
Even Rafie cracked an eye open and after catching sight of the medallion he sat straight up. "Is that a ghost locket?"
"Indeed it is." Alizadeh gazed at the medallion with a keen, knowing expression. "The question is whose ghost inhabits it?"
Javier glanced to Kiram, his fingers curled protectively around the medallion.
"What on earth is a ghost locket?" Kiram asked, looking between Rafie and Alizadeh for an answer. Rafie shook his head and returned to his slump against the trunk of a plum tree.
"It is dangerous magic, born of greed or desperation" Alizadeh's eyes remained on the medallion as he spoke. "The incantations on a ghost locket hold a soul trapped between the living world that surrounds us and the realm of death"
"Why would anyone want to do that?" Kiram asked. Javier's expression was uncertain as well.
"Because sometimes it is very useful to be able to hold a soul- particularly if it has become a curse," Alizadeh replied, though it wasn't Kiram he looked at but Javier. "But more importantly, a soul trapped in a ghost locket can also be used as a door to a shajdi. Though in that case the woman or man whose soul is held within the locket must willingly participate in its creation" Alizadeh sighed heavily and one of his crows dropped to his shoulder and nudged its beak affectionately against his ear.
"No true Bahiim would ever take possession of a shajdi in such a manner. It's terribly cruel and an imperfect union in any case," Alizadeh went on, "but someone desperate with only a little training might attempt it not knowing the cost."
Kiram frowned as he tried to absorb everything Alizadeh was telling them. Javier's medallion wasn't just a protection but must have been integral to opening the white hell.
"You mean my ancestor, Calixto," Javier stated.
"Yes" Alizadeh replied. "But obviously not him alone. After all, he lived on to control the shajdi. Someone else made an immense sacrifice to give him that power"
Suddenly Kiram remembered the few pages of Calixto's diary that Javier had shown him, when he'd been looking for information concerning his hero, Yassin Lif-Harun. A terrible thought came to Kiram.
"Yassin" Javier said softly. He stole a glance to Kiram, then looked away almost guiltily. "The locket holds Yassin Lif-Harun's soul."
"Yassin Lif-Harun?" Rafie sat upright, incredulous. "Yassin Lif-Harun, the famous half-Haldiim astronomer?"
Even Alizadeh raised his brows in surprise.
Javier nodded sheepishly. "I know it sounds mad, but he and Calixto were close, very close." Again Javier's dark gaze darted to Kiram and this time Kiram knew exactly what Javier meant.
"They were lovers?" Kiram asked.
Javier nodded. "Calixto wrote about it in his diary, though he never did say how they opened the white-the shajdi. He only wrote that the Mirogoths were at the academy walls and none of them expected to survive. So they had nothing to lose."
"Yes, they would have seen it that way at the time." A look of sorrow passed over Alizadeh's face as he studied the medallion. "Yassin would have bound himself to Javier's ancestor, Calixto, with the most powerful of blood oaths, one that would last generations. Here you can see the symbols binding flesh and soul" Alizadeh reached out and pointed to a circle of tangled incantations.
Kiram felt an odd familiarity when looking at the symbols but he couldn't place where he'd seen them before. Most likely he was remembering them from countless nights lying with Javier.
"Once Yassin had bound his soul to Calixto's bloodline," Alizadeh's gaze moved over the incantations on the ghost locket as if he were reading them, "he would have taken his own life. Only in death could his soul have entered a shajdi. Then the bond between him and Calixto would have allowed Calixto to reach into the shajdi through him-"
"But that would mean that Yassin's soul was, and still is, stretched between life and death." Rafie's expression was deeply troubled.
"Yes." Alizadeh drew his hand back from Javier's medallion. "Half of his soul is held here in this locket, still sheltering Calixto's descendants and allowing them access to a shajdi without the benefit of Bahiim training. But the other half of Yassin was long ago drawn into the shajdi. His soul will have been distorted and shredded over the years. I can't say just how intact he would be after so much time."
Kiram was aware that he and Rafie and Alizadeh all turned their attention to Javier at that moment. Javier flushed slightly under their scrutiny.
"I don't know." Javier said quietly. "I haven't seen or heard him in at least six years. I had begun to think he had been some figment I'd dreamed up."
"But you did see him?" Alizadeh asked.
"I heard him more than saw him. When I was eight and nine he would speak to me in Cadeleonian and Haldiim and tell me things. He taught me how to call the white hell and to draw wards to protect myself. I only ever saw him in dreams."
"That does explain a number of
things." Alizadeh gave Javier a crooked smile. "Your amazing fluency in the Haldiim language, why your home is protected by Bahiim spells, and most importantly how the shajdi has remained uncorrupted. Your ghost had some training as a Bahiim."
Kiram stared at the medallion, trying to imagine some spirit haunting it, but couldn't picture it. "What did he look like when you saw him?"
"A little like you." The flush coloring Javier's cheeks darkened slightly. "When I first saw you in my room wearing your prayer clothes, I thought for a moment that somehow you were him."
Remembering Javier's open flirtation that first day and his own awkward responses, Kiram felt his own cheeks growing warm. Thankfully, Javier had already turned his attention back to Alizadeh.
"Could Yassin have known that would happen to him when he did this?" Javier's voice was oddly strained. He wore the same stricken expression as he had during the autumn tournament when he had seen Enevir Helio's stallion broken and screaming in the mud.
"Perhaps we should ask the man himself,' Alizadeh suggested.
"You can do that?" Javier asked.
"Indeed I can." Alizadeh smiled. "Though I'll have to make a show of the effort, otherwise Rafie is going to know I'm recovered and he'll make me fetch my own lunch"
Rafie just rolled his eyes. Then he gestured for Kiram to come join him under the plum tree. Kiram moved quickly to his side, though his attention remained on Alizadeh and Javier.
"You must concentrate on Yassin, Javier." Alizadeh spoke softly. "Call him as you would have when you were a child."
Javier nodded and closed his eyes, cupping the medallion tenderly in his hands.
Alizadeh also closed his eyes and reached out with his left hand. He didn't touch the medallion. Instead he held his palm over it while folding his right hand against his chest. For a moment they both simply stood there.
Then air around Javier seemed to ripple as if distorted by waves of heat. Steadily the shadows of his body seemed to deepen and spread, rising off Javier like some strange dark steam-the way the shadow curse had risen from Fedeles. Kiram watched it, feeling uneasy.