They had spent long hours in Stonelachen this past week, looking for the blasted thing. He was very much afraid it did not exist, no matter how certain of its discovery Cailean was. She felt it more strongly every day, she said. But he’d seen those same desperate looks she’d sent Rory’s way and wondered how much of her knowledge was second sight, and how much was merely her heart’s desire.
Three hours later, he’d finished examining a half-dozen more rooms with nothing to show for it but a brutal headache and a growing sense of panic.
With a low curse, he swung away from the next appointed room and retraced his steps. He knew Maggie would likely still be in the north passage. Coming back to Stonelachen, tracing her many twisted corridors and passageways had been a gift to his soul, one almost as sweet as that of Maggie’s love. Och, but he’d missed this place, aye he had.
But even warm thoughts of his childhood home could not quell the rising tide of fear, or dampen the growing ache within him. By the time he reached the adjoining corridor, he was all but running. He swung around a corner and skidded to a halt. She was there, just ahead of him.
“Maggie,” he said, out of breath.
Startled, she spun toward him. Her expression lightened immediately at the sight of him, but as she ran close enough to see his face clearly, her smile faded. “What is it, what’s wrong?”
He pulled her tight against him and just held on. The tide rose further within him. How on earth would he survive without her in his arms this way?
She struggled against him. “Duncan, you’re scaring me.”
“I didna mean to frighten ye, Maggie mine. I simply had to hold ye.”
It took no more than those simply spoken words to make her understand. Her expression crumpled and her eyes turned glassy. “Oh, Duncan.” Her voice wobbled and she buried her face against his chest.
His heart shattered. She sobbed and he had nothing in him to make her stop. She cried his tears as well.
“What are we going to do?” she demanded, almost angrily. She pounded on his chest. “Why did we spend all this time apart looking for the stupid key?”
He held her fists and kissed each knuckle until she looked up at him. What he saw in her eyes broke what was left of his heart.
“I want more, Duncan. I’m not ready to say good-bye.” Her face crumpled again and she gulped on a fresh sob. “God, I can’t bear this, I can’t.”
Duncan was afraid, deeply afraid, that he would break down and not be able to pull himself back together again. He had to act; he had to do something. And there was only one thing he could think to do with his remaining time. He swung Maggie up into his arms and marched down the passage.
“Where are we going?”
He slowed enough to look down at her. “We’ve looked for the key and it isn’t to be found. I willna waste the rest of my time here on an empty search. I must say my goodbyes to my brothers.” He was forced to pause as a painful lump lodged in his throat. “Then I want to return to our rooms and spend every last second alone with you.”
She nodded as fresh tears coursed down her cheeks. “I can walk, Duncan, you don’t have to carry me.”
“Yes,” he said quietly, “yes, I do.”
Rory and Alexander strode into the main room from opposite passageways just as he entered himself.
“What’s wrong,” Rory demanded, immediately crossing the room toward him. “Is she hurt?”
Duncan shook his head and reluctantly let Maggie slip from his arms to stand tucked by his side. “She’s fine. I need to speak to both of you.”
Alexander’s expression was tired and worn as he crossed the room to stand before them. Duncan knew that he and Rory had made things difficult for their elder brother and the familiar guilt snatched at him again. “I’m sorry, Alexander, I hope you can find it in you to forgive me. I must abandon the quest.”
To his utter surprise, Alexander moved forward and caught him to his chest in a tight hug. “ ’Tis all right. I know the time has come.” It was a long time before he released him and stepped back.
Rory stepped forward and took his hand in a hard shake, then pulled him into an embrace as well. “I dinna know what to say, Duncan. I feel as if I just found ye.”
“I know, Rory. I know. But I will fully ascend one day, and when I do, I’ll find Da and tell him you both continue to do him proud.” Somewhere he found a grin, which he sent to his elder brother. “And you can rest assured he will box my ears clean from my head when he hears I didna follow yer orders, Alexander.”
“If I thought it would help, I’d box them off now.” Alexander managed a small smile, but it did not come close to warming his eyes. He sighed and gave up all pretense. “Och, Duncan but this is a fine mess. I canno’ find the words and I canno’ deal with the pain of yer leavin’.”
“Ye’ll still have Rory.” Duncan said, his throat raw from the effort of keeping his words steady. “No’ that this is a great consolation I realize.” His laugh ended abruptly in a choked cry and they all somehow ended up in a tight embrace of arms and tears.
“Are ye leavin’ Stonelachen?” This came from Rory.
“Aye. Maggie and I, we need—”
“Ye dinna hae to explain.”
“No,” Duncan said, deeply moved, “I suppose I don’t. Thank you, Rory.”
“Can we talk you into spending your time here?” Alexander asked. “Rory’s chambers will afford ye privacy and that way we can keep the search up to the last minute, in case—”
Duncan raised his hand. “I appreciate the gesture, Alexander. But the search, for me, is over. I’m no’ too certain that findin’ the key would have changed my destiny anyway. I made a deal with Them in order to have this time here and I wouldna go and change that even if I could. I’ve had more than most men.” He looked to Rory. “I know your curse still stands, but I can ask Them when the time comes—”
Rory held up his hand. “No. I will deal with that on my own.” There was desperation beneath the confident tone, but Duncan could say nothing to ease it.
He knew Rory’s feelings on ascending had changed from the time when they first spoke of it. He also knew his brother feared that his ascension might already be preordained, if they were to reverse his immortality. He could become a more than three hundred—year-old man in the literal sense, which would mean his mortal life would end right then and there. Perhaps his immortality did not seem as much a curse to him now that he had someone to live for. But he also knew that at the end of either path lay sorrow.
He pulled his brother into one last embrace. “God be with ye, John Roderick,” he said close to his ear. “When yer time comes, whenever that may be, I’ll be waitin’.”
His brother could only manage to nod and tighten his grip. Then the two stepped apart and Maggie stepped to his side once again and took his hand in her own. He looked at her. “Do you wish to find your cousins before we leave?”
Maggie nodded. “Please.” As if summoned by the force of her will, Delaney and Cailean entered the room together.
“What is this? Another round of Family Feud and no one told us?” Delaney joked. But she quickly noticed the sobering tension and crossed the room. “What’s wrong?”
Cailean said nothing; it was obvious that she had immediately understood what was taking place. She moved to Rory’s side, close to Maggie. “Are you going?”
Maggie nodded. “We don’t want to spend what time we have left searching for the key. I’m sorry, Cailean.”
Cailean shushed her. “No, don’t. I understand.” Her expression was more worried than Maggie had ever seen it. “I’m sorry I took you away from each other, but I really thought—” She broke off and put her hand to her mouth to stifle the tears that swam in her eyes. “I thought we’d find the answer.”
Now it was Maggie’s turn to shush her. “I thought we would too, or I wouldn’t have spent the time looking. We’ll still find it, Cailean. You know we will find it. And who knows, maybe it won’t be too la
te.” But Maggie didn’t really believe that and she knew that Cailean didn’t either.
Maggie’s time with Duncan was at an end.
Delaney stepped forward and pulled her into a short, tight hug. “Go on, we’ll keep looking. I wish I could do something to make it easier.”
“You are. Just being here helps. I’m going to need you.” She looked to Cailean. “Both of you.”
They nodded, squeezed hands, then let them go.
“I don’t know when I’ll be back, I—”
“It’s okay,” Cailean said.
Maggie looked to Rory and Alexander. “Thank you,” was all she could say. But she knew from their expressions that they understood she was thanking them for giving her their brother’s final moments alone.
“We must be off,” Duncan said. Then he scooped her up in his arms. “Hold tight, lass.”
She clasped his neck. He looked to his brothers and nodded, they each nodded solemnly in return. Then he looked to each of her cousins. “Ye take care of her or I’ll come back to haunt ye both, ye understand?”
Both women nodded through watery eyes.
Then he pulled Maggie tight against him, and they disappeared.
She swore she’d done little more than blink, and they were in their room in Flodigarry. “Wow. I thought you’d stopped blinking in and out.” His ability to do that had waned as time had marched on, to the point where he didn’t even try it. Maggie hadn’t minded. It made him seem more mortal, more real.
Duncan seemed winded. “It was no’ so easy. But I dinna want to waste the time driving.”
She kissed him on the chin. “I’m glad you did.”
He carried her to the bed and they fell into the soft downy duvet together. Clothes seemed to disappear like magic. Maybe it was. Maggie didn’t waste time questioning it. Their urgency was a raw, driving thing, their need to be bonded in the most intimate of bonds was all-consuming, driven by the heartache and desperation they both felt. When he entered her she screamed in exultation, then clung to him as they rode the fierce wave to its crashing conclusion.
Shaken deeply, Maggie wondered how she could feel so complete and so achingly hollow at the same time. She curled into Duncan’s chest and tried to block the pain and fear. But there was no pleasure great enough to keep such a deep, abiding pain at bay.
They clung to each other with his body wrapped around hers. It was a long time later that he finally spoke. “Ah, Maggie, what will I do up there without you?”
“Oh, Duncan.” Her eyes burned and her throat ached, but there were no tears left to shed.
“Do ye regret the decision ye made back in that cabin, Maggie?”
“To spend these last few weeks with you? No, not for one single moment.”
“But?” He tilted her chin back to his when she tried to duck his knowing gaze. “Tell me, Maggie.”
“I can’t. It’s selfish in the extreme. I mean, I wouldn’t wish you to have not seen Scotland again. Just seeing your face as you entered Stonelachen again makes any pain worthwhile. And then reuniting with Rory and Alexander.” She shook her head. “I would never take that from you.”
“But? What selfish feeling do you have? Because if it concerns me, then I have to say I am feeling much the same as you. Tell me.”
She swallowed hard and looked him in the eye. “I thought I’d be able to handle this, but it’s harder, so much harder than I ever dreamed and I—” She swallowed another gulp of air, then blurted, “I wish I’d taken your offer and gone with you that night, before Judd found me.”
“Och, Maggie, love.” Duncan cradled her to his chest and rocked her gently. “I have had the same thoughts. I wished shamefully that you were mine to take with me forever. Even though I would be robbing you of your life on earth, of your reunion with your cousins. Robbing you of the full life I’m sure you’ve yet to live.”
“But, Duncan—”
He placed his fingers on her lips. “Ye see that we feel the same. Ye’d give up this life and all the gifts of it, as would have I. Even my brothers, even Stonelachen. For you, I would give up anything.”
She could only nod, stunned by the depth of the feelings this man had for her, this man she so cherished.
“Perhaps this is what was meant for us,” he said.
“You can’t mean that. This pain? No. I can’t believe that.”
“What I meant was that perhaps it took the incident with Judd and these last weeks, for this love of ours to grow. If we had gone when They first made the offer, perhaps our eternity would have been one of misery and mistrust. This time we’ve spent together has made certain our legacy is one of love.” He kissed her again, then pulled her close. “I would wish eternity with you, Maggie. But I wouldna give back this time we’ve had, short as it was, for an eternity of anything less than this.” He kissed her slowly, deeply, with infinite patience until they both could only cling to one another. “This is a love that will last for eternity. ’Tis more than most ever have. We are well and truly blessed.”
“I love you,” she whispered.
He framed her face in his large hands. “I love you, Maggie.”
And then it happened.
A blinding white light filled the room.
In her heart, in her soul, she must have known what was happening because she screamed. “NO! I’m not ready, no! You can’t have him yet.”
Though she clung to him, and was still cradled in his arms, she could already feel him becoming less solid.
“Cry naught, sweet Maggie.” He kissed her fiercely. “I am to fully ascend. Your love has released me from purgatory.”
“Oh, Duncan,” she sobbed shamelessly. She could feel only the lasting impression of his lips on hers. “Wait for me,” she whispered before breaking down completely.
And then he was gone.
THIRTY-SIX
Cailean caught up with Delaney just outside the main room. “Finished?”
Delaney’s shoulders slumped. “Yep. No luck.” She put her hand on Cailean’s arm. “I’m sorry. So sorry.”
“Me too.” They’d all been in a morose fog after Duncan’s exit, but had ultimately decided that continuing the hunt was the best thing they could do. For themselves, and for Duncan and Maggie. “Are you heading back to Flodigarry?” Cailean asked wearily.
“I’d planned to, but my room adjoins Maggie’s and I don’t want to feel like I’m intruding. At the same time, if … if it’s over, I want to be there for Maggie.”
Cailean saw the anguish in her cousin’s eyes and felt the same ache behind her own. “It’s pretty late.” She didn’t have to add that it was probable that Duncan was already gone. “Do you want me to go with you?”
“No. You need to spend time with Rory right now.”
“But I—”
Delaney’s expression was adamant. “But nothing. I’ve seen the way you two have tried so hard not to look at each other since Duncan left. The tension between you is like a hot wire. You need to reassure each other.”
“I’m not sure I can after today. What if we never find the key? Rory has been shutting himself off from me these past several days. I think he’s afraid his curse will never be reversed.”
“But the feelings you get—”
“Are useless!” she snapped, then quickly got a grip. If she didn’t maintain tight control at all times, she’d unravel completely. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve felt certain we’d find it, but maybe I’m not interpreting it right, maybe I’m just superimposing my own wishes. Maybe—” She broke off and began to pace. “Maybe I’m losing what is left of my mind. All I know is that if Rory does decide that his curse is as immortal as he is, then he will pull away from me totally rather than suffer the consequences.” Her voice broke. “I can’t blame him, even if it is tearing me apart.”
Delaney pulled her into a hug. “I wish I knew what to say. I wish I could tell you it was all going to work out.”
“All I get are these vague, disquieting thoughts and th
is sense of impending change, big changes, for all of us. It seemed a positive thing, but nothing about today was remotely positive.”
Delaney gave her a slight shake. “Listen, I want you to go find Rory and talk to him, spend time with him. I don’t have your second sight, but I do know when two people need to be alone together. You saw Duncan and Maggie today. They were in agony, and yet they wouldn’t have traded one second of their time together. If you and Rory aren’t meant to work this out for happily ever after, then take what time you do have. You’ll never forgive yourself later if you don’t.”
“I hear you, Delaney, but it’s hard.” She released a shaky sigh.
“I understand,” Delaney said quietly.
Cailean heard the underlying confession. Over the last week, Delaney and Alexander had sparred like the bitter enemies that the Clarens and MacKinnons had been centuries ago. But no one been fooled by their constant bickering. There was no denying they disagreed on most topics and both had a real problem with letting the other one be the leader, something which they’d been teased about mercilessly by Duncan and found not in the least amusing.
But the true tension that sizzled between them wasn’t fueled by anger. No one had dared tease them about that, yet she knew they all understood it for what it was. They were all in the throes of the same overwhelming emotions; Alexander and Delaney were simply having a more difficult time coming to terms with it and finding boundaries within it they could both live with.
For all their protestations and debates, the two were, more often than not, off hunting for the key in the same general location. Cailean had caught them both looking at each other when neither suspected they were being watched. The heat and desire in their eyes would light a thousand torches and still have fuel to light a thousand more.
The Legend Mackinnon Page 33