Groaning, he pummeled the pillow and jammed it back under his head. He’d seen it coming. He’d been helpless to prevent it. Despite all his efforts, all his hard-earned experience, he’d fallen into the oldest trap in history. He’d let her get under his skin, and now he was paying the price.
Now he had to figure out what the hell he was going to do about it. It was no use trying to ignore it any longer. He was finding it damn near impossible to keep his hands off her.
What he should do was stay as far away from her as he could until he’d cooled off. But that was impossible. He had a job to do, and he had to see it through. No matter how much she heated up his blood. No matter how much he wished he didn’t have to go through with it. Because whatever happened, he was going to get burned—but good.
Gail fell asleep at last and awoke abruptly the next morning out of a nightmare. Heather seemed to be even more stubborn than usual, taking forever to get dressed for school. At long last she was ready, and Gail dropped her off at the kindergarten, barely making it on time.
Her dream still with her, she drove to the bookstore, aware of a prickly feeling at the back of her neck, as if someone were following her. Several times she stared into the rearview mirror, half expecting to see Blake’s car behind her.
All she saw was a beat-up old Chevy truck with a broken fender hanging down on one side. She had to smile. Blake wouldn’t be caught dead in a car like that.
The feeling of being watched stayed with her all mourning, and she wished she could banish the bad dream. Every time she passed the window she looked out, hoping to see Blake’s dark head across the street. Memories of the weekend constantly slid unbidden into her mind, making her smile.
The morning seemed to drag, made even more unbearable by her constant glancing at the clock. Half an hour before she was due to pick up Heather from kindergarten, she made up her mind she would eat lunch at the diner again. Maybe he would be there, hoping to see her but not wanting to pester her. That would be just like him.
If so, she thought, she would find a way to tell him about her past. She couldn’t go on like this, afraid of what he would think of her. She had to trust her instincts sometime.
All her life she’d been afraid to take risks. She’d married Frank because he’d offered her security, and she’d thought she knew him well. She’d gone for the sure thing and that had backfired on her. So she might just as well take some risks now.
She would lay it all on the line, explain about Mike’s lies, and hope that Blake would understand. She prayed, with all her heart, that he wouldn’t let her down.
The minutes ticked agonizingly by. She busied herself at the back of the store, determined to stay away from the window so that she wouldn’t be constantly distracted.
When the shop doorbell jangled, she almost jumped out of her skin. Her heart seemed to stop beating. Then, as she caught sight of the figure standing by the counter, joy filled her heart in a rush of relief. He’d come after all.
Blake smiled when he saw her. “Ready for lunch? I’m starving. I thought you might like to keep me company at the diner today.”
“You read my thoughts.” She looked up at the clock. “I have to wait for Polly to get here, though. She shouldn’t be too long.”
“Right. Then we have to pick up Annie and take her to the baby-sitter’s, right?”
“Right. She’ll be thrilled to see you.”
For a moment she thought she saw a shadow cross his face. “I’m looking forward to seeing her, too. That’s quite a kid you have there.”
“Thanks. I think so, too.” She dragged her gaze away from his face as the doorbell rang again and Polly hurried in.
“Sorry I’m late,” she said breathlessly. “I had to stop at the post office—” She broke off, her eyes brightening when she saw Blake standing by the counter. “Well, if it isn’t our faithful tourist. How’s the sight-seeing going?”
“Couldn’t be better.” He smiled at Gail. “I found this incredible tour guide, and she’s been absolutely wonderful.”
“Has she, indeed?” Polly murmured. “I’ll have to recommend her to my other customers.”
Still caught by his gaze, Gail laughed. “This is an exclusive tour. A once-only deal.”
“I’m honored.” He inclined his head in a mock bow.
She returned the gesture. “My pleasure.”
“Excuse me if I’m interrupting something,” Polly said, moving behind the counter, “but isn’t it your lunchtime?”
“Yes!” Gail snatched up her purse and headed for the door. “Annie will be wondering where I am.”
“I’ll drive.” Blake grabbed hold of her arm and steered her toward his car.
For once his arbitrary attitude didn’t offend her. In fact, she rather enjoyed him taking charge. It had been tough having to be responsible for her life and Heather’s. It was nice to lean on someone for a change.
She had to smile at herself. That was quite an admission after everything she’d put up with from Frank. Blake Foster had to be quite a man to turn her thinking around to that extent. She settled herself in the front seat of his car, enjoying the prospect of being alone with him for a little while.
But then she felt a little letdown when he barely spoke on the way to the kindergarten. In fact, he seemed deeply preoccupied, and she felt a stab of uneasiness as she studied his uncompromising expression.
“Is something wrong?” she said at last, when she could bear the suspense no longer.
He glanced at her with a start. “Wrong? No, of course not. Why would you think that?”
“You look a little forbidding.”
“I’m sorry.” He paused long enough for her to start worrying, then added, “I guess I was just thinking about having to go back to work, that’s all. It’s always tough when a vacation ends.”
Her heart seemed to drop right down to her heels. “You’re leaving?”
“son.” The hard edges of his mouth had returned. “All good things come to an end sooner or later, I guess.”
She’d always known he would go back to Seattle. She just hadn’t let herself think about the actual day. The ache in her throat was so bad she found it difficult to swallow. “So when will you be leaving?”
“I haven’t decided yet, but I can’t stick around much longer.”
Why not? For a moment she was afraid she’d spoken out loud. He hadn’t mentioned anything about being sorry to leave, or that he would miss her.
When he did speak the words, it was as if he’d echoed her thoughts. “I’ll miss you...both.”
“I’ll miss you, too. I know Annie will miss you, as well.”
She didn’t know how she felt as he drew up in front of Heather’s school. Her mind was numb, and the ache under her ribs was almost unbearable. She was afraid to think beyond that moment, terrified she would break down and beg him not to leave her.
Heather chatted all the way to Darcie’s house, making meaningful conversation impossible. She would just have to wait until they were at the diner, Gail thought, only half listening to her daughter’s breathless account of the morning’s activities.
Darcie opened the door when Heather rang the bell a few minutes later. Her gaze flew immediately to Blake sitting behind the wheel of his car. “Well,” she said softly, “I can see now why you’ve been so secretive about your dinner dates.”
Gail pretended to be occupied with kissing Heather goodbye. “You be a good girl,” she told her daughter, “and I’ll see you tonight.”
“Okay, Mommy.” Heather flapped her hand at Blake, then vanished inside the house.
Darcie smiled at Blake, and he lifted his hand in a casual wave. “He’s quite a hunk,” she murmured. “Can I meet him, or are you keeping him all to yourself?”
“It’s not like that,” Gail protested. At least it wasn’t for Blake, she added silently.
She led the baby-sitter to the car and introduced her.
Darcie stuck out her hand. “I imagine you�
��re the reason Kate has been walking on clouds lately?”
Blake grinned and shook her hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Annie. She thinks the world of you.”
“Yeah, well, what do kids know? As a matter of fact, I’m crazy about her, too.”
Darcie turned back to Gail and mouthed, “Nice!” Out loud, she added, “Don’t forget, if you want me to keep her overnight again, just let me know.”
“Thanks, Darcie,” Gail said awkwardly. “I’m sure that won’t be necessary.”
Darcie had the audacity to wink at her. “You never know.”
Hoping Blake hadn’t seen the wink, Gail scrambled back into the car. She kept her distance, sitting closer to the door as they drove to the diner. Full of indecision now, she tried to think what to do. There didn’t seem any point in baring her soul if he was leaving without looking back.
The car came to a halt in the parking lot behind the diner. She hadn’t even noticed they’d arrived.
Blake looked at her as she unfastened her seat belt. “Are you okay? You’re awfully quiet.”
“Just tired. I didn’t sleep well last night.”
“I know how that goes.”
She risked a glance at him and noticed the tension along his jaw. In spite of his apparent good mood, she could sense something different about him. Knowing him as well as she did now, she could tell something was on his mind. He might have been telling the truth, and it was just the thought of his vacation coming to an end that bothered him. Or maybe it was something else.
She tried to think back to the last moments they’d spent together. He’d left in a hurry. Had she been too transparent? Perhaps he’d realized how he affected her, and was wary of taking it any further.
If he’d had any inkling of her fantasies about him, it was small wonder he was on guard. She could feel her flush of embarrassment as she followed him into the diner.
As usual the tables were crowded, and they had to wait for a seat. Crammed in between a rowdy group of youths and a middle-aged woman with a voice that carried clear across the room, Gail knew there would be no opportunity to tell Blake about her past.
She wasn’t sure she wanted to tell him now. Maybe it was just as well, she told herself, as she picked at her chicken salad. At least she would still have her pride left. It seemed a poor consolation.
Blake appeared determined to keep the conversation going, in spite of her halfhearted attempts to answer him. “That was some museum yesterday.” He broke up a cracker and dropped it into his soup with painstaking precision. “A great place for kids.”
She barely took in what he was saying, the ache under her ribs was so acute. She nodded automatically. “Heather always has a good time there.” She caught her breath, feeling as if she’d plunged into an icy fog.
“I’m not surprised. She’s intelligent enough to get the most out of it. She’s a very bright little girl.”
She couldn’t answer him. A cold hard knot was forming in her stomach and her throat felt as if someone’s fingers were slowly squeezing all the air from her lungs.
Heather. In her muddled state of mind she’d made the ultimate slip. She’d called her daughter “Heather.” And he hadn’t picked up on it.
He’d known whom she meant. He’d known something he couldn’t possibly have known—unless he already knew who she was.
Chapter 5
She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t force another bite of food down her throat, yet she dared not let him know she’d caught him out.
Frantically her mind groped for answers. Maybe he hadn’t heard her correctly and just assumed she was talking about Annie. But did “Heather” sound enough like “Annie” to make that mistake? She didn’t think so.
She had to be overreacting, she told herself desperately. She tried to think how she would have responded if he’d called someone they both knew by a strange name. She would have wondered who he was talking about. She would have at least questioned him about it.
“Kate? Are you ill? You look as white as that snow out there.”
Startled out of her wits, she stared at him, making a vain attempt to hide her agitation. He’d given her the opening and she was going to take it. She needed time to think, time away from him so she could make sense of her chaotic thoughts. She wouldn’t jump to conclusions. She needed to think it all through carefully, and more than likely she would come up with the right answer.
“I...I don’t feel all that good,” she said, making no attempt to hide the trembling in her voice. “I...have a very bad headache. I get them sometimes. I...I’m sorry. I think I’d better get back to the shop. Polly has some medication that always seems to work. Do you mind?”
“Not at all.” He looked worried now, deep furrows forming between his brows. He scraped back his chair and stood.
She got shakily to her feet and let him help her on with her coat, although every nerve in her body screamed out to him not to touch her.
Don’t think, she told herself. She must wait until she was alone, without the distraction of his hand on her arm and that deep look of concern in his eyes.
He helped her into the car as if she were made of glass, and then drove quickly to the bookstore. He didn’t speak, nor did he look at her until they were parked at the curb.
“Wait there, I’ll open the door.”
“No!” She’d almost shouted it. She saw the puzzled look on his face and lowered her voice. “There’s really no need for you to get out in the cold again. I’m fine. Really.”
“Are you sure?” He leaned over and peered up at her as she started to close the door. “Call me later and let me know how you are?”
She nodded. “Thanks, Blake. Sorry to be such a drag.”
“Take care of yourself, will you?”
She slammed the door shut and ran into the shop. She didn’t look around, but she knew he’d watched her until she’d pulled the door closed behind her. Leaning her back against it, she drew in a long, shaky breath.
Polly gave her one look and then rushed over to her. “What happened? Are you hurt? Did you have an accident? It’s not Annie, is it?”
Gail just stood there shaking her head, fighting the threat of tears.
Polly grabbed her hands and started rubbing them. “Look at you,” she muttered. “You look frozen. Didn’t run over a dog or something, did you?”
With a tremendous effort, Gail pulled herself together. “I...have a headache.” She looked at Polly, silently begging her to understand. “I’d like to go home. Can you manage without me?”
“Of course.” Polly’s frown deepened. “This doesn’t have anything to do with our tourist, does it?”
It was uncanny how Polly could always pick up on her thoughts. Deliberately, Gail shook her head. She wasn’t ready to discuss it yet. Or even think about it until she had it sorted out in her mind. She could be wrong. She could be overreacting. It could have been an innocent lack of attention on Blake’s part.
And it could be something else. He could have been sent by Mike.
Her mind veered away from the horror of that possibility. She managed a tight smile as she pulled her hands from Polly’s grasp. “Nothing’s wrong. I’ve just got this terrible headache, that’s all. I guess I didn’t sleep much last night.”
“Daydreaming about that handsome tourist, no doubt.” Polly shook her head. “He’s quite a looker, I must admit, but I hope you don’t get yourself all in a tizzy over him. He’s only passing through, you know, and you know nothing about him. You could end up getting hurt.”
Gail’s own laugh sounded shrill in her ears. “Don’t worry, Polly. I haven’t got any illusions about him. I promise you, if I can just go home and rest this afternoon, I’m sure I’ll be fine tomorrow.”
“You’ll call me if you need me, won’t you,” Polly said, making it sound like an order. “I don’t like to think of you in that house all alone. And what about Annie? Who’s going to pick her up?”
Gail’s stomach d
ropped. Heather. He knew where she was. “I’ll pick her up.” She pulled in a steadying breath. “If I don’t feel well enough to go out, Darcie will keep her overnight.”
Now she felt an overwhelming urge to see her daughter. She dragged open the door, belatedly checking to see if Blake was there. The curb was bare, and she felt sick. Had he gone back to Darcie’s? Heather adored him. She trusted him. She would go with him.
“Excuse me.” Brushing past Polly, she headed for the counter and grabbed up the phone. Her fingers shook so much she misdialed and had to start again. All the time she was aware of Polly’s curious gaze on her, but she couldn’t worry about that now. Finally the line clicked as someone picked up the phone.
“Darcie?” Her voice cracked, and she had to pause a moment before adding, “Is Annie there?”
“She’s right here. You want to speak to her?”
Her heady rush of relief brought tears to her eyes. “Please,” she said unsteadily.
She closed her eyes briefly when she heard Heather’s voice. Carefully she calmed her voice to answer her daughter. “Hi, honey. I just wanted to know if you’re having fun.”
She listened, her fingers gripping the phone, while Heather told her about the game she was praying.
“You have to spin the little wheel, and then move the counter where the wheel tells you to,” Heather’s childish voice explained.
“That’s nice, honey. You be good, okay? Now tell Darcie I want to speak to her. I’ll see you later.”
Darcie came back on the phone. “What was all that about?” She sounded mystified.
Gail struggled to answer her. “I just felt lonely, I guess. Must be my hormones acting up. I’ll see you at the usual time, okay?”
“Okay. I’ll have her ready. Did you have a nice lunch with Mr. Gorgeous?”
“Very nice.” Gail swallowed. “Darcie, you wouldn’t let Annie go home with anyone except me, right?”
“Of course not. What—?”
“Even if you knew them?”
There was a long pause on the end of the line while Gail’s heart thumped against her ribs. She could almost feel Polly’s shrewd gaze boring into her back.
Every Waking Moment Page 8