“What’s wrong with being a lesbian?” Roxy asked, cocking an eyebrow. It was rumored she played both sides of the fence.
“Nothing, nothing at all,” I stammered. “Only that I’m not one.”
“Well, you see how it might look that way. You always turn down the guys who try to hit on you—“
“Because they’re jerks!” I huffed. “I don’t see you falling at their feet either.”
“That’s beside the point,” Roxy said. “Also, you and Tara are always giggling and leaving together.” She hunched her shoulders. “People wondered.”
That got Tara’s attention. “About me?” she scrunched up her face, “I don’t eat fish.”
Roxy and I busted out laughing.
“Seriously, Tara? Fish? What are you, some kind of stupid frat boy now?” Roxy asked. “Anyway, back to the issue at hand. Nola finally got some?”
“Yeah! Who’s the guy? He looked hot.”
“You were spying on me?” I eyed Tara, suspiciously.
“I didn’t have to, you were all over him,” she said, her mouth ticking up into a sly grin.
“I was not! I kissed him on the cheek. That’s it!”
“So you are holding out on me,” Tara said, satisfied. “Who is he?”
I rubbed my temples. I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation—at work. Tara, I could deal with. I was used to her playfully teasing me about my non-existent social life and encouraging me to get out there. But Roxy? This was exactly the type of information she’d hold over my head and spread around to the other girls. I didn’t want to tell her a damn thing, especially about Scout.
“Just a friend. We’re not dating or anything,” I said, the words souring in my mouth. My brain knew I shouldn’t date Scout, but my heart…
“So why’d you kiss him?” Tara asked.
“For giving me a ride.”
“I bet he did,” Roxy said, thrusting her pelvis back and forth like horny teenaged boy practicing his moves.
“Roxy!” I said, stifling a laugh. She looked ridiculous. “Seriously, it’s not even like that. We’re just friends. He gave me a ride, I kissed him on the cheek, the end.”
“Dammit,” Roxy said, shaking her head. “I was rooting for you to finally get some. Maybe then you’d stop being so uptight.” I rolled and my eyes and she put her fingers to her lips. “Smoke break.”
Tara watched her leave before quizzing me again. “Seriously, Nola. Who is he? And don’t give me that ‘just a friend’ crap. I saw the way you were looking at him.”
Tara is my girl, and I was dying to dish about Scout, but I was afraid it would complicate things. She would, inevitably, encourage me to date him, I’d have to explain, again, why it was a bad idea, and she would once again look at me like a sad little puppy who just couldn’t catch a break. I had a life. It might not have been the one my mother or Tara approved of, but it was mine—and that’s all that mattered.
I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “He’s the guy from the cocktail party.”
“The one who left you the huge tip?”
I nodded.
“Ohmygod, Nola! You called him! How long have you been seeing him?”
“We’re not seeing each other, we’ve just hung out a couple of times,” I lied, a little.
“Same thing,” Tara said. “So…what’s he like?”
I started to smile in spite of myself. “He’s a really good guy.”
“And he’s hot.” Tara fanned herself. “What kind of kisser is he?”
I shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I told you, we’re just friends.”
“You haven’t kissed him yet?”
“Nope,” I said, ready to talk about something else.
“So you wouldn’t mind if I went out with him then?”
I gaped at Tara like she’d completely lost or mind, or like I’d slap her silly. Take your pick. “Don’t even think about it.”
“See! I knew it!” Tara grinned. “Just friends my ass. Why don’t you cut the crap, Nola. You like him.”
“And what if I do? That doesn’t mean I have to date him. You know I can’t risk it right now.”
Tara sighed and her eyes went soft. “Not this again, girl.”
“You know I’m not trying to end up like my mother,” I said, reminding her why I needed to stick to my guns.
“Let me ask you a question.”
“Go on,” I said.
“You like this guy, right?”
I nodded.
“And how does he treat you?”
“Like…” I searched for the right words. Like my dad, I wanted to say, but didn’t. It would just be weird. “Like a princess.”
“And how do you feel when you talk to him or see him?”
My face cracked into a wide smile. “Pretty great.”
“Nola, my friend, then that’s all you need to know,” she pat my hand and put on her apron. “I know you’re scared, but you should go for it. Before some other girl does.”
14 Scout
I walked into Legends and inhaled the smell of leather and sweat. There were about a dozen guys hitting heavy bags, punching and kicking like their lives depended on it, and I felt right at home. Fighting had always been a way for me to relieve stress and get rid of nervous or angry energy, and after watching Nola bolt out of the car after I suggested she take the day off and ride up the coast with me, I felt on edge.
No matter how hard I tried to understand her, I couldn’t quite figure Nola out. Like me, she didn’t have an easy life, but she didn’t appear to be as jaded or as spectacularly messed up as I was either. Still, she was hesitant to let me in, which was frustrating as hell because I could actually help her; I could make everything right.
I stopped in the locker room, quickly changed my clothes and headed onto the floor to join the other guys pounding out their demons on the punching bag. I decided to stop obsessing about Nola, at least for a few minutes anyway, and forced myself to concentrate on nothing but how the taught fabric felt against my fists. It had been years since I’d been in an actual brawl, but I still loved the way my muscles ached after being pummeled by one of my sparring partners at the gym. Whenever I got hit it reminded me that I was still that kid from Pacoima who knew what it felt like to get knocked down and struggle.
Money had a way of making you lose perspective. When I first sold my company, and millions of dollars appeared in my bank account overnight, I didn’t know how to act. Like most kids who grew up poor I decided to spend an obscene amount of cash on flashy shit like a new sports car, an oversized house, and treating my friends to expensive dinners, trips to Vegas, and a bunch of other stupid stuff I didn’t need.
Soon after moving up a few tax brackets I noticed folks started treating me differently and it made me uncomfortable. People who didn’t give a shit about me before I had money were suddenly trying to pretend they’d been in my corner all along. And women who wouldn’t give me the time of day before I got rich started acting like I was some kind of Hollywood heartthrob. The shift in the way people viewed me was so swift and jarring I had a hard time trusting anyone except my boys Jason and Fernando, who’d had my back when I was just a skinny, broke kid my parents didn’t give a shit about.
I guess the song was right. The more money I had, the more problems I was forced to deal with. Instead of worrying about where my next meal would come from or if I’d be able to keep the lights on, I had to decipher who was trying to be my friend because they were genuinely interested in me, or they were just trying to drain my pockets. It usually felt impossible to tell the difference so I didn’t even try. Instead, I kept to myself and hung out with the people I knew before I got rich.
Nola was different, though. She was the first girl I’d met who didn’t seem concerned about what I could do for her. Hell, she didn’t even ask me to do anything at all. I’m not sure she knows I’m a millionaire, but even if she did, Nola probably wouldn’t care anyway. It was both endearing and annoying b
ecause I needed her to know how much I wanted to help.
I saw my friend Jason walk into the gym from out of the corner of my eye, and immediately smiled and called him over. He was one of the closest people in the world to me, and I needed to get his perspective on whatever was happening between Nola and me. Jason and I were the same age, and while I’d made my fortune writing code, he’d carved out a pretty good life for himself working as a private bodyguard for movie stars and hit rappers. It was right up his alley because, unlike me, he loved being out on the town.
“Hey man, I didn’t expect to see you here,” Jason said, pulling his hoodie over his head and tossing it against a nearby wall. He and I had spent countless nights in his garage when we were younger, lifting weights, plotting to take over the world, and talking about all of the girls we weren’t having sex with yet.
“Needed to burn off a little pent-up energy. Want to hit the ring?”
“You sure?” Jason said with a cocky grin. We were about the same height and he had almost twenty pounds of muscle on me, but I was quicker on my feet.
“Yeah man. It’s been a minute since I whooped your ass.”
Jason threw his head back and his wide body rumbled with laughter. “Whatever. You’ve never beat me in a fight, man.”
“Not true. What about that time we went at it behind Mega Burger?”
“That was a tie,” Jason said, still chuckling.
“I fucked your eye up, though,” I said, grinning.
“Yeah, but I broke your rib.”
“Shit, I forgot all about that.” I scrubbed my face and laughed. We were fourteen and both had a crush on Evelyn Sanchez, the cutest girl in school. After weeks of arguing over who would get to ask her out we decided to settle it the best way we knew how, with a fight in the Mega Burger parking lot. Even though we were as close as brothers we didn’t go easy on each other. By the end of the fight, we were both bloody and sore, and vowing to never let a girl come between us again.
“So…what’s wrong?” Jason asked while warming up on the heavy bag.
I held onto it while he beat powerful blows into the stuffed cloth.
“Nothing man, just need to release some tension.”
He paused and looked at me. “C’mon, Scout, I know you. Don’t try to give me that ‘nothing’ shit. What gives? Rich people problems?” he chuckled. “I hear about those all day.”
“Nah, man,” I swallowed to get rid of the lump in my throat, “girl problems.”
“Oh shit! Seriously? Some girl finally got to you, huh?” Jason was shaking his head and laughing again. “I knew it would happen one day, man. I knew it!”
I wanted to wipe that shit eating grin right off of Jason’s face, but he was right. Some girl had finally gotten to me. Nola had invaded everything—my thoughts, my dreams for the future, my…heart. And I didn’t know how to wrap my mind around it.
“Shut up and get in the ring,” I said, trying to brush Jason’s words aside.
“Fine. We can go a few rounds, but then you have to tell me about her, alright?”
“Yeah, alright,” I said, climbing into the ring. “But I’m not taking it easy on you.”
Jason and I put on our protective headgear, gloves, and began circling each other in the ring. He lumbered toward me and he threw a punch that would have cracked a few ribs if it connected with my body, but I bounced out of the way just in time. He charged ahead again and threw a jab near my head, but I twisted right, feeling the wind from his punch brush past my ear.
“Stop running,” Jason grunted through his mouth guard, and I laughed as he threw another clumsy haymaker and missed.
I shuffled my feet, bobbing and weaving like I was Mohamed Ali in his prime. I could tell Jason was getting annoyed, but I knew that meant he’d open himself up for an attack. As soon as his hands dropped away from his face I threw three rabbit-like punches to his jaw.
“Motherfucker,” he spat, aiming another punch to my midsection that didn’t connect.
I moved right, then left, and hit him hard in the kidney. Jason stumbled back, and I thought he was going to go down, but he recovered and lurched forward.
He threw a solid blow that caught me in my side and felt like I’d been hit with a glove full of cement. My knees wobbled, but instead of going down I smiled, thankful for the familiar sting to my body.
“About time you decided to step up,” I told him before jamming my fist in his face again.
Jason staggered back before rushing toward me again, but the clang of the bell halted his attack.
“Saved by the bell,” he grunted. “You ready to talk about your girl now, or you want me to kick your ass for real?”
“Whatever, man. I saw your knees buckling, you almost went down,” I said, chugging water. “But yeah, I’m ready to talk.”
Jason and I exited the ring, then grabbed our bags and headed down the block to get a beer.
“So what’s up?” he asked as soon as the waitress brought our brews. “Tell me about her.”
I sat back in my seat and took a swig of beer, trying to organize what I wanted to say.
“Her name’s Nola—“
“Like the chick from the film?” he asked, his eyes bright.
“What film?”
“You know, that Spike Lee one about the girl who likes to fuck, no strings attached,” Jason snapped his fingers trying to come up with the name. “She’s Gotta Have It!”
I frowned, Nola may have shared a name with the girl from the movie, but she was nothing liked her.
“Shut up, man. Anyway, she’s a student at UCLA, gorgeous, brilliant, hard working—“
“So what’s the problem?” he asked cutting me off.
“She sees me as just a friend.”
Jason choked on his beer, coughing loudly. “A what?”
“A friend.” I said it like it was the worst thing in the world. “She said it the other day when I picked her up from work. She even tried to pass me gas money for giving her a ride,” I shook my head, remembering how shocked I was when Nola handed me the cash. “I don’t know what to do, Jay.”
Jason chuckled for a minute, then got serious. “You need to wife her, man.”
“What?” I said, shocked a perpetual playboy like Jason would come to such a conclusion. “You know that’s not my thing,.”
He nodded. “I do, but I also know you’ve never talked to me about a woman before. So this one must be special.”
“She is,” I said, taking another sip of beer. “I can’t get her out of my head, man. It’s crazy, I want to protect her, I want to fuck up other guys for even looking at her, I want her to quit her job so I can take care of her.”
“Slow down, man. Let’s not get all crazy. Are you sure she’s not using you for your money?”
I shook my head. “I don’t even think she knows I have money.”
“So she hasn’t been to your house?”
“She has, but—“
“But what?” he said, impatiently.
I thought back to the first night we met at the cocktail party. I never interacted with the wait staff, didn’t even hire them directly, so there was no way for her—or anyone, really—to know I owned the house.
“Well, we met at a cocktail party at my place, but I don’t think she knows it was mine. She was working with the catering crew, you know, serving champagne and food.”
Jason nodded.
“Anyway, my assistant handles all that.” I took a sip of beer, remembering how beautiful Nola looked the first time I saw her staring out at the city lights. “I happened to catch her on a break and I couldn’t keep my eyes off her.”
“So it’s a physical thing? Maybe you just need to sleep with her to get her out of your system.”
“I don’t think so, Jay. I mean, I want to sleep with her, but I don’t want to fuck this up. She’s smart and she works crazy hours to pay for school and…” I stopped short of admitting my biggest fear.
“And what?” Jason ask
ed, like he was hanging on my every word. “What?”
“And,” I swallowed hard, “she’s too good for me.”
“Bullshit!” Jason said immediately.
“Jay, you don’t know this girl, man. She’s been through a lot too. Her dad died, and apparently that caused her mom to check out on her, but she’s not fucked up in the head like me. I don’t want to taint her, man. I’m just a poor kid with junkie parents from Pacoima. She’s out of my league.”
“Bullshit,” Jason said again. “First of all, you’re fucking loaded, and not for nothing, but you look like Captain America with tattoos and shit. You can walk outside and have a million women falling at your feet,” he chuckled. “But more importantly, you’re a good guy, Scout. You try to hide it, but you’ve got a good heart and you’d do anything for the people you love. I should know.”
“That’s because you’re my brother,” I said, pounding his fist and remembering all of the times Jason saved my ass.
“Exactly. That’s how I know this girl would be lucky to have you,” he said, draining his beer. “You just have to give her a chance, man.”
I rolled my eyes. “To be my friend?”
“Yeah, until she’s ready for more.”
“And what if she chooses to want more with some other guy?”
“Then we’ll make him disappear,” Jason said with a laugh, but I knew if I asked, he’d make it happen.
“Deal.”
15 Nola
Sunday crawled by so slowly it felt like time was moving in reverse. I dragged through the first couple hours of my shift barely smiling, mixing up orders, and limping along until it was mercifully time for a break. I sat in the backroom, wondering how I could possibly make it through eight more hours of pure hell when Roxy strolled into the room laughing so loud I thought my head would explode.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked, rolling her green eyes like I was the one messing up her mood.
I put my head to my knees hoping Roxy would leave me alone, but as usual, she couldn’t take a hint, or she just didn’t care.
“Nothing, I’m just tired,” I said with my face pressed to my legs. I was hoping to grab a few minutes of sleep on my break, but between the clanging dishes in the kitchen and the loud rock music playing throughout the restaurant, it was no use.
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